Above is an ad e-mailed out by the Redskins ticket office this week. As you read this, remember, for chuckles, that just a couple months ago Redskins executive Mitch Gershman was claiming in press releases that the team had a waiting list of "over 200,000."

Sure, the Skins waiting list has long been bogus. But this year it's also become apparent that the NFL's blackout rule is enforced as stringently as its steroids policy.

(AFTER THE BREAK: Where's Chris Cooley in that photo? Clinton Tortoise? Lord Farquaad? Lindsay Czarniak cheers on teams that don't pay her? Is the NY Times reporter on Dan Snyder's payroll, too? Another Have-Nots bowl this week?)

FedExField this Sunday would be a good place and time to test my theory that Dan Snyder has mucked up the Redskins every bit as much as he mucked up Six Flags.

Tickets to Skins games have been overpriced, based on demand, since FedExField opened. I've never been to a game there when tickets couldn't be had for far less than face value. I used to half-joke, based on experience, that if you simply held a $20 bill in the air in the stadium parking lot on game day you'd get mauled by folks trying to unload spare tickets.

But, the bottom is about to fall out of the Skins ticket market, and that could happen this weekend with KC in town: Craigslist had 908 separate ads hawking Skins/Chiefs tickets posted when I checked late last night.

So: Six Flags stock, which sold for $11.92 shortly after Snyder took over the theme park chain in 2005, now goes for 17.2 cents.

I wonder if Skins tickets will be worth any more than that this weekend.

Anybody willing to sell Redskins tickets for 17.2 cents, please e-mail cheapseats@washcp.com.

***

Interesting thing about that photo the Redskins marketing department is using to move excess tickets this week: Two tight ends are up front, Todd Yoder and Fred Davis. But no Chris Cooley. Sort of like the box score to last weekend's game in Carolina.

Seriously, after spending the summer yelling "Look at me! Look at me!" and hoping to become the face of the franchise through any number of off-field stunts, Cooley's disappeared. Cooley had no catches on Sunday, and only showed up in the highlights because he had mimicked Santana Moss's silly first-down routine after a play.

Cooley's used up most of his attention-getting tricks by now, too. The guy's going to have to burn two cows or show two penises to get noticed.

Or, you know, catch some passes.

***

The Skins' lousy season has produced some giggle-friendly new nicknames. Among them:

"Clinton Tortoise," attributed to WTEM hosts Andy Pollin and Steve Czaban; "Albert Buttersworth," all over sports radio; and, the clubhouse leader by several strokes, "Lord Farquaad," for Dan Snyder, which I first saw two weeks ago on Snyder's own message board, ExtremeSkins.com, and has since caught fire.

Damn, that's funny.

***

The New York Times has been writing a lot about the Redskins these days. The Times' coverage of the Dan Snyder administration is very different from the Washington Post coverage.

While the Post and Snyder go at it behind the scenes and in print, the Times' Skins stories, all from reporter Judy Battista, have sometimes been fawning.

Sometimes, they're just plain fictional. (Double-dare you to match the headline with anything in the story!) Battista referenced that latter story, which insinuated for no apparent reason and with no evidence to support the insinuation that ex-Skins GM Charley Casserly was impressed by Dan Snyder's coolness this season, in one of her pieces this week, saying "Snyder was still feeling patient" a little more than two weeks ago."

Says who?

What is it with Times reporters named Judy getting snowed when they cover D.C. matters?

***

Lindsay Czarniak led off her sports report on WRC-TV's 11 o'clock newscast last night with an incredibly enthusiastic segment on the Wizards three-point win over Detroit, pumping up Gilbert Arenas' stats and Flip Saunders revenge. I'd never seen such fervor for a preseason NBA game.

The excitement was catchy, and seemed totally genuine: Czarniak works for Dan Snyder, but not Abe Pollin, and so she wasn't wearing any Wizards' gear as she gushed.

If you follow sports in Washington, I guess preseason is the best time to get excited, before hopes and dreams get crushed.

***

Update on the Road to 11 Losses: We now know there will be no 0-11 season in local high school football.

Anacostia's chance at having the losingest year in D.C. high school football history got waylaid last Friday, as the Indians beat Eastern 36-0 in a matchup of really down programs.

Anacostia, which went into the game 0-6, has scheduled 11 games this year, one more than the standard 10-game season, and far as I can tell, no D.C. school has ever had an 0-11 record. But Anacostia just couldn't find a way to lose to Eastern, which didn't have a football team at all last year because of a lack of players, and so far is 0-4 in the 2009 season.

Eastern, which only has 8 games listed on its schedule, now has its biggest game of the year this Friday when it hosts Spingarn in the latest Have-Nots Bowl: Together, Eastern and Spingarn have been outscored 397-19 and have an 0-9 record.

Somebody's gotta win!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Seems Snyder doesn't really care who he jumps in bed with these days. His partner in the contest, which forces Redskins cheerleaders to put down their pom poms and pick up sponges and go service his radio station's 25-54 year old male demo, was a sponge company called SpongeTech Delivery Systems, Inc.

Well, just as the cheerleader pride giveaway was heating up, Snyder's ally gets nailed for all sorts of alleged shadiness by federal regulators: The Securities and Exchange Commission suspended trading on SpongeTech stock this week because of sketchy reports and non-filings of required documents.

(AFTER THE JUMP: SpongeTech's the Six Flags of the sudsy set? SpongeTech's so messed up it makes Snyder look like a fab businessman? Are Redskins cheerleaders being punished? Is WJFK punishing WTEM in the ratings? Can Mike Wise punish Tony Kornheiser? Is Anacostia/Eastern the Good Counsel/DeMatha of crumminess?)

Here's a release from the Securities and Exchange Commission dated Monday, October 5, 2009:

It appears to the Securities and Exchange Commission that there is a lack of current and accurate information concerning the securities of SpongeTech Delivery Systems, Inc. ("SpongeTech") because questions have arisen regarding the accuracy of assertions in press releases to investors and in periodic reports filed with the Commission concerning, among other things: (1) The amount of sales and customer orders received by the company; (2) the company's investment agreements; and (3) the company's revenues as reported in its financial statements. In addition, SpongeTech has not filed any periodic reports with the Commission since the period ended February 28, 2009.

The Commission is of the opinion that the public interest and the protection of investors require a suspension of trading in the securities of the above-listed company.

Therefore, it is ordered, pursuant to Section 12(k) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, that trading in the securities of the above-listed company is suspended for the period from 9:30 a.m. EDT, on October 5, 2009 through 11:59 p.m. EDT, on October 16, 2009.

By the Commission.

Elizabeth M. Murphy,
Secretary.
Citation: "74 FR 51626"
Document Number: "File No. 500-1"
Federal Register Page Number: "51626"
"Notices"

Investors were apparently already clued into SpongeTech's difficulties. The stock (SPNGE) was trading at $.06 a share when the SEC booted it off the board.

Now that I think about it, it makes sense that Snyder would be attracted to SpongeTech. It ain't easy for Snyder to find a company that's as much a laughingstock on Wall Street as is his Six Flags. For all the mess Snyder has made while running that theme park giant into bankruptcy, perhaps SpongeTech makes him feel like Warren Buffett! (Thanks to Destino for the SEC tipoff.)

***

The director of the Redskins Cheerleaders told me earlier this week she wasn't aware that members of her crew had agreed to wash cars for WTEM. Redskins spokesman Karl Swanson hasn't responded to my query about the contest. But I now have a theory why Snyder would give the Redskins Cheerleaders such a degrading and subservient job as washing cars for sportstalk radio listeners: He's still peeved at the First Ladies of Football for working the launch party for rival radio station WJFK in July.

That episode was a total embarrassment for the cheerleader obsessed Snyder, but with this contest he can show his WTEM listeners that he's back in control of the troupe.

***

Speaking of the radio rivalry: The news ain't much better for Snyder in sportstalk land.

WJFK boss Chris Kinard, the brains behind hiring the Redskins Cheerleaders for the coming out party of Snyder's competition, put out a statement yesterday saying that his station is walloping the bejeezus outta Snyder's.

Portions of Kinard's release:

"According to Arbitron ratings released today, Sportsradio 106.7 The Fan is the No.1-ranked sports radio station in Washington, D.C.  The station signed on July 20 and has eclipsed sports radio rival WTEM with listeners 12+, and in its target demographic of Men 25-54.

In the September ratings period (Aug. 20-Sept. 16), The Fan showed growth across the board.  Its overall share of listeners 12+ was up 38% from the prior ratings period. During the same time period, the station increased its share among Men 18+ and 18-34 by 24% and 35%.

Additionally, The Fan was the No. 1 choice for Men 18-34 sports radio listeners in the coveted morning and afternoon timeslots, as well as in midday and evenings."

These numbers only include about one week of the Mike Wise v. Tony Kornheiser late-morning battle, which provides the most intrigue of all the WJFK/WTEM subplots.

Wise is a radio newcomer; Kornheiser, despite being damaged goods after the extended "Monday Night Football" debacle, is the biggest name and probably highest paid guy in Snyder's deejay stable.

Kinard didn't provide specific numbers about the 10 a.m. to 12 noon portion of the midday slot. If WJFK can win that against Kornheiser and during the NFL season, WTEM's future's bleak.

God knows what Snyder'll force the cheerleaders to do if this keeps up.

***

Reminder: Haves and Have Nots Bowls are both being played on area high school gridirons tonight.

The Haves Bowl: DeMatha hosts Good Counsel at the Prince George's Sports and Learning Complex.

In recent years, DeMatha v. Good Counsel gets people as fired up as Roe v. Wade.

These are the top two football teams around town. DeMatha has an athletic program second to none not only locally but anywhere. Good Counsel has tried to model itself after the Hyattsville powerhouse, hiring several DeMatha alums and coaches.

But though Good Counsel has been able to crack the national prep football rankings in recent years, it has been nothing more than a bridesmaid to DeMatha in the powerful WCAC Conference for Catholic schools. It'll take a win tonight and a win in the WCAC championship game to change the local landscape.

The Have Nots Bowl:  Eastern at Anacostia

Both programs are the vying for the worst of the worst right now. Anacostia is 0-6 and has given up 50 points in four of those losses. Anacostia has a chance to become the first DC high school program ever to go 0-11 in a season.

But Eastern is at least as godawful. The school didn't even field a team last season and probably won't field one next year, and thus far in 2009 has put up an 0-3 record and has been outscored 114-13.

Eastern's best chance for victory here would come if Anacostia is looking past today's game to the upcoming matchup with Spingarn.

Spingarn, another perennial Have-Notter, is currently 0-4 and is losing the points battle 200-6.

Good golly.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

One fascinating (to me) part of the story that I didn't get into for space reasons: While sitting on the Anacostia building over the years, Monk and Mann, joined by Darrell Green, lobbied the residents of Sursum Corda, a low-income housing development off North Capitol Street NW, to turn control of that woeful development over to them. The ex-teammates made their pitch to redevelop the property right after the murder of 14 year-old Jahkema Princess Hansen. They did not get the job.

For both the Anacostia and Sursum Corda projects, Monk and Mann used the Bennett Group, a DC-based development firm headed by LuAnn Bennett, wife of a longtime Congressman, Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.).

Congress gave the Good Samaritan Foundation at least $775,000 in grants for the training center project.

The Bennett Group's slogan, which pops up every now and then on the firm's web site: "The bottom line for Bennett Group is value. For us, that means delivering projects on time and on budget, without compromising on quality."

That adage doesn't really jibe with what went on at the Carver Theatre site.

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Capitals announcer blows off Falls Church High School Reunion for Fan Fest? Anacostia High has chance at Worst Season in DC High School History? Will Eastern and Spingarn keep Anacostia from their date with destiny? The Nats no longer need to consult Mapquest on the Road to 100 Losses?)

There are two big get-togethers in the area this weekend: The reunion of the Falls Church High School Class of 1979, and the Washington Capitals Fan Convention.

Because of the latter, Wes Johnson won't be able to attend the former.

Johnson is the Caps longtime P.A. announcer, and far as I can tell the only guy from Falls Church (full disclosure: my alma mater, same class as Johnson) to ever make anything of himself. The only other alum from FCHS to get the spotlight was a Pizza Hut delivery man who jumped the White House fence and got shot in 1995.

Johnson, a professional voice-over artist when not riling up the home fans from his perch in the penalty box, has been working the microphone at Verizon Center since 2000.

He says he favored an understated delivery when he first got the Caps job, but turned into the over-the-top bellower fans now know and love after a gig for a video-game producer in which he had to play an arena announcer... for gladiators.

"For that job, I put my regular voice 'on steroids,'" says Johnson, speaking figuratively in case it's illegal for P.A. guys to be juiced, "and it carried over to what I do with the Caps. And, I've found the arena-announcer-for-gladiators voice works pretty well with hockey, too."

Johnson will spend all Saturday at the Caps event, to be held at the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center in Oxon Hill. Other scheduled special guests include NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, owner Ted Leonsis, general manager George McPhee, head coach Bruce Boudreau and former fan favorites including Rod Langway, Al Iafrate, and the long-absent Dennis Maruk.

Tickets for the Caps event are sold out. If you want to go to the Falls Church High reunion, however, call 703-471-6700.

***

Anacostia has a fighting chance of posting an 0-11 season. That might well have never happened in DC high school football history. Some DCIAA teams this year have added a game to the traditional 10-game maximum slate that has long been in place for prep football.

DC football has long been a game of haves and have nots, and Anacostia is the only one of the have-nots in the public school league to throw in the extra game on this year's schedule.

Anacostia has gotten off to the kind of start that makes the winless, record-breaking season seem very possible:  The Indians are already 0-4 and have suffered some major blowouts, including a 60-0 pounding from Dunbar last week.

But ignominy isn't going to come so easily:  Anacostia has games at the end of the season against Spingarn and Eastern, the reigning kings of DC's Have-Nots.

So far in 2009, Spingarn and Eastern have a combined record of 0-4, and have been outscored 168-12. Both schools will take big time beatings today. Spingarn faces Dunbar, and Eastern, which didn't even field a football team last year, will get grounded and pounded by charter school powerhouse Friendship Collegiate.

But, Eastern has only eight games listed on its schedule this year, and Spingarn nine. So neither has the chance for Historical Badness that Anacostia does.

Cheap Seats Daily will keep an eye on Anacostia as it makes its way along the historic Road to 11 Losses!

***

Speaking of historic losers: Nats lose! Nats lose!

The 7-6 loss to the Dodgers at home gives the their 100th defeat of 2K9.

The Road to 100 Losses is the The Road Traveled for this bunch -- three years in a row they've got triple digit defeats. So now the franchise has the same number of 100 loss seasons in Washington as it had in all its years in Montreal! (Anybody who says DC isn't a cursed baseball town hasn't seen "Damn Yankees"!)

One of Riggleman's postgame quotes, meant to praise his boys for not getting blown out like they got blown out on Tuesday, is an unintentional thigh-slapper: "That team's going to be popping champagne any day," Riggleman said, "and we're right there with 'em."

Well, if by "right there with 'em" Riggleman means his Nats, running away with worst-team-in-the-majors honors, are within just 39 1/2 games of the Dodgers, who've won a major-league best 92 games this year, then...OK, Coach, you ARE right there with 'em!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

They never followed through on that pledge.

The former Redskins raised millions of dollars, both in federal grants and private donations, after saying they would locate the center at the old Carver Theatre building.

The DC Government gave control of the property, at 2405 Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue SE, to the Good Samaritan Foundation, a non-profit group fronted by Monk and Mann, in the belief that it would house the job training operation.

After initially leasing the historic theater site to the foundation,  the city sold it outright to Monk and Mann's group in 2004 for $255,235.

For years before and after the sale, the old theater lot sat vacant, despite all the do-gooder dollars thrown at it.

Neighborhood leaders wondered why such a prime real estate location, near the Metro stop and on the main drag in the business district, went unused and was left to go to seed.

The Good Samaritan Foundation held at least three groundbreaking ceremonies at the site, and put on several fundraising galas and celebrity golf tournaments, with proceeds allegedly earmarked to pay for the job training center.

Construction on the theater stopped and started many times. And through it all, group officials, including the ex-Redskins, insisted the opening of the training center was imminent.

But it never opened.

And it never will. The Howard Road Academy, a public charter school, now houses its middle school campus in the Carver Theatre building. The school newsletter says it opened for classes there last week, with 130 students.

And, according to the school's business office, Howard Road Academy now owns the building.

Earl Murray, president of the Howard Road Academy's board of trustees, says the school paid "just under $3 million" to the Good Samaritan Foundation this summer to buy the site.

"It's a great location," says Murray. "We were looking to expand in the neighborhood, and they were looking for a buyer."

Neither Monk nor Mann have anything to do with the school, Murray says.

The Good Samaritan Foundation is no longer in operation. Monk and Mann now front a group called the Youth Power Center.

So, what happened to the job training center that was promised to the neighborhood by Monk and Mann in 1999?

What happened to the millions of dollars of taxpayers and golfers' money given to Monk and Mann specifically to make the promised job training center happen?

Will that money be returned now that, by all appearances, the Good Samaritan Foundation cashed out on its real estate investment in Anacostia?

What happened?

Cheap Seats Daily is awaiting calls from the Youth Power Center.

Opponent: A new NCPC report says: "The Commission does not support a streetcar system with overhead wires because it supports the unobstructed views to important landmarks along the cities [sic] streets and avenues."

Proponent: Greta Fuller ANC commissioner for 8A03 says, "I'm not against the street car wires if that's how it's got to run. But I've got worries for the immediate residents in the area, with the traffic they are going to bottle neck us in."

ANC 8A07 Commissioner Lendia Johnson is against the street wires...because they'll have streetcars attached: "I'm not happy about the streetcars at all, the street is too narrow...I don't want to see no wires hanging over no bridge."

Next step: The NCPC is set to review the 11th Street bridge plan on Thursday.

Rerouting, ratcheting expenses, delays—the streetcar project is having a bumpy ride so far. The two lines that are planned—H Street to Benning Road in Northeast and Fifth Sterling Avenue to Good Hope Road in Anacostia—are intended to boost economic development. Up to now, they've mostly created frustrations.

So it's time to get the project back on track, D.C. Department of Transportation Director Gabe Klein said Thursday evening in a public meeting at the Atlas Performing Arts Center.

Well over 100 people turned out to hear Klein speak about his long-term vision for an integrated District-wide streetcar system. Audience members expressed irritation about the lack of progress - and a lack of communication - from DDOT. So Klein promised to keep the project moving forward as quickly as possible and to meet quarterly with communities.

To that end, he's made his chief of staff, Scott Kubly, the new "Streetcar Czar." Kubly is putting a large dedicated team in place. He's hoping to get federal funding.

But the question of how to power the cars is still up in the air, as Jason Broehm, transportation chair of the local Sierra Club and streetcar advocate, explained to City Paper last week. When National Capital Planning Commission (NCPC) lawyers reviewed the Anacostia project back in 2007, they ruled that an 1889 statute prohibits use of overhead wires in Georgetown and L'Enfant City (basically south of Florida Ave. and north of the Anacostia River). DDOT lawyers disagree. It's been three years since the issue surfaced, but the legal wrangling continues.

Stephen Staudigl, NCPC spokesman, proposed one solution—completely new technology.

"This is a capital city. We are very interested in exploring the development of different propulsion technologies with the District of Columbia." he said.

Back at the meeting, Klein was quick to dismiss this suggestion—a sign of the continuing discord between the two agencies.

Klein admitted to "hedging [his] bets" on wires, after one local resident noted that the foundations for overhead tension poles are already being installed along H Street. The DDOT director didn't rule out the possibility of getting the 1889 legislation overturned, and even suggested that this might be on the agenda over the next few months.

As for the scale of the task ahead, one commentator back in January mused:

Obama may be able to resolve middle east disputes, but getting streetcar wire into D.C. will be more than a challenge ... probably impossible.

There is another option: hybrid cars. Klein has been talking to Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) about a model that is currently being developed in Portland. He reminded people that they could use wires in some areas and battery propulsion elsewhere.

Oregon's streetcar project has been hailed as a model to follow. Blighted neighborhoods have been transformed since its launch in 2001. (The Portland streetcar project was so popular that one establishment brewed up the BridgePort Streetcar Ale in its honor.)

It'll still be a while before D.C. can boast the same. According to current estimates, the Anacostia streetcar route will be ready for 2012. And DDOT can't even guess when the H Street-Benning line will be up and running. On the plus side, it leaves time to dream up names for a D.C. beer. Answers on a postcard.

Alan Etter, spokesperson for D.C. Fire and EMS, writes in an e-mail: "There was no fire. Just a pressure-release explosion from using too much of the product."

The man received a "minor burn, but that's about it."

WJLA has photos from a guy who lived in the building. Looks like the explosion happened on the second floor of a four-floor complex.

Staring Jul. 1, DC will no longer issue construction permits for roadway and driveway builds involving coal tar. It will also be illegal to sell the stuff. Coal tar has been used as a pavement sealer for many years but comes with some nasty environmental side effects. The District Department of the Environment says the ban seeks to prevent toxic chemicals from being carried along with rainwater into the Anacostia and Potomac rivers and Chesapeake Bay.

An American Idol upset last night. Don't care. Don't watch it. But today the Washington Blade is saying it was "smear the queer" time in America. Just like when Brokeback lost! Scandal! Sniff!

My idol? Michael Volpe, the 25-year-old guy standing in front of Metro stations with a bright orange sign advertising himself as an entry level jobseeker. I have a soft spot for SUNY Geneseo grads after spending several weekends there as an undergrad way back in the early '90s. But even if you don't, you gotta read Petula Dvorak's sweet little story about this guy. And she took the photo. Is the Post turning into the Current?

Also local in our paper of record: Tai Shan really is leaving this time. Know the real reason why? He gained weight and ceased to be cute. My mom told me the same thing way back in the early '90s.

Moving on to other people who write blogposts:

* DCist has the lowdown on the trainwreck Tweets between DCRA and the owner of the Capital City Diner, the 1940s dining car moving to a Trinidad used car lot (which Tim Carman broke a few days ago on our Young & Hungry blog). Matt Ashburn, one of the partners in the venture, had to drop the car in the middle of Bladensburg Road. Spokesman to the stars (or just for DCRA) Michael Rupert later cleared things up. The foundation was poured wrong and the dining car's on blocks for now. Also on it: We Love DC.

* There's Euro Trash in Borderstan.

* Hoogirl gives it up to Hoogirl for landing in the Post. Also, she's going to Target today.

* The Anacostia Gateway's getting some new buildings that probably won't be boarded up. And, Now's got the scoop, of course.

* I can't believe we missed Cher's birthday. Q Street News cannot say the same.

* The Ride of Silence honoring local killed cyclists couldn't have happened on a nicer evening, weather-wise. I see no updates this a.m., although the peloton went by my apartment. The WashCycle, which organized the ride, has other news, namely the opening of the pedestrian/cyclist bridge over a historically dangerous and often-crossed section of Route 50 in Seven Corners. (Incidentally, this bridge goes to the shopping center targeted by the snipers in 2002. I mean: Could that Home Depot be any safer these days?)

District officials had planned a 1.3-mile segment between Bolling Air Force Base and the Anacostia Metro station. But D.C. Council member Jim Graham (D-Ward 1) and several community representatives argued that it made little sense to run a city-funded line on a route flanked by a freeway on one side and a military installation on the other.

So far, so slow, but whatever--transpo projects are always getting delayed. Because of the route change and the resulting delay, however, three streetcars that the city'd bought from a Czech manufacturer, Skoda-Inekon, are going to have to sit on ice till January 2010.

No big deal, right? No, big deal: We taxpayers are going to be paying on the order of $860,000 for storage of those cars and "related equipment," as Post reporter Lena Sun puts it. Just what "related equipment" are we talking about here? A few wrenches and a vacuum cleaner, perhaps? One of the things that the company does to perhaps justify the cost is that each month, it powers them up and takes them for a 200-yard jaunt on the tracks. Given what I know about Czech electricity and labor prices, I estimate that the total cost of each monthly streetcar outing is about $100 USD.

But let's break down this expenditure a bit more. The streetcars are going to be in storage till January 2010. Now, the period of storage that's triggering the $860,000 bill is a bit ambiguous, considering that the city bought the streetcars two years ago. But the Post story says that the money will go toward "additional" storage costs---presumably those costs stemming from this latest delay.

That means that we're talking about $860,000 for a year or so of storage. Or $71,666 a month. Or $2,356 per day.

There are a couple of ways out of this insane waste of taxpayer money. One is to transport the trains to New York, and put them up in the Mandarin Oriental for the year. With long-term discounts and other considerations thrown in, I'm sure we could block off two or three rooms in this luxury spot for $1,500 a night.

Otherwise, I'd volunteer to be a contractor for the storage and handling of these three streetcars. Just let me take care of them. I'd promise to power them up twice a month and take them for 400-yard walks. For this service, I'd charge a mere $350,000, with a performance bonus of $100,000, of course.

Good morning, City Desk readers. It's Friday, Jan. 9, which means we'll have a new president in 11 days. Psyched? You totally should be--your City Paper is hard at work on a mind-blowing inauguration issue. Another reason to be psyched is that I've been mainlining coffee since 5 a.m., which means this roundup is gonna be a mutha-f'ing doozie. And now some news:

• According to the Washington Post, Big Brother the Department of Homeland Security is moving to Anacostia: "After years of battling historic preservationists, the federal government won approval yesterday to build a massive headquarters for the Department of Homeland Security on a 176-acre hilltop site east of the Anacostia River." (I'm going to take this as an opportunity to plug Snitch Jacket, 9/11-Truther Len Bracken's anarchist/dystopian District novel!)
• On the flip side, And Now, Anacostia has some positive planning news about the restoration of the house at 1312 U Street SE.
• Fr33 Agents (a new political website based in Arlington) reports that Liberty Tavern, a favorite watering hole of NoVa libertarians, "has voluntarily gone smoke-free." It then went on to hosted a press conference at which Va. Gov. Tim Kaine pledged to make all of Virginia's bars smoke-free. Word on the (libertarian) street is that Liberty Tavern just lost a few patrons.
• Michael Perkins (whose tiff with WMATA we blogged about yesterday) posted a great roundup of proposed transportation legislation in Va. The appallingly-statist standouts are HB 1659, which "would prohibit all non-emergency use of wireless devices while driving (even a bike), even while using hands-free devices"; HB 1698, which "requires people who are selling scrap copper and other nonferrous metals like catalytic converters (which contain platinum) to provide documentation that they actually own the scrap metal being sold"; and HB 1661, which "converts Virginia's "cents per gallon" tax on gasoline and diesel fuel into a percentage tax."
• While we're on the topic of transportation, WMATA is threatening to sue Flex Your Rights (we wrote about Flex Your Rights' event at the Dupont Circle Metro back in October) over a servicemark violation--FYR used Metro's "M" symbol on its fliers advising passengers to boycott the bag searches. FYR's response? Bring it on.

That's it for me. Look for an afternoon roundup of weekend events, and I'll see y'all next Friday.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Wrote.

Good morning, City Desk readers. I hope you all had a happy [insert holiday here].  My household celebrated the day by lounging around in tall tees, eating ice cream out of the carton, and watching the entire fourth season of Weeds (OMG! The ending so totally threw me off. Deets later--don't want to spoil the show for n00bz!)

And now some news:

• New Columbia Heights reports on a new gang cruising 14th St. called the "Whipsters"--not what you think, trust me. (Unless the first thing that came to your mind was a variation on "hipsters," in which case you're kind of right.) The Whipsters have open membership on Facebook! (Keep your eyes open for gang signs painted in raw breast milk and crushed berries from local berry collectives.)
• On Dec. 15, Christmas Eve (aka, Dec. 24) developers broke ground for the new Anacostia library. And Now, Anacostia has more info and some floor plans.
• The folks at Congress Heights on the Rise have the final 2008 numbers from the MPD's All Hands on Deck initiative: "MPD officers made 462 arrests, recovered nine firearms, and seized $35,925 worth of drugs. All five AHOD’s netted more than 2,300 arrests. Overall, assaults involving a gun are down 13 percent and robberies committed with the use of a gun are down 12 percent compared to this time last year."

$35k worth of drugs yet only nine illegal firearms? Ya'll know what that means, dontcha? The price of pot is going up, up, up! So much for catching an after-Christmas fire sale on qp's of purple haze...

Btw: Every single one of those 2,300 arrests that was drug-related translates to an adult, teen, or pre-teen, who--for the rest of his or her life--will be ineligible to receive federal financial aid for higher education. Two thumbs up, Cathy Lanier, for perpetuating the urban-poverty cycle!

Photo courtesy of Flickr user indi.ca

Good morning, City Desk readers. Some news:

• OffSeventh has a message for Feinstein and Bennett, regarding extended bar hours for inauguration: "Stick to your states unless you are willing to pay for this whole thing." Edgar says, "I’m sick of these new arrivals trying to smear their smelly poop all over the most excellent party to hit DC since Nixon resigned."
• What is (was) Truxton Circle? Where would it go? (Why) Do we need it? bloomingdale (for now) makes the case for bringing Truxton back.
• Petworth News reminds you that there's an art fair this weekend at Domku. (If you're not up for Scandinavian food, check out Kilroy Cleaners--it's participating in the art fair by offering 5% dry cleaning discounts!)
• And Now, Anacostia has updates on the community's efforts to save 1357 Good Hope.
• Officer Chante Brodie, the MPD's community outreach coordinator for 4D, has some advice on how to keep your home and neighborhood burglary-free. (Speaking only for my stretch of street: I'd have to call the cops every 15 minutes if I stuck to these guidelines.)
• Jesse Jackson Jr. didn't do it.
• Those bastards in Detroit got what they wanted. If Mark Pinsky has anything to say about it, journalism is next on the list.

Photo courtesy of flickr user walknboston.

• Honfleur Gallery: "Fragile" by John K. Lawson "examines the artist's work pre and post Hurricane Katrina," using "mixed media and C-prints."  1241 Good Hope Rd SE
• ARCH Training Center &  Development Corp: "Photo Collide" is a group show featuring "local student and emerging artists," using "black and white and digital prints." 1227 and 1231 Good Hope Road SE
• AEDC Building: "Hyperfotos" by Jean Francois Rauzier features "Large scale digital works by winner of the 2008 Arcimbaldo Award." Corner of MLK Jr. Blvd SE & Good Hope Rd. SE
• 1922 MLK Jr Blvd SE: "The Female Form" byt JF Bauret & Renee Woodward "Compares black and white photography by two artists from different generations and countries."
• Vivid Solutions: The National Geographic Photo Camp Exhibition features "digital prints by students of the National Geographic Photo Camp."

Head on over to ARCH Development's website for gallery hours and more information. Entry to all exhibits is free.