Dan Snyder’s can-you-spare-a-buck? theme park chain, Six Flags, is making huge strides toward its inevitable resting place in Chapter 11.

Early in Monday’s trading, a share of SIX was selling for $1.14. In a season of historic lows, this is but another.

When Snyder’s investment group, which included his Redskins staffers Vinny Cerrato and Karl Swanson, took over Six Flags in 2005, they claimed to control 10,921,300 shares of company stock.

By March 2006, Six Flags’ stock was trading for 11.93 per share.

That put the value of the co-workers’ investment at $130,291,109.

With today’s poopy price, the pool’s value had sunk to $12,450,282.

Damn, I’m tired of carrying the one for these guys, so let’s just say the Redskins Park traders are down about $118 million.

This keeps up, and Snyder and his staffers are going to lose some serious money.

And no matter what you read elsewhere: Six Flags stock was already in freefall last week, so the company can’t blame its dire straits on the decapitation of a visitor to its Six Flags Over Georgia park over the weekend.

That is unsettling, however.

Keep the dial right here for breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Dan Snyder’s beggarly theme park chain, Six Flags, broke another record yesterday.

Not a good record, alas.

During Thursday’s trading on Wall Street, a share of stock in Six Flags (SIX) was going for $1.42.

That’s the lowest price in the stock’s history.

And this after Six Flags management has thrown all sorts of tricks at potential customers and investors this season — discounted admissions, debt reorganizations, etc… — trying to convince The Street that Captain Dan ain’t steering this ship into an iceberg.

Snyder took over the Six Flags board of directors in late 2005, after writing a letter to stockholders blasting the then-current management of Six Flags. Among other things, Snyder wrote that that investors would be “better off hiding their money under a mattress” than they would buying stock in the company without him leading it.

Stockholders bought Snyder’s pitch and voted out the old regime. Snyder installed himself as chairman of the board.

Snyder filed papers with the SEC in 2005 saying that his investment group, known as Red Zone LLC and made up of Redskins officials, including “Vincent Cerrato” and Karl Swanson, controlled 10,921,300 shares of Six Flags stock.

Shortly after the coup, stock in the company hit $11.93 a share, according to the database of MSN Money.

That would mean that Snyder and his Redskins Park posse had a kitty worth $130,291,109.

As of yesterday afternoon, assuming everybody held onto their shares, the office pool’s value was down to $15,508,246.

So during Snyder’s reign, the co-workers had lost $114,782,863.

Oh lordy.

I’m no Gordon Gekko, but from crunching these numbers, I think that means folks at Redskins Park would have been better off hiding their money under a mattress than investing with the boss.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Dan Snyder’s pauperized theme park chain, Six Flags, announced yesterday that Robbie Knievel will jump a lot of cars on a motorcycle at Six Flags- St. Louis next week.

Robbie, 46, is the offspring of Evel Knievel, the dead jumpsuit wearing loon who broke pretty much every bone in his body twice or so on live TV as America watched during the 1970s. The younger Knievel started his own career in motorcycle jumping at 7. At Six Flags, he will attempt to leap over 25 Dodges, which is being billed as a personal record.

So he knows thrillseeking. But when asked if he would use any money made from his Six Flags jump to invest in Snyder’s company, Knievel, who once jumped the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle, turned ashen and started sweating and peed himself while yelling “Six Flags stock? Are you crazy? That risky!”*

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

*Question and answer and entire scenario, including the pee pee part, totally made up for chuckles. But Knievel really is jumping at Six Flags next week.

Dan Snyder’s destitutional theme park chain, Six Flags, got a rare boost with the publication of an article in Slate that — get this! — didn’t come right out and say the company was doomed.

It’s about time somebody told that side of the story.

But, alas, in the newspapering business, there’s a fine line between “counter-intuitive” and “O Really?”

And darned if that boundary didn’t get as blurry as breakfast with Amy Winehouse when the Slate piece, in attempting to paint Snyder’s playgrounds as affordable for the common man, alleged: “A typical Six Flags visitor in 2007 spent $36 for the day, including parking, the price of a ticket, and meals.“

The “O Really” factor: The standard adult admission price for most Six Flags parks last year was a lot more than $36. For example, Six Flags America in Largo, our local outpost, had a base charge of $49.99 per person.

To be fair, Slate’s reported average expenditures could be accurate. There are all sorts of online discounts and coupons available to patrons wanting to save some bucks on the general admission.

But for all the entry discounts, this is a chain that bans park-goers from bringing in any sustenance or beverages, and where soft drinks cost $4, and where parking can set you back $15-$30.

And Six Flags also offers premium upgrades where visitors can cut in front of the hoi polloi and hop right on a ride like, say, the Superman Tower of Power — for $249 per person.

That’s just how Dan Snyder rolls. Making that average expenditure even more suspect, the Slate story also claimed that “per capita guest spending [at Six Flags] was up 13 percent” in the last two years.

So, again, these figures might be right. It’d be easier to tell if the piece said where that $36 average came from.

Perhaps: From the same folks who claim to have a season ticket waiting list with “more than 200,000” names on it?

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Voting has slowed to almost nothingness in two Dan Snyder popularity polls, so City Desk is ready to declare that Snyder is beloved. And hated.

On the message board Snyder owns,extremeskins.com, members were asked to approve or disapprove of his “handling of the Redskins over the past few months.”

The balloting was made public, so everybody could see who voted yay or nay. Since Snyder’s moderators have a habit of berating his critics, or worse, that surely skewed voting.

Even so, and forgetting the home field advantage and the bogusly limited scope of the polling question — what can an owner do in May and June? — Snyder did very well: As of this morning, he was getting an 85 percent favorable rating from extremeskins.com. 

Snyder hasn’t fared so great outside his house. Sports blogging icon and my regular Friday morning date Dan Steinberg also ran a Snyder poll on his DC Sports Bog. 

There, the vote was private, and voters were asked simply to “Approve” or “Disapprove” of Snyder.

At last check, Bad Snyder was pounding Good Snyder 57-42.

It could have been worse. Snyder was really getting crushed early in the Post’s polling. But a windfall of positivity came into the Bog after Art Mills, the enforcer/propagandist at extremeskins.com, started a thread on Snyder’s site directing members to go vote.

Last time we talked, Mills, who is equal parts writing talent and full-of-crapness, told me he was paid by the team to write. Yet, far as I can tell, he won’t divulge being on the Redskins payroll to his flock at extremeskins.com.

Just tell ‘em, Art.

Dan Snyder’s tuckered theme park chain, Six Flags, stands accused of running a racist ad campaign.

 A new series of commercials for Six Flags features an Asian guy shouting “More Flags! More Fun!” and other things about flags. The spots were produced by Red Line Films, a company that made the 2005 boxing ”moviementary,” “Cinderella Man,” and other programming for ESPN, the former employer of Snyder’s partner Mark Shapiro.

Six Flags likes to keep the identity of its mascots under wraps, but it turns out Snyder’s new barker is played by a Japanese actor named Yutaka Takeuchi.

For those into counting degrees of separation: Before ever screaming about flags, Takeuchi had a bit part in “The Last Samurai,” a 2003 feature starring Snyder’s top Hollywood connection, Tom Cruise.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Dan Snyder’s infirm theme park chain, Six Flags, announced not long ago it was cutting back on its advertising outsourcing as part of a budget slash.

Every penny helps, since Six Flags is over $2 billion-with-a-b in debt.

But perhaps the company coulda used those extra eyeballs looking at the ads produced for this year’s high season before letting ‘em hit tv sets. Because the spots they ended up with — as part of a campaign featuring an Asian guy with some sort of accent screaming “More Flags! More Fun!” — are being called things way worse than dumb on blogs and message boards.

Like: “Racist.”

Among those tagging the Six Flags ad campaign with the R word are bloggers Angry Chinese Guy and Angry Asian Man.

Here’s part of Angry (and, judging solely by his sporadic blogging, Kinda Lazy) Chinese Guy’s takedown of the Six Flags spots:

The Asian guy, of course, has an accent and does not properly pronounce the words correctly. He doesn’t even speak in complete sentences! He just barks out short phrases. I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty damn racist…We want more Asian representation in the media, but damn if this is all we’re going to get, then forget it. The saying goes something like “Bad publicity is still publicity”…fuck that. This only furthers the stereotypes of Asian people and we really don’t need this. This damn commercial puts us back a few years. It tries to play off of the Japanese commercials where the guy pops up (just as this guy does) and sells a product. How often have we seen this type of satire? LOTS. Now Six Flags is taking this ignorance nationwide, helping to deliver this stereotypical portrayal of Asians into households everywhere!

The “More Flags!” screamer is the first pitchman Six Flags has had since Mr. Six, who was deep sixed by Snyder shortly after he took the chain’s reins in 2005.

Nobody ever called Mr. Six racist. “Pedophile” was thrown his way a lot, however.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

An early sign of Dan Snyder’s Acquisition Deficit Disorder came shortly after he took over the Redskins, when he purchased the DC franchise rights to the Arena Football League.

He never followed through on his pledge/threat to put an arena team in this market.

And for this failure, if for no other reason, the Nation’s Capital owes Snyder a huge thanks.

I mean, does anybody “get” this game?

It looks like the Washington Post/Redskins feud could be impacting the copy at the sports page.

The last two Skins features by beat reporter Jason La Canfora, against whom the Redskins have mounted a juvenile PR campaign, have been incredibly kind to the organization. The stories have heaped attention on new personnel guy Morocco Brown’s great fabulous attitude and Clinton Portis’ new great fabulous attitude.

The only hint of negativity in the pieces, and clearly the stick-out line in each, comes when La Canfora makes sure readers know Vinny Cerrato, the team’s GM-on-steroids, has put him on his ignore list: “Cerrato, who declined requests to comment for this story…” and “Cerrato, who declined to comment for this story…” respectively.

The disclosures read less like a reporter’s due diligence than an announcement: “Hey, everybody! Vinny won’t talk to me even when I’m blowing him kisses!”

And now I can’t wait to read La Canfora’s next feature…

Dan Snyder just announced that, yes, he’s bought WTEM-AM, aka Sportstalk 980. Good golly.

“Ahoy mates! We’re being boarded!” is how Steve Czaban opened his soon-to-be-defunct Sports Reporters show.

UPDATE, 4:46 P.M.: Full press release is after the jump. They spelled Andy Pollin’s name wrong.

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Dan Snyder’s pummeled theme park chain, Six Flags, has been taking a Kimbo Slice-sized beating from Wall Street analysts lately.

Thestreet.com has tabbed Snyder’s operation as the “worst managed” entertainment outfit in the land.

These folks paint Snyder as the Bill Bidwill of the Disney wannabes.

Six Flags, says thestreet.com, is ”adept at operating consistently at a loss and burning cash. Six Flags relies on coupons and discounting to attract traffic. That is never a recipe for success. With debt piled on top of debt Six Flags’ destiny may be in bankruptcy court.”

Ouch.

And Standard and Poor pounded on Snyder after Six Flags rearranged some of its debt earlier this month, a transaction that the analysts say was like switching from a starboard seat to a portside seat on the Hindenberg.

After the move, which S&P said could be “tantamount to a default,” the firm dropped SIX’s preferred stock rating to from a “CC” to a “D.”

I don’t understand business much, but if I’m reading this right S&P is giving Snyder the same sort of downgrade my high school chemistry teacher gave me after I fell asleep during the final exam.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Dan Snyder’s hobbled theme park chain, Six Flags, just can’t buy good news.

Kaitlyn Lasitter, a Kentucky teen whose feet were chopped off during a visit last summer to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom, came to Capitol Hill this month to lobby Congress to approve federal oversight of theme parks.

The incident on the Superman Tower of Power ride left her without a left leg below the knee and, though doctors were able to surgically re-attach one foot, with minimal mobility.

According to a USA Today report on her appearance, Lasitter told the federal lawmakers that she now “fears for her life when she gets in a car or elevator.”

Lasitter has also given testimony in a lawsuit she’s filed against Six Flags.

No thrill ride provides more chills than that testimony, as transcripts of depositions from Lasitter and witnesses to the incident are periodically released to the media.

Lasitter had previously testified that she remembered “feeling like I was on fire and smelling burning flesh.”

Good god.

Now the Louisville Courier Journal has printed the account from a witness who was on the Superman Tower of Power during the tragedy, who recalls that “as the ride dropped, he saw one of Kaitlyn’s feet fall into a canopy.”

Gooder godder.

When the ride was stopped, the witness, whose name was not printed by the paper because of his age, realized that he had Lasitter’s “blood on his hands and arms.”

Goodest goddest.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Sports Bog icon Dan Steinberg reported today that he was asked by the Redskins to quit the paper and become the team’s official blogger.

He didn’t take the job. But, regardless, Redskins owner Dan Snyder deserves kudos just for trying to bring Steinberg on board. Firstly, Steinberg is the Steve Spagnuolo of the candidates’ class: He’s the most interesting sports blogger in this town, and maybe any town. (Full disclosure: He’s also my neighbor and Friday morning whine-and-dine partner.)

And, secondly, from reading Steinberg’s announcement that he’s staying in his current position, it seems the job interview itself was enough to re-ignite the intra-office kerfuffle between the Sports Bogger and the Washington Post’s Redskins Insider, Jason LaCanfora — who happens to be tops on the hit list of Larry Michael, the bizarro character who controls the Redskins anti-media media.

Remember, fellas: Divide & Conquer’s not just a song by Husker Du. (But, damn, what a song! What a band! What a long time ago!)

One huge mistake on Snyder’s part, however: Steinberg and his family didn’t get to stay in Snyder’s pool house for three days, which until now was a standard part of the Redskins job interview package, sort of like the orange slice with your meal at City Lights. You don’t get it, you feel slighted.

Perhaps that’s why Steinberg didn’t sign on.

Dan Snyder’s nauseous theme park chain, Six Flags, got lots of recognition this week.

Foremostly, in our continuing quest to become the clearinghouse of poop on Snyder’s non-Redskins doings, here comes another cataloguing of things that have gone wrong at Six Flags of late.

Not EVERYTHING that’s gone wrong, of course. There’s not enough time or trees to get all that in print.

But we weren’t the only ones pounding on Snyder’s parks. The stock touting website Motley Fool has just named Six Flags a recipient of its Olbermannesque honor, “The Worst Stocks in the World.”

And if Snyder’s losing the Motley Fool, well, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. A regular contributor there named Rick Munarriz has been pumping up SIX since Snyder took over in late 2005.

To a business doofus such as myself, Munarriz’s continued shilling seemed bizarre and even immoral, since the share price keeps falling and can’t get up.

I once contacted Munarriz, who did not write the Worst Stocks in the World piece, and asked him why his pieces on SIX were so full of, well, bullishness.

He responded that he didn’t like me calling him a “stock tout,” and declined to explain the cheerleading.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Alas, Dan Snyder’s movie moguling won’t lead him to abandon DC and the Redskins anytime soon. The release of “Valkyrie,” the Hitler movie Snyder executive produced with Tom Cruise, has been delayed for a second time, and won’t be screened commercially until next year.

If ever, that is.

Apparently those who’ve seen the rough cuts have been left wanting to jump off buildings, not on couches. Could Snyder be knock, knock, knockin’ on “Heaven’s Gate?”