Someone over at LivingSocial's Social Studies blog got jury duty—which naturally means they had to write a cheeky guide to making it through the process.

Do you get to watch TV?
No.

Why not?
Because, as a court clerk explains, last year someone complained about the PG-13 nature of what was being shown on the TVs. Since then, the policy has been to keep the TVs turned off.

What was being shown on the TVs?
Daytime television, including Judge Judy, which was thought to have “unfairly influenced” potential jurors, says the clerk.

So then what are the TVs used for?
You will watch a ten-minute “orientation video,” which explains the importance of the jury process and concludes with this gem: “Remember, if you are not selected for jury service today, it is in no way a reflection of your personality.”

(There is WiFi, though.)

Also, apparently former Mayor Adrian Fenty was present on the same day to do his civic duty (and talk about bikes) before being sent home. Is being a former mayor one of those jobs—like law and journalism—that seems to get people dismissed right away?

Photo by JCardinal18 via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution Generic 2.0 License

The big story for political operatives and reporters yesterday was the back-and-forth between the White House and Republicans in Congress over when, exactly, President Barack Obama would head up to the Capitol to make a speech about getting the economy back on track that the Republicans in Congress would then ignore.

Obama had proposed delivering the speech next Wednesday night; the GOP objected, because their own would-be presidents will be debating that night in California, under the auspices of Politico and NBC News. A terrible conflict! (At least for the reporters and editors who don't have any choice but to pay attention to both events; since the speech is unlikely to do much to actually get more people employed, it's hard to get that worked up about when it happens or what else is going on at the same moment.) Fortunately for the future of the republic—as you already know if you didn't have the sense to ignore this preposterous story—the White House decided, once again, to do what House Speaker John Boehner wants, and the Obama speech will now be next Thursday night instead.

But the showdown did make us wonder about what other events here in D.C. might cause such consternation if they were scheduled at the same time. Below, as a public service, Washington City Paper presents a list of the top five scheduling conflicts to avoid. We must all do everything in our power to make sure none of these actually happen! The fate of the world is depending on it.

• Conflict: Washington Adult Kickball Association championship game scheduled for same time as D.C. Bocce league opening week.
• What Would Go Wrong: Supply of plastic cups runs dangerously short; lines to get into bars with rec-league-sponsored drink specials run dangerously long.

• Conflict: National Cupcake Day scheduled for same time as D.C. Tweed Ride.
• What Would Go Wrong: Alarming confluence of precious foods and/or outfits could disrupt the time/space continuum.

• Conflict: Metro escalator outage at same time as overactive Department of Public Works parking enforcement.
• What Would Go Wrong: Neighborhood email lists swamped with passive-aggressive posts about how inconvenienced members feel could potentially be the thing that finally brings down the Internet.

• Conflict: D.C. Triathlon scheduled for same time as Morning Joe taping.
• What Would Go Wrong: Former Mayor Adrian Fenty is fast, but not fast enough to swim, bike, run, and praise Wisconsin's union-busting Republican Gov. Scott Walker all at once.

• Conflict: Hurricane scheduled for same week as earthquake—again.
• What Would Go Wrong: Alas, Pat Collins might not make it through a second time.

Screengrab from YouTube

Doin' It In The Park: Rock Creek Parkway runs, as its name implies, through Rock Creek Park, which is, of course, a national park. So it might be reasonable to expect that the National Park Service, which manages it, would follow environmental regulations when performing work on the parkway. Reasonable, that is, but apparently not realistic. Construction has been halted, and $10,000 worth of work will have to be redone, on upgrades to a 700-foot stretch of the parkway near Oak Hill Cemetery, because a 2006 environmental assessment's requirements hadn't been obeyed. -2

Burger Market: The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed up 423 points today, a 3.9 percent increase that didn't quite make up for the massive sell-offs that occured on half the other days of the week. But if you're still mourning your 401(k) balance—since, chances are, it'll tank again tomorrow—don't forget to look on the bright side. Z Burger will give away free hamburgers on days after the market loses 500 points or more. The bad news: You won't be able to afford to buy food if things keep up the way they've been. The good news: You won't have to. +2

Wait, Another Triathlete?: Here at Washington City Paper, we refer to D.C. Council Chairman Kwame "Fully Loaded" Brown by that nickname, in honor of his choice of leased cars. But now we may need a new nickname for him: Kwame "Adrian Fenty II" Brown. Brown is planning to race in the Nation's Triathlon this year, complete with a 1.5 kilometer swim in the Potomac River, a 40 kilometer bike ride, and a 10 kilometer run. Admittedly, our former mayor would have probably said that only counted as a morning warm-up. But still—is there something in the water in the Wilson Building that makes people get all athletic? +1

Today In Depressing Weather News: The 90-degree streak is temporarily over, it's gorgeous outside, and there's very little humidity. So how can Mother Nature fulfill its apparent mandate to make us all feel like the world is ending? Drought! The D.C. region is officially in "moderate" drought condition—not nearly as bad as Texas and Oklahoma, where lakes have all but evaporated away, but dry enough to damage crops (or gardens) and make water use restrictions start to seem like a good idea. (Which may explain why, the last time we mowed our lawn, the end result was basically just a few scorched pieces of straw-looking mess.) Rain this weekend might help alleviate things; chances are, that'll wind up meaning floods. -2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 60 Today's score: -1 Today's Needle rating: 59

Remember when a certain reformist-minded city administration went around closing stuff?

A group of  fired daycare workers and their union—the American Federation of Government Employees—certainly do. On Tuesday, they filed a $10 million lawsuit against the D.C. government, alleging city officials sabotaged the Department of Parks and Recreation child-care programs they worked for and illegally privatized them, leaving the teachers jobless. The suit also claims $4 million of kid-care funding that could have been used to keep their programs going was "reprogrammed" by officials.

The workers filed a similar suit in federal court about two years ago, but it was moved to D.C. Superior Court for jurisdictional reasons. There, a judge decided that the matter should be taken up by the Office of Employee Appeals, whose administrative judges hear cases involving D.C. employees who want to contest suspensions, demotions, or terminations. One thing that's new about this most recent suit is that it calls the OEA out.

That's where things went off track, according to the suit. The OEA has let the case sit idle for 18 months even though D.C. law requires the agency to address appeals within 120 days, so the workers' attorney, civil rights lawyer Donald Temple, is going back to U.S. District Court.

There, he says, he'll argue that D.C. has now violated his clients' "due process rights" a "federal question" a federal judge should have no problem speaking to.

The workers beef with the D.C. government dates back to April 2009, when then-Mayor Adrian Fenty eliminated DPR daycare services for low-income families because of "underenrollment" and a funding shortfall, deftly handing the responsibility over to United Planning Organization. That was despite emergency council legislation that required Fenty to do a fiscal impact analysis before making a move. He didn't, hence the purported illegality.

The plaintiffs contend that low enrollment and funding problem were the result of a set up: DPR functionaries instructed centers not to accept applications from new families in 2008, so the centers ended up with too few students in 2009. They also cut $4 million dollars of funding from the budget for the centers, leaving it with a $2 million bankroll too small to cover operating costs, says the suit. That allegedly made the centers look unstable. Court papers say it's a mystery as to where the siphoned money went:

According to the Council’s Budget Director, “it appears that Clark Ray (“Ray”), the former Director of DPR and Deborah Gist (“Gist”), then State Superintendent, absent legal authority, agreed to reduce the MOU from $6.2 to $4.5, contrary to the budget approved by the Council and Congress.” To date, Plaintiffs do not know what happened to the $1.7 million dollars which Defendant reallocated. Said reallocation violated existing law which would have required City Council approval. The Council “subsequently learned that the budget for the child care subsidy was reduced again by [Defendant] at some later point, to $2.5 million” according to Goulet, a second illegal act. To date, Plaintiffs do not know what happened to the approximate $4 million dollars which Defendant illegally reallocated.

Office of Attorney General spokesperson Ariel Levinson-Waldman says his office "is reviewing the complaint" and will get back to City Desk with any further comments.

Though a hearing hasn't been scheduled yet, Temple says his clients will soon have their day in court, but emphasizes that's no thanks to the OEA. In a press release, Temple says that OEA, which has had trouble with backlogs in the past, "sentences fired workers to a legal purgatory and condones the District’s illegal terminations." Over the phone, he's even more harsh. "OEA is an illusion," says Temple. "It does nothing." A spokesperson for OEA declined comment.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

On June 26, 2009, hundreds of people waited in line to get their first look at the new and improved Eastern Market on Capitol Hill. More than two years earlier, a three-alarm fire blazed through the beloved Adolf Cluss-designed building, destroying much of the interior and its original vendor stalls, leaving behind a charred brick shell that was originally built in the 1870s. Then-Mayor Adrian Fenty was on hand for the reopening of the market, which went through a $22 million renovation and rebuilding.

Before the fire, smaller renovations had been in the works that would have cost $2.5 million and allowed the market to remain open during construction. After the fire, Fenty sought to rebuild better and more ambitiously than before. The Washington Post reported:

Air ducts were moved underground, opening up a much more dramatic view of the ceiling from inside. The concrete floor, which was cracked, was completely replaced; in the process, severe structural problems in the basement arch and beam supports were discovered and removed. The rat-infested, trash-strewn lower level was restored to life, and an old underground restaurant space, accessible from the street, became the new home for the Eastern Market pottery studio.

The rehabilitated space is bustling today, with most of the vendors returned to their original stalls. Not to mention, the space is now available as a venue for special events, including weddings. (As long as you've got some cash; renting the space can cost from $100 for a community group to $4,300 for a wedding.) Editor's note: Due to a reporting error, this post originally said weddings cost $5,100.

Photo by Flickr user mastermaq using an Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic Creative Commons license

On June 22, 2009, the deadliest crash in Metrorail's history occurred when two Red Line trains collided near the Fort Totten station, killing nine people and injuring dozens more.

The accident, and a subsequent National Transportation Safety Board investigation, offered a harsh assessment of Metro’s lax safety maintenance. That Monday just before 5 p.m., at the height of rush hour, a downtown-bound Red Line train leaving the Takoma station stopped temporarily on the tracks near the New Hampshire Avenue NE overpass. A second train, headed in the same direction, rammed into the rear of the stationary train at 55 mph, causing the last car of that train to break apart on impact.

(For a slideshow of photos of the accident and its aftermath, click here.)

Olga Bryant, a Walter Reed Army Medical Center employee, was a passenger on the first train. She told Washington City Paper at the scene that it had been stopped for about 10 minutes before the crash. For those who ride Metro long enough, such delays become routine. Brenda Payton, who was on the speeding train, told City Paper: "We just felt a big crunch and saw smoke and stuff. We got off the train as fast as we could." Fellow passenger Anastasia McKeown said: “You could tell we hit something that wasn't an animal." Crews had to cut some passengers out of the mangled cars and propped up steel ladders to help others escape the wreckage. (For a photo gallery of the emergency response, click here.)

Then-Mayor Adrian Fenty spoke at a press conference on June 23, confirming nine dead and 76 injured. “We want to express our condolences ... our hearts go out to the many loved ones,” Fenty said. “We are cooperating fully with WMATA. They will then cooperate fully with the NTSB."

Among the fatalities was train operator Jeanice McMillan, 42. Speculation grew in the aftermath of the crash that McMillan had been texting when the trains collided. WTOP confirmed with then-Metro General Manager John Catoe that the rumors were untrue. "We know where her cell phone was—it was not on her. It was in a backpack ... There's not one letter of evidence that our operator did anything to cause the accident,” Catoe said. He added that the train had braked for several hundred feet before the crash.

Among the eight other fatalities were LaVonda King, 23, owner of a new hair salon; Maj. Gen. David F. Wherley Jr., 62, a command pilot; and Veronica DuBose, 29, a nursing student.

The NTSB’s investigation into the June 2009 accident determined that the automatic train-control system had failed to detect the delayed train, The Washington Post reported.

NTSB Chairman Deborah Hersman told the Post that D.C.’s Metrorail—the second-busiest in the country with about 200 million passenger trips a year—had “significant deficiencies in their safety culture.”

Hersman also accused Metro of ignoring the NTSB’s warnings—the most significant of which regarding its potentially malfunctioning track circuits and oldest cars dating back to the 1970s—for 15 years before the crash, according to the Associated Press. The NTSB made a series of new recommendations to Metro after the accident.

The previous most-deadliest crash in Metro’s history occurred in 1982, when an Orange Line train derailed near the Federal Triangle station due to an improperly aligned switch, killing three passengers.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery. For more of Montgomery's photos click here.

On June 21, 2006, Anthony Williams took his final cannonball plunge into a D.C. swimming pool as mayor, his traditional way to open the city’s pools for the summer. Williams' two terms as the District's fourth Home Rule-era mayor began with a splash in 1999, when he made his inaugural dive. In 2006, Williams, who earned the nickname "Cannonball," stripped down to his red trunks for one last dip at Turkey Thicket Recreation Center in Brookland. The Washington Post described his final dive as "vintage Williams—neat and precise with nary a wave as he sliced into the pool."

As far as mayoral traditions go, Williams'—appearing shirtless in public and leaping into a pool—may be the most unique among the nation’s elected officials. The Post reported at the time that his spokesman, Vincent Morris, said, "We are very aware of how exposed he is—just a pair of trunks and nothing else." But Williams’ poolside antics had a purpose: He aimed to draw attention to D.C.’s summer programs.

The bow-tie wearing mayor urged his successor to keep the season-opener tradition alive, and D.C.’s political media was not quick to forget Williams' legacy. His successor, Adrian Fenty, dodged the question when reporters asked if he would carry on Williams' annual cannonball stunt. DCist wrote in 2007 that at one point Fenty challenged NBC4 reporter Tom Sherwood to take his place. But Fenty never took the leap, which Post and former Washington City Paper Loose Lips scribe Mike DeBonis tweeted was an early indicator of his aloofness.

This summer, Washingtonians wondered if the mayoral cannonball was a rite of the past, or if Mayor Vince Gray would put his administration’s controversy aside and dive in. In May, City Paper declared Cannonball Watch 2011 officially on during a sweltering Memorial Day weekend. But Gray stayed dry and fully-suited at the Barry Farm Recreation Center in Ward 8, where he ushered in the summer with the opening of 17 of the District’s public pools. Filling in for Gray, Jesus Aguirre, director of D.C. Parks and Recreation, gave the crowd their Williams-inspired entertainment.

Photo by Flickr user Lee Coursey via an Attribution 2.0 Generic Creative Commons license

Myopia Spreads: Washington Post columnist Courtland Milloy apparently couldn't beat Twitter; he's decided to join it, instead. The Post has Milloy and other writers taking social media training classes, and the man who coined the phrase "myopic little twits" will become one, himself, next month. Milloy says he may use the handle @gigabyteme, but alas, it's taken. What should he pick instead? Leave ideas in the comments. +2

Will Post For Profit: Speaking of the Post, it's become increasingly clear in recent years that the company that owns it is a for-profit education and test prep firm that happens to have a newspaper on the side. Which is why it's not entirely surprising to learn that the family of CEO Don Graham sold about $10 million in Post company stock a few days after regulations on its education arm, Kaplan, were loosened. Graham reportedly helped lobby for the regulations. Company officials say he didn't sell any of his own stock, and that he didn't benefit from the sale. But with capital gains like that, maybe the Post can afford to give its writers decent raises. (Not that we've had any around here lately, either.) -2

John Galt, Metro Rider: Public transportation funding may not be popular with the Tea Party, but public transportation itself? Still okay. At least, that seems to be the lesson from Kentucky's Republican Sen. Rand Paul, a self-proclaimed libertarian and, apparently, dedicated Metro passenger. Presumably he stayed away from the Green line. Still, we won't hold our breath for Congress to help Metro out financially any time soon. +1

Faster, Fenty, Faster!: Since leaving his job as D.C. mayor, not entirely of his own volition, Adrian Fenty has been busy. He's gone to Chile, he's declared Republican labor policies make sense, and he's run some races in exotic locales. And it turns out all the practice—and the weight he probably managed to shed by ditching some of his city-issued BlackBerries—helped: He finished 37th among "elite male" competitors in yesterday's D.C. Triathlon. Also, he's managed to get more popular in the District—proving that absence may, indeed, make the heart grow fonder. +1

Friday's Needle rating: 62 Today's score: +2 Today's Needle rating: 64

In Which the State of Maryland Gets Rich: NBC Washington reports that the state of Maryland will erect speed cameras along a stretch of the Capital Beltway. The area between University Boulevard and New Hampshire Avenue, which is slated for major construction in the coming years, will be the target. According to NBC, "The speed limit will remain 55 mph, and State Highway Administration spokeswoman Valerie Edgar says drivers would have to be going 12 or more miles over the limit to get ticketed." Though the slower speeds are ostensibly for safety measures while construction's going on, DCist points out that this will be a major revenue generator for Maryland. Given heavy traffic, it's pretty hard to get up to 55 on that stretch of the Beltway as it is, but prepared to pay $40 if you don't slow your roll. -3

"So I Can Keep Track of the Visions in My Eyes": Sulaimon Brown's hijinks are gifts that have kept on giving. First, it was the sunglasses. Now, WAMU producer Michael Martinez has remixed choice soundbites from Monday's hearing on Brown's hiring by the Gray administration over Corey Hart's original one-hit wonder. (Bonus, unrelated meme-ification of local D.C. government officials: A .gif of Mayor Vince Gray rolling his eyes, courtesy of DCist editor Aaron Morrissey.) +4

Activities for all Stripes: If you couldn't tell by the arrival en masse of rainbow-printed bunting along 17th Street NW and the rest of greater Dupont Circle, Capital Pride is this weekend. There's a lot going on, but our own Arts Desk has you covered with picks for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Be sure to look for City Paper's float in the Saturday parade, wherein some staffers will be dressed as cupcakes (a D.C. take on birthday cake—appropriate as we celebrate our 30th anniversary). Not stoked enough? Look through Darrow Montgomery's photos from last year's Pride. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 56 Today's score: +4 Friday Bonus Points: +2 Today's Needle rating: 62

With sizzling sun on tap for Memorial Day, D.C.’s political media is turning its thoughts poolside.

And no, that’s not because Thursday’s massive recall on pool drains—issued by the Consumer Product Safety Commission—threatened to chase swimmers away from pools faster than a wayward Baby Ruth bar. Thankfully, local watering holes are safe.

“So far, we're not affected by this in the District,” says John Stokes, a spokesman for D.C.’s Department of Parks and Recreation. DPR's “aquatic teams” (no word on whether or not Arthur Curry is a member of said teams) will be monitoring the drains going forward.

The local press corps has its eyes on the water for another reason: Mayor Vince Gray will officially open the pools Friday at noon. And with the opening comes an important choice.

Will he take the plunge? Cannonball Watch 2011 is on.

Gray’s predecessor Adrian Fenty declined to take part in the mayoral leap, an annual tradition of the Anthony Williams administration. The Post’s Mike DeBonis called that decision a fitting indication of Fenty’s dry personality.

“The refusal to do the yearly cannonball was in retrospect an early and obvious sign of Fenty's aloofness,” he tweeted.

NBC 4’s Tom Sherwood—once Fenty’s hand-picked choice to take the dive in his stead—wondered who will replace Gray if the mayor decides to keep his shirt on.

“I suggest the 13 council members, synchronized,” he offered.

After Thursday’s contentious redistricting hearing, don’t bet on any synchronized swimming. The councilmembers would probably be dunking each other instead.

We’ll update this post to let you know if Gray decides to jump. One warning sign: His public schedule says he will "offer remarks, cut ribbon," but mentions nothing at all about taking a swim.

Photo by Matt Dunn

Victim: Matthew Yglesias, Center for American Progress blogger

Crime: Assault

Media Upshot: Soon after being punched and kicked by a pair of strangers on a desolate stretch of North Capitol Street on Saturday night, Yglesias had blogged about the incident.

Policy Argument: Dense urban development makes it harder for random dudes to sock people. “All else being equal a denser city will be a better policed city,” Yglesias wrote shortly before midnight.

Victim: Marc Fisher, Washington Post senior editor

Crime: Burglary

Media Upshot: The perp later posted a photo of himself and his loot on Fisher’s son’s Facebook page, giving the Postie an irresistible story.

Policy Argument: Cops should take property crime more seriously. “When the system treats such cases as nuisances, it breeds the cynicism that too many of us have about justice in this country,” Fisher wrote last Sunday.

Victim: Mika Brzezinski, Morning Joe co-host

Crime: Mugging

Media Upshot: Brzezinski was hit right in front of the bell stand outside a D.C. hotel—and just before then-Mayor Adrian Fenty’s previously scheduled appearance on her show. Co-host Joe Scarborough brought it up on camera.

Policy Argument: Hotels should watch nearby streets more carefully. “I’m angry at a hotel this morning,” Scarborough told Fenty. “Not you, ‘cause your cops can’t be everywhere.”

On May 16, 2008, D.C. Attorney General Peter Nickles personally delivered controversial baseball tickets to then-D.C. Council Chairman Vincent Gray, ending one of the more mind-boggling standoffs between councilmembers and the administration of then-Mayor Adrian Fenty. At least for that year.

At the center of the dispute were 19 tickets in Suite 61 at the taxpayer-funded Nationals Park that were supposed to go to the D.C. Council as part of a lease agreement with the Nationals. The mayor had his own set of tickets. But before opening day, the Nationals gave the D.C. Council's tickets to the mayor, who without much explanation, refused to give them up. When Fenty eventually doled out the tickets, he skipped over councilmembers he had clashed with. In a show of D.C. Council strength, all members returned their tickets until Fenty released all of the tickets for the season. A month after the standoff started, Nickles coughed up the tickets.

Though that year's ticket standoff was resolved, a similar row awaited D.C.'s elected officials the next baseball season, when several councilmembers and their constituents were denied entry to Nationals Park on opening day, because, as The Washington Post reported at the time, "Mayor Adrian M. Fenty (D) was withholding 19 tickets to their suite at the stadium." Gray said at the time: "It's deja vu. We were assured this fiasco would not happen again, and here we are with no tickets."

D.C. Councilmembers Kwame Brown and Mary Cheh proposed a legislative solution, mandating that all of the city's tickets be auctioned off to help close a budget gap, though that plan didn't go far. In the meantime, Fenty was very much irked when the press grilled him on the ticket fiasco and refused to elaborate, creating more animosity between the mayor's office, and, well, just about everyone in town! The battle, which concluded quietly on May 18 when "a young aide from the office of Deputy Mayor Neil O. Albert handed them over." As the Post assessed at the time, the ticket spat "raised questions about whether Fenty (D) was being petty and stubborn by failing to turn over tickets for the suite designated for council use."

For the 2010 season, the Fenty administration delivered the D.C. Council's full set of tickets in March, with Nickles telling the Post that "It just seemed like the right thing to do...We have reached our semblance of peace and order with the council." (Well, maybe just on the ticket issue.)

So what happened with the baseball tickets this year under Mayor Gray? There's barely been a peep on the issue. The mayor's office delivered the D.C. Council's tickets before opening day without incident, according to Wilson Building sources. There are, after all, better things for D.C. officials to spend their time bickering over—like the budget!

Photos by Darrow Montgomery

Talkin' About Money: After weeks of signaling no tax increases would be forthcoming, Mayor Vince Gray unveiled his 2012 budget with... a brand-new 8.9 percent tax bracket on people making more than $200,000. The budget also includes major cuts to social services, new fees on DMV requests, new parking fees, and a doubling of the Circulator cash fare from $1 to $2 ($1.50 with SmarTrip), among other items. Given how tight the city's finances are, the tax increases seem preferable to even deeper service cuts. Better news: The budget would allow D.C. liquor stores to stay open until midnight, rather than closing at 10 p.m.—which means all the rich people can drink away the pain of paying higher taxes! +1

Giro d'Washington: When District officials announced a couple years ago that the Giro d'Italia—one of the biggest cycling events in Europe—would kick off the 2012 race in D.C., it was a little confusing. Washington, after all, is not in Italy, no matter what various Neapolitan-style pizzaiolos might want you to think. Cycling officials seem to have learned that geography lesson as well; the race will now start in Denmark next year, not D.C. The bad news: A major world sporting event bypasses the District. The good news: No one has to see Gray (whose predecessor, Adrian Fenty, was the real bike fan) in racing spandex. -1

One Branded City: It's always nice when major civic institutions receive awards for thoughtful, striking architecture. And Washington City Paper recently recognized Arena Stage's building, so we're especially in favor of awards for that particular architecture. But the D.C. Office of Film and Television's latest announcement—that Arena would be the "One City Location of the Month"—seems a bit silly. Just another reason to be glad we're not ripping off Baltimore's old slogans; "City That Reads Location of the Month" would be even worse. -2

Pepco Pranked: This has not been a great few years for Pepco; the area's utility has come under fire for service outages, slow responses, and just about everything in between. For April Fool's Day, the Greenwash Guerillas targeted the power company, rendering its name as "Pepcoal" on a sign outside and posting fake ads on the Metro. It's almost enough to make us feel sorry for them—almost. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 60 Today's score: -1 Friday bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 61

Yesterday's Census report detailing the past decade's demographic changes gets major play across the city's media today. The Washington Post disptatches reporters to three District neighborhoods in search of anecdotes to confirm what the new data tells us: The city's white population has grown by a third, while its African American population has plummeted.

With fresh memories of last year's racially polarized election, reporters also go looking for comment from longtime residents, many of whom the Post says find the change "alarming." Leading the alarm: Marion Barry. “We’re going to stop this trend—gentrification,” he says. “We can’t displace old-time Washingtonians.”

But Barry, who served as mayor for 16 years, ought to know better than most that the changes reported yesterday have been a long time coming—and that, in fact, they began at the political peak of his mayorality. And since that time, the District has responded in the same way to each Census. Big-city demographics may be perpetually in flux, but Washington's decennial amazement and agita over its own changes is a rock-solid constant. A sampling:

Preliminary findings of the 1980 census indicate that innercity neighborhoods where young, affluent, mostly white, so-called urban pioneers have displaced the poor and assumed an active political role are likely to play an increasingly important part in city politics.

The incomplete but substantially conclusive data provide the first statistical indication here of what urban experts believe is a national trend accelerated in Washington by the extraordinary rate at which neighborhoods in the nation's capital have been transformed.

-Washington Post, Feb. 2, 1981

An exodus of blacks drained thousands of people from five of the District's six predominantly black wards east of Rock Creek Park in the last decade, but a gain in white population increased the size of the other three wards, according to 1990 Census figures released yesterday....

The numbers raised new concerns about the District's becoming a city only for the poor and the rich, as middle-class blacks leave. Increasingly, observers said, the District's politics will be influenced by the white and well-off, who vote at higher rates than other groups.

"As the white population grows in terms of political influence, you're going to have the possibility of more racial tension," said Howard University political scientist Ron Walters.

-Washington Post, Feb. 23, 1991

The increasing population downtown and in upper Northwest can be explained in part by a rush of development, including new apartment buildings in the business district, as well as town houses and single-family homes popping up on long-vacant lots.

Driving the city's loss was a decline in the black population for the third decade in a row.

Many of those leaving are middle-class families headed for the suburbs, but some say the recent exodus also stems from rising housing prices.

D.C. Council member Adrian M. Fenty (D) said that in the past, many of the city's middle-class African Americans moved out of the city by choice, seeking a better life in the suburbs.

"Now, 10 years later, I think it's quite different," Fenty said, saying many longtime residents are being priced out. "The prosperity of the city is great; we just have to make sure we're doing everything we can to create affordable housing."

-Washington Post, March 31, 2001

Video Killed the Radio Star: The bad news continues for National Public Radio, as another hidden-camera tape by right-wing provocateur James O'Keefe shows executives were aware of the phony gift O'Keefe's stunt was pretending to pass along to the network. With the federal budget what it is (which is to say, bad, if not quite as bad as D.C.'s), this scandal probably means Congress will try even harder to cut funding to public radio. Which means more fundraising drives on WAMU. On the other hand, that means more chances for tote bags for listeners. -1

Maryland, Why, Maryland: Gay marriage will remain an only-in-D.C. feature of life in the region—Maryland lawmakers killed a bill to allow same-sex marriages in the Old Line State. Maryland courts may recognize same-sex unions performed in the handful of states that allow them, thanks to an opinion issued a few years ago, but supporters had hoped to get a law passed to allow them in the state. That'll have to wait until next year. Feel free to come visit the District, though! -3

Vigilante Parking Justice: Since the new administration took over, some former city officials have moved on to new projects; ex-Mayor Adrian Fenty, for instance, is keeping busy giving speeches, working for an accounting firm, and advocating union busting. Former transportation boss Gabe Klein, however, is busy enforcing traffic regulations. Alerted to cars parked illegally in the 15th Street NW bike lane, Klein went down, snapped a photo, and tweeted it at the agency he used to run. In response, the Department of Transportation issued 15 tickets. +2

Are You Ready for Some Football Lockout?: Maybe a stultifyingly boring mid-century federal office building wasn't the ideal place to try to salvage the next NFL season. Talks at the Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service between football owners and the NFL Players Association broke down this afternoon; the union plans to decertify, the first step in what could now become very lengthy legal proceedings before any pro football is played. The bad news: You may have to find something else to do on Sundays this fall. The good news: The Redskins can't lose any games if they're canceled first. -2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 50 Today's score: -4 Friday bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 48