Happy NaBloPoMo! Or for the less tech-savvy: National Blog Posting Month. Apparently, there are bloggers who have vowed to post every day for the month of November! Don’t worry, slacker-bloggers with other responsibilities—City Desk has plenty of posts to go around. That’s what interns are for.

The New York Times is asking readers to look back at the year since President Barack Obama’s election and sum up their mood. As of Tuesday night, Democrats are “hopeful,” “proud,” and “thankful.” Republicans are “suspicious,” “depressed,” and… “unsurprising.” Please assign grammar lessons to those unsurprising Republicans. Also, Republicans can add some new words today after last night's election returns. Bob McDonnell!

At 12:01 a.m., the National Park Service debuted its new online lottery for the National Christmas Tree ceremony tickets. There are some 10,000 tickets available, and the lottery closes Friday. On the plus side: No more fending off tourists and huddling in the cold for hours to see a tree lit. On the downside: Did anyone actually think this through? Thousands upon thousands logging into one government-run Web page? I’d start bundling up the kiddies.  

The Washington Business Journal reported yesterday that D.C. is home to some of the nation’s lowest and highest unemployment rates. In September, unemployment in Ward 8 was at 28.3 percent, while Ward 3 was at 3.2 percent.

But more important, there is apparently a good reason the elevators are always broken in my dorm: All the tuition money went to former George Washington University president Stephen Trachtenberg. The average university head takes home around $359,000 a year. Trachtenberg received $3.7 million a year for his 19 years—$2 million more than any other university president. Unsurprisingly, on Tuesday 66 percent of NBC Washington readers were “furious.” And 6 percent marked their reaction as “thrilled.”

Were these the same 6 percent “furious” Obama is holding babies?

According to the blogger at 14^th and You, someone broke into her car—apparently to steal an ice-scraper and some mid-Atlantic maps. It’s a tough time to be a NaBloPoMo’er.

Prince of Petworth has a post bemoaning a certain dog walker. Apparently, “at 14 dogs at a time, this isn’t attention or exercise for your dog. Just a factory.” Besides doing some intense division concerning poops per minute, commenters also said the following:

“Kudos, dogwalkerman.”

“With the success of “Nanny Cams”, now comes “Dog Walker Cam.”

“I recognize a couple of these dogs…the owners pay $20 a day. Oh are they going to be pissed.”

“Prince of Petworth, you should become a dog walker on the side to supplement your meager blogging funds!”

And that’s the roundup. I'm locking my car and stealing some puppies.

Image: Web shot of New York Times page

The Washington Mystics have been rotten throughout Johnson's run as team president, having finished in the bottom half of the WNBA's Eastern Conference all five seasons under her, and not winning even a single playoff game.

But Johnson has gotten a pretty free ride through all the on-court suckitude. She's hailed by the gay community for not pretending the grandstands ain't laden with lesbians, and, not coincidentally, she brought the Mystics back to the top of the league in attendance.

Perhaps the lack of criticism in the face of such lousiness let Johnson feel empowered to mock Creigh Deeds, the Democratic Party gubernatorial candidate in Virginia, as a stutterer during a fundraising appearance for Republican opponent Bob McDonnell. But she's finding out she's not bulletproof after all.

The incident was weeks ago, but she's still being compared all over to George Allen when he called that kid "Macaca" during a Senatorial campaign a few years ago, even though stutterers don't have enough advocates to make the noise that followed the Allen slur. The Washington Post wrote about it today.

Surely the legs of the story have something to do with the novelty of Johnson, a black Democrat, supporting a white Republican, McDonnell, in one of only two gubernatorial races in the country this year.

But there's also the youtube clip of Johnson's fake stutter, and that shows her to be every bit the naive, heartless jerk that Allen looked like. It's the kind of moment that ain't really worth apologizing for, unless you can come up with a way to apologize for being a naive, heartless jerk.

But Johnson, who hangs out with the Virginia horsey set, has now given one of those non-apology apologies, issuing a statement that she's sorry only "for any offense he, or others, may have taken.” That's a tack Allen, and countless naive, heartless jerks before him, already tried. It never works. So now the Mystics management, like the management of a lot of local teams in recent years, is gonna be hard to root for.

If you pick up a paper copy of Washington City Paper this morning, you may experience a sensory flashback to 2006, when our issues averaged 160 pages and always weighed this much. However, it's just that our fall arts guide is stuck inside! Don't panic! The newspaper business still sucks! This year's guide has listings and content up the wazoo, including critics' picks and a feature that purports to tell local bloggers such as Morgan Hungerford and Matthew Yglesias just what they should do with their entertainment dollars this autumn. Also in this piece: bear joke. It looks great in print. Pick one up!

As Mike Watt would say, I feel like spielin' this morning. If you don't have the time, DO NOT CLICK MORE.

Rain! That stuff is wet! If you haven't left the house yet, pack a hat, or better yet: an umbrella!

Tonight, Virginia gubernatorial candidates square off in a debate that will focus on business. Washington Post helpfully points out that unions are shoveling money toward Creigh Deeds, which in Virginia should go over as well as another Ben "Cooter" Jones campaign. For sure, the race has tightened since Thesiscaca™, but it's hard to see Deeds pulling this one out. My buddy Norm points out this is a poll of registered voters and probably an "outlier," but then again he thinks the tea-party protests were a wake-up call to fancy-pants Republicans such as himself. I don't buy that---who is going to herd the nutballs into a majority? Mitt?

Also can I get a what-what for Anita Kumar, who is covering the bejesus out of this race?

• Has anyone else noticed that Giant is a lot cheaper lately? This major newspaper has. Can I get a what-what for lower prices?

• BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: After my helmet, your second-most important accessory is gloves. Buy yourself a quality pair! Sure, they're great for protecting your hands should you fall, but they also dampen the vibrations that lead to hand numbness. Velo Orange is contemplating a fussy pair for fancy-pants people such as Norm, but I have had tremendous luck with these gloves, which I got on sale for $4.95 and which have come through two summers beautifully. Look for extra material around the thumb.

• ITEM! Christmas will soon rock for the color-blind. Demby, I got you on this one, man!

It's 10 a.m.! I'm out of time! E-mail me for more riffs or follow me on Twitter!

On this date in 2005: Get your Tragedy Hats!

None of the Redskins marketing endeavors under Dan Snyder dropped the jaw faster than the "Redskins Flag Hat" that went on sale on the team's web site and at FedExField at the beginning of the 2005 season.

For $23.99 plus shipping where applicable, Snyder would sell you a Redskin baseball cap with a red, white and blue Pentagon stitched on the side to tug the heart strings and stir more nationalism at a time when the country was already crippled by an oversupply. The hats were a great way, according to the radio ads that ran on the sports stations owned by Snyder, to "commemorate Sept. 11."

The punch line: The proceeds weren't earmarked for any charity or cause. Unless you consider the owner's wallet a charity or cause.

Genius!

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Bankers going for Michael Vick haters? Bob McDonnell, you lie? Boswell basking in the afterglow of his Snyder bashing? DC Divas become video stars? A bump in the Nats' Road to 100 Losses?  Jaycee Dugard jokes?)

It didn't take long for signs of the Michael Vick influence on the football season to show up. The first commercial coming out of the first pregame show on NBC this season was for Wachovia. It featured a woman and her car full of dogs, and had her talking about how she needs to save money at the bank so she can make sure her dogs are cared for.

Coincidence? Heck no!

***

Sticking with notable commercials: Virginia governor wannabe Bob McDonnell ran his new campaign spot again and again on WRC after the Steelers/Titans broadcast.

In the commercial, McDonnell is seen walking down a suburban street while being followed by a cameraman as he lists a litany of political goals for the Commonwealth. To capture the football crowd that would be watching the spots, at one point in the ad McDonnell's son interrupts the boilerplatitudes by throwing the candidate a football and asking with a big smile and an excited shriek, "Dad, how 'bout a game?"

McDonnell answers, "You're on!"

But then he keeps walking down the street and talking politics! The commercial ends with McDonnell and his family standing together at the end of the street for no good reason.

Bottom line: There is no game!

If you tell your son, Game on!, and then there is no game, how can you expect Virginia voters to trust anything you say, Mr. McDonnell? How?

Answer the question!

Butt seriously: You've never seen a lower-aiming, dumbassier ad than this one.

***

Tom Boswell came off the top rope and landed on Snyder earlier this week. In his washingtonpost.com chat yesterday, Boswell told readers, "I've never had such near-universal positive reaction to a tough column."

Pretty soon, you could hold a convention of Snyder's supporters on a golf cart. Oh, wait. Maybe you already can.

***

Albert Haynesworth seems like a real funny tough guy. In an interview that aired yesterday on WTEM, the Redskins' only major offseason acquisition was asked if the size of Giants' running back Brandon Jacobs worries him. It doesn't.

“What is he, 250 [lbs.]?" Haynesworth said. "I weighed 250 when I was in the 10th grade.”

But here's Jacobs dominating Skins' safety Laron Landry last year. "That's getting run over!"  yells John Madden about the hit, which is far more brutal than when Bo Jackson's famously gelded Brian Bosworth in a "Monday Night Football" game. Jacobs' hit was enough to get writers of the NBC TV show "Friday Night Lights" to reference it in a script last season. In a scene where some characters are watching the highlight tape Dillon High fullback Tim Riggins sent to U of Oklahoma scouts, the guys all agree he looks like "Brandon Jacobs running over Laron Landry." (God, I miss that show! Come back soon!)

***

In case you missed it: The most viral sports column of the year, on so many levels, comes from Mark Whicker of the OC Register, perhaps the only employed writer on the planet who found inspiration for giggles in the Jaycee Dugard kidnap/rape/impregnancy/enslavement.

Read his non-apology, too. And the comments! It'll take all day, but it's worth the time.

Funny is hard, and damn if I don't hear a time bomb ticking every time I try to get chuckles here, what with New Media's typing demands and aversion to paying gatekeepers. But how many folks had to sign off on Whicker's words before they actually showed up in print?

***

I was in Delaware for vacation recently.

Few states like gambling the way Delaware likes gambling. There are casinos at the fairgrounds in Harrington and at Dover Downs, where there's also horse racing.

All the talk while I was there was about the feds siding with the NFL to crush Delaware's attempt to bring in single-game football betting.

Scads of evidence of the local love for wagering were available at Kupchick's, a nice, low-key restaurant in Lewes, Del. On the bulletin board, the results of the recent Travers Stakes from Saratoga were written in magic marker above the daily dining specials. There were stacks of fliers on the counter with instructions on how to enter the deli's Suicide Pool for this NFL season, entry fee and all.

So I asked the guy behind the counter what he thought of the appeals court's ruling that stopped the state's gambling pursuits. I guessed he would.

"Somebody made a phone call," he says. "They had to help Vegas."

I'm with him. No other explanation makes sense.

***

The DC Divas lost the Sup-Her Bowl, but the First Ladies of Women's Football* are featured in a new video I discovered on youtube. It ain't ever gonna be Soulja Girls -- I was the only one to have seen the video according to the Youtube counter last night, and as of this morning the count was up to just six views -- but, I gotta say, the song's catchy. Sing with me: "I like football..I like it a lot...I like girls that play...and even when they're not."

This thing deserves double figures in views!

***

Nats win! Countdown to 100 Losses™ stalled at 8!

***

*Dan Snyder really did trademark "First Ladies of Football" for his cheerleaders, a clear affront not only to women's football players, but also to the guy cheerleaders in his troupe. But not surprising. Snyder's amusement park chain, Six Flags, has also tried trademarking "Daycation" and "You Are Here." He likes claiming ownership of things™.

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

*D.C. Police report that they've made an arrest in Sunday's fatal stabbing of 34-year-old Tyrone Wheaten in the 2400 block of Elvans Rd. SE. 38-year-old Troy Richardson is being held for Murder One:

Mr. Richardson had reportedly stabbed the decedent and then fled, barricading himself inside of his own apartment at the above location. Member’s from the Department’s Emergency Response Team responded to the scene and were able to successfully remove the suspect from the apartment and take him into custody.

*Mr. T in DC was shocked to find a street vendor selling baby turtles in Columbia Heights.

Where did this guy get the turtles? Did he raid a wildlife sanctuary, or plunder Rock Creek Park? Were they a rare species, smuggled into the country? Does he breed them in his home? I'm guessing he didn't have proper permits and whatnot.

*The Prince of Petworth is pleased to announce that a "real historic diner" is coming to Trinidad. One of the owners even wrote him an email:

“My partner and I are moving an historic 1940’s diner from New York to Washington, DC tomorrow. We bought a Silk City Diner, manufactured by Paterson Vehicle Company in 1947, that has been in upstate New York ever since it was put into service."

*Today's City Paper must-do: "Presidents in Waiting" at the National Portrait Gallery.