I don’t hang out at the International Monetary Fund a whole lot, but I was there recently for a meeting, and boy, was I in for a treat in their women’s room: free feminine hygiene products! It’s big enough news when those little machines even function, but this one gives it out without even taking your money. I have to admit I took more than I needed. In fact, I have to admit I didn’t need any.

Is this how they make up for structural adjustment? I’ll take it!

You know the fifty-color fliers and postcards good neighbors leave on your windshield? The ones inviting you to those exclusive afterhours parties and special events? The ones that would make Luther Campbell nod in approval?

While I’m not sure who actually responds to this spam and goes to these things, I do know that they constitute an annoyance. How many of these cards have I tossed into the backseat of my car? Too many!

It’s not a shock that people have complained. Southwest residents have been up in arms over them for a while. They’ve started calling them “Booty Cards.” Kinda perfect.

And they got Councilmember Tommy Wells‘ attention. After months of effort, Wells—along with the D.C. attorney general’s office—has been able to at least banish one company from distributing them. Wells, in a press release, calls this a “partial victory” for Southwest residents—and D.C. citizens in general.

Although he considered them pornographic, Wells knew he couldn’t fight them on indecency issues. Instead, his office went after the company over the trash they produce. A smart move!

-”This is just one battle in a much larger effort,” explains Wells’ Chief of Staff Charles Allen.

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Last night, I attended my first ever Washington Wizards game. Though my interest in professional basketball is slim, I’ve been meaning to check out the dance team since City Paper editor Erik Wemple outed them as fat on this blog. Lucky me: Though my seat at the game placed me off to the side of the on-court action, it afforded me a direct view of six members of the dance squad. Throughout the game, I was treated to the soothing rustling sound of their blue pom-pons, and an up-close view of their scantily-clad bodies.

The verdict: The dance team’s collective weight is the least of its problems. Though a mid-game Chipotle promotion features a video of the dance team frantically chasing down a tray of burritos, the dancers looked pretty trim to me. Their hair extensions, though, could use some work; as could their off-the-court fashion choices.

Photo via Don Chavez.

For the house that has everything, here’s a nice holiday wrinkle: “Xmas Toilet Tissue,” at just $3.50 a roll. Perhaps that’s what you need to pay to get every part of your into the season’sspirit. From a concern named Added Touch. I’ll say.

I didn’t think much of it, the first time. Then I began seeing them all over town—women toting two-toned pink Victoria’s Secret shopping bags filled with lunches, books, clothes…anything but underwear.

Old women, teenagers, all shapes and sizes, pink bags in hand. Last week a modest young woman with her head covered by a black scarf. Who would have guessed?

Perhaps, as a female coworker suggests, there are just as many, say, Nike bags doing hauling duty and I haven’t noticed? I don’t think so. So what is the appeal? It seems to be more than utility or ecological consciousness. The bags are toted for a reason, and it can’t be to make me fantasize about the carrier’s lacies. Right?

It seems I’m not the first pervert to wonder. On Yahoo Answers, one respondent thinks it has something to with detachable “crotch panels.”

I doubt it. And so does the clerk who answered the phone this afternoon at the Union Station VS. “I guess it’s just the wonderful color and the name brand that catches their eye,” she says.

Perhaps that’s it. If so, the company has scored an advertising feat. But what if you dig the bags but buy your knickers elsewhere? No problem. If you care little about false advertising, one eBay seller has the bags ten for $9.99.