So far, we've heard of at least three snowball fights planned for tomorrow in the District. One near Randle Circle in Southeast (noon), another in a field near the New York Avenue Metro station in Northeast (1 p.m.), and a third on the National Mall (3 p.m.).

Given what happened during D.C.'s last big snow at D.C.'s last snowball fight—remember all those anarchists?—we thought we'd ask Rhys Gerholdt, executive director of CarbonfreeDC, who is helping organize the one in NE, a few questions. Because all of these snowball fights seem awfully suspicious.  

City Paper: In publicizing your event, you said, “While some folks will be hunkered down in their houses clutching their canned goods, CarbonfreeDC invites you to make the best of it by getting together to have a glorious day of snowman making and snowball fights.” What is the real purpose of this snowball fight?

Rhys Gerholdt: The real purpose of the snowball fight is to enjoy the winter as opposed to being afraid of it and to celebrate snow before climate change makes it go by the wayside. Before climate change hampers snowball-making for years to come.

CP: What, exactly, is your definition of a snowball fight?

RG: When people come outside and make balls of snow and toss them at each other?

CP: Do you think snowball fights and anarchy are synonymous?

RG: Only if you want them to be. They can be good family fun. I don’t think anarchy is necessarily good family fun.

CP: You have planned your snowball fight for a “large field.” Don't you think it'd be better to have it at a major intersection like 14th and U NW?

RG: Um, I think that we’ll stay out of the major crowd areas and cop-patrol areas down here. [This location] also allows us to have bigger snowballs and bigger snowmen. My hope is to make giant caterpillars.

CP: Caterpillars?

RG: Sometimes you make the balls too big to actually stack them on top of each other.

CP: Do you know if anyone is going to bring weapons of any sort?

RG: No, I don’t know.

CP: Are you expecting the police?

RG: I’m not expecting the police, but if they want to come and throw snowballs, they’re more than welcome.

Gerholdt is not planning to set any snowball fight world records here; he’ll be happy if 30 or more people show up.

But, he added, “It might snowball."

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Speaking of anarchists, President Barack Obama phoned in yesterday to WTOP's "Ask the Governor," on which Virginia's outgoing chief executive, Tim Kaine, was taking a final goodwill lap. This "Barry from D.C." stunt would have been all fine and good, except that it came at 10:18, when the station was due for its traffic update ("Traffic and weather together, on the 8s"). And then Obama made a joke about traffic! In Northern Virginia! Does he not know how many poor boobs were still out there on the Beltway, trying to get to work, desperately awaiting the next "8" so they could plot (or re-plot) their alternate route?

Just a little heads-up to the commander-in-chief: If you have a helicopter, and, if when you're not using that helicopter, you travel around in a street-clearing motorcade that can get you across the river to Ray's Hell Burger or anywhere you wish in, like, four minutes, even during the peak of the rush, I'm pretty sure you don't have a right to joke about traffic, especially while you're preempting coverage of it. Anarchist indeed.

The Washington Post has another story (triple byline) this morning on the Salahis. City Paper's Jonathan Fischer noted in yesterday's Arts Desk roundup that the Post already had two Party Crashers stories this week. I'm just curious, does anyone not know these people are frauds? Does anyone care about them? I personally won't read past the third graf, which says:

The picture that emerges from court documents and interviews with detectives, sheriff's deputies and two dozen people who say they were bilked is that the Salahis created for themselves a fantastic world of champagne bubbles and fashion, famous friends and jet-setting good times, when, in fact, the reality was far different.

Speaking of a fantastic world of champagne bubbles and fashion, famous friends, and jet-setting good times, the Pope's newspaper has congratulated "The Simpsons" on its 20th anniversary! L'Osservatore Romano praised the show's philosophical leanings and its irreverent take on religion, which seems kind of ironic to me since the Catholic Church I grew up with didn't seem to think anything irreverent was funny. Actually, I don't think it found anything funny.

Homer's religious confusion and ignorance are "a mirror of the indifference and the need that modern man feels toward faith," the paper said.

It commented on several religion-themed episodes, including one in which Homer calls for divine intervention by crying: "I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

"Homer finds in God his last refuge, even though he sometimes gets His name sensationally wrong," L'Osservatore said. "But these are just minor mistakes, after all, the two know each other well."

The paper did say there was reason to, well, not like the "excessively crude language, the violence of certain episodes or some extreme choices by the scriptwriters." Now that sounds more like the Pope.

He probably wouldn't approve of some City Paper coverage.

Have a nice day!

Every Independence Day, the show on the streets gives me giggles and makes me fall in love with my neighborhood all over again.