Take The Long Train Home: What's more frustrating than having to squeeze onto a crowded six-car Metro train even though the subway system can handle eight cars in each station? Watching a ten-car train go by. The transit agency recently disciplined some workers for allowing a train too long to fit properly in stations to run all the way around the Red Line, from Shady Grove to Glenmont, before anyone noticed, on Dec. 2. It's not the first time this has happened, and we bet it won't be the last. -1

Today In Ben Stiller News: Forget fancy economic development plans—maybe the District should just hire Ben Stiller as a tourism promoter. The Smithsonian says visits to museums downtown declined last year, because a long bump from the 2009 release of Stiller's Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian finally wore off. Meanwhile, HBO is set to produce a comedy about a Jewish family living in D.C., written by Jonathan Safran Foer and starring Stiller. Which, presumably, will lead to more visits by out-of-towners to the Sixth and I Synagogue, where his mom is the boss. +1

State Of The Traffic Is Bad: Not only will Mayor Vince Gray not be a guest of First Lady Michelle Obama's at tonight's State of the Union speech, but streets between the Capitol and the White House will all be jammed up due to security-related closings. Which basically means Gray should probably watch the speech from home like the rest of his constituents anyway. Prediction: Obama will not mention D.C. statehood, anxiety on Twitter will follow. -1

Goodnight, Sweet Prince: The Nationals ended the season just barely below .500 last year, and the thinking in baseball circles was that the team was maybe just a few moves and a few years away from becoming a serious contender. But given the chance this winter to make one of those moves, the Nats whiffed like a batter chasing a Stephen Strasburg fastball, reportedly letting free agent first baseman Prince Fielder sign with the Detroit Tigers because they didn't want to pay him for as many years as he wanted. Is it too early to say wait 'til next year if pitchers and catchers haven't even reported to spring training yet? -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 40 Today's score: -2 Today's Needle rating: 38

A Good Time to Duck: Dig out that Spring flak jacket. There were were multiple shootings in the area this weekend.

Bus Driver Freed From Wreckage: In West Potomac Park, a charter bus cruising on Ohio Drive SW slammed head-on into another bus, which was parked, on April 30, at about 11 a.m. Both buses were empty except for their drivers. The driver of the moving bus "appears to have crossed onto the wrong side of Ohio Drive," say park police.

The driver of the stationary bus had no life-threatening injuries. The other crash victim didn't fare so well. "The operator of the other bus was tightly pinned in the wreckage, DC Fire Department crews used saws, prying tools, and hydraulic spreaders to remove large parts of the front of this bus to free the driver. This extrication took almost one hour," according to park police.

Ben Stealer: A D.C. police listserv poster is warning yard-sale-throwers about a thief who happens to look like Ben Stiller (Believe it; the movie Greenberg stole ten bucks from me this weekend).

"Watch out for a guy who looked to me to be 30 something years old and kind of like Ben Stiller in Zoolander, dark hair, thin very chatty and riding a red scooter bike or mini motorcycle," Lisa McGovern writes on May 2.

She says the Zoolander impersonator recently showed up at a yard sale she was having. He was friendly enough, chatting her up and buying something "nominal." After the stranger looked at some"jewelry and pointed out the silver stuff saying I could get $60 or $70 for a pair of garnet stones [earrings] on ebay," he moved on to the rummage sale of a neighbor.  Later, the slickster stopped by her sale again, then scooted to his scooter. She realized something was wrong too late.

"I went to pull those earrings out. They were gone. I said hey and he took off. My neighbor checked and she was missing a waterford piece too." The poster says the thief claimed his family owned a D.C. jewelry store.

It Must Have Been an iPhone: On May 1, cops say, at about 12:45 p.m. in the 3400 block of 18th Street NE, a man was confronted by several juveniles who tried to snatch his cell. The man wouldn't let go, so they punched him. He still refused to let go.  Cops showed up just in time and the crew scattered. One of the suspects was caught and identified by the victim, who seems to be one tough dude. "Nothing was taken from the victim and he refused treatment from the DC Fire Department and EMS Ambulance," cops say.

Worst Neighbor On The Block: A man has been found guilty of gay-bashing his elderly neighbor in the 1200 block of Eaton Road SE. On April 28, Anthony Wright, 42, was convicted of bias-related simple assault and bias-related threats to do bodily harm.

Wright punched his gay neighbor on June 6, 2009, and then later, on August 27, 2009, threatened him with a knife.

But according to court documents, Wright had been torturing his 67-year-old victim for a long time before that, harassing him any chance he got. Even after Wright was arrested for the punch, which occurred right outside the victim's apartment building, he wouldn't let up: "Upon his release, Wright returned back to the apartment building and proclaimed to the people standing outside, including the victim, that 'they don’t lock you up for hitting faggots.' prosecutors say. "Wright continued to harass, belittle and abuse the victim, including calling him a 'faggot' every Sunday as the victim left for church."

- Terminator Salvation: "I'll be back... again and again and again..." And again. Yep, Warner Bros. thought a fourth film about post-apocalyptic crusading cyborgs would be perfect for summer 2009. This time around, it's 2018 and Edward Furlong's John Connor has matured into resistance-leader Christian Bale. Helena Bonham Carter makes an appearance and Common joins the quest to rally nuclear holocaust survivors and save the world.

- Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: Lovable night guard Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) is back, this time a successful inventor who returns to his old post at New York's Museum of Natural History where the curator, played to perfection by Ricky Gervais, tells him that many of the old exhibits are being shipped to the Smithsonian, for storage or destruction. Daley races to D.C. where he's joined by Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams)—and eventually everyone in the Air and Space Museum—on a heartwarming journey to save old friends and defeat the evil Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria).

- Every Little Step: Wanna know what it takes to dance on Broadway? Filmmakers James D. Stern and Adam Del Deo were allowed unprecedented access to the auditions for 2006's revival of A Chorus Line. The resulting documentary weaves archival audio and footage into video of the '06 the audition process in an inspiring revelation of the love, sweat, and tears poured into casting and producing one of the most beloved American musicals.

- Dance Flick: Yet another send-up of pop cultural detritus, courtesy of the Wayans brothers. The plot in a nutshell: Aspiring stars Megan (Shoshana Bush) and Thomas (Damon Wayans, Jr.) overcome their differences (she's privileged, he's from the "wrong side of the tracks") to realize their dreams. Dance flicks spoofed include Save the Last Dance, Flashdance, and Step Up.

- The Brothers Bloom: Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, and Mark Ruffalo power this "indie" film with a Juno-sized budget. Stephen (Ruffalo) and Bloom (Brody) are skilled conmen about to pull off their last job. The target: quirky heiress Penelope Stamp (Weisz). Together they travel the world in an elaborate effort to swipe millions from Stamp, with whom Bloom falls in love and complicates the con.

- The Girlfriend Experience: Adult film star Sasha Grey stars as a high-end call girl with the clothes, class, and capitalist savvy to back her $2,000 per hour price tag in Steven Soderbergh's film. But staying on top of her game becomes an endless struggle, juggling responsibilities to her "continuing education" classes, personal trainer boyfriend (Chris Santos), and clients.

- Summer Hours: Olivier Assayas’ brilliant meditation on French nationalism and globalization chronicles the death of one generation and the rise of the next. When the Marly family's matriarch dies, she leaves the estate—brimming with coveted works of art—in the care of eldest son Frédéric (Charles Berling). It's up to him to keep his mother's collection intact for generations to come, but he meets more than a little resistance from expat siblings (Juliette Binoche, Jeremie Renier) and disaffected children.