First there was the brouhaha over ads for Kevin Smith’s upcoming movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Which is now largely being referred to as Zack and Miri in TV spots and print ads.

(Yeah, now there’s a title that would draw me in if I knew nothing else about the film. Though it would be funny to see the reactions of more sensitive viewers who buy a ticket based on the kid-friendly trailers, which make the thing look like a Meg Ryan-worthy romantic comedy instead of, well, a Kevin Smith curse-a-thon.)

But now an entire theater chain is refusing to show the movie. Granted, it’s only Utah-based Megaplex Theatres, a company that also scoffed at the idea of Brokeback Mountain sullying its screens:

The theaters are owned by Larry Miller, who in 2006 refused to screen Brokeback Mountain in his theaters, saying that it “crossed the line.” Miller is also the owner of the Utah Jazz. In an interview with today’s (Monday) New York Post, theater manager Cal Gunderson said, “We feel it’s very close to an NC-17 with its graphic nudity and graphic sex.” When the newspaper’s “Page Six” column asked Gunderson why the theater chain had no problems booking the ultra-violent Saw V, Gunderson replied, “No comment.”

So, once again, disembowelment and rampant, sadistic murder? Fine. Boobs and hot sex, even the totally faked variety (which, come to think of it, is applicable to both examples)? That’s sick, pal.

Jack Valenti would be proud.

On a related note, actors looking to break into the jizz biz can turn to a company called iPorn, which just announced its “model search”:

iPorn Executive Producer Porno, Dan Leal, stated, “We are looking for fun, exciting models who want the opportunity to be a star and join one of the fastest growing companies in the adult industry….Not only will these contracts be some of the most lucrative contracts ever offered, they will be among the most high-profile.”

Fun, exciting, and lucrative! You’re going to make it after all, kids. You’re welcome.

Naked people on bikes! Who doesn’t love that? Well, I guess anyone who doesn’t like to see how the business end of a saddle reacts with riders’ nether regions, but other than those freaks, EVERYONE!

Yes, it’s time for the third World Naked Bike Ride DC, an event on June 7 that protests car culture and dependency on foreign oil. Because nothing changes Americans’ hearts and minds like people getting bouncy-bouncy on their Bianchis.

If you’re the type of person who would normally participate in a naked biking protest but frets that a public-indecency arrest might affect your security clearance, the Web site advises wearing “a flesh colored sack or G-string.” You might want to order yours now: Excitement for this event is building, and who knows how much you’ll have to pay for your techno-merkin if you put this purchase off till the day of.

One last thing, folks: sunscreen.

Photo of the 2007 Portland, Ore. World Naked Bike Ride by BikePortland.org