Chris Rockwell, editor of the new blog, Sansconnie: DC on Schoolnights, says his site offers the city’s only unbiased nightlife agenda. “Our authors are only the truly depraved and will exploit a bar, restaurant, golf course etc. to the limits of it’s decency and legality,” he wrote in an email. Indeed! Rockwell himself, apparently on a date, dutifully reported on the prospects of picking up chicks at a gay bar. The site is looking for contributors: “We are looking for new contributors who can exhibit depraved judgment and a rapist wit. If you’ve got a murderboner then you’re perfect.” Don’t hold back!

According to a study conducted by “world-renowned scent scientist Alan Hirsch, M.D.,” founder of Chicago’s Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, banning cigarettes from bars has resulted in people smelling things other than cigarettes in bars. The study, which investigated the odors inside one smoke-free Chicago bar, was sponsored by the folks over at AXE deodorant body spray. According to AXE:

Through a series of scientific tests at a popular Chicago bar, Dr. Hirsch discovered that while the odor of cigarette smoke is gone, equally offensive aromas that were previously hidden have surfaced—and bar patrons were a major cause of the stink, with sweat appearing as one of the top odor contributors to the “bar funk.” While these tests were conducted in only one bar, the results could shed light on why other smoke-free establishments are also experiencing “bar funk.”

The study concluded that “sweat/body odor” was the fourth odor contribution to the scientific state of “bar funk” at that one bar, after “must/earth/mold,” “urine-like,” and “sour/acid vinegar.” Hmm. Did they test for the odor contribution of AXE deodorant body spray?

Photo by SuperFantastic

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Last week, I wrote my Show & Tell column about two goth nights, Spellbound and Midnight, held within blocks of each other on Saturday nights in Farragut North. A few of the comments on the piece accused me of kicking up some controversy within the goth scene with my side-by-side comparison of the competing events. “Shame on you, city paper,” wrote one reader. “Nothing informative about the djs, the promoters, the spaces….but such emphasis on stirring up ‘goth scene drama.’”

For those commenters’ benefit, I’ve drafted this totally innocuous* report of L Street’s basement goth scene.

The Dark Nights: Inside L Street’s Dueling Peaceably Co-Existing Goth Parties

On Saturday nights, there are two places where you can go to dress up like a goth and hang out with other people dressed up like goths: Midnight and Spellbound. They are really close together and both have great DJs, promoters, and spaces. Did you know that Midnight is just as good as Spellbound, and that both are just as good as any other goth party that’s ever existed anywhere, and any other goth party that’s ever existed anywhere is just as good as any other niche scene event that’s ever existed anywhere? It’s true. Insider tip: Spellbound and Midnight love each other so much that they are going to get married. But don’t take my word for it. Ask the goths!

A goth: “Midnight has cake. But sometimes I don’t want cake. Sometimes I do, though. I just can’t choose!”

Another goth: “Both are so great!!!!!1″

Now for a more comprehensive inventory of how great they both are:

Midnight: Great.

Spellbound: Same.

Got Something for Show & Tell? Send tips to show@washingtoncitypaper.com. Or call (202) 332-2100, x 473.

* completely untrue

It looks like PB&J Television’s proposed Late Night Shots reality show is really going to happen. According to the Examiner, this District ‘Hills’ is currently fielding “offers from three television stations,” and a deal is expected to be made within the next few days.

Who are the lucky instant television stars?

One thing is set in stone, however: the first cast members. They are local socialites / hotties / 20-somethings Katherine Kennedy, Krista Johnson and Sophie Pyle. Johnson’s younger sister, Alexa Johnson, may also play a role in the show. (Both Johnson sisters are alumnae of South Carolina’s College of Charleston, Kennedy graduated from Loyola Marymount and Pyle is taking a semester off from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.)

Hotties! Tell me more:

“It’s all going to be about our real lives,” said Krista Johnson, who is a partner at the Georgetown boutique We One You Two. “It’s going to be in the same vein of MTV’s ‘The Hills’ but ours is going to be more realistic.

Realistic reality? Oh, well. At least there are hotties.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.

Ever pass some new sleek club or divey pub and wonder what beers lie inside? As new bars pop up around the city, it can be hard to stay up on beer selection. So in keeping with my reputation as an enabler, here’s a few of the interweb’s finest sites to help you strike liquid gold.

Ratebeer and Beer Advocate are your best bets on finding the good  stuff. Their directory sections (called “Places” and “Beerfly,” respectively) both offer extensive reviews of bars and stores, and Ratebeer even has a neat Google Map mashup. What puts these sites at the top of the list is their community — the thorough reviewers can get down and nerdy, but these enthusiasts tend to offer the best tips on the web.

We realize it’s not all about quality, though. Save your booze dollars (or just stretch them further) with happy-hour finders like Bar DC and DC Happy Hours. There’s a panoply of these sites online, but these two have some of the more comprehensive listings. We also give kudos to the younger DrinkGuru. It seem to be still building its database, but it sports the cleanest, most navigable design of the bunch.

Meanwhile, keep an eye on Unthirsty and MappyHour. Both seem to be in beta mode, but also feature Google Maps interfaces.

We want it now: Beer Menus is the site we crave more than anything — a beautiful, simple directory of beer menus and prices all around the city. The problem? That city is New York. Damn yankees.

(Thanks in part to Webware)

Got a question about beer? E-mail the Beerspotter.

For this week’s S&T, I spoke to Bill Duggan, owner of Adams Morgan anagram bar Madam’s Organ. Since 2000, Duggan’s been sparring with the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration over the issue of occupancy in his bar: ABRA said he was limited to 99 patrons, the number of seats on his restaurant license’s certificate of occupancy; Duggan contested that he could pack up to 393 patrons in, his fire marshall approved capacity. Earlier this month, the D.C. Court of Appeals ruled in Duggan’s favor.

This isn’t the first time that Duggan has dealt with issues of occupancy. For the past decade, Duggan and Madam’s Organ have organized a beach trip for area kids to Dewey Beach, Delaware. Each year, Duggan takes 20 to 40 District kiddies, along with 10 to 15 adult volunteers, for a weekend of bonfiring, crab-hunting, and beach-housing.

Dewey Beach didn’t always like that. “The second year of the trip, I was arrested for disorderly conduct,” says Duggan. “I made sure to tell the local [authorities] that the kids were coming, and they said it would be fine. They said ‘Hey, this is 1999, not 1969.’”

But Duggan says the beach cops were ready and waiting to kill the party. “Sure enough, there they were, hiding in the bushes, waiting for us,” he says. “They didn’t like having a bunch of black kids on the beach … The beach cop, he was like the leader of the Aryan nation: starched shirt, blonde hair, white eyebrows. He kicked us off the beach.”

That’s where Duggan’s pint-sized occupancy issue comes in: “Technically, the permit said only 25 kids at the bonfire at one time. And we had 35. But they were coming and going! Some were playing on the beach, others were at the house; they weren’t all at the bonfire at one time.”

But unlike the D.C. Court of Appeals, the beach cops didn’t buy Duggan’s maneuvering. “They put me in the paddywaggon,” says Duggan. “I said, ‘Fine, but the kids are coming with me.’”

After a brief lock-up and some negotiation, Duggan was released to continue spearheading the kiddie beach adventure. According to Duggan, the experience didn’t put a damper on the kids’ summer trip. “Oh, they loved it,” he says. “They kept shouting, ‘Mr. Duggan! You got locked up!’”

Photo by Charles Steck

Last week, we reported that D.C.’s Best Dance Night would be moving on up to Club Five this Saturday. Now, it looks like the event will by moving across the street to MCCXXIII, at 1223 Connecticut Ave. NW. Club Five had its license suspended earlier this month after a stabbing occured in the club. Five was set to open again June 18th; according to ABRA, that suspension has now been extended indefinitely.

Miami Horror and Gameboy/Gamegirl are still set to play on the Nouveau Riche bill, but the move to MCCXXIII brings some changes in the event’s time, cover charges, and dress code, says DJ Gavin Holland. The details: The show starts at 10 p.m. Entry begins at $10 and jumps to $20 at midnight. The dress code, while relaxed to include sneakers, does stipulate some no-no’s. Writes Holland:

They have relaxed their normal dress code for us, sneakers are okay. However, no shorts, no sandals, and sadly no totally wacky shit. Basically, dress well by your own standards, but you don’t need to wear fancy shoes or any of that silly ‘club’ attire. You should be lookin’ snazzy for Nouveau Riche anyway, so this should be no different. My heart goes out to Life Preserver Dude from the 9:30 Club, you will not be able to wear your life preserver.

On Tuesday, downtown D.C. nightclub Platinum surrendererd its Alcoholic Beverage Control license in a hearing in front of the ABC Board. Platinum, located at 915 F Street NW, is owned by Abdul Khanu, who also owns Southwest Waterfront club H20 Restaurant & Lounge. The decision has also put a chill on Khanu’s proposed third nightclub, The Big Chill.

According to a memo from Sgt. Joseph Massey of MPD’s 1st District, which covers the neighborhoods of both Platinum and H20:

At the end of hearing, Platinum surrendered their ABC license and officially closed for good. The ABRA board decided that Mr. Abdul Khanu can hold only one ABC license in the District of Columbia (currently H20). This action places a hold on the new establishment which Mr. Kahnu was attempting to open in the 5th District (The Big Chill).

This month, D.C.’s Best Dance Night (as decreed by yours truly) will move from its station at DC9 to the bigger, badder Club 5. That means that Nouveau Riche—with DJs Gavin Holland, SteveLove, and Nacey—will now span three floors, and last from 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. Eight hours: Some might call that a “work day.” Gavin Holland was nice enough to field five questions about the nouveau Nouveau Riche, which debuts at Club Five on Saturday, June 28th.

CP: What have you guys got planned for those extra two hours?

GH: Well, to the public, it will appear that our friend Spiggy from Sleaze will be rocking the mainstage during that time. But secretly, I will be holding an introductory aerobics class on the main floor, while Steve and Nacey will be heading up a personal finance seminar in the bottle service area. Plus we expect all of our DJ friends to come by for the after-hours fun (or else!), and we hear that certain rockstars who shall remain anonymous may be heading to Five as well…

Read the rest of this entry »

This morning’s Washington Post had a rundown of the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, and one line a few paragraphs down pretty much sums up the entire article: “Weird? Totally.” So, so, so, totally, totally, totally weird. I know that Washington is “Hollywood for ugly people.” But the cast of west coast characters that showed up for Saturday night’s bash was just bizarre: newly engaged pop stars Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson, Pamela Anderson, Donatella Versace, Jenny McCarthy. Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, and Lauren Conrad from MTV’s reality show “The Hills.” I guess with these names, it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that gossip blogger Perez Hilton would make an appearance too. But, the list was enough to have me rubbing my eyes and wondering if I was still too half asleep to grasp that the entire piece was a joke. When did this happen? When did the dinner turn into…this? Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, I received this e-mail in my inbox announcing something called Shecky’s Girls Night Out. You’re invited … if you can get your priorities straight in time:

I do not envy the woman forced to choose between these two lists. True, as a sassy, independent woman, I find alcohol and frivolous purchases irresistible. But as a batshit crazy woman, I need to maintain my ongoing surveillance of my ex-boyfriend’s online photosets, and consider not drinking a latte “doing” something. Now I know what Sophie felt like.

Washingtoniennes have until April 15th to decide.

Over the past two weeks, I heard this joke three times:

Q: What do you call a sword swallower with health insurance?
A: A Canadian!

Ba-dump-ching!

In this week’s Show and Tell, I spoke with two American sword-swallowing couples about their experiences with horrific, uninsured throat injuries! Palace of Wonders employees and traveling side-show act Tyler Fyre and Thrill Kill Jill (above) and Centreville, Va. performers Charon Henning and Alex Kensington were kind enough to share their incredible injury stories (and their lame industry jokes).

Says Palace of Wonders museum director James Taylor,

Self-deprecation is a necessary element to the side-show business. Performers use massive amounts of double entendree, because that’s the way to make most of these acts palpatable to the audience: They make it seem funny so that the crowds can get past the hairs standing on the backs of their necks.

Neck hairs, step right up: Click here for a sword swallowing, fire breathing audio slideshow with Tyler and Jill.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.

Finally: Foggy Bottom’s answer to Late Night Shots. A trio of sophomores from The George Washington University have created a photo blog dedicated to the G.W. nightlife scene. The G-Scene, run by Josh Sasouness, Torrey Ripinsky, and David Spier, documents G.W. after-hours through candid photography and even more candid sexual innuendo! (Full disclosure: As a G.W. student, I personally delivered David Spier’s laundry to his freshman dorm while working part-time for laundry service Soapy Joe’s).

The site celebrated its kick-off last Thursday with a party at Lotus Lounge. Hey, do you guys think you can use your fake I.D.’s to buy me some beer?

From the editors:

If your picture is not on the site…you are wishing it would be…and if your picture is up on the site…you’re wishing you would have smiled better…or worn more clothes. This site is just a comic strip of the life at GW…if you can’t laugh at that..then you have no sense of humor. Everyone can talk all they want but at the end of the day this site makes celebrities out of kids who think they’re already celebrities. This site is immature, at best, but you know what…you check this site once a day, at least. So who are you kidding?

This message is one part disclaimer, one part humor, one part satire, and one part social commentary, and one part fuck you.

This quote, via The Hatchet, from freshman Lindsey Pace, pretty much sums it up: “To be honest, G-scene is lame,” Pace said on her way into Lotus. “It’s kind of high-school.” (emphasis mine).

In this week’s Show & Tell, I profile Jae Ellis (pictured) and Allen Bickoff, childhood friends who overcame broken engagements, college sexual dry spells, and crippling “nice guy syndrome” to become Reston’s resident romance experts. Ellis and Bickoff are co-founders of AskRomeo.com, a dating and relationship advice outfit that helps (so far, only heterosexual) men and (yes, sometimes even) women find dates through group seminars, private coaching sessions, and, in extreme cases, week-long sleepovers in the pair’s Reston apartment.

Though AskRomeo.com markets its services to both men and women, their advice tends toward the masculine–dragon-slaying, fire-fighting, Top Gun masculine. Indeed, 80 percent of AskRomeo’s one-on-one clients are men. “Being men, a lot of the stuff that we put together comes from a male perspective,” says Bickoff. “We were never women that needed help, so we don’t know what that transformation is like.”

Michael Karlan, whose social networking site Professionals In The City partners with AskRomeo.com to provide its relationship courses to local singles, agrees that AskRomeo.com “tends to be a more male-centered event.” But Bickoff says they’re working on it: Bickoff, Ellis, and their female instructors are currently conducting research for a female-specific curriculum.

A preview, after the jump:

(Photo by Darrow Montgomery)

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