So I was looking to go out and enjoy the night. See some ladies, get a few drinks–you know, just have a good time. [This was the weekend before the train derailment] Of course my decision making must not have been too good to think that on a weekend, I could do this via the Washinton Metropolitan Area Transit Authority.

I had gotten on the train earlier today and what takes 50 minutes to get to my destination (20 on good day) took 75 minutes. Of course I thought nothing about it because now it just happens so often.

I got on the rail system at my usual starting point and waited…and waited…and (WTF) waited some more. I waited for a train to be built, sent, and put on the damn rail is what it seemed like. Of course when the train came, it was as if it ran through every hood which made me think “I’M SO HOOD” and I don’t even like that song. I swear I could’ve read every newspaper there, soda cans, smelly urine in the air, yadda yadda yadda…

…it was just too gross!

Then I get to the metrorail hub, L’Enfant Plaza and it was like the Pope had pooped in someone’s hat there were so many people. People were angry and hot and ugly.

After being there for like 30 minutes watching the opposite platform’s light blink me into a headache, I decided to leave. I went downstairs and what did I find? A crowd larger than the crowd I had just left.

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This from Metro:

A six-car Orange Line train headed in the direction of Vienna derailed at about 2:45 p.m. today. The third car of train 905, with an unknown number of passengers on board, experienced the derailment between Rosslyn and Court House Metrorail stations. Emergency crews are on the scene. There are no reports of injuries at this time.

Trains are sharing one track (single-tracking) between Clarendon and Foggy Bottom Metrorail stations. The Blue Line is operating regular service.

Customers can expect major delays on the Orange Line throughout the remainder of the day.

This, less than a week after downed power lines near Falls Church shut down the orange line in both directions. Anyone out there know how bad this is yet?

UPDATE: A second train is now backed into the derailed train and is being used to get the passengers off. Shuttles are trying to handle the rush-hour backups.

Metro sent out a release today about a delay in service on the red line. A man was hit around 1:45 on the tracks near the Wheaton station. The release goes on to state about how trains are sharing a track, shuttle bus service was activated, regular rail service to resume momentarily.

Hey, Metro? What about the guy? Turns out that required a phone call. A press officer said “he was alive when they took him” and that the man is believed to have been on the track intentionally.

Our Morning Roundup Update: Guilty. That was the plea today of Silver Spring resident and former Metro supervisor Marcia Anderson who, as part of her plea, agrees to pay restitution for stealing $560,000 from her employer. Sentencing will be in August. The scheme, according to Metro, involved Metrocheks, which have proven problematic in more ways than Marcia. Fed employees were caught last year trying to sell their unused vouchers on eBay. One IRS employee made about $930,000 that way while still claiming a free parking space at work. Metro, master of the obvious, is phasing out the use of Metrocheks this year. —Jule Banville 

Metro Transit Police charged a 20-year-old Alexandria man with stealing three Zipcars from the parking lots of Braddock Road, King Street, and Franconia-Springfield stations. Brian Senia was out on bond awaiting trial on a previous charge of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle in the city of Alexandria at the time of his arrest. He allegedly went joyriding with friends before abandoning the cars. According to Metro, other police departments have been alerted to the thefts, and Senia is under investigation for possible thefts of other cars throughout the area. —Jule Banville

In the past 100 days, train doors have automatically opened four times on the wrong side—the one without the platform—leaving open the possibility customers could watch their step all the way down to the tracks. According to a new report by Meto, that’s four times in approximately 22 million, but still, “even one time is too many,” says Metro Rail Chief Dave Kubicek.

The solution? Drivers are now going to have to push a button to manually let people out and then push it again to close the doors instead of relying on the automatic function. That means the drivers will be hitting that sucker about 216,000 times a day—until sometime next year, when a new electronic component is installed on Metro’s 1,066 rail cars. Guess they’ll have the power to slam the door, too, on all those obnoxious kids who hold the doors instead of waiting for the next train.

Judge for yourself.

Last week DCist linked to a post by Rob Goodspeed about “underperforming” Metro stations. He writes:

Of the system’s 86 stations, 32 (or 37%) had fewer than 5,000 average weekday riders (boardings) in 2007. If the entire system is subsidized by taxes, these stations are the most deeply subsidized. Given the huge expense of the station construction, maintenance, and staff, is it acceptable to let these stations remain underutilized?

Hell no, I thought–high-density neighborhoods with functioning-at-capacity stations for all! But then I noticed that Goodspeed’s list of the least-trafficked stations places the one I use–the one I need–second.

The Cheverly station attracted an average of fewer than 5,000 weekday riders in 2007, and I’ve figured the station was meeting its market–hey, good luck getting a parking spot there after 8:30 a.m. After all, Metro stops that are outside of the city–which are almost by definition high-density places–but not endpoints on the lines are going to get fewer regular commuters. The fact that New Carrollton and Vienna are among the 20 busiest stations suggests that the Orange Line is in high demand for people driving in from around Annapolis or deep into NoVa. Building condos and strip malls near the Cheverly station, true, may make the station busier. But (and, sure, yeah, I’m being a bit NIMBY in saying this) to suggest that stations in residential areas are “underperforming” and must attract more riders is to think of the D.C. Metro map as a chart for some kind of Soviet ideal, where all people from all areas of equal density all equally, happily step onto Metro trains at the same time. Get those trains to run on time, and maybe I’ll even consider it.

I (clearly) have no schooling in urban planning. But it’s not clear to me what harm is being done by having fewer than 5,000 riders at a Metro station. Especially without evidence of who or what, exactly, is “underperforming.”

Metro is installing shields on some of its buses to protect drivers, reports Brittany Morehouse from News 9. And given these stats from Metro, the news comes as no surprise:

According to a Feb. 14 press release, the number of assaults on drivers rose from 36 in 2002 to 84 in 2007. The majority–56–were in D.C., 21 were in Maryland and seven occurred in Virginia. Drivers have been spit on, attacked with bricks, sticks, poles, guns and knives. Riders have even attempted to undress an operator.

“Five public transit buses will have plastic protective shields installed around the driver’s seat area. The new vehicles will be tested over the next six months to see if they help deter assaults,” according to the News 9 story.

Update: Okay, so I just realized Erik Wemple previously reported much of this news. For another dose of why protection is necessary, check out his post.

Interestingly middle-named New York Times reporter and Chinese-food scholar Jennifer 8. Lee takes on Metro’s billboards promising rat-free transit in a post on the Times‘ City Room blog. “Unlike some subway systems (which will remain nameless), you don’t see rats the size of house cats roaming the Metro,” the ad reads.

Lee figures this is meant as an attack on New York’s transit system, and she’s probably right, though a Metro spokesperson denies it. Fine, whatever–inventing petty squabbles are what blog posts are for. To that end, can’t a Times star come up with better trash-talk than this?

“Washington’s system may be rat-free, but its subway map also has all the sophistication of Fisher Price.”

At the moment, new fare-rate boards in Metro stations are covered in butcher paper with an attached note reading:

“Please keep cover until Sunday, Jan. 6.”

Thanks, Metro. I’ll be huddled in the basement till Monday.

Give some respect to reporters. We have to deal with a lot of hazardous stuff. Like IEDs in Iraq. Like having to sit through a Romney stump speech. Like braving the Woodley Park metro escalators.

While on assignment the last few days, I had to do some serious handrail gripping.

The escalators were just plain scary. One was broken. And another seem to shudder at five second intervals. It also emitted a sound not unlike a dying whale or an avant jazz group warming up.

And once I arrived at the metro bubble, I smelled something burning.

I overheard some elementary school kids at the Columbia Heights metro stop last night. One kid put another kid in his place with something like: “Shut up, vampire eyebrows!”

I really wanted to see these vampire eyebrows. But when I turned around, all the kids in the group appeared to have “normal” eyebrows.

Fuck. The Board just approved the largest fare increases in its history. Read the story here. No word on whether discounts will be awarded when your bus driver kills a pedestrian or two.

The Washington Post reports this morning that the Metro board is meeting probably right now(!) to debate fee increases for parking as well as subway and bus fares. The story’s second graph pretty much sums things up:

“Board members have at least two proposals before them, and additional ones may be offered at the last minute as they try to find compromise. The fare and fee proposals are scheduled to be discussed at the board’s finance committee meeting, scheduled for this morning. But a vote must be taken during the full board meeting that follows committee sessions before any fare plan can be put into effect. The proposal presented to the public during hearings last month drew more than 400 comments from riders, many of whom said the proposed hikes in subway fares and parking charges were too high and not justified by unreliable service.”

The Post also reports that labor leaders are getting defensive about the hiring practices at the new Nats stadium. We reported out the issue a while back. You can read the fine story by the beloved Joe Eaton–right here.

Prince of Petworth has a picture of one of the ugliest row houses we’ve ever seen.