Husbands, boyfriends, and anyone else not particularly interested in French cooking and feminine angst who is dragged to Julie & Julia should at least enjoy one moment: a clip of Dan Aykroyd channeling a bloodied Julia Child on Saturday Night Live.

Meryl Streep does an impressive impersonation, too, but big-girl body language and a parade of nearly high-British "Ooowwhhs!" is not enough to keep this two-plus hour film from turning into a snooze. Neither is its second story arc involving Julie Powell (Amy Adams), a real New Yorker and aspiring writer who, dissatisfied with her life, gave herself the assignment of making all of Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking recipes in one year and blogging about it.

That blog turned into a book, and now writer-director Nora Ephron turned that book into this movie, which is at its best when it's showing Child as she fumbled her way to her calling. Streep and Stanley Tucci, playing Child's husband, Paul, make an improbably lusty and fun couple. Adams, however, is mousy and underwhelming here, though even a wan role and sensible hair can't keep the luminous actress from being unlikable.

Of course, nearly a cookbook's worth of French food is also a co-star, and the film's luscious food-centered moments will leave you eager to experiment. That is, after you wake from your doze. It seems impossible, but Ephron has crafted a movie that is bursting with butter and sweets yet ends up completely bland.

- Terminator Salvation: "I'll be back... again and again and again..." And again. Yep, Warner Bros. thought a fourth film about post-apocalyptic crusading cyborgs would be perfect for summer 2009. This time around, it's 2018 and Edward Furlong's John Connor has matured into resistance-leader Christian Bale. Helena Bonham Carter makes an appearance and Common joins the quest to rally nuclear holocaust survivors and save the world.

- Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: Lovable night guard Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) is back, this time a successful inventor who returns to his old post at New York's Museum of Natural History where the curator, played to perfection by Ricky Gervais, tells him that many of the old exhibits are being shipped to the Smithsonian, for storage or destruction. Daley races to D.C. where he's joined by Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams)—and eventually everyone in the Air and Space Museum—on a heartwarming journey to save old friends and defeat the evil Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria).

- Every Little Step: Wanna know what it takes to dance on Broadway? Filmmakers James D. Stern and Adam Del Deo were allowed unprecedented access to the auditions for 2006's revival of A Chorus Line. The resulting documentary weaves archival audio and footage into video of the '06 the audition process in an inspiring revelation of the love, sweat, and tears poured into casting and producing one of the most beloved American musicals.

- Dance Flick: Yet another send-up of pop cultural detritus, courtesy of the Wayans brothers. The plot in a nutshell: Aspiring stars Megan (Shoshana Bush) and Thomas (Damon Wayans, Jr.) overcome their differences (she's privileged, he's from the "wrong side of the tracks") to realize their dreams. Dance flicks spoofed include Save the Last Dance, Flashdance, and Step Up.

- The Brothers Bloom: Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, and Mark Ruffalo power this "indie" film with a Juno-sized budget. Stephen (Ruffalo) and Bloom (Brody) are skilled conmen about to pull off their last job. The target: quirky heiress Penelope Stamp (Weisz). Together they travel the world in an elaborate effort to swipe millions from Stamp, with whom Bloom falls in love and complicates the con.

- The Girlfriend Experience: Adult film star Sasha Grey stars as a high-end call girl with the clothes, class, and capitalist savvy to back her $2,000 per hour price tag in Steven Soderbergh's film. But staying on top of her game becomes an endless struggle, juggling responsibilities to her "continuing education" classes, personal trainer boyfriend (Chris Santos), and clients.

- Summer Hours: Olivier Assayas’ brilliant meditation on French nationalism and globalization chronicles the death of one generation and the rise of the next. When the Marly family's matriarch dies, she leaves the estate—brimming with coveted works of art—in the care of eldest son Frédéric (Charles Berling). It's up to him to keep his mother's collection intact for generations to come, but he meets more than a little resistance from expat siblings (Juliette Binoche, Jeremie Renier) and disaffected children.

Actually, I don't have a whole lot more to say:

8) I'm flabbergasted that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button received 13 (!) nominations, while the superior and far more engaging Gran Torino got nothing.

9) I think Milk and Slumdog Millionaire are the only films that belong in the Best Picture category.

10) I love me some Amy Adams, but she could have nailed her minor Doubt performance while drunk on the blood of Christ.

So it looks like the Feb. 22 telecast will be another long night of predictable winners and people who shouldn't be there.

Speaking of which, I don't know how I missed this announcement, but: Hugh Jackman as host? Really?

I'm not saying we need to go back to the days of Billy Crystal — or, shudder, Whoopi Goldberg — but the Oscars require navigation by someone who can quickly take the wind out of its sails. (Hey, my metaphors match.) Pretty dresses — and faces, nothing against you, Hugh — aren't quite enough.

But don't think I'll miss one second of it anyway.