Kudos to the Washington Times, home to strong-willed Eagles fans, for flooding the zone on the Pope’s visit to D.C. in April–for about a month now the paper’s had a dedicated blog on the subject. Today it brings word that parishioners at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in New York City, where Benedict XVI will lead a prayer service, are getting the shaft as far as actually getting to attend. Worse, only 27 tickets are being made available to St. Joseph’s parishioners to attend the pope’s mass at Yankee Stadium.

Closer to home, the blog also brings word of the crucifix that will hang behind the Pope when he delivers mass at Nationals Park on April 17. The winner, pictured above, currently resides at St. Mark the Evangelist Church in Hyattsville.

I’ve always been pretty skeptical about sports figures—or any public figures for that matter—who make a big show out of their religion. And, even though he rarely gets too overt about it these days, I’ve always rolled my eyes when Redskins coach Joe Gibbs starts talking Jesus—what with the picketing of The Last Temptation of Christ and the campaigning against Abercrombie & Fitch.

But at the press conference at Redskins Park about Sean Taylor earlier this afternoon with Gibbs and Skins owner Dan Snyder, Gibbs’ subdued religiosity I think finally connected with me. I suppose that’s one of the reasons we have religion: for comfort and answers in trying times. But Gibbs got almost poetic in talking about how he’s dealing with Taylor’s death by thinking that “life on earth is a cup of smoke” compared to eternal life in heaven. I’m not much of a believer myself, but his words still struck a poignant, comforting note for me.

And a note to the Skins PR staff: Good call taking down the burgundy-and-gold FedEx/Redskins.com backdrop from the press room. Black backdrop = classy all the way.

On Monday morning, the George Washington University community awoke to a campus plastered with fliers that appeared to espouse vitriolic anti-Muslim sentiment. G.W.’s student newspaper, The Hatchet, describes the fliers:

The posters, on standard letter-sized paper, read, “Hate Muslims? So do we!!!” Below the statement is a picture of a Muslim man next to a diagram describing a “typical Muslim.” Some features mentioned include “venom from mouth,” “suicide vest,” and “peg-leg for smuggling children and heroin.”

The GW Young America’s Foundation is named as a contact on the poster, but leaders of the conservative organization said they had no involvement.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that the posters were a stunt: An outsider’s satirical response to the YAF’s upcoming “Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week,” set to begin October 19. The YAF staged a controversial event; someone who objected to it responded by falsely publicizing ridiculous anti-Muslim sentiments and attributing them to the YAF. That’s satire—albeit cheap, low-rate satire.

But the subsequent GW community meeting—and the Hatchet’s follow-up story—made it clear that (uh, sorry guys) nobody really gets it.

The GW Peace Forum, which organized the event, had this to say:

“We’re all here, we’re not all the same and we need to understand,” said sophomore Tarek Al-Hariri, president of GW Peace Forum, during the discussion. “I think something this morning happened. It may or may not have been taken the way it was supposed to be (and) may not have been a mistake. Nevertheless, people were affected, and people took offense.”

The quote is pretty representative of GW’s general confusion over what the discussion was, in fact, discussing. (Something happened, but it may or may not have been—what now?)

The remainder of the meeting was similarly stalled by a lack of understanding of the situation at hand. Reports The Hatchet:

“It was completely satirical and overblown,” [graduate student Lara] Nasri said. “It was the antithesis of racism.”

[YAF President Sergio] Gor disagreed with Nasri.

“This is not satirical,” said Sergio Gor. “It is hatred.”

Kareem Shibib, a senior from Cornell University who came to gathering after hearing about the poster, said that the flyer is racist.

“I think this is a rather overt form of racism,” Shibib said. “What is important (is) to look further into this.”

So, GW graduate student Nasri, for one, thinks it’s satire. But strangely, YAF president Gor—who has come under fire from students who think that he’s responsible for the flier—insists that it’s not. Cornell’s Shibib says we better look into it.

As for the unknown poster (or posters) of the fliers, just about everybody is pissed at them; some have suggested their expulsion if they’re ever found out. At least then they’d get a chance to explain to everybody what the heck they were talking about.

Editor’s Note: Earlier this year, Justin wrote Iceland, a blog about his band’s American tour. Justin isn’t on tour anymore, but Iceland continues, twice a week, on City Desk.

“Good afternoon, sir!” exclaimed the woman at my front door.

“Good afternoon,” I replied. Though it was Saturday, the woman wore her Sunday best and held a pamphlet called “Racial Harmony—Myth or Possibility?” This pamphlet sported a Watchtower imprint. Thus, I intuited that the woman before me was a Jehovah’s Witness.

“Sir, let me ask you,” the Witness inquired. “Have you considered that recent natural disasters—the South Asian Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, et cetera—are the work of our Creator and a sign of the End of Days?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I have often wondered whether the South Asian Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina were the work of God and signs of the Apocalypse. Who can survey these terrible events and not wonder whether the End is coming? However, I cannot help but observe that you are a Jehovah’s Witness. For this reason, I am unable to listen to your rhetoric at this time. You must understand—I have nothing personal against you. I am in no way ‘anti-Jehovah’s Witness.’ However, I had a memorable experience as a youth which will force our conversation to prematurely conclude. Let me tell you about this experience.”

I inhaled, then exhaled. The Jehovah’s Witness regarded me suspiciously.

“At a very early age,” I continued, “I was taught that I should never to open the door to a Jehovah’s Witness. When I was five years old, a Jehovah’s Witness knocked on my family’s door. I was a helpful child and ran to open the door to the prospective visitor. As my little hand clutched the doorknob, my mother—intuiting that a Jehovah’s Witness sought entry—screamed my name.

“‘Justin!’ my mother shouted. ‘Do not answer that door!’

“‘But mother,’ I replied. ‘The person at the door has already seen me.’

“‘I don’t care!’ my mother screamed. ‘Do not answer that door!‘

“I was an obedient child—I immediately dropped to the floor and scampered beneath the dining room table. The Witness, who had indeed seen me, knocked a second time, and then a third time. Though my instincts screamed ‘Answer the door!’ I obeyed my mother, and slid farther beneath the dining room table. After an eternity, the Witness sighed, shrugged his shoulders, and walked away. My mother crept to the window and peeked outside to confirm that the Witness had gone.

“‘The Jehovah’s Witness has gone,’ my mother informed me. ‘Emerge from beneath the dining room table, but remember this—never answer the door when a Jehovah’s Witness calls. Hide if you must, but do not answer the door!‘”

I inhaled, then exhaled. The Jehovah’s Witness squinted at me.

“So, you see,” I conclued. “I cannot converse with you at this time. The power of my youthful training is, as Freud postulated, all-consuming. I have already violated it by opening the door at all. I will take your pamphlets, though.”

The Jehovah’s Witness gave me her pamphlets and began backing away.

“I will review your pamphlets in my spare time,” I assured the retreating Witness, “and formulate an appropriate response via e-mail. My youthful training did not address e-mail. E-mail was not yet available when I was a youth, but that is another story.”

Hundreds gathered at the National Cathedral this morning for the funeral service for former D.C. first lady Effi Barry.

The two-hour Episcopal Mass featured tributes from ex-husband Marion S. Barry Jr., son Christopher Barry, At-Large Councilmember David Catania, Council Chairman Vincent Gray, and Mayor Adrian Fenty. Also in attendance: Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton, former Mayor Anthony A. Williams, and a number of other councilmembers.

After organ preludes from Brahms, Barber, and Mendelssohn, a reading, and a lovely “My Desire” from soprano Karen Wiggs Wilbanks, Catania spoke about Effi Barry’s efforts to encourage organ and tissue donation in D.C., and recalled their first meeting after she returned to the District in 2004. “She was easy to adore,” he said. “She was honest and authentic.” Gray followed with a tribute to her work on HIV/AIDS issues—particularly in east-of-the-river communities—which Gray was familiar with from his work with the Covenant House and the Department of Human Services.

Gray remembered a phone call he received from Barry shortly before her death; from her room at Johns Hopkins, she was concerned about the status of some grants for city AIDS organizations. “I said to her, ‘Why don’t we worry about Effi?’” Gray said. “But I knew that wasn’t going anywhere.”

Fenty recalled Barry as a woman “unusual not only for the role she played but for also they way she played it.”

After longtime family confidante Linda Greene gave a scripture reading, Christopher Barry delivered an upbeat and surprisingly lengthy tribute to his mom. “I really can’t say I feel any sadness,” he began. “Me and my mother have a bond that not even death can break.” One line in particular got an ovation: “I don’t ask God, why did this happen? I just thank him that he gave me 27 years.”

Marion Barry paid tribute to his ex-wife who “had the courage of David…the wisdom of Solomon…the strength of Samson.” Barry recounted his decision to run for mayor in 1978 and asking Effi whether she wanted to do it. “She said, ‘I don’t know much about politics, but I’m your wife, took these vows.’ That’s the sort of woman she was.”

Referring to “those difficult times on 1990,” Barry said he counted on her loyalty during his prosecution for the infamous crack bust. “She said, Marion, I’m your wife, joined at the hip. I’m gonna be in the courtroom every day from the time it opens till the time it closes.’…Thank God for that.”

Christopher Barry never mentioned his father, but after both Barrys left the podium, they shared a deep embrace to the crowd’s applause.

At 11:30 a.m. today, a gunman fired at least 10 shots from the sidewalk at the corner of 5th and P Streets NW in Shaw. By 12:30 p.m., police had no evidence he hit anything.

As officers counted shell casings behind the tape, a group of neighbor told the story of the shooting. Rumor has it the shooter, a man described only by his long dreads, went gunning for a second man for snitching on him to police.

The sources, not surprisingly, refused to give their names. But one did offer an explanation as to how the gunner could fire 10 shots with no apparent victim. The target, said the woman, thumbing a Bible while sitting in her wheelchair, was protected by Jesus.

Further, Jesus, she believes, protected her when a car ran her down a month or so ago. The crash destroyed her wheelchair, but she escaped with only a few scratches.

“Me and my family pray,” she said, pulling up her sleeve to show a pair of praying hands tattooed on her arm, complete with red nail polish.

But Jesus, apparently, does not control this woman’s wrath. When her former sister-in-law arrived and tried to wheel her away from the group, the woman lost her cool. “If you don’t get away from me, I’m gonna drop this Bible and kick your ass,” she said.

This morning’s Examiner reports that the city failed to give fair warning to 20,000 motorists fined $100 each for mashing cell phones to their ears while driving.

The city did a poor job informing the drivers (many who come from the suburbs where the action is only bad form) that it’s banned in the District, the paper learned from a Police Complaints Board report released Thursday.

Well “boo f’in hoo,” as my colleague might put it.

Ignorance of a law is generally not a valid excuse for breaking it, the Examiner reporter writes in the second paragraph, and he is correct.

And law aside, only a driver from some Virginia dark holler (where even Verizon reception is spotty) could have missed the notion that driving one handed with a phone in your ear is felony bad judgment.

Perhaps at District borders we should install signs as Virginia does to advertise its radar detector law.

“Welcome to the District of Columbia,” the signs would read. “Leave your guns at home. If you’re going to smoke, step outside the bar. If you chat while driving, buy the dorky earpiece. Consider yourself warned.”

In the pantheon of D.C. area weird religious places to go and gawk, you’ve got the George Washington Masonic Memorial, the Oz-like LDS Washington D.C. Temple Visitors’ Center and now L. Ron Hubbard’s house.

A bold, swanky sign went up less than a week ago in front of 1812 19th Street NW in Dupont, site of the “founding church” of Scientology that Hubbard set up in 1955. The house belonged to the church until the mid-’70s, when it was sold and reverted to a residence. It was repurchased by the Church of Scientology three years ago, according to acting director of the L. Ron Hubbard House and chairman of the Friends of L. Ron Hubbard, Bill Runyon. It took about a year to restore the house to L. Ron’s use of it in 1957, which is around when he performed the first Scientology marriage there and a few years before the FBI raided it, seeking clues about suspected ties to Communism. And now you can, by appointment, “walk through the Hubbard Communications Office, past the desk where Ron’s personal secretary typed his policies and technical bulletins and transcribed his recorded lectures.”

It sounds scintillating, doesn’t it? Tours have been offered for a few months now, but there was only a small temporary sign announcing their arrival until Runyon and friends convinced the city and the ANC to approve the new sign. Hubbard, who was a teenager on the streets of D.C., tearing it up as a young Eagle Scout, is a fascinating figure whose history has long been up for debate. Check out his Wiki. Can’t make time for the tour? Stay tuned. I’m going on Friday. It’s part of my passive-aggressive attempts to figure out my only brother, who envisions himself the L. Ron for a new age. Be afraid, folks. I know I am.

From the H-DC list comes this tidbit: The Jewish Historical Society of Greater Washington has just launched an online exhibition, Half a Day on Sunday: Jewish-Owned “Mom and Pop” Grocery Stores. It grew out of an actual exhibit once shown the the Society; now it’s been converted to an online exhibit complete with photos, video, and a searchable database of Jewish-owned groceries.

Sadly, there’s few remnants left of what the exhibit documents. Supermarkets have long since killed off most corner grocers of any ethnicity. But Magruder’s and and Chevy Chase Supermarket have Jewish roots. And then there’s this tidbit: “In 1936, Nehemiah Cohen and Samuel Lehrman chose Washington for their new business venture and opened the first Giant self-service supermarket at Georgia Avenue and Park Road, N.W.”

As for the name of the project:

The grocery cooperative became a social group as well as a business community. At annual banquets and beach outings, grocers and their families established and nurtured a sense of community. On Sunday afternoons, many stores closed, and families picnicked at Hains Point or in Rock Creek Park, or had a rare meal out at Solomons—a kosher restaurant on Kennedy Street, N.W.

Kudos to the JHS on a fantastic piece of community history.

From today’s Washington Examiner:

Four vacant homes in the heart of Shaw, all owned by a controversial Baptist church, have been condemned by the D.C. government as a possible danger to the community. The D.C. Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs, which posted the condemnation notices Wednesday, gave Shiloh Baptist Church 15 days to repair its properties at 1528, 1532, 1534 and 1536 Ninth St. NW.

If you saw our groundbreaking coverage of the matter a year and a half ago, you’ll know that Shiloh Baptist Church has taken a lot of heat from Shaw residents for refusing to fix up its numerous properties around the church building at 9th and P Streets NW. Finally, the city’s stepped in to force the issue.

Great story, Michael Neibauer—until the last graf. Are you seriously going to let Leroy Thorpe blame others for “dividing the community along racial lines in an effort to push people out”?

Now that my days as a Washington, D.C., church critic have come to a close, I have numerous regrets concerning missed opportunities. Chief among them is that I did not spend more time leaning on one of these staffs.

This Saturday I ducked out of the Dismemberment Plan reunion show a little early to join a few of my friends in attending an all-night prayer service at Debre Selam Kidist Mariam Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church. When we arrived we were each handed one of these four-foot ceremonial staffs and told that we could lean them to relieve our burden during the four-hour-plus service—much of which would be spent standing.

It really did the trick. Had I been sitting down I might have been inclined to doze off given the late hour, but with one of these bad boys I was able to stand up all night and concentrate fully on M. Moges Seyoum’s heated chanting while suffering little fatigue.

I can only think how valuable one of these would have been to have around for any of the 63 services that I attended professionally. All the weight I could have shifted onto it! The collection plates I could have warded off! At any rate, if anybody knows where I can snag one of these for secular use, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Shaw residents who have long wished for more cafes and restaurants in their up-and-coming neighborhood have some reason to hope: Shiloh Baptist Church, notorious for owning numerous fallow properties in the neighborhood, has undergone a changing of the guard.

Shiloh’s board of trustees is comprised of 10 members who serve no more than two three-year terms, and according to Shiloh trustee Ralph Lee, four tenured members’ terms expired in January, including the chairperson’s, and more progressive members have been appointed to the board to replace them. Lee says there are now enough board members who favor developing the church’s unoccupied properties, mostly along 9th Street NW, to get plans off the ground.

Lee says the neighborhood can expect changes soon. “We’re still in the planning stages with our architects developing our master plan,” he says. “It’s long overdue.”

Alex Padro, advisory neighborhood commissioner for the neighborhood and a longtime critic of the church, met with Lee and says he feels “encouraged” by the changes. Padro says the board hasn’t presented him with an official timeline or plan of action, but he says he’s hopeful.

“The difference is that the folks that have now been put into office have a clear mandate to move forward with the development rather than just continue to sit around on their hands and not make any decisions,” he says.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

AdamsMorgan
Ward 1 Council candidate and Listserv troll Chad Williams writes an open letter to his community in which he touts his ability to…chat with gang members. “We need a councilmember who truly understands how to reduce the criminal activities of gangs in Ward 1. We need a councilmember who is comfortable speaking to members of 640 (Park Morton Apartments), 35 Double O (3500 block of 14th Street), MS-13, Pussy Pound and others. That Councilmember must have the resolve to persuade gangs and enlighten these adolescents to ways of better economic opportunities than a life in crime.” One resident calls bullshit. “Okay, so you have ‘spoken with’ the various gangs,” she writes. “When? How many times? How did your speaking with them reduce crime in our neighborhood?…Do you have any empirical evidence to support your assumptions? Did you come to these conclusions after ‘speaking with’ the various gangs? Please tell us how you have persuaded the gangs in the past; and why you think the gang members will opt for a different lifestyle once they are enlightened about ‘better economic opportunities than a life in crime.’”

LDSAbstractSingles
This week, local Mormons tackle illegal immigration. Xenophobic rants ensue: “Really, its becoming more and more clear that the U.S. is getting lost in the cultures of all the other countries out there,” JC writes. “Nobody even knows what the United States stands for anymore unless they are talking about high divorce rate, lots of fat people, and increasingly less morals (Pres. Clinton).…I can’t walk down the street without being bombarded by some other language on a sign or billboard.” Blake responds: “Yes we should be in better control of immigration, but the fear of losing ‘our culture’ is silly. And try not to forget that these 10 million illegals are not sitting around asking for a handout.” JC, however, is not to be talked down to—and he also remains oblivious to the fact that his command of written English would barely pass TOEFL requirements. “I’m really somewhat surprised to see how liberal some people in the church have become,” he grumbles.

TakomaDC
The battle over the Piney Branch Road Safeway’s alcohol license continues. “I am a fan of being able to do one-stop-shopping at Safeway for a meal snd beverage (including alcohol),” writes Evelyn. “I also understand the concerns of not wanting to be a 24 hour liquor store. What I am concerned about is that we don’t make alcohol purchase an option of only the wealthy and well-to-do.” But Judy finds the discussion tangential. “I don’t think I care if the Safeway sells alcohol,” writes Judy, “but I wish they would care more about the shoppers’ experience in the store.” Hence her calls for Safeway to “stop selling farm-raised fish” and “stop their Sunday hot dog grilling, which can only be wasting more $ than it is raising”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

colonial
Who says Mormons are square? While boozing is a well-known no-no, and some Mormons won’t even set foot in a bar, a group of Colonial ward singles organizing a Family Home Evening (a Monday night gathering to talk gospel shop) are willing to ignore the debauchery at Whitlow’s on Wilson for the sake of cheap eats. “For those unfamiliar with the delights of WoW, it is a ‘college-esque’ beer and burger joint in Clarendon, and on Monday nights they offer half price hamburgers,” writes the organizer. “So dust off your ID…and come join us for lots of fun conversation and great burgers.” In a separate post, a single Mormon dude is—gasp—looking for fly honeys as roommates, another big no-no. “Hi, i’m looking for cool coed’s.…females down with living with a fun guy!” he writes. “I know there must be tons of cool girls okay with living with a guy(s)…as there seemed to be endless numbers of girls living with guys down at duck beach for a week(end). Cool girls need only respond. Thanks.”

shepherdpark
The weekend’s crime reports are in. For some, robbery appears to be just another errand: “C1(H,M,21) AND C2(H,F,25) RPT S1 APPROACHED C1-2 AS S1 TALKED ON A CELL PHONE. S1 THEN TOLD THE PERSON ON THE PHONE, ‘HOLD ON.’ IN SPANISH. S1 THEN PULLED OUT A KNIFE AND IN SPANISH STATED, ‘GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT.’ C1-2 COMPLIED. S1 FLED WEST ON TAYLOR ST NW.”

TakomaDC
While the city celebrated the Fourth of July, some Takoma Park residents were inside just waiting for it to end. “I’m writing to find out if anyone knows about a time limit for setting off fireworks in DC,” one woman writes. “Right now, it sounds like a war is going on outside our windows, and my three year old has his pillow wrapped around his head…and is scared stiff.” But some think folks need to loosen up a little. “It’s a festival,” writes another resident. “A celebration. Enjoy it. God knows, it should happen more often!” “Unfortunately this is really hard to do when you have a screaming child,” says another, who then offers a bit of advice: “My only suggestion with noise is to desensitize the child someway—allowing him or her to make sudden loud noises or to see them made so they become understandable. They seem to go on for weeks around here.”

Yesterday, Mayor Anthony A. Williams asked Bishop Alfred A. Owens Jr. to apologize for recent toxic remarks disparaging gay men. He said a mea culpa was the only way he could allow Owens to remain an honorary member of the mayor’s interfaith council.

Today, the bishop delivered. Sort of.

In a letter in today’s Washington Post, Owens employs the classic I’m-sorry-if-I-offended-anyone apology. The bishop writes that, “During my Palm Sunday sermon, I used words that the D.C. Coalition of Black Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Men and Women has denounced as offensive. It was not my purpose to wound anyone or discriminate against any group, and I apologize for any offense.”

After outlining efforts by his Greater Mount Calvary Holy Church to address HIV-AIDS prevention and his support for those who wanted help in pursuing a heterosexual orientation, Owens went on to write: “I will not submit my sermons through political filters for fear of recrimination by political or social groups. On any given Sunday, I preach about love, faith and holiness, and, yes, about hell and sin. For that, I offer no apology.”

The way the mayor sees things, Owens hasn’t quite delivered enough. “It was a good first step,” Williams says. “I am very heartened to see that he’s taken the step.” But the mayor stopped short of saying the Bishop is now an honorary Interfaith Council member in good standing. He characterized the letter as, “a little bit ambiguous.”

Williams says that’s why he wants to sit down for a chat with the bishop and repeated his public request for a meeting. The mayor says he has not heard from the bishop about any kind of get-together.