Have you heard the one about the fake 140-year-old hot dog?

How Batman kicked Superman's ass? ("Holy ass-kicking, Batman!")

How pot dealers prefer FedEx to UPS ("I mean, if you absolutely, positively have to get stoned overnight, I guess it's the way to go," says the Post's Petula Dvorak) but the USPS over both?

Actually, the story behind that last item is worth a closer look.

According to Politico, Melanie Sloan, a former federal prosecutor who works for the Center for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (responsibility? ethics?), was cooking dinner and watching her 11-month-old on Monday night when a FedEx guy showed up at the door with a package. It looked weird. It had only her Capitol Hill address on it, not her name, and it came from a mailing center in Anaheim, Calif.

She and her husband weren't expecting anything, but what the heck, who doesn't love an unexpected package? They set about opening it. It took 10 minutes, which was probably the first clue it wasn't a handmade knit hat for the baby.

Sloan and her husband cut through layers of insulation normally used in ceilings – which led them to believe there was an explosive inside. But the next level was a “huge oval wrapped in a zillion layers of plastic wrap.” It was then they smelled coffee, which is often used to cover the scent of drugs. And as a former Assistant United States Attorney in the District of Columbia, Sloan knew what was inside.

When she called the police, 12 showed up at her door. And they shot a series of photos of the huge block of pot. “They’re used to seeing dime bags,” Sloan joked.

One more thing: It has been reported to me by a top secret source that the print-edition City Papers were missing from their normal spot in the Rosslyn Metro station yesterday. Did you see them, Jim Brady?

But I digress: You'll have another chance to see The Dark Knight in all its full-screened, Best Picture-worthy glory (yeah I said it) when it's rereleased in theaters both short and IMAX on Jan. 23.

The significance of the date? Oscar noms will be announced Jan. 22, so apparently Warner Bros. is feeling pretty confident. (Normally nominations are announced on a Tuesday, but apparently there's some other big thing going on Jan. 20.)

In related Bat news, Blockbuster announced results of a survey asking fans which stars they'd like to see in the franchise's third installment. The top two? Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie — which proves that Joe the Moviegoer should never be asked for his input, ever.

Depp could possibly shed his recent Pirates of the Caribbean megastardom and bring some of his old-school sinister brilliance to the film. But Jolie, talented though she may be, is just too People Magazine to not be a distraction and undermine the approach director Christopher Nolan has had such great success with in Batman Begins and Dark Knight: Using hugely gifted but slightly under-the-radar actors to bring real heft to his more serious reframing of the comic.

I loved Tim Burton's Batman and certainly don't believe all comic-book adaptations should send fans running for a copy of the DSM-IV. But this series has been terrific thus far, so why change things?