Mornin', City Desk readers! Welcome to the second edition of what used to be but is no longer Freedom Friday. Remember: Freedom is dead. Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

One word: Oprah! The "queen of daytime television" will announce today she's ending her show in 2011. This is huge! Now, in case you're a little slow, let me connect the dots and tell you what's really going on here. Just this week, Sarah Palin goes on Oprah to plug her book Going Rogue even while insisting that 2012 is "not on my radar screen right now," which is what all candidates for president have to say in 2009. Oprah is all charming, as usual, and gets her biggest audience in two years! Then, just a few days later, Oprah announces that she will be leaving her show after 25 years to "start her own cable channel." Coincidence? This could really only mean one thing: Palin-Winfrey 2012! You heard it here first.

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: The “Palin-Winfrey 2012″ Edition" »

The best post-election piece I read today appears as an Op-Ed in the New York Times. In it, writer Colson Whitehead makes no mention of Bob McDonnell's win or Jon Corzine's defeat but, rather, reminds us of something much more important: It's been exactly a year since the United States became a postracial society.

And so, 365 days after Barack Obama was elected the country's first African-American president, Whitehead suggests it's time for a little oversight in the form of a new government position: secretary of postracial affairs. He selflessly offers to serve his country in that capacity himself.

Read More "Forget Gov.-Elect McDonnell, Meet the New Secretary of Postracial Affairs" »

Happy NaBloPoMo! Or for the less tech-savvy: National Blog Posting Month. Apparently, there are bloggers who have vowed to post every day for the month of November! Don’t worry, slacker-bloggers with other responsibilities—City Desk has plenty of posts to go around. That’s what interns are for.

The New York Times is asking readers to look back at the year since President Barack Obama’s election and sum up their mood. As of Tuesday night, Democrats are “hopeful,” “proud,” and “thankful.” Republicans are “suspicious,” “depressed,” and… “unsurprising.” Please assign grammar lessons to those unsurprising Republicans. Also, Republicans can add some new words today after last night's election returns. Bob McDonnell!

At 12:01 a.m., the National Park Service debuted its new online lottery for the National Christmas Tree ceremony tickets. There are some 10,000 tickets available, and the lottery closes Friday. On the plus side: No more fending off tourists and huddling in the cold for hours to see a tree lit. On the downside: Did anyone actually think this through? Thousands upon thousands logging into one government-run Web page? I’d start bundling up the kiddies.   Read More "Our Morning Roundup: The “Thrilled, Hopeful, and Unsurprising” Edition" »

Allison Vivas once thought she'd be spending Wednesday night in D.C. with Newt Gingrich. Then he stood her up.

Instead of getting mad, Vivas got even. So just as the Scandinavians were doling out the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama, Gingrich was being named "Porn Fan of the Year."

Politics played a role in both awards.

Read More "The Newt Pornographer Strikes Back: Gingrich Named Porn Fan of the Year by Scorned Dinner Date" »

What the hell, City Desk readers? President Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize! Even though he's done nothing for peace! Brief thoughts on this: Norwegians are much, much more sentimental, European, and borderline-retarded than anyone realizes. Also, Obama won, basically, for not being George W. Bush. How else to explain the fact that he had been in office for a little over a week when he was nominated for the prize, and had yet to officially do nothing to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Incidentally, the Taliban are also disappointed in the Norwegians:

"We have seen no change in his strategy for peace. He has done nothing for peace in Afghanistan," Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid told AFP....

"When Obama was elected president, we were hopeful he would keep his promise to bring change. But he brought no change, he has continued the same old strategy as (President George W.) Bush.

I don't mean to further offend the sycophants on the prize committee, but I have to say, the Taliban kinda sorta have a stake in this. Granted, they are shitty and stupid and regressive. But they're also getting bombed and shot by USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: Prez Obama Further Alters the Nature of Reality" »

Happy Hump-Day! I can see you slumping over and sleeping at your desk, so I’ve helpfully ended each news-blip with a BOOM, in honor of the Black Eyed Peas, Brett from FOTC, and the DC Metro transit system. Stay awake! Boom!

For those metro riders who have finally managed to assuage their fears of track-jumpers and crashed cars—stop reading. Prince of Petworth reports that there was more trouble on the red line yesterday. One witness said his car had “a series of explosions, with little fire and sparks everywhere.” Another mentioned a “loud BOOM!” and a decent cloud of smoke at Metro Center. And before that fiasco, the car reportedly stopped to let a sick passenger off the train. Coincidence? Metro says the train “lost one of its collector shoes”. My theory is that there was an X-Men/Heroes/Men in Black character on the train who beat up an invisible bad-guy, and than erased everyone’s memory. Draw your own conclusions. Boom!

Read More "Morning Roundup: The “Loud BOOM!” Edition" »

President Barack Obama, accompanied by the first lady, stopped by a Habitat for Humanity project today on 54th and Clay Streets NE near the Richardson Dwellings.

Here's the pool report, filed by Anna Fifield of Financial Times:

The president and Mrs Obama on Friday afternoon went to a Habitat For Humanity housing project in Deanwood, north-east Washington DC.

They visited a three-home development that will be completed at the beginning of next year.

Kent Adcock, the Habitat chair, took them on a tour of the project then they went into one of the houses, where they helped to paint the living room.

Read More "Obama In Ward 7" »

Good morning, City Desk readers, and welcome to a slightly soggy Freedom Friday!

"All Hands on Deck," Chief Cathy L. Lanier's unconstitutional excuse for setting up roadblocks and checkpoints, is done--but not because it violated the Fourth Amendment. No, AHOD is dead because "police union officials have long decried the AHODs as essentially a publicity stunt that generate goodwill for politicians at the expense of rank-and-file officers."

Christ almighty: "We'll stop this thing we're doing that's illegal, but only because the people we've asked to do it ARE TIRED OF DOING IT SO MUCH. " If you're disappointed that AHOD is kaput--and at least one of you is--then you obviously never had anything to hide and are probably an incredibly boring person.  The rest of us will be celebrating the return of our right to no unreasonable searches and seizures at an undisclosed location. ORWELLIAN SAPS ARE NOT INVITED.

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: RIP, AHOD; You Won’t Be Missed" »

When Joe Wilson, the previously unknown but now infamous South Carolina congressman, shouted out "You lie!" to Barack Obama during the president's health care address to Congress Wednesday night, it seemed, most of all, really, really rude, and you didn't have to be a Democrat to think that.

It was also, some hold, racist - at least on a subconscious level. An online commentary by the Project on Race in Political Communication, called "The Racial Context for Joe Wilson's Outburst," which has been twittering around a good bit, makes the case.

Read More "Joe “You Lie!” Wilson: Rudeness or Racism?" »

This very morning will prove to have been a very dangerous one in American history, as President Barack Obama seeks to indoctrinate millions of impressionable little children with his communist ideology and his hatred of white people.

Below, we break down some of the key language in his "stay in school", "work hard," "listen to your parents," "be responsible," "do something with your life," "education" speech, available at whitehouse.gov, though, on second thought, don't click  there, as it might launch some kind of White House-concocted virus into your computer that will then send radical messages into your brain.

Read More "Morning Roundup: The Presidential Subversion Edition" »

The black baby doll wearing a "Lil' monkey" hat - and cuddling with a stuffed monkey - is no more.

The Associated Press reports that Costco has pulled the African-American version of the "Cuddle with Me, Doll with Plush Monkey" after receiving complaints about its possible racist connotations. The white and Hispanic Lil' monkeys are still available (not racist), as is the black doll cuddling a panda (also not racist).

Read More "Black Doll with Panda: Okay. Black Doll with Monkey: Not So Much." »

Good Morning, City Desk readers!  It's the second week in August, which usually means that most people are on vacation and not doing anything news-worthy.  But when he was elected, President Obama promised change and he has followed through on that.  Congressional town meetings, once sedate opportunities for schmoozing with your elected officials, have suddenly become centers of lunacy, where anyone will get up and scream their opinions at members of Congress.  Let's take a closer look at two of yesterday's meetings:

• Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) held a town-hall meeting in Hillsboro, MO yesterday.  Or rather, she tried to hold a town-hall meeting and was met with so much anger about health care reform that she took to disciplining the audience.  Video of her questioning the audience's rudeness is here, but McCaskill also tweeted her feelings about this great day in America.
• At another town-hall meeting in New Hampshire, President Obama spent time addressing the concerns of citizens who are wary of the new health care plan.  Unfortunately, this guy couldn't be assuaged, so he decided to show up with a (legal) gun strapped to his leg. Chris Matthews is ready to tear William Kostric a new one but apparently the gun was more for show than actual use and according to Kostric, no one from New Hampshire was alarmed. Read More "Our Morning Roundup: Angry Townsfolk Edition" »

Kudos to CNN for leading its Obama Beer Summit story with who drank what instead of who said what. There's a special place in hell for people who pander. Also, did you know Obama had another meeting yesterday, with Philippines President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo? Of course not.

While we're on the topic of elevating abusive cops above world leaders, I've got two more candidates for future beer summits--and one of 'em's local!

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: We Need Another Beer Summit" »

Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham seems hellbent on naming a small Columbia Heights park after President Barack Obama.

That would require ditching the property's current name: 14th and Girard Park. Prosaic, certainly, but a name's a name, and tossing away a historic moniker to honor the latest hot thing is not a good precedent to set.

So what is the provenance of the name Girard?

Reader and local historian Scott W. Langill writes in, having done a spot of research:

Read More "Honoring Obama With Park Would Slight Stephen Girard!" »

Good morning, City Desk readers, and welcome to the running-like-a-scalded-dog edition of Freedom Friday! Last night, yours truly cabbed his sweaty, sushi-filled gut to Source for the initial performance of the Capital Fringe Festival's Bare Breasted Women Sword Fighting. What a show! It may have changed my perspective on a lot of things, porn included. I'll post a "hipshot" review of the show over at Fringe&Purge later this morning. Which reminds me: If you haven't read Washington City Paper's Fringe blog, you're really missing out--like these fellas missed out on every single Sadie Hawkins dance.

Child porn, compulsory abortions, and Obama birthers after the jump.

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: No Prison for Child Porn" »