Occupy Half-Smokes: The District was protest central yesterday, with marches tied to the MLK Jr. Memorial dedication overlapping with the ongoing Occupy D.C. encampments in Freedom Plaza and McPherson Square. Raheem DeVaughn and Cornel West were arrested outside the Supreme Court in one march, against the Citizens United decision that essentially found corporations had a protected First Amendment right to buy elections. Authorities have decided not to press charges in the case, though; DeVaughn and West celebrated their freedom at Ben's Chili Bowl. Whose chili cheese fries? Our chili cheese fries! +3

Look Out Below: This summer's earthquake has proven to be quite a boon to structural engineers who are also trained at rappelling down buildings. First a team examined cracks in the Washington Monument; now the same rope-toting experts are looking at quake damage on the National Cathedral. They may soon be available for weddings and bar mitzvahs, too. +1

No Profanity, Please, We're Post Readers: Want to keep your kids from learning dirty words? Get home delivery of The Washington Post! Ombudsman Patrick B. Pexton reported this weekend on the various words Post editors won't allow to be published in the District's daily journal; because his column appears in the paper, he couldn't actually say what the words were. But we can, based on his clues: Damn, hell, bullshit, bitch, fuck, and suck. Now back to your regular profanity-free Post stories, already in progress. -1

Gross, Man: Before it even had a chance to get rolling, the Sexy Rexy Era is over in Washington. Quarterback Rex Grossman was benched in the Redskins' 20-13 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles yesterday at FedEx Field, but only after he managed to throw not one, not two, not three, but four interceptions, helping to guarantee the visitors' success. Ordinarily, news that a lousy quarterback like Grossman had been replaced would be welcome, but the other QB is John Beck, who hadn't actually appeared in an NFL game since 2007 before yesterday. The team is now 4-2; no word on whether any Vegas bookies are taking bets that they finish 4-12. -2

Friday's Needle rating: 73 Today's score: +1 Today's Needle rating: 74

#OccupyDC: Considering how much help the rich folks on Wall Street have from the government based here, it's no wonder a protest modeled on Occupy Wall Street has now arrived in the District. Now a protest in Freedom Plaza, which was supposed to end today according to a National Park Service permit, will continue past the expiration of the paperwork. Chances anyone in a position to do much about income inequality really cares about the protests are slim, but it can't hurt to remind the rest of us how very different the rich really are. +3

Ben's Record Bowl: Late at night, after a few hours out on U Street, it's pretty easy to wolf down a half-smoke at Ben's Chili Bowl in what feels like record time. Rest assured, however, that no matter how fast you gobble that half-smoke, and no matter how many chili cheese fries you stuff into your mouth along with it, you won't actually be bound for the Guinness Book—competitive eater Joey Chestnut ate two gallons of Ben's finest in six minutes in a weekend contest at Taste of D.C. Presumably, he'll still have to pay for his order if he ever sets foot in the restaurant proper. +1

We're Off Not to See the Wizards: If the NBA labor dispute cancels regular season games, we'll all miss something big—the chance to lament how poorly the Wizards are playing. Local businesses in Chinatown, meanwhile, will also miss out on something else—significant amounts of revenue. Games at Verizon Center can generate thousands of dollars in food and drink sales; the Wizards, and their frustrating ways, may even spur more drinking than the Caps, Hoyas, or Mystics. -1

Bombs R Us: The District is the place to be this week if you're in the market for some weapons. More than 38,000 people will attend the Association of the U.S. Army's annual meeting at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center; more than 600 exhibitors will be showing off their latest products, including knife manufacturers, gun makers, giant defense contractors, and the like. Sign us up for some rocket launchers, please! -1

Friday's Needle rating: 59 Today's score: +2 Columbus Day bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 63

The Orange Line's Chili Bowl?: Until Nationals Park opened, there was only one place in the world to get an authentic Ben's Chili Bowl half-smoke, and that was on U Street. Now, of course, there's the ballpark stands, but the real change may come in a bit; Ben's is thinking of expanding to Dupont Circle, H Street NE, and Clarendon, Springfield, and Prince George's County. Maybe the Clarendon spot makes sense—U Street, after all, was once known as "the Black Broadway," and Clarendon could now easily be called "the Bro Broadway." Still, if the expansion means Ben Ali's surviving relatives make more money, we're for it. +2

Peanuts For All: Yes, the District has a cash flow problem. And yes, any money to help open new parks helps. But we're beginning to worry a bit about the precedent set by the new Planters Grove section of Marvin Gaye Park, sponsored by Planters Nuts and shaped like Jimmy Carter's favorite legume. It's not so much the corporate branding of public space, as it is the photo of Mayor Vince Gray giving a giant peanut mascot a high five. This is the nation's capital here, folks; can we try to retain some dignity? At least make the peanut doff its cap before greeting our elected leaders. -1

I Speak For The Trees: The outrageous heat sweeping the city isn't just bad for people, it's also bad for trees. So District officials want help keeping some of the youngest ones hydrated—and they'll give you the tub to do it with. The more trees, of course, the more shade there is, which makes this program a win for everyone. At least until the fall comes along. +1

Tacos For Some: The battle between food trucks and restaurant owners isn't the only one that hinges on whether portable food businesses have an edge over the bricks-and-mortar ones. In Adams Morgan, local restauranteurs are objecting to the Latino market that sets up in Unity Park, saying some of the food vendors don't follow proper permitting regulations. As a result, the market now only operates on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays; Saturday hours hav been canceled, pending a resolution. No taxation without tacos! -2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 48 Today's score: 0 Today's Needle rating: 48

On April 5, 1968, civil disorder that had started the night before after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination in Memphis turned into a full-scale riot in the District, prompting a federal response to protect the government and restore order on the streets.

The night before, local African American organizers—including activist Stokley Carmichael—had begun ordering stores to close out of respect for King's death.

Among the few stores that didn't close was Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street NW—mostly because Carmichael wanted to use it as a headquarters. As owners Ben and Virginia Ali told Washingtonian in 2008:

We put a sign in the window that said soul brother. We were not the only ones who did that. It was supposed to identify an African-American business. Some of them were saved, but some were burned. We were the only place that remained open during the curfew. Stokely Carmichael told me, "You are going to stay open. We need a place to meet to see what we can do to quell the violence. City officials and police officers will be coming here." I said, "There’s a curfew. How are my employees going to get through?" Next thing I know, we’ve got passes for the employees.

A march to protest King's murder turned into a mob, and by 9:30 p.m. store windows were being broken, and items looted.

Even so, D.C.'s police chief at the time, John Layton, believed the situation was under control. While riot units had been deployed by 11 p.m., Layton dismissed them by 3 a.m. the morning of April 5, thinking the disturbances were over.

They weren't. Mid-morning that day, Carmichael spoke at the Gaston Neal New School for Afro-American Thought, located at 14th and T streets NW. His words at the press conference were anything but calming. As recorded by Harry Jaffe and Tom Sherwood in their book Dream City:

"When white America killed Dr. King last night," [Carmichael] told the reporters, "she declared war on us. There will be no crying and there will be no funeral... The kind of man that killed Dr. King last night made it a whole lot easier for a whole lot of black people today. There no longer needs to be intellectual discussion. Black people know that they have to get guns. White America will live to cry since she killed Dr. King last night."

Carmichael ended his speech by waving a gun over his head and shouting: "Stay off the streets if you don't have a gun, because there's going to be shooting."

Just after noon, smoke from burning buildings was visible from federal office buildings downtown. The U.S. government effectively shut down by mid-afternoon, as fleeing workers caused what's remembered as one of D.C.'s worst traffic jams.

By 3 p.m. rioters had completely overwhelmed D.C. police, who had been ordered to engage only with tear gas, not live ammunition, on orders from D.C. Mayor-Commissioner Walter Washington. With stores being ransacked at 14th and G streets NW, just two blocks from the White House, President Lyndon Johnson ordered "Operation: Cabin Guard" into action. Troops marched across the Memorial Bridge from Arlington at 4:40 p.m. Troops erected machine gun emplacements around major buildings, including the White House, and began using tear gas to enforce a 5:30 p.m. curfew.

Nightfall saw a gradual end to the riots, and over 10,000 troops were patrolling a city where major commercial corridors were devastated.

One business that did escape the burnings, however, was the Giant supermarket chain. Joseph Danzansky, Giant's chairman, had been active in working with emerging African American community organizations (including Pride, led by activist Marion Barry.) Danzansky had allowed Pride's landscaping business, run by teenagers, to store their equipment at Giant stores. During the riot, Pride's leadership repaid the favor by dispatching workers to guard Giant stores. While five Safeway locations lay in ruins by April 6, not one Giant had been touched by the violence.

Photo courtesy Library of Congress

Restore Sanity Here: Information on the Oct. 30 Jon Stewart "Rally to Restore Sanity" has been dribbling out bit by bit since it was announced. Today's news? The location! The rally will take place on the Mall between 3rd and 7th streets. Unless, of course, the rally's FAQ page is just more fake news. No word yet on where Stephen Colbert's "Rally to Keep Fear Alive" is planned for; presumably, it'll be somewhere scary. +2

Not the Change We Need: How bad have things gotten for President Barack Obama a month before the midterm elections? This bad: Two dozen people got dizzy and fainted at a campaign stop the president made in Bowie on behalf of Maryland Gov. Tommy Carcetti Martin O'Malley. Prince George's County authorities say the warmer weather is to blame. But we know a socialist plot to sicken patriotic Americans when we see one. -3

Metro Takes a Holiday: The descriptions of all the service changes and outages scheduled for Metro this Columbus Day weekend are long and complicated, but they boil down to this: Don't take the subway. The Blue and Orange lines will split in two, and you should expect to add 40 minutes to any trip on those lines. There's also track work on the Red and Yellow lines. And it's safe to assume a train will break down somewhere on the Green Line at some point, because when's the last time 72 hours passed without that happening? Fortunately, it's not a three-day weekend when a lot of tourists are expected to visit the District. Wait, what? Oh. -4

RIP, Ben: It's been a year since Ben's Chili Bowl founder Ben Ali died, and to mark the occasion, the restaurant is giving away memorial buttons to anyone who comes by the U Street landmark today. You can now get Ben's half-smokes at RFK Stadium, Nationals Park, and Ben's Next Door, besides the original location, and the tourists flocking to the place since Obama visited early last year sometimes make the line frustrating. So what? Places become legendary for a reason. +3

Yesterday's Needle rating: 52 Today's score: -2 Today's Needle rating: 50

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT—"Councilmembers To Nickles: WTF,"Poll Shows Fenty Beating Gray In Ward One," "Thieves Loot Argonaut," "Runaway Horse Dashed Through Cap Hill"

Good morning. D.C. Council Chairman and Mayoral candidate Vincent Gray didn't let the Monday break go to waste. He held a Q & A with prominent local bloggers at Ben's Chili Bowl (points off for cliche setting). Gray took questions from DCist, Borderstan, We Love DC, Greater Greater Washington, and The District Curmudgeon; the bloggers covered everything from the streetcar flip-flop and education reform to small business regulations and Metropolitan Police Department Chief Cathy Lanier. The bloggers walked away impressed by Gray's—what else?—penchant for detail and his ability to admit when he screwed up (streetcar flip-flop). But let's just get to the news that warms this substitute LL's heart: IF ELECTED, GRAY HAS PROMISED TO BRING BACK THE WEEKLY PRESS CONFERENCE.

DCist's Martin Austermuhle reports: "On education, Gray spoke proudly of his ambitious plan to create a comprehensive birth-through-24 system. He pledged to be more transparent and hold weekly press conferences — something Fenty has been strongly criticized for. He agreed that the District's Summer Youth Employment Program — which 'has been about a numbers game' — needed reform, as did the District's Department of Youth and Rehabilitation Services. He promised that economic development would be one of the things he tackled in his first year, using regulatory reform to improve the "Byzantine system" currently faced by the District's small businesses. And yes, Gray emphasized that he was in favor of streetcars, though he did worry that not enough planning had been done before tracks were laid down on H Street NE. When asked about the budget kerfuffle which saw funding for streetcars stripped from the city's budget and then restored, Gray admitted that 'it was a misunderstanding.' 'I'm really sorry that it happened,' he added."

More coverage via Borderstan. Greater Greater Washington's Dave Stroup summed up his impression of Gray: "Any skilled candidate will provide thoughtful and compelling answers at a session such as this. The real questions are always in the nitty-gritty. There's no doubt that Vincent Gray loves the District and wants to see things change for the better. This campaign will be won or lost on Gray's ability to convince District voters that he can make these things happen. The wisest thing Gray said on Monday was that this campaign will not come down to who has the most money. Fenty has a large war chest, and a record of results. He also has vulnerabilities. This will be an extremely close race, and it will be interesting to see whether the idealistic campaign plan of Vincent Gray can weather the long, hot DC summer."

AFTER THE JUMP—Fenty friend fails and yet still succeeds, D.C. Council pissed at Peter Nickles (again), Mary J. Blige may be enrolling at Howard University, and much, much more!

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED: The Examiner's Bill Myers breaks some news on the Parks-and-Rec-Fenty-Frat-Bro narrative with today's must read: "A D.C. board issued an engineering license to a co-founder of a company with ties to Mayor Adrian Fenty even though the man has never passed the professional exam, The Washington Examiner has learned. Abdullahi Barrow has emerged as a key figure in the ongoing investigation into millions of dollars' worth of parks contracts awarded to companies owned by the mayor's friends and fraternity brothers. One of them, Sinclair Skinner, has said publicly that he relied on Barrow's expertise to win public parks contracts for Liberty Engineering and Design, a company founded by Skinner and Barrow. But Barrow failed his engineer's exam seven times since 2002, sources said and documents obtained by [The Examiner] show. In 2008, the Fenty-appointed Board of Professional Engineers unanimously granted Barrow the professional license because of his 'eminence' in the field, board spokesman Clive Cooks said. There are three ways to obtain a professional engineer's license in the District: passing the exam, having already obtained a license in another state, or for eminence. The board rarely issues eminence licenses, Cooks said. Since 2005, only four have been given out — including Barrow's, Cooks said. Barrow's lawyer, A. Scott Bolden, said any suggestion that Barrow wasn't qualified as an engineer was 'nonsense.'"

Of course, Fenty may also have his own fence problem. Myers goes on to report: "Barrow was deposed last month. Sources familiar with his testimony said that Barrow, like Skinner, had trouble recalling basic details about his company, including its first client and the last name of a third man, 'Chris,' who initially started the business with Skinner and Barrow. Barrow said, however, that yet another company co-founded by him and his wife was paid by Liberty Engineering, the sources said. The company, Providence Construction, has also been given a contract to build a fence for the city's real estate agency, sources said."

MORE PARKS AND WRECK: WaPo's Mike DeBonis reports that several D.C. Councilmembers are ticked off at Attorney General Peter Nickles, for paying out hundreds of thousands of dollars to one Rec Center developer/Fenty pal: "D.C. Council members aren't taking well the news that the city reached a $550,000 settlement last week with Banneker Ventures, the company overseeing Mayor Adrian M. Fenty's controversial parks construction. Democrats Mary Cheh (Ward 3), Phil Mendelson (At Large) and Harry Thomas Jr. (Ward 5) have jointly taken exception to the settlement — in particular, the decision by Attorney General Peter Nickles to sign an agreement while the council's investigation of the parks contracts is ongoing. 'Your decision to settle at this particular time appears to be poor judgment and motivated by something other than the best interests of the District of Columbia,' the members wrote in a letter to Nickles delivered today. It goes on to suggest that the agreement was signed 'for no other reason than to bring this matter rapidly to a close.' Cheh was still more explicit about said motivations in an interview this afternoon: 'To make something that's problematic for the mayor go away.' She said the move was of a 'similar nature' to when the Housing Authority cut a check for $2.5 million to Banneker on Christmas Eve — when no one on the D.C. Council, which was already investigating the matter, could have stopped it." Nickles tells DeBonis that everything was above board. Of the councilmembers' complaint: "They really don't know what they're talking about." More coverage via Washington City Paper's new Loose Lips columnist Alan Suderman, and WBJ.

JONETTA ROSE BARRAS: The Examiner columnist thinks Gray's education plan reads too much like Fenty's education plan (which she likes). Still, she argues that the plan "lacks freshness and innovation." Barras concludes: "Undoubtedly, Gray and his campaign have deliberately exploited the reality that most voters aren't intimate with the details of education reform. But those who have closely followed such events won't find any substantial difference between Gray and Fenty's plan — except the council chairman offered his with a warm smile and the promise of tons of town hall meetings. There's one more thing: Fenty has been implementing his plan for the past three years."

POLLING: D.C. Wire's Tim Craig digs into the numbers behind the Graham campaign poll showing Fenty with a slight edge over Gray among Ward One voters: "According to the poll, the incumbent mayor leads Gray in Ward 1 by a margin of 43 percent to 37 percent. Despite that narrow lead, many observers believe Fenty needs a much greater margin in Ward 1 on Election Day to overcome Gray's expected advantage in communities in Northeast and Southeast Washington. Ward 1, the city's most diverse, is home to many of the new District residents that the Fenty campaign has been heavily courting. On July 4, a few hours before the fireworks, Fenty was spotted campaigning door-to-door in Mount Pleasant. In his successful 2006 campaign, Fenty won 61 percent of the vote in Ward 1, his best showing outside of his home base of Ward 4. Still, Graham's poll demonstrates that Gray still faces a challenge in becoming better known. Only three out of four Ward 1 residents recognize Gray's name, compared with the nearly 100 percent who knew Fenty's. And with 18 percent of Ward 1 residents undecided, there is still a path for Fenty to match his 2006 numbers in Ward 1."

HIV-AIDS: Amanda Hess writing over at WCP's The Sexist tries to figure out what Vincent Gray means when he says he won't "over promise" on this issue: "Is Gray suggesting that the District couldn’t deliver on its promises to its last HIV/AIDS director? A recent op-ed in the Washington Blade posits that Hader received 'little support' from the District, and that her 'hands were tied' by a 'local government that lacked the funds and the vision to realize the full potential of a more integrated, multi-agency approach needed to address this public health emergency.' It’s certainly going to be difficult to sugarcoat D.C.’s HIV/AIDS crisis for potential candidates. Without promises of additional resources, will the District be able to snag a director that’s nearly as effective as Hader?"

METRO MESS: The Examiner's Kytja Weir reports that the cheaper SmarTrip Cards will be ready in late August: "The agency is planning to drop the price of the cards from $5 to $2.50 to encourage riders to use the reusable plastic cards. But the change isn't slated to occur until Aug. 29, according to a Metro report. Consider this the latest confusing fare change at Metro. The transit agency boosted fares on June 27 but plans to increase other aspects of fares — including charging 25 cents extra per rail trip for users of paper fare cards — starting Aug. 1. But it won't reduce the cost of the SmarTrip cards until just before Labor Day. Other SmarTrip card changes are expected this fall. So riders may want to do some calculations as to what makes the most sense: buy the plastic fare cards before Aug. 1 if planning to take more than 10 rail trips before the end of the month? Or wait until the price drops? Bus riders already pay a 20-cent differential when they pay cash instead of using a SmarTrip card — and they lose out on the transfer discount when switching from bus to bus or train to bus if they pay cash. So buying a SmarTrip card now makes sense for frequent riders."

CITY POOLS: The District is extending pool and library hours, reports NC8: "District officials say they want to ensure residents have a place to get out of the heat. One of the places they recommend are public libraries. a location on m street was open until 9 Tuesday night and people stayed inside until the doors closed trying to cool off."

MARY J. BLIGE: NC8 reports that the singer may be enrolling at Howard University: A well-known singer could be packing more into her busy schedule to get a college degree from a well-known D.C. university. Mary J. Blige may have eight multi platinum records, nine Grammys and several number one hits. Now she's after her college diploma. 'I got accepted into Howard University for the class of 2014!! Cheers...' said Blige. That candid comment caught on stage for Good Morning America Friday is causing a big buzz on Howard University's campus in Northwest D.C." University officials refused to comment on whether Blige has enrolled. Doesn't this sound like a reality-show premise?

WE HAVE A DEAL: On the convention center hotel.

MAYOR'S SCHEDULE: No public events.

D.C. COUNCIL'S SCHEDULE: Confirmations of funeral boardmembers and public service commission, rent-control roundtable discussion at 11 a.m., hearing on Community Service Block Grants at 2 p.m.

"Wait a minute. Clinton Portis is on this team?"

"Wow DC is as cold as Denver. I don't see what the big difference is going to be. Oh yeah, all the losing."

"I'm ironing my clothes for tomorrow's Press Conference announcing my hire"

"Mr. Snyder asked me something about a 'Rooney Rule'. That Dan, what a card."

(Hat Tip: the awesome Sports Bog)

Dee Does The District had a cold first day of class. Someone left a window open in their classroom all during the break. And "Dee" heard about problems in other DCPS schools:

"If the unhinged screen door to my balcony is any indication, it's been very windy (and very cold) recently. The daytime high, with windchill, was in the teens today. And how many of you were taught at a school without heat today? Three of my colleagues reported no heat at their respective schools today, which is just ridiculous.

Can you imagine the outrage and ruckus parents would bring if this situation occurred somewhere other than DCPS?"

Prince of Petworth puts up a completely weak-sourced rumor that Ben's Next Door may open an outpost in Petworth.

The Washington Teacher reports on some serious in-fighting within the teacher's union.

The 42 reviews Tynan Coffee in Columbia Heights.

Slate discovers Animal Collective.

So what the hell is actually open right now? Plenty. The District still loves to eat brunch even in these conditions. Here is a list of places currently open for business. We will update throughout the day:

3:10 p.m. Update:

The Diner: The Adams Morgan restaurant is open. It has no plans on shutting down its 24-hour service.

Angles: The 18th Street NW watering hole plans on opening at 4 p.m. per usual.

2: 50 p.m. Update:

Comet Ping Pong: No answer.

Second Story Books: The Dupont Circle location is open. But will be closing "when it gets dark. Probably about 5-ish," an employee says.

Soho Tea & Coffee: The P Street hangout is open. They plan on closing at around midnight.

Som Records: The 14th Street vinyl shop isn't answering its phone. A bad sign.

Red Onion Records & Books: The 18th Street shop isn't answering its phone. I wouldn't take a chance on going over there.

2:36 Update:

The Raven: The Mount Pleasant bar says they plan to open in one hour!

Commonwealth: The gastropub is open and has no plans to close early. "We are pretty packed right now," an employee tells me.

Yes! Organic Market: The Adams Morgan grocery is closing right now.

Melody Record Shop: The Dupont store is open. They are undecided on whether they will close early. "We have a constant customer traffic coming in," says an employee.

2:16 p.m. update:

The Heights Life says Target and Bed Bath and Beyond in Columbia Heights have closed.

DC Fire/EMS is reporting that Safeway at 40th Street NE is reporting smoke in bakery section, light blast, possibly electrical.

Banana Cafe: The Cap. Hill restaurant and piano bar is open. "Maybe we close early, depends on the weather," says an employee.

Denny's: the Benning Road NE outpost is open and plans to be open all day.

Java House: The 17th and Q Street NW coffee shop is closed.

Open City is open and packed.

1 p.m. Update:

Crooked Beat Records: Yes. You can still buy vinyl. The Adams Morgan store is open all day unless, an employee tells me, "it gets ugly." No customers have come in yet. "I don't know if you've been outside but...some of us made it here because we're idiots...We're here," the employee says.

Cafe Saint-Ex: It's open–as of now the restaurant is not closing early. "We're fairly busy right now," an employee tells me.

City Lights of China: The Dupont Circle restaurant reports that they are open and have no plans to close early just yet.

Lauriol Plaza: It's open. No decision has been made on whether the Mexican restaurant will close early. "We're probably going to be regular hours," a manager says, adding that they are still waiting on the owners to arrive. She says there are plenty of tables available.

The Black Squirrel: This institution will be open at 2 p.m.

Red Rocks: It's open and an employee tells me they will not be closing early. "It's pretty crowded," the employee says.

The Tune Inn: The Cap. Hill institution is open. An employee says: "We're open all day long, buddy."

12: 30 p.m. Update:

Columbia Heights Coffee: Not answering their phone.

Sticky Fingers Bakery: It's open but will be closing at 3 or 4 p.m. "We have some pretty decent business," an employee tells me. "We're probably about half full in our seating area."

Kramerbooks & Afterwords: It's open unless they lose power. "We should be running normal hours," says an employee. "We don't plan to be closing....We're starting to fill up our dining room."

Politics & Prose: It's open until 4 p.m. and opening late tomorrow at noon. Still, it's busy. "We've been getting a steady stream of people," an employee says.

ORIGINAL POST:

Ben's Chili Bowl: It's open. There are currently 20 people inside the U Street institution.

Target: It's open. An employee says that the big box may close early.

Tryst: It's open. An employee says that they currently have a "full house."

Busboys and Poets: The 14th Street location is open and has no current plans for modified hours. An employee tells me they are currently serving between 60 and 70 people. "I believe we're the only restaurant open on the block," she says. "At least that's what customers have told us."

IHOP: The Alabama Avenue SE outpost is open and may close early. An employee tells me they restaurant is fairly empty. But there's a reason for that: She says that Alabama Avenue has not been plowed.

*photo by Darrow Montgomery.

Come on, pervs: Get your name in before it's too late!

('Course, this also means time is running out on Cheap Seats Daily's ability to run everybody's fave photo.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Does Dan Snyder's vacation choice mean he's met his Waterloo? Elba is nice this time of year? Somebody wrote something nice about Dan Snyder? Really? Was it accurate? Not really? Where'd David Donovan learn to fib? Dan Snyder's poster confiscating binge was all a prank? Will anybody get a "Goofus and Gallant" reference?)

I read in the Washington Times yesterday that Dan Snyder is in France. How Freudian a vacation choice, considering the sort of slurs thrown his way these days. (Writer David Covucci got me chuckling with a piece posted at the hit-or-miss site Bleacher Report, saying Snyder' failings have been so epic that "scholars now refer to Napoleon as having 'Snyder Complex.”')

If Snyder stops at Elba, would he be allowed to leave?

***

Nothing nice has been written about Dan Snyder for years. Three years, to be pretty exact. That's when "The Dan Snyder You Don't Know," Harry Jaffe's profile of Snyder, showed up in Washingtonian magazine. Jaffe's story has over the years been regularly posted on Snyder's message board, ExtremeSkins.com, when the Skins owner's getting the crap beat out of him. It was posted again there yesterday.

Snyder was talking only slightly less to the press then than he does now, so Jaffe must have worked incredibly hard to get a sit-down. But the story, which came out in the September 2006 edition was an Instant Classic — for all the wrong reasons. Reading it now, you wonder what date-rape drug Snyder snuck into Jaffe's tea before he started typing.

Jaffe's Dan Snyder was a Dan Snyder we didn't know, all right. His Dan Snyder is "not even close" to being a "spoiled, greedy, power-hungry rich" guy like other NFL owners.  He's "playful, and shockingly normal," a guy who goes to "Ben’s Chili Bowl in DC at 1 am with his buddies."

And, ethical? Read on!

No one has questioned Snyder’s corporate dealings. He likes to say he has never been in court.

“I am a goody two-shoes,” he says. “Business ethics are important to me.”

Jaffe had somehow missed or forgotten about the FCC's reports about Snyder's pre-Redskins business, Snyder Communications, and all the million-dollar shenanigans it pulled through "slamming," or switching consumers' phone companies without their consent. In one of the investigations into his company's shenanigans, investigators for the State of Florida found that Snyder "forged the signatures of hundreds of customers on letters of authorizations purporting to authorize a change of customer's resubscribed interxchange carrier." (The Washington Post's investigation into the Redskins relationship with scalpers, remember, included charges that Snyder's employees were forging folks signatures on season ticket contracts.)

The hits just keep coming from Jaffe. Snyder, we learn, was actually patient with Norv Turner after buying the team in the summer of 1999.

"Snyder stuck with Norv Turner through the 1999 season, which was lackluster," Jaffe wrote.

"Lackluster"?

Well, actually, 1999 was the best season that the Skins have had under Snyder. That team won the NFC East and hosted the only playoff game ever played at FedExField. Yet Snyder somehow stuck by Turner throughout the year! Bravo!

Snyder, were also told in Jaffe's piece, began charging admission to training camp "in 2003."

Well, actually Snyder charged $10 admission and $10 parking fees in 2000 — the very first training camp he hosted. The date change is important, because it shows that as soon as Snyder could gouge the fan base, he did gouge the fan base.

To be fair, there are some enlightening parts of Jaffe's tale. As Jaffe relates an anecdote that's meant to show how much fun Snyder is, we learn where David Donovan, now the Redskins Chief Operating Officer and Fibber-in-Chief learned that honesty ain't a policy with Skins management.

Take the time Redskins general counsel Dave Donovan went to his first away game at the St. Louis Rams’ domed stadium. Snyder and [minority Skins owner Dwight] Schar saw him calling his wife and family on his cell phone to say how cool it was to be in the stadium before the game. They called the head of security and asked him to send two cops and “arrest” Donovan, saying it was illegal to use a cell phone in the stadium.

Donovan was escorted across the field. It wasn’t until he got to the other sideline that they told him it was a joke.

“We were laughing so hard we almost peed in our pants,” says Snyder.

Well, we can only hope Snyder was wearing Depends when Donovan went on WJFK earlier this week to say that there weren't many Philly fans at FedEx for the Eagles game, that the Redskins don't sue their fans, that only a few posters were confiscated by security at FedEx on Monday, etc. Though, come to think of it, Donovan says he's in charge of game-day operations now, so maybe when the Redskins had their security guards escort all those people out for wearing anti-Snyder t-shirts or anti-Snyder bags or carrying anti-Snyder posters, it was all a practical joke! Donovan was just funnin' with everybody! You got Punk'd, Skins fans!

And, Jaffe quotes Snyder associate named Mark Jennings describing Snyder as somebody who won't do anything "to get the next great article written about himself.”

Ain't that the truth.

I wonder if Jaffe would write anything differently if he could.

***

By now, all that's left is for Highlights to crush Snyder, and then every magazine on the rack, and every magazine off the rack, will have crushed him. Everybody who never wrote about the Skins owner has pounded him these last couple weeks.

After the New Yorker, you'd figure most publications would figure: Why bother?

But this morning, the Huffington Post still bothered. The online pub gives Bob Franken digital column inches to come at Snyder like he took Franken's money — which, in a disclosure contained in the piece, Franken says Snyder did (as a ticketholder).

Franken goes mega macro, comparing Snyder and the Redskins to Wall Street and the U.S. economy. At least that's what I think Franken did.

You be the judge:

So consider Dan Snyder and his Redskins a metaphor...a metaphor for heartlessness and incompetence that has brought things to ruin with little hope that next season will be much better since the same people will still be running things. No wonder so many are angry. A few have played the game terribly, but it's everyone else who has lost.

So I'm not the only one screaming that this is bigger than football to the point of foolishness? Cool!

Actually, I'd like to hear Highlights take on Snyder. He's providing teachable moments for all the children. And if Art Rooney was put forth as Gallant, you-know-who would make a great Goofus.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Brown (along with fellow politico and ex-Barry aide Bernard Demczuk) is first among local politickers as a denizen of Ben's Chili Bowl, and as a friend of its proprietor, Ben Ali, who died today at 82. He remembers his longtime friend with this line: "He came here ansd he wanted to do three things: He wanted to have a family, which he did; he wanted to have business, and he did; and he wanted to help somebody, which he did."

Ali, he says, "helped the entire community in any way...whether your church needed anything or your school needed a playground or you just needed a place to meet, you could count on Ben." And, he says, Ali made his restaurant a sort of sacred space for local officials and operatives looking to do a little business, have a quick bite, or make a big splash.

"You had to have a place to meet, have to have a place to sit down and invite people to. So it was Ben's Chili Bowl," Brown says. "Everybody from from Loose Lips to whoever, everyone's had to be there one way or another. It had black people, it had white people, it had old people, it had rich people, it had young people. It had gays, it had straights. It had upper class, middle class, no class. They all came."

The litany of politicos that Ali welcomed into his restaurant is legion: "Tony Williams, that was his very first stop after winning, the very first place he went to have a press conference was Ben's Chili Bowl. Charlene Drew Jarvis had to go through there; Dave Clarke had to go through there; Jim Graham had to go through there; Marion Barry, he lived there! I could go on and on and on."

Famously, of course, Barack Obama made an impromptu stop at Ben's in January with Mayor Adrian M. Fenty, shortly after arriving in town for his inauguration.

But for all the politicking going on inside, the restaurant itself has never been a political establishment. Brown believes that the only tiume he saw Ali allow a political sign inside the place was when his son, Kwame Brown, ran for D.C. Council. "They just don't do it," he says.

(Kwame Brown just released a statement calling Ali a "wonderful family friend and true inspiration," not to mention "a civil rights pioneer and the embodiment of entrepreneurial spirit.")

The true testament to Ali, Marshall Brown says, is that "everybody was welcome....My enemies! Sometimes I'd be sitting next to them, having a damn chili dog! They were there at Chili Bowl."

UPDATE, 1:15 P.M.: D.C. Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray has a statement of his own, calling Ali "a well-respected and iconic figure in the shaping of the historic U Street corridor." He ends with a brag: "I am a regular patron."

UPDATE, 6:30 P.M.: An addendum from another operator, consultant Chuck Thies: "Funny, I always felt welcome at Ben's EXCEPT when Marshall Brown was there....In 2006 David Bowers held his At-Large Council campaign kick-off at Ben's, Marshall Brown was there running the show. Brown saw me, took a bee-line across the room and said, 'What are you doing here, this is my house. Get out of here right now. Back in the day I could have you fucked up.'"

Thies adds a disclaimer: "I don't want to come off looking anti-Ben's," just anti-Marshall.

"He lived a full life and put a lot into the business," said a family member. Asked whether Ben's will close at any point in observance of the passing of its founder, the family member said a decision on that matter hadn't yet been made.

Another argument she could have made: The problem with all the civic boosters behind Nationals Park is that they are having to sell one of the ugliest pieces of city real estate. The MCI Center was built in a downtown neighborhood with obvious strengths that Nationals Park does not have. MCI Center had Chinatown, MLK Library and other civic destination spots like say the old DCRA building (ha), the courthouses, and police headquarters. Nationals Park was built in a decimated spot with almost zero charm. Anyway, I posted my two cents on the subject yesterday.

Misadventures in D.C. folds up its blog, blames Twitter and Facebook (like real media people!). They write: "The weird thing, of course, is that blogging now seems... well, so QUAINT. So old-fashioned, this idea of taking the time to construct paragraphs of text, telling a story, fleshing out an idea or thought through the process of writing about it. We've been reduced to brief one-sentence status updates (or worse, in the case of Twitter: 140 characters). It's easier to stay in touch than ever before. Yet our communication becomes more superficial with each sign of 'progress.'"

Borderstan collects early April crime stats for Borderstan.

And Now, Anacostia gives its blessing to Cherry Blast.

Bureaucrat310 mourns the crowding of Ben's Chili Bowl now that they've spotted tour buses parked outside the D.C. institution. There's tension between the old men and the tourists:

"I was at Ben's Chili Bowl last night with an out-of-town friend who wanted to "visit the place where Obama eats." It was 2am, crowded and loud! I sat at the counter next to an elderly black man and about three or four of his buddies. Yes, an old guy out past 2am! We'd already ordered as a white college-aged man started shouting his order behind me. The man, for some unknown reason, stuck his arm in between me and the elderly black man to rest his hand on the counter. He accidentally brushed against the black man who did not enjoy being touched – a small argument ensued..."

The 42 taps out a thoughtful rundown of area sports teams and events.

The occasion? Another cold-opening, guaranteed moneymaker from Tyler Perry, Madea Goes to Jail.

The press release from Lionsgate claims that all proceeds will go toward funding Madea's bail. (My guess is the money will actually go into the Ali family's pockets, as it should.)

Customers are also encouraged to make "Free Madea" picket signs, with the best winning its creators tickets to the film. T-shirts, posters, and "other prizes" are also promised.

Even if you don't care a lick about Madea, when's the last time your half-smoke came with a side of clothes?