I’m not with the Capital Weather Gang or nothin’, but it looks like you may not want to plan a picnic for Saturday:

Today has been declared “Code Orange,” weather-wise. I’m still not clear why it’s not called something more creative, like “Miserable Maroon Monday,” “Red Hot Heat,” or even just “Code Red,” (what is orange supposed to imply? acid?), but that’s another thing entirely.

MSNBC.com’s local news page reported:

The National Weather Service forecasts the temperature in the Washington region to reach 96 degrees with the heat index expected to approach 100 degrees.

Monday has been named a code orange air quality day, which means high temperatures combined with high humidity may create a dangerous situation for children, the elderly and those who suffer from chronic heart or respiratory conditions.

Unfortunately, I didn’t read the article until I got to work today, meaning that I suffered the 15-minute walk to Adams Morgan in a pair of “just out of the dryer (and a bit too tight)” jeans. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m hoping they’ll stretch to the comfortable fit I’m used to by the end of the day, but since things tend to expand when they get hot, I might need the Jaws of Life to get these suckers off tonight.

Question: when it’s 90 degrees outside does it really need to be below freezing in your office? What’s the logic behind Arctic indoor temperatures in the middle of July?

I blame men’s workplace fashion. If offices would stop forcing men to wear jackets and ties maybe they wouldn’t need the air conditioning up so high. Call me second wave, but I’ve got to assume that men are still setting the standards for indoor climate control.

Note that the U.S. Capitol is the worst A/C freak in D.C. They can kill the global warming legislation if they want; they should just turn up the indoor temperature a little bit for some green brownie points. A Capitol maintenance guy told one Capitol Hill reporter (who keeps a space heater in her office even in July) that the lawmakers would complain that it was too warm and so he sets it as low as it will go – 58 degrees.

Capital Weather Gang’s got a fascinating explainer about the tornado that hit Suffolk, Va., yesterday. And if you’ve always wondered why tornadoes always seem to hit mobile homes hardest, here’s a page about tornado myths.

Some vernal obsessive, no doubt a poignancy fan, has demonstrated his/her enthusiasm for the change of seasons by putting leaves on traffic signs. I saw these ones down by Thompson Boat Center. Any other sightings?

I spend about two hours each day outside, commuting to and from work via bicycle, and on days like this I can’t help but reconsider my raingear strategy. Currently that strategy is hoping it doesn’t rain. I have rain pants, but they don’t seem to really work (maybe they’re worn out?). So lately I’ve been considering a rain cape. These capes are very popular in Britain, and French gendarmes used to wear them while pedaling around. (The French word for cape is pélerine, not to be confused with pélerin, which means pilgrim, or pelé, which means bald. If I bought a cape I’d be a pélerineur pelé.) Thing is, with one of these babies on, I could hardly blame someone for throwing a rock at me. Hell, I’d probably throw a rock at myself if it were possible.

Then again, this is D.C., not really the kind of city where you’re gonna get dogged for choosing function over form.

My dithering continues, soggily.

With Ruth Samuelson taking her first vacation in nearly three decades, Erik Wemple must be a little lonely. Good thing he found his comfort zone: Yelling about the weather, of course!

Got a story you’d like to see discussed on the next Fuego/Frío? Wondering how much money we’re spending on glue stick? Let us know in the comments.

The 10-day outlook for D.C. on weather.com turns up a classic late-winter outlook for this region: Some rain and temperatures in the high 40s, 50s, and 60s. The relative balminess is expected to last through the tail end of that 10-day forecast cycle.

Which means that D.C. may well come out of the ‘07-’08 winter without really braving a single bona fide snowstorm. Sure, there’ve been some dustings and some wintry mixes, but nothing to really test the Fenty administration’s snow readiness.

Linda Grant, a spokesperson for the city’s Department of Public Works, says there’ve been more than a dozen winter-weather “events” this season, but many of them were just scares cooked up by forecasters.

Grant is getting back to me on whether the department’s trucks even had to put their plows on the street.

OK, so just making the rounds this morning in search of D.C.-related news and tidbits. Checked the weather on weather.com. It tells me the temperature in the District is 29, but it “feels like” 21.

Yeah, right. It feels more like 40 out there, especially on the sunny side of the street.

One thing you learn after living in D.C. for a few years is that is just doesn’t get cold here. You don’t really need a winter coat; a sweater will do. I see all these people bundled up out there, people wearing knit hats and shit, and I ask myself, “Are these people in the same climate as me?”

It’s not cold out and won’t be anytime soon, either.

Dear everyone taking time to enjoy the outdoors today:

What a beautiful day! No better time to dust off that exercise gear and hit the Rock Creek Trail. Just one teensy request: Could those of you walking in groups please move to the right when you hear the polite “ding” that signals a cyclist’s desire to pass you? That way, those of us who use the trail all year long won’t find themselves cursing good weather.

Thanks,
The Truly Hard-Freaking-Core

So I’m sure the Joe Krebs crowd was all hyped up about the weather this morning.  There were cancellations, postponements, and, I’m sure, all manner of on-the-spot reports from the area highways and byways.

And for what?

For some rain, that’s what. Funny, thing–I was up late last night and caught the venerable Bob Ryan on NBC4, giving us the lowdown on all this mayhem. In his opening summary Ryan said something about temperatures being “well below” freezing in the District. OK, so then Ryan turns to his regional temperature map. And there, right in the middle is the temperature for the District: 33 degrees. Send Ryan back to 8th grade Introduction to Physical Science!

The scare tactics of Ryan and others affect people. This morning, for example, I went to the grocery mart. No one there. Walked to work. Parking spaces everywhere.

Fellow regioners, if we want to make the top of all those “Best Places to Live 2008″ lists, we’ve got to be more productive. We’ve got to take the weather–the rain–head-on. Don’t listen to the reports. Just put on some clothes and get out there. I’m very disappointed in how we as a region handled this morning. We’re not setting a good tone here. Much room for improvement.

Starting today, the excellent Capital Weather blog now operates under the Washington Post umbrella. It was a genius move on the Post’s part, snagging a local blog that’s newsy and entertaining–and, for a newbie East Coaster like myself, a useful window into the ridiculously unpredictable weather.

That unpredictability speaks to one flaw in how the site is currently functioning under the Post regime. The best part of Capitalweather.com, now renamed Capital Weather Gang, is its “Forecast Confidence” graphic, which lets you know at a glance how much stock to put into the site’s predictions. Looking at the site through a feedreader, though, removes the “Forecast Confidence” graphic. (Those images always appeared in the old site’s feed.)

It may seem like small complaint, but a Web operation as allegedly up-to-date as the Post’s should realize that not including this graphic in its RSS feed is a bit like not including the score in a sports story. Maybe the Post’s keepers are outsmarting us, though; this could be a plot on their part to force people out of their feedreaders and onto the site itself, where we can be bombarded with all manner of advertising.

I’ve been cowering on the couch all morning, fearful of my ten minute scooter ride through the freezing air. When I moved to D.C. last March I bought an adorable Calvin Klein DOWN jacket from Filene’s Basement. It has a fur-lined hood (real raccoon) and everything. Little did I know, feathers don’t always equal warm. I roasted in the dressing room but the fashionable thing doesn’t stand up to rain, wind, anything colder than 35 degrees and certainly not the gale-force feeling of motoring on a wobbly little hunk of metal at 40 miles an hour. So this weekend I pooled all my Christmas checks and bought a water-proof, expedition-ready monstrosity from North Face. I promise to come to work in time to see the most courteous cleaning guy in the city as soon as it arrives in the mail. For now, I’ll just suck it up. On my way, boss.

Even if D.C. ever really got enough snow to make a snowman, I have to wonder: Is there anything more pathetic than one that comes to life via Restoration Hardware?

To wit: Kit ($14.99) comes with “everything you need to dress Frosty in his finest,” including “coal” for the eyes and mouth, a “carrot” nose, three buttons, and a pipe, all carved of hardwood and mounted on skewers. While waiting for enough snow to hold your wood, keep your handcrafted items in the knit cap (surely not made in Sri Lanka). It doubles as a storage bag!

No need to search for stones and sticks. That’s for the kids in Ward 7.