Doors opened at the Lincoln Memorial at 8 a.m. for Beyonce's biggest fans. TV reporters report people were sleeping in their cars at 3:30 a.m. to be the first in. The good news if you're going:

• High today of 39 degrees, which is downright balmy compared to yesterday and the day before.
• Tiger Woods is totally coming. So is Laura Linney. That means there's a party happenin' right here.
• There seem to be no restrictions on bringing blankets and chairs.

Here's the bad news:

• You can't bring weapons, ammo, thermo and glass containers, backpacks, bikes, coolers, giant signs, or laser pointers. I assume whistles are fine for all you ravers.
• The much ballyhooed bag restrictions still apply. Stop off at Ace hardware before you go.
• For those of you who are not prepared to freeze off your hindparts, you can still see/hear the show without being a fancy HBO subscriber. It'll stream on NPR.org and HBO.com.

Some more relevant info, via News Channel 4:

Read More "Going to the Lincoln? What You Need to Know About Bags, Weapons" »

Old news flash: The Federal Security Apparatus (FSA) won't allow anyone onto the parade route who's toting a bag that's 8-by-6-by-4 inches or larger. That is, the bag must be smaller than the iconic 8-by-6-by-4 inch standard.

More tests above, in the confines of City Desk's home bag-testing laboratory. We have some fine measuring devices here, plus some heavy-duty calculators and abaci for determining volume. In other words, these are some measurements to take to the bank when confronting a Secret Service agent. You might even want to print out this blog post before making your way to security checkpoints with bags in tow.

OK, enough preamble.

The results of this test prove conclusively that the standard ACE screw-and-small-nuts-and-bolts bag is fully allowable at the parade route. This bag boy measures a sleek 6.5-by-3.5-by-2, for a total cubic inchdom of 45.5, or about one-fourth the size of the iconic 8-by-6-by-4 jobber.

The other specimens displayed above are just so huge, so towering, so capacious, so mischief-accommodating, so inappropriately out of whack with any standard of parade-route security, that it's a wonder I've even bothered to measure and photograph them. But just know that the bagel bag is 11-by-6-by-3.5, for a total of 231 cubic inches---Al Qaeda all the way. The Whole Foods iteration is 10-by-12-by-6.5, for a very, very unsafe 780 cubic inches. God forbid that some agent down there on Tuesday take his eye off the ball for a second or two and allow one of these beasts onto Pennsylvania Avenue.

Yesterday, we took a look at the very reasonable bag-size requirements imposed by the Federal Security Apparatus (FSA) on those looking to catch a glimpse of the inaugural parade. The skinny: Any bags that you'd like to take past security checkpoints must be smaller than 8-by-6-by-4 inches. Now, whether that means that a bag that's 7.9-by-5.9-by-3.9 inches would be allowable is anyone's guess.

However, it does appear that the classic brown lunch bag (pictured above) may qualify for entrance into what will undoubtedly be the safest 14 blocks of real estate in the entire world, at least on Jan. 20.

Here's how the classic brown lunch bag measures up. You're looking at a specimen that's 9.5 inches tall, 5 inches wide, and 3 inches deep, for a total volume of 142.5 cubic inches. By comparison, the 8-by-6-by-4 jobber has a theoretical volume of 192 cubic inches. But remember: If you read the fine print, the bag you bring in must be smaller than the 8-6-4 version. Though you can never impute, attribute, or ascribe common sense or reason to the FSA, I am going to go out on a limb and advise readers that undercutting the federal standard by 50 cubic inches will qualify as "smaller" and get your bagged PBJ, pear, and granola bar past the authorities.

Then again, a word of caution: The classic brown lunch bag's height could pose a problem. The FSA, after all, has laid down a maximum size of 8-6-4, and one of the classic brown lunch bag's dimensions is 9.5, which could trigger an automatic rejection. Anything could happen out there.

Photograph by Darrow Montgomery

One of the resounding themes of Inauguration Day will be broken dreams and dashed hopes. People are going to be flooding the federal core, ready to celebrate an inspirational new president, only to be bummed out by the intense security surrounding the event. Hunger could be a problem as well.

If you are one of those 2 million-plus ordinary citizens alighting on the scene, you'll need to plan at least two meals ahead. That's because the chances that you're going to, like, get a spot for the parade or hang on the Mall, then go back to your apartment or hotel room for lunch, and then later re-assume your place in history are nil. Just not going to happen.

So you gotta pack lunch and water and snacks.

Yet according to the Washington Post Web site, you can't carry any large bags or backpacks, at least for the parade route.

Here's what is acceptable: "Bags smaller than 8 inches by 6 inches by 4 inches..."

Great work, officialdom. All my friends, all my acquaintances and relatives and colleagues---they all know automatically what kind of bag is 8-by-6-by-4. In fact, I have a good friend who, when he needs a bag, doesn't ask for a grocery bag or a "baggie" or a paper bag, but rather uses dimensions to state the request. Hey Erik, he'll say, you got a ten-by-19-by-3-inch bag kicking around in your kitchen?

Look at the top of this item. The Giant bag is 13-by-16 inches; the Washington Post delivery bag is 21-by-7.5 inches. Which means that the most common bags around are going to be useless to all you parade seekers.

We here at City Desk will keep following this bag story. We want to know who came up with these bag dimensions and why. Also dying to find out on what sort of bag the rule is modeled. Could it be some kind of Ziploc bag that's on every grocer's shelf? And what's with the whole 3-d standard? Sure, bags commonly expand and become three dimensional, but not uniformly so. And whatever you do, don't you dare try to get in with a bag that's exactly 8-by-6-by-4. Read the regulation carefully: It has to be smaller than those dimensions.

This is the story of the inauguration.

Photograph by Darrow Montgomery