If you happen to be strolling down by the Georgetown waterfront this Sunday, you may encounter an interesting scene. DC Vote has announced it’s throwing a tea party (full name: “DC Vote Tea Party: The Revolution is Still Brewing”). As you may suspect, there is no mention of crumpets or Earl Grey in the press release. But, here are a few more details of future shenanigans:

What: DC Vote Tea Party: The Revolution Is Still Brewing
On the 234th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, more than half a million Americans living in our nation’s capital pay the second highest per capita federal taxes yet still have no voting representation in Congress. It’s well past time for an end to “taxation without representation.

Apparently, there will be a symbolic reenactment of the Boston Tea Party. Custom printed tea packets with an “End Taxation Without Representation” message will be distributed by activists in colonial-era costume. But don’t throw those in the water! That’s not the idea, says DC Vote Communications Director Kevin Kiger. “We have no interest in doing that, that would be littering,” he says. The group has never done an event like this before, though a group of delegates to the 2004 Democratic Convention in Boston had a similar reenactment, just to “raise awareness,” says Kiger. The party lasts from 1:30 to 2:30 pm at the Georgetown Waterfront Park, between Wisconsin Ave. and 31st St. NW.

Wednesday night is the next Republican presidential debate, and local voting-rights activists want their questions answered. And, no, it won’t involve picketing or a sit-in this time.

This is the CNN/YouTube presidential debate, and if you’re not familiar with the format, it’s like any other debate, except the questions are taken from videos made by citizens and posted on YouTube.

Local nonprof DC Vote coordinated a series of 11 video questions, which were taped with the help of local public-access station DCTV. Says DC Vote Outreach Director Eugene Dewitt Kinlow: “They range from the serious and straightforward to some with a little levity.”

Well, just about all of them are in the former category: Two of the spots are from local GOP bigwigs, such as they are—local party chair Bob Kabel and D.C. Young Republicans leader Marcus Skelton. A number of avowed Democrats, including Ward 5 Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr., Ward 7 Councilmember Yvette Alexander, and schools Ombudsman Tonya Vidal Kinlow, also recorded questions.

Several more are from un affiliated D.C. citizens. One, from the Chambliss family, plays the cute-kid card. Nelson Rimensnyder goes patriotic. And bordering on the bizarre would be Eli Zigas‘ video, in which he plays a time-traveling, iMac-owning Abe Lincoln.

The chances of any of the DC Vote spots making it on air are admittedly slim, with thousands of videos having been submitted, but let’s call Zigas’ chances at slim to none. As far as I’m concerned, I vote for Skelton’s spot:

Which one do you like best? Watch ‘em all, and put your vote in the comments.

On Tuesday, D.C. Vote held its 7th annual “Champions of Democracy” awards reception at the Carnegie Library (né City Museum). The festivities, like at many a fundraising bash, included a silent auction of lunches with D.C. politicos, with the proceeds to benefit D.C. Vote’s general operations.

Such a fundraising tactic has always held a certain appeal for LL because it’s about as close as one can get to a free-market determination of a councilmember’s relative clout. After all, who shells out big bucks to have lunch with a politico who can’t get things done? Herewith, an accounting:

$275 - Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh*
$250 - At-Large Councilmember Kwame Brown
$200 - Ward 8 Councilmember Marion S. Barry Jr.
$105 - Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham
$90 - Ward 6 Councilmember Tommy Wells
$70 - Ward 4 Councilmember Muriel Bowser
$60 - Ward 7 Councilmember Yvette Alexander
$60 - Ward 5 Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr.

Now to be fair: Cheh’s number is inflated, considering a bid gave you a shot at an eight-person dinner with the councilmember at the home of local filmmaker and D.C. Vote board member Aviva Kempner, rather than the usual restaurant lunch for two.

The true champion of clout, though, was Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray, who got $500 for his offering. That, however, was a little bit more than just lunch: four spots in the city’s Verizon Center luxury box for a Wizards game.

The cloture vote to bring the D.C. voting-rights legislation to the Senate floor has failed 57-42, leaving the bill unfilibusterproof.

Maybe next time.

Kudos to Mayor Adrian Fenty, who was working the Senate floor throughout the vote. (He has Congressional floor privileges ex officio.)

It’s people like Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Without him, we’d be Baltimore or Philly—just any other big city that’s not New York or Los Angeles. But we have Mitch. With folks like the Republican from Kentucky, we get to do all sorts of things like create nifty license plates, and do fun stuff like rally in front of the Dirksen Senate Office Building to be allowed to have a real vote on farm bills, transportation infrastructure, and spy programs.

The D.C. Voting Rights Bill faces a critical Senate vote today. This morning, the Washington Post wrote a piece on Fenty’s last-minute efforts, which included a rally at the Capitol. In the story, McConnell was quoted saying something only a long-time politician could get away with:

“The right to vote is fundamental, and I will fight any attempt to dilute or impede that right,” McConnell said on the Senate floor, in a speech distributed by his press office. “My opposition to this bill rests instead on a single all-important fact: It is clearly and unambiguously unconstitutional.”

To read the good Senator’s full remarks go here.

Again, this is what makes D.C. special. Be proud, District residents. Without McConnell, where would we be? What would we be?

I think McConnell’s office needs some angry phone calls (202-224-2541). Or at least a little Borf.

I never warmed to the D.C. statehood argument. Voting rights, yes, absolutely, right now. But the idea of our tiny District as a state seems unwieldy. Admittedly, the main reason I’m against it is that adding another state will totally mess up the flag. Fifty-one is an odd odd number, and I can’t envision any elegant way to cram one more five-pointer onto the field of blue. As it stands, America has the most kick-ass flag on Earth. (Nice try, Latvia!) We certainly don’t want to end up like this.

But here’s a solution—why not just get rid of another state? Like Florida. I spent the weekend in that benighted region, and now understand completely why most episodes of Cops are filmed there. The long, flat streets are bordered day and night with shirtless, aimless-looking men, usually carrying a bottle, invariably sporting some variation of a mullet. It’s also no coincidence that News of the Weird’s Chuck Shepherd calls Florida home–it pays to be close to your sources.

Not only is the geography stultifyingly dull, but this photo…

…represents the apex of local architecture. In Florida, you can count the buildings taller than one story on your flip-flopped toes. But you don’t want to count the buildings, because that would mean you have to look at them, and they are of a piece capital-U ugly.

Now, I must say that I was in the Sunshine State for the wedding of a dear friend—it was lovely. And I have relatives who I also adore who live there. But on balance, Florida has long failed to uphold its end of the Constitutional bargain. For 200 years, its populace has focused almost entirely on the “pursuit of happiness” clause of the Declaration of Independence, which, for the record, is not legally binding. And as far as voting goes, we don’t have to rehash that mess again.

Plus, there’s an economic argument: We can offset some of George W. Bush’s irresponsible deficit by selling Florida to the highest bidder. I’m willing to bet that Disney will want to finally own the whole shebang.

So, D.C. gets Florida’s vote and its star. Done deal.

Now, when we get around to annexing Canada, I’ll have a few words to say about South Carolina.

• The rain proved to be a blessing for organizers of the march in support of a D.C. voting rights bill. The 1,500 or so people who showed up were truly committed and energetic.

Organizers were forced to move the elevated stage in front of the reflecting pond to the ground because of the wind, creating a much rowdier atmosphere and fostering a closer connection between the leaders and the people.

But most importantly, the weather prompted legendary talker Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton to keep it short. When D.C. Vote Executive Director Ilir Zherka announced to the mob gathered before the capital that they had decided to shorten the program, old D.C. political hands chuckled knowing that the longwinded Norton was waiting in the wings.

LL hit the stopwatch figuring Norton would turn a fired-up but windblown crowd into a frozen and silent mob just looking forward to the indoor post-rally reception.

Her big speech clocked in at 4 minutes, 50 seconds—a record for brevity as far as regular Norton watchers could figure.

• The rally barely got started before several marchers unfurled a banner not to the liking of organizers. What followed was what opponents of Mayor Adrian Fenty’s school takeover plan call a muzzling of free expression.

Just as the march stepped off, D.C. school teacher Kerry Sylvia and parent Lee Glazer walked between the cameras and Fenty carrying a banner that read: “Democracy Starts at Home: Referendum on the Schools Takeover.”

The banner referred to calls by some residents for the mayor and council to put the question of Fenty’s schools-takeover legislation to a vote of the people. The mayor and council have agreed to go to Congress for the change in the city’s charter required for the school takeover.

According to Sylvia, their attempt at ribbing Fenty at his own event was short-lived. “We knew this was Fenty’s gig and it wouldn’t be something people would like,” says Sylvia. But she didn’t expect a physical confrontation.

“They tried to move us at first,” she says. “Some of the men were wearing green jackets that said ‘Roving Leaders’ on the back.” Then the treatment got rougher. “That’s when they start to shove us. They were stepping on our feet and pushing us.”

Sylvia wasn’t planning to disrupt the march per se, but she does feel the overreaction by Fenty backers helped make their point. “We wanted to point out that democracy starts at home,” she says.

Photograph by Arthur Delaney

Mayor Adrian Fenty is generously using the resources of his office to pump up attendance at the April 16 voting rights march. Callers to the mayor’s citywide call center are urged to attend the march. He mentions the event at almost every public appearance.

But the mayor’s enthusiasm for the voting rights cause hasn’t reached all D.C. employees.

On Thursday, LL spied one of those billboard trailers attached to a pickup truck with a big sign promoting the march. The rolling promo was parked near the corner of 15th and U Streets NW, right in front of the headquarters of D.C. Vote. Two D.C. parking officers were finishing their work and slapping two tickets under the truck’s windshield wipers. By the time LL parked and ran back to them, the officers were on their way to another hit.

Everyone knows D.C. ticket writers are ruthless. And who can blame them if they are bolstering the D.C. treasury by nailing freeloaders from Maryland and Virginia?

But Officer Williams (Badge No. 00370) could find no reason to give a break to democracy crusaders—despite the “Demand The Vote” billboard attached to the offending vehicle. The driver of the truck is out $100—$50 each for “OBSTRUCTING CROSSWALK” and “BLOCKING HYDRANT,” according to the tickets.

LL found the driver, Levone Seegars of Billboard Connection, in the D.C. Vote conference room. He operates a little company out of his home and was donating his time to the voting rights cause.

Perhaps Seegars should take his case to someone who might be able to get the tickets waived. It should be pretty easy to find the mayor at the front of the voting rights march on Monday.

D.C.’s voting rights push has some new, young energy and a new strategy for winning a vote in Congress. And for once, the new tactics aren’t coming from D.C. congressional delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton.

The latest voting rights push for the District was hatched in a distinctive venue at a dinner Wednesday hosted by District entrepreneur Jeffery Zients. The last time D.C. politicos saw Zients, he was part of the local business team that attempted and failed to buy the Nationals.

He hasn’t exactly been known for his voting-rights advocacy. Zients spokesperson Winston Lord says his boss has a simple motivation: he’s a native Washingtonian who wants a vote in Congress. “He wants to bring like-minded individuals together to strategize about how to make this reality.”

According to sources familiar with the dinner, some of those gathered around Zients’ repast are familiar faces in the voting-rights battle. WTOP rabble-rouser Mark Plotkin spoke. Republican Jack Kemp was on hand. So was mayor-to-be Adrian Fenty—a logical new best political friend for whiz-kid Zients.

Zients reached out to some newcomers as well among the 35 on the guest list, including former Louisiana Sen. John Breaux, who says he was roped into attending by a colleague at the Patton Boggs law firm. (Some who attended the meeting say Breaux’s interest in the issue was stoked by his move to the District and attendant disenfranchisement.)

According to those noshing with Zients, it was an old fashioned skull-session aimed at seizing the opportunity to move a bill sponsored by Virginia Rep. Tom Davis and Norton that would give the District a voting representative in the House. Attendees were hatching a strategy to move the bill during the lame-duck session of Congress.

Norton’s absence at the dinner is notable. The sometimes-surly nonvoting delegate has held virtual dictatorial powers over the District’s voting-rights strategy. She could not be reached for comment about not being invited. And it wasn’t like those around the table weren’t discussing matters outside her curriculum vitae.

Lord says the dinner was no snub of Norton. “We appreciate what others have been doing on this effort,” he says. Norton’s spokesperson Doxie McCoy indicated that dinner organizers of the event called her office asking for contact information of some voting rights advocates.

But Plotkin—who ostensibly is a working journalist/analyst—finally has his dream: a chance to get movers and shakers to craft a real action plan for voting rights without Norton’s input or veto.

According to Breaux, the dinner yielded several strategies for moving the bill, which gives the District a vote in the House in return for giving the state of Utah an additional at-large seat that would presumably go to the GOP.

“I was trying to be helpful and explain that the lame-duck session is going to be difficult,” says Breaux. “The only thing is, if they can get [Utah Republican Sen.] Bob Bennett and [Utah's senior senator] Orrin Hatch to go to [Majority Leader Bill] Frist, I think they can get some sort of agreement to get it done quickly.”

Breaux thinks it is important to ratchet up the pressure right after the election. If the Democrats win, “some of them might take the attitude, we will do it in the next Congress.”

LISTEN
Excerpt from Williams’ May 17 press conference (MP3 format, 308 KB)
(Audio courtesy of WTOP; photo by Darrow Montgomery)

Washington Post Radio commentator Mark Plotkin finally found a way to make the normally disciplined Mayor Anthony A. Williams lose his shit.

During Williams’ weekly press conference this morning, Plotkin pressed his usual litany of leading questions about District voting rights. He asked the mayor whether he would call President George W. Bush to urge the White House to support a D.C. voting-rights bill expected to win approval by the House Government Affairs Committee Thursday.

In response to Plotkin’s question, the mayor replied that he would try to reach the President or his chief of staff. When Plotkin launched into an annoying speech-fashioned-as-question challenging the mayor’s true commitment to the voting-rights cause, Williams unleashed a rare tirade: “Look, Mark, goddamn it! Everybody tries to…reach the president. I’m just being realistic, OK? If I’m not able to reach the president, then what am I going to do? Just take my marbles and go home? I’ll talk to someone else. I’m saying it, but you’re making me say it, and that’s why I’m saying ‘Goddamn it.’”

The mayor immediately apologized to “the faith community” for his outburst. He apologized two more times before the end of his press conference and said the exclamation “Goddamn it,” was inappropriate for a public setting.

Just a few moments before his Plotkin-inspired outburst, he had called on Bishop Alfred A. Owens Jr. of Greater Mount Calvary Holy Church to apologize to the gay community for homophobic comments delivered during an April 9 sermon.

“I think it finally reached the point where he’s thinking, I just don’t give a shit,” says Plotkin. “At least he showed some emotion. I just wish he would show the same kind of passion for the issue.…[Williams] has done everything that Bush has asked him to do. Why not put a little heat on the President?”

Recently, the City Paper offices were on the receiving end of a kind Canadian gesture. Our neighbor’s embassy had conducted a nationwide study to determine the economic benefits of trade with Canada, state-by-state and the results are laid out on a glossy, color-coded “Trade and Security Partnership Map.” Alabama ships up its auto parts, Florida its tomatoes, Virginia its coal, and Maryland “$89 million in books and pamphlets.” It’s odd, though, that the map was sent to us, considering that the benefits of relations with Canada are notably absent with regard to the District of Columbia. (We do get a sharp-looking blue star labeled “Washington.”)

Bernard Etzinger, a spokesperson for the Canadian embassy, says there’s a reason for the slight. “We can’t get good economic stats to measure the number of jobs created [in the District] by trade with Canada,” he says. But what about the most high-profile bilateral trade—the export of the Montreal Expos to Washington? Well, that isn’t officially characterized as a benefit or a loss for either country, Etzinger says.

“We were delighted they were able to find a good home,” he says. “Our old ambassador used to joke that he loved the team so much he followed them to Washington.” Unofficially, though, Etzinger is less enamored. “As a baseball fan, I have my personal opinions about whether that was right or wrong,” he says.