Sure, the Nats season ended a while ago. But it makes sense that the Lerners would reach out while local sports fans are planning their sports ticket budgets and deleting Dan Snyder and Redskins.

But this Nationals ad is horrible.

After an all-glowing recap of the 2009 season -- two of these three made the cut: Zimmerman/Dunn had big homer totals, Stephen Stasburg signed, and the Nats had THE WORST RECORD IN ALL OF BASEBALL -- the ad copy climaxes with "[W]e can all see why Washington, DC is truly becoming the home of the National Pastime in the Nation's Capital."

Washington, DC is the home of baseball in the Nation's Capital? Who knew?

And who wrote that?

***

WUSA is also kicking the Redskins when they're down.  Advertisements for the local CBS affiliate that ran during the Ravens game yesterday urged Skins fans to "sound off " about the team.

"We won't throw away your signs!" said the voiceover.

Ouchie wouchie! Didn't you WUSA guys used to be covert "partners" with Snyder and help him out with all his infomercials? Guess the contract's up.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reebok boasts of its butt-enhancement powers? Shannon Sharpe goes after the Redskins? Dan Marino goes after the Redskins? 66 percent of CBS viewers go after the Redskins? Dan Marino says Bill Cowher ain't gonna go for the Redskins? Heath Shuler has MVP award taken away from him by Politico? Ethics panel still gunning for Shuler? Chest bumping on the sidelines can get you suspended?)

***

Another commercial during the Ravens broadcast that showed the decline of Western Civilization came from Reebok, which is trying now to sell shoes using the motto: "Better legs and a better butt with every step."

***

The national folks got into the Skins-kicking swing of things, too: CBS pre-game show panelist Shannon Sharpe showed up on the set wearing a bag over his head, and carrying a sign that said "Fire Dan, In Bill We Trust" with an arrow pointing at fellow panelist and likely target of Dan Snyder affection Bill Cowher.

Sharpe's get up inspired another CBS pundit, Dan Marino, to jump in that because of the disastrous managment in Washington, the Skins won't be able to sign a "big time" coach.

Marino didn't mention Cowher by name, but the implication was clear. Given the high stakes, Marino wouldn't have said that without consulting Cowher. Cowher just smiled after Marino spoke.

Guess that means The Countdown to Cowher™ won't ever make me rich.

Also, 66 percent of the respondents to a CBS poll about what ails the Redskins said the biggest problem is the owner.

***

Heath Shuler almost had a good week. On Tuesday, Shuler (D-NC) led the Congressional football team to an overtime win over the Capitol Police squad in a charity football game at the DC Armory. Shuler was 29-45 with five TDs.

"It kind of brings back old times,"  Shuler told the Asheville Citizen-Times, his hometown paper. By "old times," he means his days playing QB with the Swain County High School Maroon Devils, not the Redskins.

For his performance, the Citizen-Times reported, Shuler was named the game's MVP.

But maybe the lawmen will laugh last. While Shuler was celebrating his finest football moments in DC, the Washington Post reported that investigators with a House of Representatives ethics panel are still looking into a land deal Shuler was involved in back in Knoxville, where he was once a superstar with the University of Tennessee and later a real estate honcho.

From the Post piece:

Before he was elected to Congress in 2006, Shuler invested in a real estate development called the Cove at Blackberry Ridge near Knoxville. The investment is worth from $5 million to $25 million, according to his financial disclosure reports. In August 2008, the [Knoxville] News-Sentinel reported that the TVA gave the Cove waterfront rights to build a boat dock in exchange for other land the real estate venture owned. The swap was made while Shuler sat on a House transportation subcommittee that oversaw the operations of the TVA, an entity chartered by Congress to manage the Tennessee Valley and its resources.

Worse yet, the Post originally misspelled his name ("Schuler") in the story's headline, and closed out the story with: "A call to Schuler seeking comment was not returned."

But the harshest blow came in Politico, which reported that Rep. Anthony Wiener (D-NY), and not Shuler, was actually named the charity football game's most valuable player.

And, yes, Politico also misspelled his name. From Politico's game write-up: “Heath Schuler has the offense humming after a sluggish beginning,” an announcer at the game said.

(More bad news on the Shuler beat late last week, Benjie Shuler, Heath Shuler's brother and former business partner in Heath Shuler Real Estate, what was once a powerhouse Knoxville agency, declared bankruptcy. In court filings, Benjie Shuler, who also was a reciever at the University of Tennessee while Heath was QB, listed assets of $265,000 and liabilities of over $10 million.)

***

Sunday's Washington Post has a maddening story about a superstar running back from Broad Run High School facing a suspension from an upcoming playoff game for chest bumping teammates after touchdowns. One of the chest bumps occurred on the sideline, the Post reported. Any player who gets two personal foul calls has to sit out a game. Broad Run's next game will come in the playoffs. Broad Run coaches have appealed the suspension, and Northern Virginia athletic officials have the opportunity to reverse the call.

Perhaps some facts have been twisted as the tale made its way from the sideline to the Sunday paper.

But if that story's legit, if a chest bump on the sidelines after a touchdown will indeed ruin a player's season, whoever made that call should never be allowed to work with kids again.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

The most interesting reading in the 14-page pullout comes in one of its few advertisements. Main Line Animal Rescue, a Philadelphia group that apparently specializes in saving "Bully Breeds" of dogs, bought space in the section.

The ad copy, placed alongside a photo of what I assume is a pit bull:

Attention Football Fans: Philadelphia is playing Washington on October 26.

Every time Michael Vick is tackled during the game, Main Line Animal Rescue will donate 5 bags of dog food to your local animal shelter.

"Because there are no second chances on an empty stomach."

Consider volunteering at your local shelter on the day of the game. Spend some time walking, or brushing, or bathing, or hugging a homeless Pit Bull.

Not exactly the bounty on players' heads that led to the famous "Body Bag Game" between the Skins and Eagles in 1990, but, still.

My sense is the outrage against Vick has waned so much and so fast that by the time the Eagles get to DC, there'll be a lot more talk about the wildcat offense than dog killing.

(By the way: The other ads in the Post's football section are: four small spots for imported car dealers, one for a job fair, and a half-pager, the biggest in the section) announcing a blowout chain saw sale. Men! Men! Men!)

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Wilbon already blames Snyder for lousy season? Kornheiser speaks no Snyder? Unseld whupped Yao's dad? The Asian Bias™ in golf affects White House visit? The Nats Countdown to 100 Losses starts now? Pedro Martinez already has more wins than most Nats?)

***

Back in the regular sports section, the Post runs a column, headlined "Hot Topic," that has  Michael Wilbon downgrading his record forecast for the 2009 Skins from 11-5 to 8-8. Wilbon says he ordered the recount because of his paper's fabulous series on the Redskins selling tickets to scalpers and suing down-on-their-luck grannies.

But where the heck did 11-5 come from in the first place?

***

Wilbon's PTI partner Tony Kornheiser restarted his radio show yesterday. I listened to most of the two-hour broadcast, but didn't hear any discussion of Dan Snyder's ticket issues. Far as I and Wilbon can tell, those are still the hottest topics in town. Kornheiser now works at WTEM-AM, owned by Snyder.

After Kornheiser's show, I flipped to rival sportstalker WJFK-FM, for Washington Post columnist Mike Wise's program, in time to hear Wise's sidekick say, "Call us if you hate the owner!"

WJFK isn't owned by Snyder.

***

The Bullets/Wizards are in China again. A delegation led by Wes Unseld, Gheorghe Muresan, Caron Butler and Randy Foye (a newcomer who is only less familiar in the provinces than in DC) showed up in Beijing to remember a pioneering barnstorming tour of the Far East arranged 30 years ago by Abe Pollin.

No team had ever been to China before the Bullets. Awesome trivia from Unseld: The former Great Wall of the Bullets' front line remembers playing all those years ago in Shanghai against Yao Ming's dad, a year before the future Houston Rockets center was born.

Pollin helped make the world a lot smaller than it was back then.

***

Which makes this a perfect time for an update on...the Asian Bias™ in Golf! Greg Norman, who was in town for a White House visit yesterday, sees that golf's future is in the East. The Australian legend is captaining the "International" squad in the upcoming (and always bogus) President's Cup, a silly nationalistic links exercise that was founded in Northern Virginia at the Lansdowne resort but will be held next month at Harding Park in San Francisco. While meeting with the president, Norman was taking a lot of stuff from golf fans for using his captain's choice to put Ryo Ishikawa, a 17-year-old from Japan, on the un-American President's Cup team. Ishikawa will join Y.E. Yang of Korea.

The USA squad's proof of the Asian Bias™ comes with Anthony Kim and, of course, Woods.

Last week, 17-year-old Byeong-Hun An of Seoul, South Korea, became the youngest golfer ever to win the 2009 U.S. Amateur championship. The tournament record for youth was previously held by Danny Lee, also a South Korean native, who was just 18 when he won the 2008  U.S. Amateur. Lee broke the record set by the Godfather of the Asian Bias™ in golf: Tiger Woods.

The 2009 U.S. Women's Amateur Championship was won recently by Jennifer Song of Daejon, Korea.

Cheap Seats Daily, intrigued as all get out by the Eastern dominance of what just yesterday was the lily-whitest sport in the history of man, promises to continue to hype the Asian Bias™ until Lou Dobbs treats our reports like real news.

***

The Nats lost to the Phils, 5-3.

Let the Countdown to 100 Losses begin! Washington is now 47-91, and would have to go 16-8 to avoid a third season in a row with triple-figure losses.

That ain't gonna happen: 18 of the remaining games are against teams above .500, including nine vs. either the Phillies or Dodgers.

Pedro Martinez got the win for Philadelphia. If memory serves, Martinez hadn't thrown a pitch this season before last week. But he now has a 4-0 record. Before yesterday's September call-ups, which included Shairon Martis (5-3 with the Nats prior to being sent to the minors), Washington had only one pitcher on the roster with more wins in 2009 than Martinez -- John Lannan, now at 8-10. Amazing...

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Somebody should tell Sam Rogers that feuds are good for radio. He won't take my word for it.

Rogers is Senior Vice President and Market Manager of CBS Radio for the DC cluster, which means he's the boss at WJFK, the city's new sportstalk station and rival to Dan Snyder's WTEM.

Rogers' station also tried to create a rivalry with Snyder in the parking realm. But Snyder crushed him right out of the gate.

Background: Last week, WJFK, which calls itself "The Fan" in its catchy/creepy jingles, wildly promoted the FanZone, a parking lot near FedExField. The lot was marketed as an anti-Snyder haven, where on Redskins game days there would be no tailgating restrictions and folks could pretty much come as early and stay as late as they want. Parking at the FanZone, according to the WJFK pitch, would also cost a lot less than Snyder charges.

Within days of putting the passes on sale, the WJFK web site announced that FanZone season passes were sold out.

But come the day of the Skins first preseason game against Pittsburgh, there was no such thing as the FanZone. Folks who followed directions to the WJFK lot instead found what was called the Copper Lot, a parking lot operated by Snyder. Karl Swanson, a spokesman for the Redskins and Snyder, told me a couple days ago that WJFK started selling parking passes before it secured the rights to operate a lot on the alleged FanZone site. Snyder swooped in and leased the land WJFK wanted, thereby kaboshing Rogers' first big promotion for a station that was supposed to be Snyder's competition.

Crushing blow, right, Mr. Rogers?

"This was a business deal, it didn't go my way," Rogers tells me. "That's it. No story here."

"Didn't go your way? 'No story'?" I ask Rogers, unable to hide my disdain for calm professionalism.

I'm thinking: You market yourself as the anti-Snyder, and watch as Snyder shows you who's boss by taking over your new sport station's first big promotion, and all you can say is it didn't go your way?

So I ask, Isn't it more accurate to say that Snyder, the owner of the rival sportstalker, crushed you guys?

"I wouldn't say that," he says. "Just a business deal. All the parties are discussing the matter. No story."

But but but...Isn't it also true that there's a posting on DCRTV today that says Snyder's WTEM has jumped ahead of WJFK in the local radio ratings, with Snyder in 19th place and WJFK in 20th? That's gotta hurt! It hurts, right?

"No," says Rogers. "You don't look at the overall audience. We're doing fine. I'm very pleased with WJFK."

Dang.

Please, somebody convince Rogers that a big ol' public brouhaha with Snyder would be a boon for his station. Or, well, I'm gonna have to find something else to write about.

And things only worsened when MSNBC made Olbermann, along with Chris Matthews (fratty anchorman extraordinaire ), lead anchors for its election coverage. During their reign of pettiness, the two lambasted poor Joe Scarborough on air (when they weren't consumed with crashing their own egos mid broadcast), and though I'd rather live in the third world than Scarborough Country, Olbermann and Matthews were acting like douchebag bullies.

Well, the bullying is over. Olbermann and Matthews have been demoted to analysts, and David Gregory has assumed the anchor role. Let's hope Gregory has the gumption to allot the two only as much time is needed for viewers to remember why MSNBC took away their cushy chairs in the first place.

Really? So is she the one who decided that Bristol, the five-months pregnant teen, would carry youngest-for-now Trig (even their names are tragic) throughout the big coming out party in Ohio last week?

How come the snowmobile racing musher husband stood hands-free while poor poor Bristol was saddled with Trig? One on her and one in her, as Dolly Parton would say, all morning long?

Could it be because the little one and the huge blanket she had wrapped around her covered the round mound at her midsection ?

Poor Trig was a beard?

Sure he was. That's pretty sick, ain't it?

'Happy, proud American Obama' spoke with the same tone and demeanor as 'Enough is enough, fed-up with the status quo Obama,' and it just wasn't working for me. Plus, the fascinating life story doesn't pop as much the three hundredth time around. Not his fault. But true nonetheless.

When it comes to oratorical ability, I'm throwing my full support behind Pam.

Oh Pam, how you wooed me with your mama-don't-take-no-shit-from-no-one attitude, disillusioned Republicanism, and undaunted appearance in front of 85,000 people. Pam's story definitely fit squarely in with the democratic narrative. She is from Pittsboro North Carolina. She and her husband raised four children together, both worked, and led generally content lives. Then, her husband lost his job and, consequently, the family's medical insurance. Hard times fell on Pam and Mr. Pam. (Her last name is actually Cash-Roper.) It was time to speak out for CHANGE. "I am a lifelong republican who voted for Nixon, Reagan, Bush, and Bush, but I can't afford four more years like this," she told the crowd. "I can't do it! I can't do it!"

Anyway, just watch the video. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you could hug Pam through the youtube video. (And for more info on Pam, check this out.)

You decide the winner in the comments! Here’s my posts, Mathis’ posts, and Nakamura’s posts.

Now before you cast your vote, ask yourself this: What other blogger has brought you poorly lit video of Ward 5 Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr. doin’ “Da Butt”:

LL shot that at a poolside party Tuesday night thrown by Pepco, where guests were greeted by a thoroughly seersuckered Vincent B. Orange Sr., the former Ward 5 councilmember turned Pepco lobbyist, and treated to a carving station and raw bar.

Prior to Thomas’ move-busting, Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton had been getting down with about a dozen others in a “Booty Call” line dance. That prompted noted jock Thomas, standing on the sideline, to protest to LL that “he got the athletics gene but not the dancing gene.” He pointed to his mother, delegate delegation member Romaine Thomas, who was dancing with Norton and said, “She’s the dancer in the family.” He then informed a surprised LL that he had attended cotillion as a youngster.

Then the DJ spun E.U.’s go-go crossover classic, and it was off to the races. LL, meanwhile, had to explain go-go to a pair of befuddled New Mexico delegates who had wandered in.

To paraphrase All the President’s Men, that’s a good, solid piece of American journalism the Washington Post doesn’t have.

Vote away!

Plotkin was kind enough to invite LL on after not being able to personally attend his first Democratic convention since 1968. Here's the item from LL's column this week about Plotkin's sorely missed absence:

Some familiar faces are absent from the D.C. crowd this year. Not among the politicos, mind you—Councilmember Marion Barry, for one, was holding court in the Crowne Plaza lobby bar as LL was typing out this column Monday evening.

Nope, two giants of local media—WTOP’s Mark Plotkin and WRC-TV’s Tom Sherwood—were left to take it all in from home. (Covering the locals has fallen to LL, the Post’s David Nakamura; DCist’s Sommer Mathis; Leon Harris, Gordon Peterson, and Rebecca Cooper from WJLA-TV; and Patrick McGrath from WTTG-TV.)

Both sidelined reporters expressed their disappointment to LL.

Sherwood says he found out he wouldn’t be making the trip only last week, and says the decision was made for “budget reasons.” He hasn’t missed a convention, Democratic or Republican, since 1988, and he attended the ’84 Democratic affair to boot. Asked what he’ll miss most, Sherwood said, “This sounds corny, but showing the local people in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia a part of history.”

Asked about the budget situation, Sherwood’s boss, VP of news Camille Edwards, says, “I don’t really discuss things like that,” though she admitted that budgets are tightening across the local news industry. Channel 4, she says, has plenty of NBC network resources to draw on to cover the local delegation.

Yeah right: LL can’t wait for that Brian Williams one-on-one with Harry Thomas Jr.

Plotkin declined to blame the decision not to send him or any other in-house WTOP reporter to what he calls “the quadrennial highlight of my life” on any budget pressures, saying station owner Bonneville International has “plenty of resources.”

“Conventions have been a part of my life,” he says, having attended every Democratic confab since 1968—that’s 10 of ’em—plus four Republican shindigs to boot. The listeners aren’t going to go without in this age of corporate synergy, he says, with reports coming into the powerhouse news station from reporters who get their paychecks from CNN, CBS, and Politico.

“Maybe the benefit of all this is there’s less Plotkin to listen to,” he says. “Less Plotkin is more!”

It's unclear whether Fenty will remain for Obama's speech; LL is told he has seats higher in the stadium.

Also here this evening: former mayor Marion Barry, meaning the former civil-rights leader will witness an African-American accept the presidential nomination of a major party for the first time in American history. Barry is not a delegate but is holding a "special guest" credential. Barry had not been able to attend convention sessions earlier in the week at the Pepsi Center due to a lack of credentials.

UPDATE, 7:35 P.M.: And now Fenty's gone, having exited the field level with Washington and aide John Falcicchio.

UPDATE, 11:44 P.M: LL left the field level before Obama's speech, but a source informs him that Fenty returned for the speech.

Sen. Paul Strauss and Michael D. Brown, not to mention Shadow Rep. Mike Panetta, got to back, along with several dozen guests in the glow of Heroes' Hayden Panettiere and the somewhat, um, dimmer aura of David Keith and Melissa Fitzgerald (who, incidentally, appeared at a campaign event for 2006 Ward 3 candidate Robert Gordon, who ran against Strauss.)

But the real thrill for LL was to see Dan Rather greet the crowd. He didn't address voting rights in his remarks to the crowd, but in comments to LL afterwards said, "I do know about the home-rule problem and getting the vote. It's pretty clear it needs to happen, it will happen, and it's just a question of when it's going to happen." Rather spoke fondly about his time living in Washington, from the mid-60s until the late 70s, making his home in Georgetown.

Here's a short video of Rather and Panettiere holding forth on the issue du jour:

DENVER---Yesterday, LL reported that musician and DJ Moby had expressed strong support for D.C. voting rights to Shadow Rep. Mike Panetta while at an event here at the Democratic National Convention.

Well, last night, LL was pursuing some leisure activities out in Denver's warehouse district when Moby walked by, on his way into an art gallery. LL ran him down, and while Moby said he was pressed for time---he had to DJ and Democratic Party event---he was a happy to take a minute to speak, passionately and informedly (is that a word?)---about the District's lack of a franchise:

My comment is, the District has more people than Wyoming and has no representation. It's the nation's capital and has no representation federally, or almost barely any representation federally....For the hundreds of thousands of people who live in the District, I think it's just a shame that this administration's talking about spreading democracy and spreading voting rights abroad when the people living next door don't have the same voting rights and have the same federal representation. And also, if the District becomes a state, as I do believe it should, suddenly you have two senators from the District.

LL asked if he supported the incrementalist approach favored by Eleanor Holmes Norton and D.C. Vote:

I think they should hold out. I think that everyone in the District should go on strike until they get it. Just imagine what would happen to Washington, D.C., if everybody in the District stayed home, nonviolent protest, until it became a state.

Panettiere is buds with Shadow Sen. Paul Strauss, whom she met earlier this year while lobbying Congress on saving the whales. She taped a short YouTube voting-rights PSA with Strauss at the time.

More to come.

UPDATE, 12:24 P.M.: Strauss, moments ago, promised LL there would be two additional big name "Hollywood guests." He has printed up hand cards advertising the shindig.

UPDATE, 12:38 P.M.: LL's aggressive coverage of this issue continues. Shadow Sen. Michael D. Brown reports one of the as-yet-unnamed guests was in Officer and a Gentleman and the other was in the West Wing. And, he says, there's a fourth possible guest "bigger than the other three combined," but that's not confirmed yet.

UPDATE, 2:21 P.M.: The fourth big shot? Dan Rather! He hasn't shown yet, but he is said to be on the way. Brown reports he will accompany Rather to Mile High Stadium tonight for Barack Obama's acceptance speech.

UPDATE, 3:19 P.M.: Hayden is in the house, just delivered her remarks. The other celebs are David Keith of An Officer and a Gentleman and The Great Santini, and Melissa Fitzgerald from West Wing. No Debra Winger! Dan Rather is due within minutes.

• Most prominently: Harold Ickes, the longtime Dem operative who has been among Clinton's most dogged supporters.
• Yolanda Caraway, PR strategist
• Hartina Flournoy, American Federation of Teachers
• Ben Johnson, DNC deputy chair
• Elizabeth Smith, DNC member at large
• Mona Mohib, DNC Asian Pacific Islander American caucus
• And the there's Ward 5's Harry Thomas Jr., who initially supported Clinton before making an agonizing switch to Obama.