Anyone who’s played the last two entries in EA Sports‘ popular NHL hockey video game franchise knows that—after facing stiff competition from rival game company 2K Sports—the EA designers have rededicated themselves to producing a game that, in addition to being a fun waste of time, is also a realistic simulation of the sport. Because, you know, when your slogan is “If It’s In the Game, It’s In the Game,” realism is kind of important.

Last year, EA Sports introduced the “Skill Stick,” which allowed players to cradle and shoot the puck using the right analogue stick, much like you would with an actual hockey stick. The Skill Stick was widely regarded as the most important innovation in hockey video games since EA’s NHL ‘93, in which players could spill each other’s blood on the ice during fights. (Unfortunately, the blood was absent from NHL ‘94.) This year, the designers introduced an advanced artificial-intelligence system, in which the computer learns your tendencies and adjusts its offensive and defensive strategies accordingly, as well as a create-a-play system that makes players on your own team react the way you want them to in certain situations.

But, as a poster at the Washington Caps’ message boards noticed earlier this week, the crack development team at Electronic Arts has apparently also put a renewed effort into ensuring that the player attributes, skills, and playing styles are as accurate as possible. Take, for instance, Sidney Crosby, who—during his first two seasons in the NHL—has often been accused of taking a dive to draw a penalty.

Special thanks to poster “Hollowboy” for relating this story and providing a link to the video.

Okay, so the other night I’m playing NHL08 on my Xbox360 as the Caps versus the Pens and early in the game I landed a hipcheck on Crosby from Pothier. My controller rumbled nicely to confirm this check. As I continued skating towards the Pens goal my controller kept rumbling every few seconds and I had no idea what was going on. I pulled up a replay and I when I focused on Crosby I see that after connecting with the initial check… he continued to flop on the ice in the other zone! I skated back to the zone and bumped him with Eminger and it “unfroze” his diving around on the ice. I couldn’t believe what I just witnessed so I grabbed my camera that can capture some video and I wanted to share with those who want to waste another 25 seconds of your time for a giggle. Sorry, it’s a little shaky and there’s no sound as I did a quick video capture of the replay.

While fans of mindless run-and-gun shooters sit around salivating all over themselves in anticipation of Bungie Studio’s Halo 3 (set to be released on Sept. 25), the rest of the video gaming world has had Aug. 21 circled on their calendars. Today, 2K Games Boston (formerly Irrational Games) releases its first-person-shooter-and-RPG-hybrid, Bioshock—which some print and Web publications have already declared as “Game of the Year.”

The Bioshock demo, released through Xbox Live on Aug. 12, introduced the game’s storyline: Set in 1960, players assume the role of a plane crash survivor who is floating amongst the flaming wreckage in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. After swimming your way toward a nearby lighthouse and using a transportation device located inside to travel to the ocean floor, the player is greeted by the Art Deco-inspired underwater metropolis of Rapture—a utopian city, designed by Ayn Rand-esque megalomaniac Andrew Ryan, where society’s brightest artists, scientists, and industrialists would not have to “fear the censor,” “be bound by petty morality,” or “be constrained by the small.” In Rapture, Ryan explains during the short film projected on the interior of the transportation unit as you delve further into the dark depths of the ocean, a man is “entitled to the sweat of his brow.” Yup, Rapture seems like a pretty swell place—until you arrive at the docking station and discover that everything has gone terribly wrong.

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It’s no Stanley Cup, but Kukla’s Korner reports that the Washington Capitals organization took home three Golden Matrix awards at the Information and Display and Entertainment Association’s 25th annual conference earlier this week.

The Caps’ Game Presentation department took home the association’s Best Music Video award for their Alex Ovechkin as Superman in-game video, as well as the 2007 Best Overall Video Display awards for the subdivision of hockey and the overall contest.

The Best Music Video Award recognizes excellence in pre-produced video segments that have been edited to music and where music is central to the creative impact of the piece. Washington’s Ovechkin as Superman video depicted the team’s superstar as the comic book superhero.

Here’s the video:

No word yet on whether or not each member of the Caps’ Game Presentation department will get one day to spend with the awards.

“V-Tech Massacre,” the video game.

Of course it was only a matter of time before the Virginia Tech massacre became fodder for some sick fuck. In the game, the player gets to spree like Seung-Hui Cho, the shooter who killed 32 people before killing himself. In the background plays one of Cho’s favorite songs, “Shine” by Collective Soul.

I’m having a hard time getting past the first stage.

Late Monday evening, while lounging on the couch, perusing the Internet, drinking a beer, and watching Stanley Cup Playoff hockey on my 37-inch LCD HD television all from the comfort of my own bedroom, I found myself reading this ABC News report, entitled, “Men Say Bye to the Bar, Hang Out in a ‘Manspace.’”

Sports bars and pool halls used to be the haunts of men craving time alone.

But now, some men are creating guys-only spaces in their own homes.

Tired of being sidelined to the neighborhood pub, basement or garage, they’re creating chic retreats for their enjoyment—and no one else’s.

These spaces include an old water cistern in California, a backyard barn outside Boston, a room in a Harlem apartment—each different, each a “manspace.”

Of the many supposed “manspaces” ABC News would have you believe populate the United States at an ever-increasing rate, the article goes on to specifically mention, uh, the same old water cistern in California, backyard barn outside Boston, and Harlem apartment room mentioned in the beginning. Which is not actually all that impressive a list. It’s the last of those three that I find the most disconcerting, however: Sure, an entirely separate building completely redesigned and/or refurnished with one man’s manly needs in mind could, arguably, make a case for “totally awesome, brah!” But a fucking room in an apartment that somehow climbs above the status of “study,” “den,” or “hobby-area” to earn the dubious distinction of “manspace?” In my book, that screams of Grade A-level douchebaggery. And yet, it’s a crime that—after casting a quick glance around my immediate surroundings—I now begin to worry is one of which I am guilty.

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Many current Xbox 360 owners are intimately familiar with the long list of common technical problems that have plagued the console since it was released in November 2005. Such issues include, but are not limited to, the “Screen of Death” (the result of a fatal error) and the “Ring of Death” (three red lights on the console’s power button, indicating a hardware failure). In early February, my five-month old Xbox 360 fell victim to the less-colorfully-nicknamed (but equally dreaded) “Dirty Disc Error.”

The Dirty Disc Error crept its way into my video-gaming life slowly, popping up on occasion while I was battling one of the Flame Atronachs that lurk within the Corridors of Dark Salvation populating the Plane of Oblivion, or while I was beating a brain-munching zombie across the head with a sledgehammer in Dead Rising. But it wasn’t long before the Dirty Disc Error became an every-15-minutes ordeal. The game would cut out, I would receive the error message, and then check the disc—which was, of course, completely clean. Like a fool, I kept cleaning the discs each time I received this message in the hope of wiping away an unseen-yet-crucial smudge. Then I tried a DVD player lens-cleaning disc—you know, one of those CDs with the little brushes on them. No luck. Finally, I turned to the all-knowing Internet in search of answers.

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