Sullivan wrote this diddy right around when I was born, and I've never missed a Christmas Eve in Washington...but I'd never heard the tune before this year!

WTF

This is an excellent song.

Others take it to another level. To wit, At-Large Councilmember Kwame R. Brown, who is distributing to his colleagues custom bottles of hot sauce:

Yep, that label features Brown together with the president-elect, along with the inscription: "OBAMA-BROWN: The Year We Made History!!!" The sauce is actually produced by local outfit Uncle Brutha's—it's their Fire Sauce No. 10—but it carries a custom label. It reads, in part, "A Change to Uncle Brutha's™ is a Change to the BEST!...As an advocate for change in this historic election, Uncle Brutha's™ wants to show its support for Councilmember Kwame Brown and Senator Barack Obama, and help them bring a 'Brand New Flavor' to Washington, D.C."

Brown's not the only one opting to embrace Obamamania. Ward 5 Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr. is handing out framed copies of the following poster:

These wintry credentials, you might think, would make the area prime Snuggie turf. Oh, don't know what a Snuggie is? Well, it's the blanket-sweater hybrid that's supposed to make people more comfy in their own homes during these cold blasts. Have a look:

So, yeah, what you get is a blanket with sleeves. It's not a bad thought–after all, haven't we all struggled to find a way to keep that blanket on us while we try to read or sip a hot cocoa!

But no one wants to look like a cult member, even in their home. And I'd imagine that cult members themselves would consider the Snuggie to be a betrayal of authentic cult garb, because it's made of fleece!

Take a look at the photo above, at the ball game, in the interest of further ranting. Of what team are the people in the above photo fans? The Washington Monks?

Such appears to be the inspiration behind Dynamic Living's "Shampoo-Aide." This is a plastic device that aims to replicate in the privacy of your own home the fab feeling of getting your hair washed at the salon. Here's the product in action (upper right):

Now, a couple of points here. One, just who are you going to get to wash your hair? And just how does that transaction go? Hey, I really like that nice warm feeling when somebody at the salon washes my hair. Would you mind doing that for me after dinner?

And two, part of the appeal of getting that salon hair-wash is that you back up onto a really sturdy sink and you feel really secure there. This thing is a foldable, $70 plastic contraption. Think you're really going to feel comfortable leaning back into this thing. Oh, and one more thing: It's the hose that makes the salon hair-wash. Who's got one of those sitting around in their bathroom sink?

Last December City Paper editor Erik Wemple launched a series on City Desk called "Bad Gift Idea," which catalogued some of the worst things you could possibly give to your loved ones during the holidays. It proved to be one of the biggest features ever on this blog—gathering, at one point, more than 8 million pageviews daily.*

Its sole failing was launching a little too late—I've been getting wish-list requests since Halloween. So there's no time like now to start talking about bad gift ideas. To be fair, The Oxford Book of Death isn't exactly pitching itself as a great gift. But the timing of its publication in the United States—Dec. 15—suggests that it may catch the eye of a few last-minute holiday shoppers. Seems weighty. Looks smart. But totally inappropriate for SAD times.

If you're still tempted, OUP's blog has a few selections of famous last words from some historical figures. For my money (which won't be spent giving this book to a close friend or relative!), Andre Gide's is the best of the batch: "I am afraid my sentences are becoming grammatically incorrect."

* Totally made up. But what media organization is being honest in public about its Web traffic?