Don't Get Mad, Get Even: YouTube is already good for bringing fame and fortune to people, whether they deserve it or not. Now an Arlington man is hoping it's good for bringing justice, too. After someone took a TV he'd ordered online off his porch, Rob Richards posted surveillance video of the delivery and the heist on the Internet. Police say they're not sure how helpful it'll be, but at least the score—"The Blue Danube"—makes for relaxing viewing. +1

Rush Hour Baby: Study after study brings dismal news about D.C. traffic. It's bad; we get it. Just how bad, though, is really only fully realized when some unfortunate woman can't even get through the logjams to deliver a baby. It happened again this morning, around 6:30 a.m., near the intersection of Florida and New York avenues. A 911 dispatcher coached the new mother through birth. No word on whether the baby is to be named Dave Thomas, in honor of the Wendy's that dominates the intersection. +2

Oh Chompie, Why Have You Forsaken Us?: When Discovery executives announced there would not, in fact, be an inflatable shark gracing downtown Silver Spring this year for Shark Week, there was much gnashing of teeth in the area. (Happily, those teeth were mostly of the human, not giant shark, variety.) But only now is there an explanation for the absence of Chompie: The weather got to him. Which means there's really not much difference between giant inflatable sharks and the rest of us in the D.C. area, is there? -1

Don't Throw That Out!: Don't be surprised if retail employees start watching to see what you bring into a store, not just to make sure you haven't taken anything out. Several stores are complaining that they've been hit with fines of up to $200 for stuff customers threw out—from recycling in a trash can, to a couch by the dumpster, to other violations of the trash rules. Remember: You throw it out, you bought it. -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 51 Today's score: +1 Today's Needle rating: 52

There have been six calls for mothers in labor, Piringer says.

Yesterday evening, firefighters and paramedics had to deliver a baby in Shaw. "Mom and baby are fine," Piringer adds.

Piringer says the fire department and paramedics are well prepared for storms like this. During this past Saturday's snowstorm, personnel doubled, and additional equipment and trucks were utilized.  "We didn't miss any calls," Piringer says.

Today, the department has also gotten an assist from the National Guard.

An additional 150 firefighters and paramedics are working today. The National Guard, Piringer says, is pitching in. Six Humvees from the National Guard are assisting on radio runs.

"The calls that we do take are taking longer," Piringer adds. "We are having to park the apparatus and walk. Even when we get to the house, we have to work to get them out of the house."

Yesterday, beer lovers were devastated to hear global warming is hurting beer production. While that news was bad, the Washington Post followed up with a dispatch today suggesting that we can solve global warming if we stop having kids.

Put the two news items together in time-honored “news analysis” tradition and what do you get? A solution! To assure a lasting supply of quality beer, forget about having that The Waltons-style family you were considering. In fact, better not too have any of the little darlings, according to a crack team of researchers at the London School of Economics.

That’s right, if we stopped having kids, we’d pretty much wipe up the climate change problem, according to the U.K. study. And, we’d presumably still be able to drive around in Hummers, live in sprawling suburban McMansions, shop until we drop, and spend every evening at the pub – mugs of a top of the line pilsner in each hand.

I’m not making this stuff up, I swear.

Scientists in the Czech Republic say they think warmer temperatures caused by climate change are hurting the quality of Saaz hops used to make celebrated pilsner beers such as Urquell and Gambrinus. And, they aren’t the only ones claiming that global warming is taking a toll on the brewskies. Last year, Australian scientists predicted that climate change will drive up beer prices by making it more expensive to grow malting barely.

On the baby carbon front, the U.K. researchers aren’t the first to calculate how many pounds of greenhouse gases each child adds to the world. Check out these fun facts compiled by Mother Jones. 

In synthesis: If you want to keep drinking good beer, forget about having those kiddies!