From the folks that brought you The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex, and a wide variety of other books that probably were sold at Urban Outfitters comes The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac of Politics.

The book is not strictly focused on current American politics. No Louis XVI and Jefferson Davis also get proper thrashings. But, D.C. gets plenty of representation in the book’s 260 pages.

I flipped to the index already expecting to see one local name, and I was not disappointed. Read the rest of this entry »

On Friday, Youth Today broke the story that Roque Gerald, the new head of the embattled D.C. Child and Family Services Agency, had sex with a patient during a counseling session in 1989 and was subsequently sued. The case was eventually settled after appeals reaching all the way to Virginia’s supreme court.

(For the record, LL is personally embarrassed that the scoop eluded him, seeing as the first item in a Google search for “Roque Gerald” brings up a summary of the suit. That’s not to to take away from Youth Today, who are totally fuego.)

Gerald has either refused to comment to the press or has been unavailable to comment on the matter, but yesterday morning, Gerald sent out an e-mail to CFSA staff responding to the revelations. “I have not made any public comments,” he wrote, “but my personal statement to you is the following. Twenty years ago, I made an error that I recognized, regretted, and admitted immediately. I have continued to regret it ever since. That one-time lapse was a painful lesson, but it strengthened my commitment to the high standards I lived before and have upheld every day since.”

“Nothing will erase my regret over the past,” he continued, “but I was very relieved that it will not undermine support for CFSA at this critical time.”

The full e-mail is after the jump. —Jason Cherkis and Mike DeBonis

Read the rest of this entry »

For your afternoon viewing enjoyment, LL gives you Ward 8 Councilmember Marion Barry and Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh getting down to “Let’s Get It On.” (Yes, Marion Barry would be the one wearing the Marion Barry T-shirt.)

And here’s Barry dancing with at-large colleague and former mayoral foe Carol Schwartz to “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.” Behind them, Cheh cuts a rug/lawn with council chair and legendary hand-dancer Vincent C. Gray.

The occasion, you might be wondering, was a picnic—complete with live band!—for councilmembers and their staffs held Saturday at Gray’s Hillcrest home. LL crashed the party; more to come in this week’s column.

Just in time to save us from debating a New Yorker cover that left so very many of us so very confused (was Michael Eric Dyson really expounding on the intrinsically unsatirical nature of fist-bumps on the News Hour?) here’s an uncomplicated picture of Barack Obama holding a three-legged puppy dog at the Lincoln Memorial. The picture is on the side of the bus promoting a book by Jana Kohl about puppy mills—Baby, the ridiculously cute dog in the photo, was rescued from such a place—and both Baby and Kohl are in town for the next few days. On Saturday Kohl will be signing books at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City, as part of the Taking Action for Animals conference. No word on whether it’s available as a poster.

From a reader:

Click photo for a clearer view.

Dr. Sharlynn E. Bobo, head of the embattled Child and Family Services Agency, has resigned tonight, according to a mayoral press release. She’s being replaced by Dr. Roque Gerald, head of CFSA’s Office of Clinical Practice and a former deputy director of the agency.

About the only surprising thing about this move is that Mayor Adrian M. Fenty didn’t call a press conference to announce it. Then again, that’s not so surprising either, considering the uncomfortable questions that have surrounded the agency’s performance in the wake of the Banita Jacks tragedy, the June 25 death of 6-month-old Isiah Garcia, and this week’s death of a 5-month-old boy. There have been numerous reports this week of massive backlogs among CFSA caseworkers, and Ward 6 Councilmember Tommy Wells grilled Bobo at a hearing Monday, hours after the death of the 5-month old.

“I have a loss of confidence in the leadership of the agency,” he said, as quoted in the Examiner, “but I don’t believe there is a very deep bench at the agency and that there’s not a likely person to step up who’s been identified.” (Fenty’s vote of confidence in Bobo, in the same article: “I would not keep anyone in a cabinet position if I did not think that they were the best person to do the job.”)

Yep, LL is going to say a press release issued at 9:44 p.m. might have been the smart way to handle this one. You can read it after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

That’s the actual subhead in a press release from Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans‘ office. Luckily, the statement redeems itself by presenting some real news (as opposed to the recent “[Kwame] BROWN BAGS IT FOR PROSTATE CANCER AWARENESS“.)

Residents in Shaw have been begging for ShotSpotter since the dawn of the police listervs, or at least it feels that way. Here’s a little sample:

“What bothers me almost as much as the repeated gunfire is that residents (myself included) seem to have gotten so accustomed to hearing it that it may not even get reported. One more reason that we need to get ShotSpotter deployed so that the police aren’t dependent on sometimes not-very-precise reports from residents.”

Now, apparently, the wait is over.

Read the rest of this entry »

Jon Stewart Wins: The Daily Show’s response to the New Yorker cover flap hits the nail on the head. Stewart’s advice to the Obama camp:

You know what your response should’ve been? It’s very easy here, let me put the statement out for you: “Barack Obama is in no way upset about the cartoon that depicts him as a Muslim extremist. Because you know who gets upset about cartoons? Muslim extremists! Of which Barack Obama is not. It’s just a fucking cartoon!”

Local gun enthusiasts, note these words: “reasonably perceived threat of immediate harm.”

That there, laid out in a law likely to be passed tomorrow by the D.C. Council, lays out exactly when you’ll be allowed to actually load a gun in the District of Columbia for self-defense purposes.

This policy was announced this afternoon at a Wilson Building press conference featuring Mayor Adrian M. Fenty, Interim Attorney General Peter Nickles, police chief Cathy Lanier, council Chair Vincent C. Gray, and various councilmembers. Much of the presser was devoted to the nuts and bolts of actually registering a handgun—you’ll be able to apply for a handgun permit likely later this week, Nickles said, and the whole process should take “weeks or months.” That includes taking a written firearms safety test and getting fingerprinted, plus a ballistics sample for every registered gun. Getting your hands on a gun is a trickier process; you can buy a gun in another state then have it transferred to a dealer in the District (for a fee)—last week, WTOP’s Mark Segraves found the one guy in town who’s willing to do that for you: one Charles Sykes, Jr.

As to where you can load that gun, given a “reasonably perceived threat of immediate harm,” it’s only in your home. Not your yard. Not your car, which might be parked in front of your home, but in your home. Now, as for the use of the gun once it’s loaded, the statute will say nothing about that; use of a weapon in self-defense is governed by reams of case law, Nickles says.

The District’s proposed standard is likely to attract additional legal scrutiny from folks who feel that the policy in not in full compliance with the Heller decision, but Nickles says it was drafted to comply fully with the holding. “When you do almost anything in this city, you get a lawsuit,” he said.

Lots more info in the press release after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

LL has obtained a copy of the press release to be issued after At-Large Candidate Adam Clampitt announces that he’s shuttering his campaign today and endorsing Michael A. Brown.

Clampitt is billing it as a “veritable merger of the former rival campaigns,” with three members of Clampitt’s staff now working for Brown, including campaign manager Jarvis Houston. “Other resources formerly under Clampitt’s control will now be at Brown’s disposal as he continues his election bid and adopts portions of Clampitt’s platform,” the release reads.

And there’s this statement from Clampitt: “Michael Brown and I see to eye to eye on many issues, and this made my decision to support him easier.” said Clampitt. “Those who are familiar with my campaign know that advocating for a more business friendly climate in the District, innovating policing and crime fighting initiatives, fighting for full marriage equality and enacting term limits for elected officials are my most important issues.”

Full release after jump. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s kind of nice to know we’re worth that much, at least. But according to the AP, it’s apparently a million clams less than we used to be worth.

The Environmental Protection Agency uses this figure as part of their cost-benefit analyses, trying to determine whether life-saving environmental measures are, you know, worth it.

Our lives used to be worth $7.8 million to the EPA, so one would assume that they worked a little harder to protect them. But they just lost about 12% of their incentive to save our asses. Some number cruncher just made it statistically cheaper for the government to toxify the planet.

The devaluation of our lives has happened gradually over the past five years (and to be honest, we could sort of tell, right?)

If it makes you feel any better, Senator Barbara Boxer (D-Ca.), head of the Environment and Public Works Committee, says she’ll introduce legislation to raise our value again.

That book you see up there? Not a children’s book. John-John’s Greatest Gift looks like it might be some guide to coping with a parent’s death through the story of John Kennedy Jr.—hey, stranger kids’ books are out there. But it is, in fact, the creepiest thing ever.

Written by North Potomac resident John B. Arnett Sr., the book speculates about the fate of John F. Kennedy Jr. after he died on July 16, 1999. (To be fair, it also speculates about the fate of his wife, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, but her gift clearly wasn’t good enough to make the cover.) What happens? They enter a magical cloud-filled land populated entirely by Kennedys: “‘It’s Mom!’ I saw, and almost froze. ‘There’s Uncle Bobby, Grandma Rose!’”

Right. It rhymes too.

I’m struggling to figure out who the market for this might be. I suppose there are Kennedy followers not unlike the folks who obsess over British royalty, and those people might be wishing for more drawings of Jackie O with a halo. Perhaps you’re somebody who’s finished collecting every issue of George magazine and needs a little something more. Are you one of those people? Have at it.

D.C. Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray is currently in the midst of slamming, hard, Mayor Adrian M. Fenty and his education deputies—DCPS Chancellor Michelle Rhee, Deputy Mayor Victor Reinoso, and school facilities chief Allan Allen Y. Lew—for bigfooting the legislature.

Gray, in some of his strongest anti-Fenty statements to date, called Fenty et al.’s behavior “unconscionable” from the council dais.

“This started off as a partnership, and an enthusiastic partnership, to reform District of Columbia Public Schools,” he said. “There’s been more than a few days where it’s been a nightmare.”

His remarks follow a sharply worded but largely cordial six-page July 8 letter [PDF] explaining in detail why he and colleagues chose to disapprove recent construction contracts.

“As the Councilmember from Ward 4 for six years, you can clearly appreciate the important role the Council plays in providing oversight to Executive agencies,” Gray wrote, in one of his more condescending lines.

Today, with Lew and Reinoso no-shows and with Rhee choosing to leave early (at 4:25 p.m.) rather than testify, Gray is choosing to recess rather than close the contracts hearing. He deemed the executive branch’s behavior as “either an incredibly disingenuous act or an incredibly misinformed act.”

“We are the Council of the District of Columbia, and we have a right to ask these questions,” he said.

UPDATE, 5:30 P.M.: Mayoral spokesperson Dena Iverson points out that Gray & Co. knew very well that Rhee had to leave when she did; the mayor’s office informed the council days ago that she had a prior commitment out of town. Still waiting for word on Reinoso’s alibi.

A public roundtable on D.C. Public Schools construction contracts is now underway, called by D.C. Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray, who has raised questions about the contracts to prepare facilities to receive students from closed schools next fall.

Is it another opportunity for Mayor Adrian M. Fenty to play politics with the council? Sure looks that way.

While Ward 5 Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr. gave his opening remarks, Gray informed Thomas that the mayor’s office informed him today that school facilities chief Allan Y. Lew would not be present, because he had come down with a case of laryngitis.

Said Thomas, “We have texts and e-mails. Maybe he can text his responses.”

Lew had come in for sharp questioning at a previous hearing late last month on a process some councilmembers saw as rushed and opaque. DCPS Chancellor Michelle Rhee is in attendance today and will be answering questions, though you can count on a lot of “Allan will have to get back to you on that”s, seeing as she has limited knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the contracts.

At-large council candidate Adam Clampitt issued a media advisory this morning for a “joint news conference” with fellow challenger Michael A. Brown on Monday to announce a “major development” in their campaign against incumbent Carol Schwartz.

Sources tell LL that Clampitt will announce that he his is ending his campaign and endorsing Brown. The presser is scheduled for noon Monday at Eastern Market.

Clampitt raised a lot of eyebrows early in the race by raising thousands from well-heeled donors to the mayoral run of Adrian M. Fenty, leading to scuttlebutt that Clampitt, a 33-year-old public relations executive and Capitol Hill resident, would be anointed by Fenty to oust Schwartz. That support from the mayor seems not to have materialized; his most recent campaign finance report showed Clampitt’s campaign to be some $12,000 in debt. He marched in last week’s Palisades 4th of July Parade with about a half-dozen supporters—a quite smaller contingent than he brought out a year ago as a virtual unknown.

Calls to Clampitt and Brown were not immediately returned.

UPDATE, 12:15 P.M.: Says Clampitt, “No comment.”

UPDATE, 12:30 P.M.: Brown says he has no comment, “not at this time.”

Photo by Darrow Montgomery