Please Tip The Bartender: When the Tune Inn's kitchen caught fire last month, the prognosis for the bar was pretty good; some repairs, and some time, and it'd be back in business. The staff, who wouldn't be collecting tips while the place was shut? Not so cheery. So the bar held a fundraiser Friday night to send some cash their way. The good news? They raised more than $30,000. The bad news? They needed $50,000 to offset the total time off. Which means you probably haven't missed your chance to give. +2

How Can You Sleep While Your Boats Are Burning?: Boats, theoretically, ought to be better protected against sudden blazes than structures on land—they are, after all, surrounded by water. But that didn't keep a fire from damaging four boats docked at the Washington Yacht Club near M Street SE this morning. No one was injured, but the blaze left about $1 million in damage. -1

Slurpees And Spinach?: The concept of "urban food deserts" is widely recognized as a problem. 7-Eleven, apparently, is here to help. The market chain is debuting fresh produce at stores in Columbia Heights and near H Street NE. No word on whether the vegetables will be kept on the same rotating griddle that warms Big Bites, Taquitos, and other less healthy options. -1

Such A Bargain!: The most expensive home in the District, which—like all expensive homes—has a pretentious name ("Evermay"), sold recently after the asking price was cut in half, from $49 million to $25.9 million. Now comes word the final selling price was a downright cheap $22 million. What's an extra $3 million here and there between gazillionaires, after all? +1

Friday's Needle rating: 42 Today's score: +1 Today's Needle rating: 43

Gone for Good: The Washington Nationals have, contrary to all usual behavior in past seasons, won 11 of their last 12 games, including one this afternoon, and looked like a decent ball club while doing it. So naturally, manager Jim Riggleman decided this was the perfect time to resign. Riggleman apparently was bothered that the team hadn't yet agreed to pick up the option on his contract for next year. It had never really occurred to us to quit our job because our continued employment wasn't guaranteed, but hey—that's baseball. -3

All Wrong: There won't be any more confusion in the future about whether D.C. Taxicab Commission meetings can be videotaped, confusion of the sort that led to two reporters being arrested at one such meeting yesterday. That's the good news. The bad news? That's because videotaping is banned. Nothing like transparency in government! -3

Have a Lucky Day: Stop reading this item, and check your lottery tickets to see if you've won $250,000. Someone who bought a ticket at the 7-Eleven at 11th and U streets NW last week is walking around with a quarter-million bucks in their pocket, but they haven't come forward yet to claim their prize. Confidential to winning lottery ticket owner: Feel free to bring the ticket by Washington City Paper's offices for, uh, safekeeping. +1

Sharks Patrol These Waters: If a shark week falls in the middle of the summer TV doldrums and Discovery Communications doesn't affix a massive marine animal to its Silver Spring headquarters, does it make a sound? Okay, as a Zen koan, that doesn't work. But it's the right question to ask after hearing the news that Chompie will not be installed this year. The shark will be back next summer for shark week's 25th anniversary. In other news: People have now been watching shark videos on TV for 25 years. -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 50 Today's score: -6 Today's Needle rating: 44

Good morning, folks. In case you missed it, oil's still gushing into our ocean, and the trial of Joe Price, Victor Zaborsky and Dylan Ward, charged with conspiracy, obstruction of justice and tampering with evidence in connection to the August 2006 murder of Robert Wone, continues today. Between knives, interrogation videos and a $1.2 million townhouse on Swann Street in Northwest–who needs Law and Order?

Strangers with candy never gets old. A Prince George’s County school bus driver was charged with producing child pornography yesterday. Silly man forgot his memory card filled with naked photos of a 7-year-old boy, reports WaPo. The memory card was left at the counter of a 7-Eleven in Clinton. The boy, identified by investigators, said Scott Smallwood, 27, was his “night” bus driver:

“…someone who “took him to church,” the records say.…The boy told officials that he had “sleepovers” with Smallwood and that Smallwood offered him candy.”

On the downside, venomous snakes are getting in early bites in Fairfax County this year. Copperhead snake sightings and non-fatal bites already abound–an uncommon occurrence. Infant snakes usually start slithering from their eggs between August and October. With all the weather confusion, they're probably just as confused as we are.

So between the stabbings, bitings and late-night bus rides, the man dying from chewing crack cocaine may have had it easy. At least it was painless? But he probably should have stuck with candy.

In other news, Metro is fucking old people over, and do people seriously believe vodka eyeballing is a new trend? I mean, teenagers do stupid things, but come on. Really??? It's about as smart as bro-icing.

The state of the world consistently befuddles me. Have a good day, everyone.

Photo by mateoutah. Creative Commons Attribution License.

"He was chasing his manager up the street with a bat," one bystander said. "Just chased him right up 14th swinging at him."

Another bystander caught video of the incident on her phone. MPD reviewed the footage before clearing the scene.

Officer Quintin Peterson says the incident was an "employee dispute" between 7-Eleven employees. "One allegedly assaulted the other with a baseball bat," Peterson said. "One's being treated for non-life-threatening injuries; the other was arrested with a baseball bat."

Though I saw the assailant repeatedly try to kick an officer in the balls, Peterson added that no officers were injured during the struggle.

A girl of eight or nine stood grinning outside the 7-Eleven.  "This is the greatest night of my life," she told me once the man was secured in the back of the cruiser. She shook her head and her little braids bounced back and forth. Her eyes were wide. "I...I have never seen anything like this before."

Colbert King recently wrote a column on the racial paranoia bubbling up on Cleveland Park's listserv. He followed up our own blog post on the subject. Whether residents there are racist or not we can not say. Those stories only prove that people still live in Cleveland Park. There are always the holdouts.

Video and more, below the jump!

With all the bad news surrounding Cleveland Park, we were a bit scared to visit its Connecticut Ave. strip. Had it succumbed to a sort of lawlessness? Were people freaking out over their 'hood losing its Slurpee machine? Would there even be anyone around to talk to? Had its residents started migrating to the hipper Van Ness, a neighborhood that can actually support a Starbucks?

One thing we did prove: You can still get a parking ticket in Cleveland Park.

A shotgun-wielding man with a bandanna across his face robbed a Catholic University student in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven early Saturday morning, according to a release from CUA's Department of Public Safety [PDF]. The release describes the suspect as a black male, 21-27 years of age, 5’9’’, 160 lbs., and wearing dark clothing.

The parking lot of the 7-Eleven is the same place where a homeless man showed off a decomposing head in a plastic bag and ditched it in a dumpster in March 2007. The homeless man left when bystanders called police.

The head's accompanying human remains along with clothes and a rope were later found next to the university softball field.

The Heights Center where the head was dumped includes several shops frequented by students, including University Liquors, Domino's Pizza, and Hunan Delight.

But over at BGR: The Burger Joint, the results are leaning more conservative. At last count on Friday afternoon, Mark Bucher, the founder and co-owner of BGR, says that the McCain burger is besting the Obama burger, 862 to 848. Does this mean that the national polls and the 7-Election cups have it all wrong? That the race is tighter than everyone believes?

Doubtful. It's probably just a reflection that the Southwestern McCain burger, topped with poblano chili and chipotle peppers, is far tastier. The Obama burger is a dubious meat-on-meat combo: a patty topped with a Vienna beef hot dog from Chicago. Personally, my stomach will vote for the McCain burger every day.