Hot Dogs, Not-Dogs Face Off on Capitol Hill

As you’ve surely read by now in your dog-eared copy of the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council’s “2007 Hot Dog Month Planning Guide,” today is National Hot Dog Day.

And pork-lovin’ Capitol Hill, for one, can’t wait to get its hands on those greasy meat sticks. At noon today, the American Meat Institute will be shilling them out by the thousands to staffers and interns—possibly the biggest paycheck they’ll get all year—at their Annual Hot Dog Lunch.

But—boy, must their face be red—PETA’s scheduled their National (Veggie) Hot Dog celebration for the same day—and will be shilling out vegetarian dogs at the same time, and in the same location!

In a couple of minutes, outside the Rayburn House Office Building, they face off.

Here’s a run-down:

Star Power:
Dogs—unnamed former Major League Baseball players
Not-Dogs—former Playboy playmate, “Foxxy News” correspondent, and tanning salon owner Lauren Anderson

Access:
Dogs—Invitation only
Not-Dogs—Open to the public

Rationale:
Dogs—To celebrate the golden anniversary of National Hot Dog month
Not-Dogs—To show off hot, half-naked women and—er—publicize animal-rights issues

Condiments:
Dogs—Idaho potatoes, Texas Guacamole, and San Francisco sourdough buns
Not-Dogs—Lettuce bikinis

Show up at noon to see how many congressmen and MLB veterans you can spot staring openly at carefully-hung lettuce leaves as they chew on a weiner.