Dino in Cleveland Park (3435 Connecticut Ave., NW) is, like, the Michael Phelps of Restaurant Week, truly unbelievable and smoking the competition. Really, you say? Can Dino be that good? Can Dino be completely and utterly peerless?

Tell me about the menu: Everything’s on it, Phelps Phans, not just three paltry dishes for each course. The only up-charge is for some ridiculously large steak. If you want some ridiculously large steak, why are you at a “rustic Italian” joint in Cleveland Park? Why are you not home watching Michael Phelps listen to his iPod?

Rather stay home and watch Michael Phelps listen to his iPod while Rowdy Gaines endlessly oogles him? Restaurant Week at Dino is Restaurant Month, through the end of August. Phew! Phelps!

How about the booze? Wine list is large. It’s on a clipboard. There’s another edited, annotated version for non-sommeliers. It includes clues like “explosive” and “bracing.” So does Rowdy Gaines when he’s oogling Michael Phelps. Go with wine, which comes in a 5 oz. or 8 oz. pour. I started with a G&T while waiting for a friend and it was just shy of $11. It was “bracing” and all, but not worth $11 and not worth missing Michael Phelps swim a 200 IM heat, winning while still conserving energy.

What if I like cheese as much as I like Michael Phelps? You’re totally in luck. Instead of the graham-nut apple crumble topped with black peppercorn gelato, you can get a selection of cheeses for your third course. But why would you want to? Only Frenchies do that and did you see the way Michael Phelps‘ relay team SMASHED the Frenchies in the 4 by 100? Because Rowdy Gaines did and he thought it was AWESOME. U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!

Can I have some more booze please? Yes, yes you can and—get this—it’s free! Dino, in an unprecedented RW move, offers a complimentary pour of dessert wine, grappa, or (for the non-boozer) limoncello. Michael Phelps would order the limoncello, Rowdy Gaines? Total grappa guy. You decide.

So how’s the food? O-M-G!!! O-M-G!! It was like Michael Phelps did a flipturn in my mouth! Get the caprese salad. The heirloom tomatoes are gold-medal contenders right now. By next week, they may be only bronze, but next week Michael Phelps will be the greatest human being of all time and you can again leave the house.

After more than 30 years of working in the Defense Department, the last five spent at the Pentagon dealing with issues related to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Judy Kopff is taking more seriously her job as a clown.

Her last day at the office of the Assistant Deputy Under Secretary of Defense (Logistics & Materiel Readiness - Program Support) was yesterday. In her farewell note to colleagues, she writes: “I now plan to become a full-time volunteer clown and spend time during the week doing what I’ve had time to do only on weekends for the past few years: bringing smiles to the faces of children and children-at-heart.”

Kopff, who has brought her act, along with her husband, to NIH Children’s Inn, Children’s Hospital, Georgetown Hospital’s pediatric ward, and INOVA Fairfax’s pediatric ward, among other places, now plans to spend the bulk of her clown time at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. At Walter Reed, she feels a connection to the wounded vets and their families: the people her former job, in some way, affected.

She’s careful with the balloons around some, though. They pop. “So you can imagine the trauma that could bring up, especially if you’re a patient just back from Iraq or Afghanistan. So we’re careful. We ask. Or we just do magic tricks,” she says.

Sometimes she’ll ask patients what other VIPs, besides her, have visited. Some say the Secretary of Defense. “Oh, he’s my boss,” she’ll say. “But, to be honest, they’re more impressed with the Redskins cheerleaders.”

No matter. Kopff, 61, still plans to go often, driving from her Cleveland Park house to Mologne House on the grounds of Walter Reed, where she arrives in her getup, complete with a 3-foot baloon hat she gives away at each visit and clown shoes dating from the 1950s. She doesn’t wear face paint, since “some children and, really some adults, are afraid of a clown with face paint.”

The kids at Walter Reed, most of whom are dependents of the soldiers, “love it.” The parents welcome the distraction. Soldiers alone in a room will get the full clown treatment if they’re up for it. “There was this one guy, very handsome, probably in his mid-20s, about 6-5, in a wheelchair and missing a leg. He was outside smoking with his mom and yelled to me: ‘Hello, Clown. If you ever want to get rid of those shoes, I’m a size 16….I can take one of them.’ So they make me laugh sometimes.”

Kopff does more than clown for the vets. Since last December, she’s been collecting music and movies for them. She and her husband are no longer accepting VHS tapes (”my husband said, ‘Enough, already’”), but they will take any DVDs, DVD players, or CDs and donate them either to Walter Reed or the the D.C. VA Medical Center. She keeps a big box on her front porch on Newark Street NW as a dropoff. Got media you’d like to pile in? E-mail Judy: jkopff[at]aol[dot]com. Maybe if you’re nice, she’ll make you a poodle.

Last night on my evening stroll I walked by MPD cars parked at every intersection of Garfield Street in Woodley Park from Cleveland to Wisconsin and at most intersections of Macomb Street from Wisconsin down to Connecticut Ave. At one point, cops (including one in a truancy van) flipped on their lights and blocked traffic on Macomb. I figured the prez had something doing at the Cathedral, but that’s apparently not the case. Lots of other people are wondering what the deal was on the Cleveland Park listserv.

Enter MPD’s 2nd District Commander Mark Carter with the answer. He replied: “There was a dignity movement scheduled to come through the area.”

Well I’m really glad dignity is moving through Northwest D.C. But does anyone know what the H was going on there last night? I’ve a call out to Carter and will update if he calls me back.

UPDATE: OK, OK. I was poking a bit of fun. Yes, Carter meant “dignitary,” according to 2nd District Officer Keisha Anderson, who did call me back and let me know that there were “numerous” dignataries from several countries moving through the city last night. She could not say for what, primarily, she said, because she didn’t know.

In our ever-vigilant vigilance of what is happening at the ol’ Park n’ Shop in Connecticut, D.C., City Desk has learned that Potomac River Running is moving into the former Whatsa Bagel spot, with a possible opening in October. This news comes by way of Josh Hart, elected in June to the ANC 3C04. Hart says the store that’s owned by Northern Virginia runners-entrepreneurs has signed a lease at 3513 Connectictut Ave. NW for its first District outpost. The other stores are in Arlington (Ballston), Burke, Reston, and Ashburn. Want to hear what Fenty ‘rents Phil and Jan have to say about another local-owned shop opening near their customer base? Too bad. An employee over there says they’re on vacay. No call back, either, from one of the Potomac River Running owners, Cathy Pugsley. But keep it dialed in right here for all your struggling stripmall news.

But don’t worry, CPers! It’s reopening Friday night with a new name and new management. Paragon Thai is part of the “Thai Tanium restaurant group” according to its Web site. I found out from a manager at Thai Tanium in Gaithersburg that the group is just the two restaurants for now and that the owner of Paragon Thai is a partner at the Gaithersburg outlet.

None of the five other Sala Thais in the D.C. region are changing ownership, according to a manager at the P Street Sala Thai in Dupont Circle.

The new menu isn’t up, but if it resembles the menu at Thai Tanic, it seems Connecticut, D.C., is relatively safe from too much change. Whew!

First the out-of-town eggers, now this disturbing news from the Cleveland Park listserv:

Not only have eggings taken place since about 3 weeks ago or so, but obscenities have been chalked onto sidewalks. And another thing: I’m sorry to have to go into details on this, but sticky-backed sanitary pads have been left on sidewalks and grassy areas in the Ordway Street/34th Place area. One was stuck to a construction barrier and had a red swastika painted on it. One such pad had a red jelly matter spread on it and was left in the grassy curb space. These have been cleaned up by residents.

No word yet from police on any investigation. I really do hope it was jelly, probably some unfamiliar brand.

A poster on the Cleveland Park message board alerted neighbors today of an incident of mischief in which eggs were thrown at homes, in one case breaking a window. He did some sleuthing and discovered an “empty egg carton with an unfamiliar brand (not typical of the local grocery stores).” The perps must have come from a neighborhood were people buy those other eggs.

Today a Cleveland Park resident posted on her neighborhood listserv a simple request:

“We are seeking advice on purchasing a two-person hammock on a wood stand — not a hammock that ties to a tree at both ends — for our backyard. We have reviewed a number of web sites that show attractive two-person hammocks but have no first-hand experience. Please respond off-line with advice on pros and cons of hammocks. I would be particularly interested in trying one out in a neighbor’s yard if possible.”

Do you really need to try out a hammock? Isn’t that just a little obssessive? I immediately thought of mocking such a request as this poster does not appear concerned about Tim Russert’s passing, flooding in Iowa or this really important news. But then I thought: Hammocks Are Awesome.

Not enough people have hammocks in their backyards. People often end up with this kind of crap. And I hear from NPR that with gas prices so high, people are saving money by using their backyards to grow things like vegetables. The backyard doesn’t have to be just another workspace. It can be used for relaxing!

Sioban Farey, she of the incensed, wordy postings regarding the planned closing of the National Cathedral’s greenhouse, is deep in the weeds on this issue now. Since City Desk broke the news the greenhouse would close June 29, Farey and between 65 and 300 other incensed plant-lovers (her estimates) have been busy organizing to stop the insanity.

They’ve launched a rudimentary Web site, savethegreenhouse.org (upgrades are coming), and Farey has been on the horn with the Washington Post (a weekend story is promised) and NBC 4 (news tonight at 6 or 11, she thinks). It was on the front page of the Northwest Current (can’t link to it, sorry) and, well, they are doing this thing; they are going to keep that greenhouse open.

The Cathedral, which has already handed out virtual pink slips to the greenhouse employees, does not appear to be budging. The associate dean, Margaret Bergan Davis, has said (I’m paraphrasing) that cuts need to be made, new visions have to be realized, the greenhouse is not part of said new visions, so good luck, Sioban Farey. Davis left a message on Farey’s machine about all the other green programs going on that still are a part of the Cathedral’s vision. Farey was not impressed.

Farey has said, well, Farey has said a lot. In a 45-minute conversation late this morning, she brought up Darfur, 9/11, the snipers, the Walter Reed scandal, global warming (natch), and the stress our nation’s decision makers are under. (Plants reduce stress. There are studies. She could find them.) For all of these reasons and many more—including people like to buy plants and herbs at the greenhouse—Farey thinks this is a cause worth fighting for.

“I read the strategic report yesterday. They [the Cathedral officials] want more diverse, younger participants. We’re moving into a more enlightened green period. Even if it’s John McCain, it’s going to be more progressive environmentally. America is rejoining the international community….I’ve been working on planet change the last couple of years out of my own personal interest…This is the nation’s church in the nation’s capital and what they’re doing is cutting the tiny greenhouse loved by lots and lots of people….”

Farey of Chevy Chase, D.C. side, says she has also been enlisting “establishment” people, one of whom calls what’s happening “absolutely disgusting” and another of whom promised to pull $1,000 out of her pocket right then and there “and she said she has a friend who’d be willing to contribute considerably more.”

Yet this is not just a greenhouse for the matrons of Cleveland and Glover Parks, she attests. Latinos shop there for the specialized herbs and people “make pilgrimages” there on a regular basis.

In other words, watch out Margaret Bergan Davis. You’re going to have to deal with this one for awhile yet.

(photo by Just Chaos)

Last week, the National Cathedral announced it would be cutting 15 percent of its work force, or 33 jobs, as part of both a new strategic plan and the reality of an economic downturn. Margaret Bergan Davis, associate dean of the Cathedral, confirms the greenhouse employees are among the cuts and that the greenhouse itself will close June 29.

This has some in the neighborhood a little worked up. Sioban Farey writes the “Cathedral greenhouse and nursery is too valuable to our community to lose…we need to find ways that we could work with the Cathedral to keep it open for many reasons….”

The small greenhouse, in need of repair even to an indifferent observer and located on the south side of the Cathedral grounds, is more than a retail store, Farey contends. In a pitch to fellow members (some 6,400 of them) on the Cleveland Park listserv, Farey argues they can work with the cathedral’s staff to reverse the decision.  “It is absoulutely congruent with the Cathedral’s mission to minister to all people of all faiths and none—what is more universal than plants/nature?”

Davis says that while she appreciates the appreciation of the surrounding neighborhoods, the decision will stand.

“I know the loss of the greenhouse is sad for many peoople,” she says. “I hope they understand that the greenhouse is from an era when the Cathedral needed that structure to grow its own plants and flowers. With the many different garden centers, the Home Depots in the area, etc., as beautiful and wonderful as the people are there, the idea of having plants for sale truly is not part of the foundational mission for the future,” she says.

Davis declined to say how many people who now work at the greenhouse will be laid off. She also said that the stragic plan cited as the primary reason for the changes was realeased 18 months ago, so some of these changes have been coming for some time.

Foster Brothers Coffee, 3515 Connecticut Ave., in the old Park & Shop strip of Cleveland Park officially joins the rest of the dead soldiers in the neighborhood, including the next-door Whatsa Bagel, which closed more than a year ago. The coffeeshop had been on life support for some time, but along with So’s Your Mom in Adams Morgan, Foster’s was one of the few places left you could still score a Whatsa Bagel bagel.

Rumors about the closing are aflyin’ on the Cleveland Park listserv, to wit:

The unfortunate part to this story is the women who work there had little heads up and were kept in the dark as late as Friday. After the original message was posted Wednesday, I stopped by that night to check in with the staff I know and the owner had yet to say a word to them. As of Friday night,they were only told that there were “negotiations.”

Based on the current number of empty storefronts in our four retail sections on Connecticut (five counting Fosters), the length of vacancy (three have been empty more than a year), and type of business that has replaced three previously empty locations (CVS expansion, Bubbles Salon, and Foot Solutions are all
multistate operations of various size) it appears that the rents and conditions (mostly small spaces, some requiring a lot of work) are not practical for a local, independent business to be profitable in our neighborhood verses other sections of DC, VA, and MD. I remember the wish lists from previous related
discussions (hardware store, book store were two mentioned multiple times) and unless significant tax breaks are offered, I think we may need to reconsider what type of businesses can realistically thrive in Cleveland Park and support the local restaurants and businesses we *do* have.

This, after the epic battle regarding whether or not Cosi should be allowed to occupy the space that was Blockbuster’s on Connecticut between Ordway and Porter. For more on that sticky subject, check this analysis by Bill Adler, owner of the listserv and neighborhood advocate.

This afternoon, the D.C. Council’s public works and environment committee voted to strip $2 million meant to reconstruct Klingle Road NW from Mayor Adrian M. Fenty’s budget proposal. Furthermore, the committee voted to add language to budget legislation requiring the road to remain closed, effectively overturning a 2003 council vote to reopen the road.

For LL’s take on the whole sordid story and how it got to this point, read this.

Committee chair and Ward 1 councilmember Jim Graham supported spending the money, as did Ward 4’s Muriel Bowser. Ward 3’s Mary Cheh, Ward 7’s Yvette Alexander, and at-large member Kwame R. Brown opposed doing so. Ward 8’s Marion Barry, though not a committee member, also showed up to speak in support of keeping the road closed.

The full council is free to revisit the decision when the budget legislation moves forward next month.

Updates to come.

UPDATE, 3:50 P.M.: A subsequent amendment by Cheh moves the $2 million in local money to alley repairs and earmarks another $2 million out of the District’s federal funds for environmental remediation of Klingle Valley and construction of a recreation trail.

UPDATE, 4:17 P.M.: After the markup ended, Graham vowed to take the matter to the full council at the May 13 budget session. He also said he intends to hold a public “roundtable” on the Klingle issue in the two weeks interim. “I think there’s going to be a lot of discussion,” he says. During the hearing, Graham had proposed delaying any vote until such a roundtable could be held. Cheh & Co. voted it down; “The public had had ample time….I don’t know anything that’s been debated more than Klingle Road,” she said.

UPDATE, 7:30 P.M.: The Fenty response, from spokesperson Carrie Brooks: “The Mayor will defer to the judgment of the members of the Committee on Public Works and the Environment on this issue. Having served as a councilmember for six years, he certainly appreciates the legislature’s role in shaping the District’s budget.”

In this week’s column, LL detailed the political machinations beneath the latest resurrection of the interminable Klingle Road dispute. In the process of counting the votes on a $2 million budget line item to move forward with road reconstruction, LL chose to count At-Large Councilmember Kwame R. Brown as a “Spineless Wind-Twister” thanks to his comments in favor of further debate of an issue that has been debated for 17 years.

Well, yesterday, Brown called LL up and gave him an earful for lumping him in with Ward 8 Councilmember Marion S. Barry Jr. in that category. LL visited Brown’s office and listened as Brown explained his deep convictions—and campaign promises—against spending local money on Klingle Road repairs.

So there you have it folks: LL is officially pulling Brown from the Spineless Wind-Twisters and putting him amoung the proud ranks of the Bleeding-Heart Tree-Huggers. That’s brings the running count to eight anti-road votes, four pro-roaders, and one unknown.

Brown’s conviction also means that the mayor’s $2 million Klingle Road line item isn’t going to make it out of the council’s committee on public works and the environment. Committee chair and Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham favors spending the money, as does Ward 4’s Muriel Bowser, but the other three committee members—Mary Cheh of Ward 3, Yvette Alexander of Ward 7, and Brown—are all now unequivocally on the record against it.

Look for that $2 million to be directed elsewhere at the committee’s April 30 budget markup.

Photo of Klingle Road by Darrow Montgomery

From the Cleveland Park message board: The solicitation of “neighbors” to attend a “very special evening to help educate your heart, your mind, and your palate. This is an opportunity to learn more about homelessness–and about wine. Very strange–yes, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourselves and learn what you personally can do when you encounter someone who is homeless.”

I love the “educate your heart” phrase. I love the timidity of “encounter someone who is homeless.” No wonder the numbers of homeless people are down in the District!

But where does the wine come in? Well, the Cleveland Park resident writes:

“Well - I have a friend who is training to become a somalier. He’s passed several of the tests required (you wouldn’t believe how difficult the somalier test is!), and is interested in offering wine education seminars - he’s considering this for his next career. He’s currently a wine advisor at Planet Wine in Del Ray. So this is an opportunity for us to learn more about wine, and Jose to “try out” his new career. And, the wine may make us all a bit more relaxed as we learn how each of us can help the homeless people…”

The event will be held at the Cleveland Park Club, Sunday, February 24th, from 6-8. You’ll need some RSVP action before you can get in. But would you really want to go to this?

Really lame correction: I’ve been alerted that this event was held yesterday. Ugh. So aren’t we glad we missed it?