8:01 p.m. Good evening everyone! The ceremony doesn't start for another half-hour, so take this time to settle in, practice your snark, and load up on snacks and DayQuil. (Whoops, maybe only I need that last one. But hey, could make parts of the telecast more interesting.)

8:20 p.m. Starting the montages early with an ode to...accountants?

8:25 p.m. "The lack of concern for Jerry Lewis is horrifying." Funny, Red Carpet Guy. But I'd probably save Judd Apatow, too.

8:30 p.m. Ack! Technical difficulties! DVR keeps trying to make me watch Amazing Race!

Read More "No Dead Blogging Here! Live: The Academy Awards" »

I'm always excited about the Academy Awards -- yeah, there are still a few of us left out there -- but I'm guessing there won't be a whole lot of thrilling and/or shocking moments this year. (Most any upset would go thusly: Oooh, the frontrunner didn't win! Which means...someone or -thing completely undeserving did.)

But for the record, here are my predictions anyway. And tune in at 8:30 when, give or take some DVR-shifting, I'll be live-blogging the entire ceremony. Or at least for as long as my cold medicine holds out.

BEST PICTURE
WALL*E. Not nominated? The Dark Knight. Sigh! How about The Wrestler? OK, I'll stop. It's gonna be Slumdog Millionaire, though between the five that were chosen I loved Milk the most.

Read More "Oscar Picks (No Surprises Here)" »

I'm not going to do this all press-release style, because 1) I've barely had any coffee yet and 2) you can read that kind of inverted-pyramid roundup about this morning's Academy Award nominations in about a billion other publications.

Also, 3) bulleted lists are easier to read but 4) I don't know how to type a bullet in WordPress so 5) I'm just going to stick to numbering my random thoughts as I looked over the Academy's chosen. Here goes:

1) SIGH. No Best Picture love for The Dark Knight or WALL*E. Seriously, guys? You think the fucking Reader and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button are more remarkable, moving, stand-up-and-cheer achievements in film?

WALL*E was the best movie of 2008, period -- fellow Animated Feature contenders Bolt and Kung Fu Panda don't deserve to lick its robot treads. And if people even remember The Reader five years from now, I'll be astonished. The Dark Knight wasn't a perfect film, but it was an indelible one. Best Editing my ass.

Read More "Oscar Nominations: A Quick, Cranky Early-Morning Reaction" »

And the possible nominees are:

Revanche, Austria

The Necessities of Life, Canada

The Class, France

The Baader Meinhof Complex, Germany

Waltz with Bashir, Israel

Departures, Japan

Tear This Heart Out, Mexico

Everlasting Moments, Sweden

3 Monkeys, Turkey

Only two of these film are currently scheduled for Washington releases, virtual shoo-in Waltz With Bashir (1/23) and The Class (1/30). Stay tuned for reviews.