Photo by effelarr via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution Generic 2.0 License

Legalize, Or At Least Discount, It: The District's medicinal marijuana program is moving along, albeit not as quickly as some might like. But what about those of us who don't qualify under the strict regulations? Turns out we're overpaying for pot. A study by Floating Sheep published in Wired this month found D.C. pays, on average, $460.70 per ounce of the non-medical stuff—more than anyone in any state. The lowest prices were in Oregon, at $255.80 per ounce. In the area, Maryland paid $436.30, and Virginia $411.90. Somehow we don't suspect Gov. Bob McDonell will be attributing that stat to his allegedly pro-business policies. -2

Bumper For Life: Ward 8 Councilmember Marion Barry has had his fair share of problems with cars, from registering to parking. Now his ride has more existential trouble. Barry drove up to the Wilson Building today with the bumper on his Jaguar hanging off the car. He told reporters he'd been hit a few weeks ago by a stolen car making a quick getaway, and that "when you live in the ghetto, all this happens." At least the car isn't leased by the D.C. government, in which case we'd all be on the hook for the repairs. -1

Power To The People: There's a reason they don't build massive coal-burning power plants in the middle of densely populated neighborhoods anymore. Admittedly, that reason is that the land the power plants might occupy is more valuable as the site of condos and luxury boutiques than as a place to generate electricity. But burning coal isn't the healthiest thing you can do for the people nearby, either, so the news that Alexandria's Mirant facility, operated by GenOn Energy, will close next October is welcome for anyone sick of breathing ash. No word yet on what price the condos that will, inevitably, wind up in the building will fetch. +3

Canned Food Frenzy: Spooked by the earthquake, many Washingtonians decided disaster preparedness was no laughing matter as Hurricane Irene approached, as anyone who made the mistake of setting foot anywhere near a grocery store (or Costco) Friday or Saturday can testify. But since the storm's fury was a little softer than expected, most of the stockpiled food people bought up wasn't needed. No need to binge on sardines or potato chips, though; area food banks say they'll happily accept your non-perishables. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 55 Today's score: +2 Today's Needle rating: 57

Games Without Frontiers: In the mid-1990s, Pokémon video games, anime cartoons, and merchandise were wildly popular, despite the fact that the TV show caused occasional seizures. Now comes news on two related fronts: Pokémon still exists, and the D.C. area is home to one of its champions. McLean resident Wolfe Glick, 15, won the Masters Division of a national Pokémon tournament over the weekend in Indianapolis, and will go on to represent the United States in a worldwide competition in San Diego in August. So what if the Capitals keep crashing out of the Stanley Cup playoffs? At least the region is a winner in something. +1

Alexandria Is Killing Us: It's been 164 years since Alexandria returned itself to Virginia, breaking off from the District. Had that never happened, Mayor Vince Gray would probably not need to involve the Environmental Protection Agency in order to close down a power plant on the eastern bank of the Potomac that may be spewing dangerous amounts of sulfur dioxide across the river to Ward 8. But since the plant is outside the D.C. government's jurisdiction, that's what the Sierra Club wants him to do. (Meanwhile, the thought of sulfur coming from Virginia confirms some of our suspicions about the state.) -3

Going Up: When Metro launched subway service in 1976, it seemed modern, clean, and cutting-edge. How far it's fallen since then can be marked by the cheers that greeted the installation of a new escalator in the Foggy Bottom station on the Blue and Orange lines, the first new escalator to come on line in the system in 15 years. Another eight new escalators will debut eventually. No word on whether Metro's official policy—that escalators are not meant to be walked on—will be changed as a result. +2

Thermal Overdrive: File this under "you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows": As heat and humidity surged today, the D.C. government declared a hyperthermia alert. The wonky sounding name actually brings along some emergency measures, though; 60 cooling centers run by the Department of Parks and Recreation opened. Pools, of course, are already in business. Tomorrow's expected to be even muggier. Can we just fast-forward to October? -3

Friday's Needle rating: 51 Today's score: -3 Today's Needle rating: 48

Or at least it did until 1847, when the federal government retroceded those territories back to Virginia. Along with Maryland, the commonwealth had forfeited territory in January 1791 when lawmakers implemented the Residence Act, creating a national capital city overseen by Congress and comprising a total of 100 square miles, 31 of which came from a sliver of the Old Dominion. Officials had settled on the area after previously considering already existing cities like New York and Philadelphia.

Using the Potomac as a boundary, planners divided the District into two counties: Washington to the north and Alexandria to the south. The latter included much of what today we call Old Town Alexandria and Arlington County.

Taken altogether, the new federal jurisdiction was incorporated 10 years later with the passage of the Organic Act of 1801.

Alexandria earned status as an independent city—that is, a city governed separately from a county or any other larger local jurisdiction—in 1870. What remained of Alexandria County would eventually become Arlington County in 1920.

As with most real estate issues in D.C., things soon became complicated. Talk about returning the land began immediately after the District was created, and the push to do so gained momentum in the mid-1800s. By then, northern Virginia had become a major center of the slave trade, with as many as a thousand slaves passing through the Alexandria market every year.

Rumors that the capital city would abolish slavery—confirmed with the passage of the Compromise of 1850—frightened those in the business. Furthermore, concerns about a growing abolitionist movement in Virginia itself had the pro-slavery contingent pulling for the two extra votes that Alexandria County would bring to the state’s General Assembly.

Furthermore, Congress never really ended up using land on the Virginia side of the river. The Alexandria port faced competition from Georgetown, whose charter as an existing city had been left intact, and citizens of the county felt neglected. From 1840 to 1846 there was a sustained lobbying effort to press Congress to return Alexandria to Virginia.

The state government welcomed the idea; thinking the issue to be pretty clear-cut, Congress approved the retrocession on July 9, 1846. President James K. Polk signed it into law the next day.

Surprisingly, a referendum that September found that while most people living in the city of Alexandria supported the law, a majority of those in Alexandria County did not. This prompted several more months of debate, and the Virginia General Assembly didn’t accept the measure until March 13 of the following year.

© 2011 Michael W. Hicks

The day before, a secession convention in Virginia ratified a decision for the commonwealth to secede from the Union. Ellsworth and his regiment were among the first to arrive in the District to protect the capital city following the previous month’s bombardment of federal troops at Fort Sumter near Charleston, S.C. They also occupied adjacent territory across the Potomac River in Virginia, including the city of Alexandria.

Ellsworth would meet his fate that night at the hands of Marshall House innkeeper and fervent defender of slavery, James W. Jackson. Smithsonian magazine wrote that Ellsworth had approached the inn with only four soldiers and managed to take down its 8 foot by 14 foot Confederate flag, which could be seen from the White House with the aid of binoculars. When he returned to the main floor, Jackson fired his shotgun, killing Ellsworth. One of Ellsworth’s men, Cpl. Francis Brownell fired back, fatally injuring Jackson.

A reporter for the New York Tribune was on the scene and quickly dispatched news of Ellsworth's death. According to Washington History, his assassination sent Washingtonians “into a state of shock over the news.”

Ellsworth was more than just a Union officer. Smithsonian wrote that he worked as a patent agent in Rockford, Ill., and studied law in Chicago, where he also served in the National Guard. In 1860, Ellsworth became friends with Lincoln while working at his Springfield law office and accompanied the new president-elect when he moved to D.C. the following year.

Upon learning of Ellsworth’s death, Lincoln reportedly cried out, “My boy! My boy! Was it necessary this sacrifice should be made?" Equally distraught by their commander’s death, Ellsworth’s troops threatened to burn the city of Alexandria that night. Instead, Union authorities put them to work on building Fort Ellsworth, which overlooked the city, which would remain occupied by Union forces through the duration of the war.

According to the National Portrait Gallery’s current exhibition, "The Death of Ellsworth," his body was first brought to the Washington Navy Yard and later to the East Room of the White House upon Lincoln’s request. Ellsworth was buried in his hometown of Mechanicville, N.Y., where thousands came to pay their respects.

His esteem lived on among the 44th New York Volunteer Infantry Regiment nicknamed Ellsworth’s Avengers. His true avenger, Brownell, later received the Medal of Honor, and "Remember Ellsworth!" became a battle cry for the Union. But both sides emerged with their own version of the war’s first martyr. In the South, Jackson was praised in an 1862 book, Life of James W. Jackson, The Alexandria Hero.

Image courtesy Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division

On April 20, 1983, a magpie that had escaped from the National Zoo a week earlier was finally recaptured, after traveling through both Arlington and Alexandria in its attempt for freedom.

The magpie, which had lived at the zoo since being donated in 1973, escaped through wires "knocked awry by the constant walking of parakeets with whom he shared the enclosure," according to an April 21 report in The Washington Post.

Virginia residents nicknamed the bird "Ivanhoe" during his sojourn into the state, and called the zoo with questions on how to capture him.

As the Post reported at the time:

Wednesday afternoon, phone calls began coming in, recalls zoo official Joan Smith. People described him as "a two-foot-long blue bird with an orange bill that squawks a lot." The length may have been slightly exaggerated but not the voice. "He's very vocal," says Smith. "You would never mistake him for a bluejay or any of our local birds."

Ivanhoe reached Alexandria by Sunday and his size, voice and plummage was quickly noticed by residents, who called the zoo Monday to ask if anyone was missing. Zoo officials told them to feed him oranges, apples or raisins and if possible to coax him into a garage.

On Tuesday, he was still there, springing from limb to limb in fir trees, alighting on the ground to peck at the food people put out and disappearing to some unknown place at night.

Zoo officials attempted to capture him with a trap baited with fruit and baby mice—a "treat to a magpie diet." The attempt failed.

But on April 20, they tried again, placing a bird that had shared Ivanhoe's cage in a trap. When that bird, an American Pinyon jay, called to Ivanhoe, he came over to investigate. Officials grabbed him, and returned him to the zoo.

While zoo officials celebrated the success, one Alexandria resident wasn't so thrilled.

"I miss him," Sarah Gabbert told the Post. Ivanhoe was nabbed in her back yard. "I have pigeons back there now."

Photo by Flickr user Rev Dan Catt using an Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic Creative Commons license

Now That It's Raining More Than Ever: First, we need to preface this item by saying we do know there's nothing more annoying than breathless news reports telling you what the weather's doing. You know what the weather's like! You have windows! That said... Have you noticed it's been raining? The District, predictably, fell to pieces; manholes started smoking on H Street NE, accidents snarled traffic everywhere, the Redskins had to practice in a hangar at Dulles. Nearly half a foot of rain could fall by the end of the day. But the weekend looks nice! -4

Metro Fights Back: Every now and then, another story pops up about how none of the members of the Metro Board of Directors ever actually ride any subways or buses. Now we know why: Alexandria Mayor Bill Euile, a member of the board, was injured today trying to take the train to a Metro board meeting, falling while boarding a subway at Braddock Road. He'll need surgery. Yes, really. There was a time when Metro was the pride of the D.C. region. But now, raise your hand if you'd trade a working, 24-hour, if dirty, New York subway system for our clean, but utterly dysfunctional one? -3

Google This: Readers of Greater Greater Washington noticed updated Google Maps satellite photos of the D.C. region recently—and promptly set about figuring out when they were taken: Between 1 p.m. and 1:35 p.m., on Sunday, Aug. 29. Clues that tipped them off included Metro track work (naturally), farmers markets in Dupont Circle and Greenbelt (which only meet on Sundays), and the lack of some Capital Bikeshare stations installed not long afterwards. Behold the power of crowd-sourcing! There is nothing that the hive mind cannot conquer! (Well, nothing mostly trivial, at least.) +2

Players Win and Winners Play: Glebe Road turns out to be a rather lucky place—Pura Valdez bought her first-ever Virginia Lotto Ticket at a Giant Food there recently, and won $1 million. (Certain City Paper editors have been buying Powerball tickets once or twice a month for years now and never won anything more than a lousy $3!) The store got $10,000 for selling the winning ticket. Valdez says she's been crying, sleeping badly, and not eating since she won; maybe being a millionaire isn't all it's cracked out to be. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 42 Today's score: -4 Today's Needle rating: 38

Alexandria, VA.

7th St. NW.

Alexandria, VA.

Safeway, Alexandria, VA 12/18.

Downtown DC, 12/18.

Park View, NW DC.

Petworth, NW DC 12/20.

I heard again last night from Stephette Hogette. He's the guy who stands accused of being a bogus Hogette.

He sent along a photograph, shown above, which he says was taken years ago at a Redskins game and, he says, proves that Stephette Hogette used to be accepted by the same folks who are now calling him a counterfeit.

While Stephette Hogette's disheveled drag ensemble—he's the one in the middle—does indeed blend with the garb of the folks he's with in that photo, he couldn't name the other Hogettes he's hanging with in the shot.

Perhaps they're unsanctioned Hogettes also! I don't know which Hogette to trust anymore!

(AFTER THE JUMP:Where will the real Hogettes be tailgating come Sunday? WTEM tones down its Redskins Cheerleader pride giveaway? D'Anthony Batiste ain't worth a D'amn? D'Anthony D'Ances with D'An D'Aly? Nobody told the Washington Post that "Remember the Titans" was a load of crap?)

The biggest news from his latest Exclusive Interview™ with Cheap Seats Daily, however, came when Stephette Hogette, a Brooklynite who along with his Hogette name also goes by Steve Rasnikov (real name!) and Snow Rap G (rap name!), told me that because of the vigilante mood among Redskins fans created by evidence-free accusations from other Hogettes of untoward behavior toward women and children, he now wants to be known as "Carmine Fischetti."

By whatever name, he promises, however, that Stephette Hogette's going to show up at FedExField on Sunday for the Kansas City game in his regular gameday costume, and that he'll work the tailgates with his standard bottle of booze and rapped pickup lines.

Meanwhile, the folks claiming ownership of the Hogettes brand are still out to get Stephette to shed his snout.

"We don't want a turkey like this guy running around and accosting people and claiming that he's one of us," Hogettes founder Michael Torbert told me last night. "You can tell by his hat that he's not a real Hogette." (Well, to be honest, Mikey, while Stephette Hogette's hat tells me a lot, it doesn't tell me whether or not he's a real Hogette.)

Torbert says that he and the other real Hogettes will also be tailgating before the KC game in their normal spot in the Green Lot, by the A-65 pole.

***

Dan Snyder's cheerleader pride giveaway has gotten a little less demeaning. Snyder's sportstalk station, WTEM, is now running a sleazy contest for listeners in which winners will get their cars washed by Redskins cheerleaders. Original radio ads for the contest featured two pervy dudes and all sorts of talk about getting Redskins cheerleaders to come rub them down.

The new spots, however, have one guy just asking listeners if they want a car wash, without any of the masturbatory innuendo.

Wonder why the commercials changed. Hmm.

***

AP writer Joseph White verbally nutshelled the mess in Ashburn:

"But here's one more fact," White wrote in a column yesterday, "that pretty much sums up the current state of the Washington Redskins: On Sunday, they had a guard playing tackle, and a tackle playing guard."

And The Great Dan Steinberg™ visually nutshelled the 2009 Redskins with a photo he took from his lo-def TV of D'Anthony Batiste, the guard playing tackle, not only missing his assignment, but turned around 180 degrees looking for the guy he's supposed to block.

D'Ang, D'Anthony!

***

TGDS's co-worker and fellow multimedia maven Mike Wise told his WJFK audience yesterday about being an earwitness to a postgame locker room scuffle of some sort between D'Anthony Batiste and D'An D'Aly of the Washington Times, that ended with the lineman telling the reporter that the requested interview "Ain't happenin'!"

The reporter was then heard telling the lineman, "You ain't happening!"

(Things are gettin' D'Angerous!)

***

Sherm Lewis isn't good for nuthin'. He's already been good for giggles.

The Mr. Irrelevant clothing store offers simply brilliant "Another Set of Eyes" t-shirts. And over at the Washington Post, there's the headline to today's Tracee Hamilton column: "Another Set Of Black Eyes."

***

Greg Paspatis continues fighting the myth of Remember the Titans. Paspatis is an alum of T.C. Williams, the Alexandria school featured in the Denzel Washington movie about a how the desegregation of a high school inspires its football team to win the 1971 Virginia state championship.

T.C. Williams really did win the 1971 state championship, but pretty much everything else in the movie, save the players' and coaches' names, is made up.

Because of the film's box office success, however, the celluloid fiction now supersedes the school's reality. A lot of folks around town have given up their real biography and instead promote the life stories of the scripted characters, and some people whose names were used in the movie, including former T.C. Williams head coach Herman Boone, have profited incredibly from the acceptance of the fairytale version.

Paspatis, who played for Boone in the late 1970s and is not a fan of the real-world coach, has been on a one-man campaign to correct the record for several years now. His latest target is the Washington Post, for a story last month about new Alexandria sheriff Earl Cook. In the piece, Cook, the first black police chief in the city's history, is described as a player on the Remember the Titans football team from 1971 who had started out as a student at George Washington High School but "transferred to T.C. Williams High School after it was integrated." As Paspatis knows, the racial integration of T.C. Williams only happened in the movie.

In reality, T.C. Williams was racially integrated when it opened in 1965.

The only integration T.C. Williams enjoyed in 1971 was an influx of a couple thousand more students, black and white, after the closing of the city's other similarly desegregated high schools, George Washington and Hammond High.

That enrollment boom made T.C. the biggest school in the entire state, which is why its football team was everybody's preseason pick to be a powerhouse.

So when Paspatis saw the Post's Earl Cook piece, he did what he always does in these situations: "I wrote to the editors and asked for a correction," Paspatis says. "I wrote to a lot of people there."

And?

"Nothing," he says. "No response. No correction. They don't want the truth."

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

• Alexandria Police Chief David P. Baker announced his retirement yesterday afternoon, ending a 40-year career in law enforcement.  This comes in the aftermath of his arrest on DUI charges Saturday night, following an accident that sent another driver to the hospital.  The best part about retiring now is that Baker gets to retain his full benefits, regardless of the outcome of today's court hearing in Arlington.

• Sonia Sotomayor is one step closer to joining the Supreme Court.  The Senate Judiciary Committee voted 13-6 to endorse the candidate, sending her nomination to a full Senate vote next week.  She's expected to be confirmed with little struggle, but as usual, party affiliations are limiting unanimous support.
• Bruce Johnson is wondering why so many businesses are leaving Cleveland Park.  If major corporations like Starbucks and McDonalds decide to leave the neighborhood and their space can't be filled for upwards of five years, there just might be a problem.

• Borderstan is busy reporting local crimes, some occurring in broad daylight.  Highlights include a car break-in at 9:30 am and a foiled rooftop burglar on Church Street NW.

• It's no longer news that President Obama and the Democratic leadership are determined to push through their first attempt at health-care reform before the August recess.  When Rep. Frank Kratovil (D-MD) announced to his constituency that he would vote for the health-care bill, they were upset.  So upset, in fact, that they hung him in effigy during a rally in Salisbury.  Perhaps Kratovil should spend the recess in Washington so as to avoid some of these more fanatic citizens.

• The Democrats' honeymoon is over.  After six months of working together in supposed harmony, it's back to name calling and back room deals.  So says Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA), who's blaming the obstruction of the Blue Dogs on Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.  Apparently he recruited them to run while still serving in Congress and has since failed to get them on board with the President's grand plans for reform.  Politics as usual, it's how the federal government runs.

The Washington Post published today a great little story about a parking meter repairman who may be the petty criminal of the year. William J. Fell, 61, a Stafford County resident, is accused of stealing $170,000 in coins from busted Alexandria meters.

"He'd take a little bit each time," Alexandria police spokesman Jody Donaldson told the Post.

The Post notes: "City officials realized something was amiss when their parking meter revenue was falling short, Donaldson said. The city's Department of Transportation and Environmental Services and the Office of Management and Budget worked with police to investigate the case.