Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

tenleytown
The upper Northwest neighborhood spies intrigue in the upcoming November election for Ward 3 councilmember. On Oct. 9, poster msilver1957 reports that none of the Ward 3 Democratic primary candidates have come out to endorse primary winner Mary Cheh: “Is this lack of support from fellow Democrats sour grapes?” they ask. “Also will the anti-development Democrats do the unusual and vote for an anti-development Republican like Theresa Conroy?” Another poster serves up a top eight reasons to vote against Cheh. The faux Letterman pads out their reasons by twice listing the candidate’s insistence on retaining her teaching gig if elected. Inevitably primary loser Jonathan Rees gets mentioned. For at least one poster, he still is someone to fear. Which brought a reply from msilver: “Rees did not win but you still act afraid of him as if he was a creature from the movie “Night of the Living Dead” and he is going to come and get you.”

Brookland
School Board candidate Marc Borbely has found himself in the message board’s cross hairs. One poster alleges that the aspiring do-gooder has “pursued zoning exceptions in order to get kickbacks from businesses when the ANC voted down the exceptions. Several abandoned public spaces in our neighborhood which were slated for renovations, remain abandoned buildings because of Marc’s grandstanding.” Borbely responded with demands for a retraction or evidence proving these alleged “kickbacks.” The original poster soon conceded, writing: “True-I have no proof that you have received kickbacks. I apologize for passing a rumor I heard as fact.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

DupontForum
Some Dupont Circle neighbors are unnerved by the activities of a “rogue clipper” who’s been spotted in the night illegally clipping the low branches of trees. Lance first noticed the “awkward prunings” of the mysterious clipper: “He/she does not prune trees uniformly but only prunes branches on the sidewalk side,creating lop-sided tree canopies that will remain an unsightly shape for years to come. Some of these trees are newly planted,struggling to become established, and are not ready to be pruned.” But as David sees it, some trees just need to be pruned, and if DDOT won’t do it, let the rogue clipper have his fun. On at the corner of 17th and P Streets, he writes, there’s a tree with branches hovering dangerously low—threatening the safety of pedestrians. “Frankly, if somebody lopped the limbs off their tree, I would consider her/him a civic hero, not a menace,” David argues. And in David’s opinion, appealing to these homeowners probably wouldn’t work. “The home-owners don’t give a damn about their neighbors; they park their cars and trucks in the yard.”

Brookland
Although Brooklanders seemed pleased that a Yes! Organic Market is opening in their area, as opposed to what one resident calls another “random hair braiding salon,” Vicki and Mary Pat wonder why the health food store wants to enter the neighborhood’s already overcrowded wine-and-beer market. George immediately smacks down what he perceives as women claiming that the market will encourage public drinking: “Has anyone ever seen a bum hanging outside of Whole Foods getting drunk on the selection of international wines sold inside?” he asks. After several residents side with George, Vicki explains that she doesn’t think the market will create a drinking problem, but “that there is already a drinking problem w/ people hanging out in the alley.” Unable to gain even an ounce of sympathy from lovers of beer made from insecticide-free hops and packaged in recycling cardboard carrying cases, she quickly switches to a topic that no one can speak against: the possibility of children playing in an alley adjacent to the store being run over by the market’s delivery trucks. “I hope the alley is not used for delivery trucks going back and forth,” she says. “If so beware of children playing.”

nova_spsn
The Northern Virginia Single Parents Social Network gets adults and kids alike involved in such fun events as “Octoberfest” parties, trips to the Spy Museum, even a “Veddy Scary Movie Night.” But moderator Kevin thinks too many people are lurking without actually coming out and meeting their fellow parents/posters. “Why don’t you come out to an event or two……you signed up for this group.….why don’t you give it a try! COME ON OUT!!! Or, do I haveta come in and get you???!?!” Kyfreckles gives a sarcastic answer to Kevin’s playful rhetorical question, calling out all of the listsev members—who are trying to care for children by themselves, and work, and handle a thousand other things—for being too chickenshit to turn out for G-rated hot-tub parties and housewarmings. “But if I actually stop sitting back, reading the posts and actually PARTICIPATE in something, then how can I continue to bitch and complain that I never meet anybody new and that I never go out and do anything? Geesh.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
A California transplant needs roach advice. “For the last month, every week or so I have been finding three or so beetle looking things in my bathroom,” she writes. “Yesterday, I turned on my oven and 15 or so of the little beetle things came running out from the small gap between my counter and my oven and maybe 5 HUGE roaches ran out after them! Will they multiply and take over my condo? Is it a terrible idea to let them live in their crack?” Yes, residents respond. They suggest roach poison, boric acid, baking soda, and keeping a spotless kitchen—just don’t cede any ground to the harbingers of decay. “Roaches are not live and let live creatures,” writes a former New Yorker. “You just have to get rid of them.

shepherdpark
From assorted 4th District police reports: Sibling rivalry is a bitch: “[Complainant 1] REPORTS BEING INVOLVED IN A VERBAL DISPUTE, [Suspect 1] THEN BECAME ENRAGED AND HIT C1 IN THE FACE WITH AN AXE. THIS CAUSED A LACERATION TO THE LEFT SIDE OF C1′S FACE. C1 AND S1 ARE BROTHERS.” Now, Borf—there was an artist: [Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT UNKNOWN SUSPECT PUSHED OUT THE REAR BASEMENT WINDOW OF THE LISTED LOCATION. THE UNKNOWN SUSPECT THEN ENTERED THE LOCATION AND SPRAY PAINTED THE INTERIOR WALLS WITH THE WORD “BITCH.” Next idea—sell ice to Eskimos: [Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT [Suspect 1] CAME TO C1 DOOR AND ASKED IF C1 WOULD LIKE TO BUY A PLANT. C1 REFUSED. AS S1 LEFT THE LOCATION, S1 GRABBED A PLANT FROM THE FRONT OF C1′S HOME AND FLED.

HillcrestDC
What’s in a name? That’s what one resident wonders as he muses about the negative stereotypes associated with the moniker “east of the river.” “’East Washington’ has been a vernacular that has now seeped into the conscienciouness of many,” he writes. “Therefore, I ask, is it time that the East of the River magazine change its name, perhaps to something like East Washington News?” “This is total bs,” Orandra Cotton replies. “If these people are so disgusted and disturbed about living in SE-DC than they all should just move to another side of town. I assume they made a conscious decision to move to southeast- East of the River…what we need to be focusing on is how we as a collective community are going to move forward and rid ourselves of the growing thug mentality of our children who are terrorizing each other and eventually the adult population with their barbaric acts of violence.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

3DSubstation
There goes Wacko. From a Sept. 16 police report, at 1:25 a.m on the 2900 block of Sherman Avenue NW: “[Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT [Subjects 1 through 4] GOT OUT OF THE VEHICLE. S1 SAID ‘THERE’S WACKO!, LETS GET HIM.’ S1-S4 CHASED C1 & BEGAN TO KICK & PUNCH C1 ABOUT THE FACE & BODY. S1-S4 THEN DROVE AWAY IN THE VEHICLE IN AN UNKNOWN DIRECTION.”

Burleith
If only all spouse-beaters could be so considerate about their choice of venue. From a Sept. 12 police report describing incidents in a “Doctor’s Office/Hospital” on the same block as George Washington University Hospital, “[Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT [Suspect 1] BECAME ANGRY WHEN A MALE FRIEND CALLED C1′S HOSPITAL ROOM. S1 PUNCHED C1 [IN THE] FACE WITH A CLOSED FIST RESULTING IN A SWOLLEN RIGHT EYE.…S1 & C1 HAVE A CHILD IN COMMON.” And four days later, at the same location, “C1 REPORTS S1 PUSHED HER, KNOCKING C1 OFF BALANCE ONTO THE FLOOR. S1 THEN EXITED THE LISTED LOCATION. S1 IS C1′S HUSBAND.”

Brookland
“Dear All, this might be useful for you and your family,” writes gayatrimaharani. “Technically engineered natural minerals have been structurally bonded in glass, at molecular level, using several high heat fusion methods. This combination of the techniques causes a catalytic energy conversion creating a long lasting, specific natural Nano resonance in the BIO DISC.” BIO DISC! What does it do? Well, it “helps to improve sleep,” removes “Fat From Milk,” alleviates muscle injury when you “Move it counter clock wise,” and energizes lotions that are poured onto the BIO DISC. “Dear moderator: the…email is clearly a scam and I do not believe we need info like this on our listserv,” responds Sara. “The claim that putting a cigarette box on this “bio disc” for 30 minutes will remove tar and nicotine is particularly outrageous.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
On Sept. 5, Jim posted a note reminding everyone of “Volleyball tonight, 7:30PM as usual.” He also noted the only real rule of the game: “Kids need to be able to serve OK if they play. Not every time.…But kids who cannot serve at all need to practice first. We have low standards but….” The next day, Jim posts another message to the list. Prompted by poor turnout for the volleyball event the previous night, he asks for help in improving attendance and offers some suggestions of his own, one being “institute a higher level of play.” Perhaps being an OK server, even for the kids, Jim posits, just won’t cut it anymore. “[W]e could ask newcomers, especially young kids, to show they can serve the ball, ‘bump,’ set, and hit it over.”

gloverpark
Unable to get his daily Will Thomas fix, Glover Park resident Sean wonders why his rabbit ears have suddenly lost their ability to transmit Fox 5 into his home. “Anyone else in the ‘hood that doesn’t have cable and uses an antenna to pull in the local channels?” Sean asks. “Fox 5 went out on me last night around 7PM and hasn’t come back on yet. Did this happen to anyone else? I still get everything else.” Before anyone can suggest that the isolated Fox 5 blackout is simply the television rejecting The Edge, neighbor John steps in with an explanation. “Fox 5 and Channel 20 have been doing some work to boost their transmission power and raise their antennas a few feet to get better coverage of the metro area, and their analog and digital signals have been intermittent these past few weeks.” He says that service should be back to normal any time now, restoring Seinfeld reruns and Storm Trac to those who’ve gone without.

dc_sistagirls
Thanks to a posting by member MzTina, the group discovers the hours of snooping fun to be had with the Maryland Judiciary Case Search. Immediately, people begin plugging in the names of friends, in-laws, relatives, and old boyfriends. “I’m shocked,” says one woman of discovering someone she knows caught a credit-card-fraud case. “WHOA! I just found my EX-EX-EX boyfriend on here for 2nd Degree - ASSAULT charges.…SCARY!” says another. But jesusisalwaysloves cautions the women not to criticize too harshly. “This is scary as heck. I can’t believe some of the things I am seeing in here !” she writes. “On the other hand I need to be careful/prayerful, not to use this information as a tool to judge…”

The glorious sight of the Capitol dome from the upper reaches of North Capitol Street has gotten somewhat less obstructed as of late, thanks to the more than mile-and-a-half of dying trees now rotting in the median.

“It’s a pretty appalling sight,” says Joseph Martin, a local advisory neighborhood commissioner. Martin was excited to see the dogwoods and magnolias planted between Michigan Avenue and Allison Street in March as part of North Capitol Street’s recent rehabilitation but has watched the lush greenery wilt without water in the crushing summer heat. “Obviously a fortune went into putting the trees in,” he says.

Mike Larson of the Petworth Garden Club says that he and other local green thumbs are usually more than to happy to help water and care for trees located in public areas. But he says tending to North Capitol’s median is above and beyond the neighborhood’s duty. “Public safety-wise, it’s darn crazy to expect residents to stand in the middle of the busy road,” he says.

Erik Linden, spokesperson for the D.C. Department of Transportation, says that the 120 trees were planted with public safety in mind—other metropolitan areas have found that foliage reduces traffic accidents. However, Linden says, “in the city environment, the heat and exhaust of the median strip is too much.”

But Linden says Martin and others worried about government waste shouldn’t be concerned about the cost of replacing the dead trees—under the city’s contracts with nurseries, trees, in essence, come with warranties. “If the tree doesn’t make it in the first year, we get another tree in return,” Linden says. Labor costs are included, and the trees don’t even have to be planted in the same place. “This is an example of where we would plant elsewhere,” he says.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
Dissatisfied with cops’ sluggish response to non-emergency 311 calls, Brian tries to buck society’s commonly held notions of what constitutes a 911 emergency. With a touch of semantic massaging, the Brooklander can turn a noisy Catholic U party into a five-alarm crisis. “[D]rinking alcohol in public, public urination, littering, DWI, etc. these are immediate, *SERIOUS CRIMES* covered by specific statutes in the DC Code,” he writes. “If you are losing sleep (i.e., your health), your ‘peace’ is being disturbed after say, 10 p.m. at night…than I would argue that it is an exigent, criminal event, worthy of a call to 911.” Anyone bother to think about this for more than a few seconds? Oh, there you are, Kelly: “What if ya’lls calls diverted a cop from an armed robbery, car jacking or was the difference between apprehending a murderer and leaving a crime unsolved?” Nice effort, but Brian’s not persuaded. “One person’s indigestion may just as easily be another’s fatal heart attack in progress,” he rationalizes, after looking up “emergency” on his Mac’s dictionary. “Accordingly, ‘emergency’ may rightfully be given very broad interpretation by the victim (or Samaritans) calling.”

Mount Pleasant DC
Councilmember Jim Graham heralds the addition of two more crime-fighting surveillance cameras to Ward 1. “We already have a crime camera at 14th and Girard,” he boasts. “That will now be joined by a camera at Georgia and Morton, which will scan the area of the small mall there. And another will be on 18th Street just north of Belmont. I think both locations are excellent choices which I hope will soon be joined by others.” Then, perhaps in a wink to his civil-liberties-minded voters, Graham takes the opportunity to express his rather mealy-mouthed, cover-all-the-bases stance on said cameras. “Let me repeat that I am opposed to cameras used for surveillance of First Amendment expressions. I have consistently voted against such use. However, to my mind, cameras do have an appropriate though limited utility to dislodge embedded crime. However, police must be prepared to give chase once that dislodgment takes place.” Got that?

WardOneDC
Laurie Collins e-mails the group a Washington Post op-ed article in which Colbert I. King chides a Linda Cropp supporter for delivering the columnist a 146-page, dirt-filled dossier on Adrian Fenty (and requesting anonymity). Dominic Sale, a known Cropp booster and former Mount Pleasant advisory neighborhood commissioner, then chastens Laurie for disseminating the King column. “Laurie, I understand how someone as zealous as you are about Fenty could see this article as advantageous to…his campaign, but have you even considered the downside?” he asks. “The sad fact is that negative campaining has been proven again and again to work, and you have become the unwitting messenger of information that could do more harm than good to your candidate’s prospects.” But Laurie seems to have gotten just what she wanted. “Ok, whatever you say Dominic,” she writes. “You are so bait-able.…”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
The new noise pollution: scooters. On Aug. 6, Linda writes: “I hate to be the sore loser - but I have to be honest - I am constantly waking up in the middle of the night from the noise - the bus, train and ambulance sirens are understandable since we live in a big city - but I find the noise from those ridiculous scooters/mopeds and the people fighting or doing whatever they are doing at 3am in front of my house to be terribly annoying.” She also mentions another urban peculiarity: “I have also read about other folks being attacked.”

columbia_heights
In the last year, residents have tasted the fruits of mainstream chains, whether cruising the Nature’s Promise section of the new Giant or sampling the new-release rack at the shiny new Blockbuster. As bodegas get replaced by big chains, residents are starting to grouse about the incoming inevitable: the coffee chain. Few things are as divisive as where you go to buy your cup of joe. Debate has gone as follows: chains bad, indies good—or maybe not as good as you should believe. At least one poster asks whether Columbia Heights Coffee is a truly good-for-the-people operation, and another grouses about minority-owned franchises. This all leads to one poster to say: “Why don’t you experts on coffee shops pool your cash and open one up in the neighborhood and show Columbia Heights Coffee how it should be done? Geesh.”

cleveland-park
Residents here are needing: nanny-share organizing, folding treadmill, a financial planner, a wire dog crate, an orthopedic surgeon, and self-defense classes for a teenage girl visiting the District for a year. And, on Aug. 7, Ned posted this: “Wanted: Kids’ backyard elevated “fort”/climbing structure, with or without swings. Will pay for transport.”

Brookland resident Kristen Fulton-Wright frequently uses the pedestrian bridge that grants safe passage from the Rhode Island Avenue Metro station to the street below. While the bridge prevents those on foot from having to dodge speeding cars, it is not without its own hazards, like marijuana smoke, nasty litter, and, worst of all, piss.

Tired of stepping in the secretions of others, Fulton-Wright first complained to Metro about the pee a year ago. “It was foul,” she says. Fulton-Wright says Metro installed a portable toilet, but it soon disappeared. She was told it was removed because of vandalism and a contractor’s failure to keep it clean. “But if people will pee on a handrail, I don’t think they’d have any issues going inside,” she says.

A camera was also installed at one point to monitor the bridge but had no impact on the flow of piss, as far as Fulton-Wright can tell. So, last week, the combination of heat and a stream of piss reaching halfway down the bridge compelled her to complain to Metro customer service yet again. About three days later, the bridge was not only cleaned up but hosted two new portable toilets near its entrance. The Metro employee Wright says she dealt with was not available for comment by press time.

Fulton-Wright says she’s pleased with the new potties and hopes that they will provide relief for those who endure long waits for buses with no place to release their morning coffee. But, she says, they haven’t necessarily dissuaded public pissers. Fulton-Wright notices a puddle every day, in the exact same spot—on the left-side handrail at the very top of the bridge—and believes someone is marking their territory. “It’s not as bad,” she says, “but I think someone might just have a desire to pee on the handrail there.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

MPD-1D
It’s not like the D.C. Department of Corrections has exclusive rights to humiliating prisoner escapes. When asked what the deal was with the police chopper circling over 13th Street and Maryland Avenue NE at around 10 a.m. Monday, Commander Diane Groomes replies in a quick post, “The Fifth District had an escaped prisoner out of their wagon along Bladensburg Rd near their station…thus helicopter used to canvass along Bladensburg Rd.” Amanda, apparently one of those types who needs to know every last detail, asks, “Was the escaped prisoner apprehended?” To which Groomes replies, “He is still at large—have to get the info from the Fifth District.” Adds Dottie: “MPD reports that they are attempting to locate a prisoner who escaped from an MPD vehicle at 1300 Maryland Ave. NE. Description: Black male, wearing all black clothing.”

Petworth
Maddie gets enough about homicides in the news; she doesn’t need to read about them in her neighborhood chat room. “This listserve is too depressing,” she writes in response to a notice about a shooting at 7th and Kennedy Streets NW. “I love Petworth, as a new resident, but I have two children under 4 and every other message has to do with this kind of violence. I may seriously start reconsidering having moved here.” Don’t worry, Maddie—Charles is there to comfort the wary. “Where would you go?” he asks. “Georgetown? Oh, no…they have throat slashers there. My point is.…violence is EVERYWHERE! I’m thankful that we have a mayor, city council, and police chief who are at least trying to be on top of things. Stay a while…I think that you and your…children will be o.k.” And just in case Maddie’s considering fleeing for the ’burbs, community activist Joseph Martin notes, “Gangs are very active in Arlington, Alexandria, Fairfax County among other places.”

Brookland
If slot-machine petitioners are failing to win the hearts of Brooklanders, it’s certainly not for a lack of assertion. Loretta shares a note from a friend who had a testy exchange with a pair of slot sluts on the Metro: “The two guys collecting signatures at the Brookland station on Thursday couldn’t even articulate what the petition was for, other than that it was ‘about slots,’ and were pretty pushy in their insistence that I ‘just sign anyway.’ (No way.) They also claimed to be working for the DC government and said that the DC government was paying them to collect signatures. I told them that I certainly hoped that wasn’t the case, as that would be illegal.” Joe had his own run-in with an aggressive trio of petitioners, none of whom lived in the city; when he informed them that by law they need a D.C. resident to witness the signatures, they came up with a novel solution: “two told me I could be the witness. One became mildly threatening when I declined.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

cleveland-park
Residents mourn the transferring of 2nd District head Andrew Solberg to the police department equivalent of Siberia—something called “security services.” Police Chief Charles H. Ramsey removed Solberg, the King of All Message Boards, from his post after he addressed a forum in Georgetown and apparently told residents to report suspicious activity and allegedly stated that “black people are unusual in Georgetown.” Cleveland Parkers got Solberg’s back. Tamra wrote: “Security Division for what he said at the meeting in Georgetown. A man’s throat was sliced by thugs!” And Bill wrote: “No one has ever accused me of being a racist and I am certainly not one, but if I saw any group of two or more people of any race looking incongruous on any residential street at 2 am I would be alarmed and try to avoid them, maybe report them. If it were Georgetown and they were African American, I would be even more alarmed for precisely the reasons Andy Solberg mentioned.”

TakomaDC
A newbie discovers that rats live here too. Kathleen writes earlier this week: “For the first time since moving in a year ago, i have spotted a rat-twice in one week. It was on my deck the first time and i saw it run under it yesterday. Any suggestions as to what i can do to make the outside parameters a ‘no rat’ zone?… I am crossing my fingers that there are no hidden entryways into my home, but i also don’t want to dread sitting on my porch.” On July 12, Victoria piggybacks on the rat issue with her own gripe: “I have a problem similar to this but I know it is coming from my neighbor. They were feeding the birds with bird seed until they saw the the seeds were going too fast. Now they are throwing their garbage out in the yard (some of which ends up in our yard) claiming that they are starting a compost.” And finally, Sharon queries message board the same day: “Is anyone else irritated by the Feng Shui sign in the yard on Aspen.? It’s been up for month and months. Doesn’t this constitute advertising? Is that allowed in a residential neighborhood, not to mention a historic district?”

Brookland
Signs, signs, everywhere signs. Beware advertisers: Tom doesn’t like your signs messin’ with his mind. On July 11, he writes of his daily mission: “I remove all placards (advertising day care, carpet cleaning, new housing, you name it) attached to poles on my block as soon as they are put up. It is illegal to do this according to DC Municipal Regs. I also take the liberty of removing the yard sale signs after the event, since they are frequently left there. The worst offenders (beyond politicians running for office!) are those advertising for free car removal, and those who inconsiderately nail these signs to trees…”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

MPD-1D
In a post headlined “Leering Officer on Segway,” mjwilson99 gets right to the point: “Perhaps the white, middle-aged officer who was riding the Segway down Pennsylvania Avenue last week could seek counseling so as to be able to resist his urge to turn around not once, not twice, but three times, to ogle an attractive female pedestrian wearing a short skirt.” Shut your whining mouth, replied Danielle: “That is the most ridiculous complaint I have heard yet!…These cops risk their lives day in and day out for probably not enough pay, there could be a number of reasons the cop was looking around, perhaps he saw someone else that may pose a threat to the individual, perhaps he was watching traffic or just looking over his shoulder. Even if he was looking at the girl, who cares???” Several posters agreed with Danielle, before bigfishindc finished off the debate by saying, “just because this listserv makes it easy to complain about each and every aspect of police behavior, doesn’t mean its productive to complain about each aspect of police behavior.”

Brookland
Fred’s dog had a rough night in Brookland. “During the late afternoon on Sunday July 2nd, my dog Patrick got out of the gate from my backyard and was gone for about 20 minutes. Patrick was scared from the thunder and this caused him to “bolt” though he came back pretty quickly. When he returned, he seemed a bit freaked out and I attributed this to the storm that was coming in. When I got up this morning, my dog was limping from both hind legs. I was concerned that possibly he had been hit by a car during his absence yesterday (or something else)? A half day of worry and an expensive vet bill later, I now know that my dog was shot in the hind with a bb gun. The pellet is still lodged there (and will probably have to stay).” Thoughtful notes arrived for Patrick that night. “Thanks for all the well wishes,” Fred wrote. “Patrick is okay, still limping and such. He is on painkillers and a little bit out of it.”

DupontCircleParents
A recent City Paper article that focused heavily on the DupontCircleParents listserv drew the ire of said listserv. One poster, Noreen, was so perplexed by the story that she looked far and wide for the reporter’s motivation. “I am still trying to figure out why it was a story, what was the point? It just seemed so mean spirited all around. A Post reporter told me that his theory was that it was an attempt to score off from someone at the Washington Post where Ross has gotten so much positive press, and the newspaper staff come over through “Everybody Wins” to read at lunch with our students. The Graham foundation also granted us $25,000 for our playground, so there are definitely Post supporters here. Another person on my son’s Stoddert Soccer team suggested it was just a general anti-gentrification article. But since when is being committed to your local community gentrification anyway?…Anyway, the story didn’t originate from Ross, and everyone (just everyone) I talked to was sick about it.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
Sometimes clichés are true. Peter writes about a recent Saturday stroll down 12th Street NE: “In the middle of a lawn furniture painting project, I ran out of primer. So I walked over to Brookland hardware and bought a couple of cans of spray paint (I’ve been there multiple times on this project); on my way home I decided to drop in at Dwellings. I bought a handy little kitchen gadget and a greeting card that made both me and the cashier laugh out loud. I admired, but didn’t buy (yet) some rug-like outdoor mats and hanging votive candle lanterns. I stopped in at Joe’s Mini to score an ice-cream sandwich, then wanting something cool to drink, popped into Cafe Sureia and got an extremely delicious and healthy multi-berry fruit smoothie. In less than an hour, I was back home and back at work.…I’m going to try to make that kind of stroll a summer Saturday tradition.”

Brightwood_DC
In a June 28 posting, Arlene reports her latest detective work: “The caretakers at the group home placed in the alley an empty box that had a very large RCA TV in it. The packing material was also placed in the box. It appears that someone tried to flatten the box and left it in the alley outside of their property.…If you ride up/down the alley behind Whittier and Van Buren Sts. NW—the 1400 block—between 14 and 16th Sts the violations will surprise you..…I hope we do not have to live with the very large box in the alley until Monday.”

cleveland-park
Beth calls for some direct action against the city cab racket: “In this day and age w/Zipcar etc, it would be best if DC residents would stop using DC cabs! The stranglehold of the union is more powerful than any sting operation and conditions will never become ‘customer friendly’ unless and until they find their business dropping off. It’s obvious they cater to unsuspecting DC visitors who have no idea of the history of the struggle here, ie no meters etc.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Truxton Circle
Over in Truxton Circle, dog owner martyb complains that “a crazy, and very brazen bird has been attacking my dog. This territorial bird stalks the area in front of Dunbar HS on New Jersey.” On June 8, he writes, it “swooped in and hit my dog’s backside, grabbing with his claws and hitting with its wings.…then it just flew away, swooped back in a couple of times, and my dog and I got the heck out of there! It felt like a Hitchcock film.…” Other Truxton folks offered up not only their own bird-bites-dog stories, but solutions that could both eliminate such birds and encourage the most apathetic residents of the area to participate in the problem-solving. “I’m ready to talk to one of our friendly neighborhood drug dealers and ask them to shoot that durn bird for us?” says TruxtonResident. “Another reason to repeal the ban on hand-guns in the District so honest citizens can defend themselves against these terrorizing bird attacks!” says NstNW, careful to note the comment is a “(joke).” “LOL…they can barely hit each other!” says saibot. “How are they going to hit something the size of a phone? Maybe they can trick the bird into eating a little crack.”

Brookland
Brookland resident Janet has invited all of her neighbors to a feral-cat adoption fair. On Father’s Day, she discovered “4 kittens living under the deck in our backyard. We want them out sooner rather than later. We have no idea if the cat is wild or not and our son plays out back and I don’t want him or anyone to be confronted by an angry mother.” The Humane Society could get the kitties from beneath the deck, she says, “but will not ‘keep’ them.” Those interested can even watch the kitties in action—just don’t get too close. “If you are interested please know you are welcome to come by in the evening and watch them play from our bedroom window.”

shepherdpark
Mark is being bothered by a bird making a racket. The feathered foe first “rat-a-tat-tatted” on his chimney cap in the spring, and last week it started making bird calls as well. “This bird, about the size of a YOUNG crow, has a black head on top and a long black bill, but otherwise has smooth, gray feathers.What kind of bird is it, and does anyone have any ideas how to get him to go away from our chimney?” Replies adthomas, “How about sending some electrical current up your chimney stack - or is that not PC according to PETA?” But before shock therapy can begin, J. rushes in to say that evicting the bird would not only be inhumane but cockblocking, too. “What you have is a northern flicker. It is adapting its mating ritual call to the urban environment,” he writes. “It is trying to make as much noise as possible to attract females and it has learned that rapping on a metal item such as a chimney cap is a good way to make a lot of noise!…So next time you hear it you should wish him luck in his courtship!”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
Just because your strawberry plants mysteriously left your front porch doesn’t mean they left your neighborhood, according to Joel near 20th and Kearny. In a post regarding the “perennial problem” of plant-nappings, he says he and his wife were working on their roof last Saturday when they spotted some of their own plants in a neighbor’s back yard. (They’d had $300 worth of greenery pilfered back in April, he says.) Soon, with the help of a neighborhood police officer, “we had our plants back, looking a little worse for wear and in need of a good watering.” Sldicke seconds the poor care taken by neighbors who—ahem—borrow azaleas and the like: “I just found my stolen hanging flower baskets on the porch of a house near 20th and Jackson streets. I don’t want them back (they’re looking a bit sad at this point).”

MPD-3d
It seems the District’s public-safety activists just can’t satisfy the demand for color-coded ball-cap neighborhood safety patrols. With crime “on the rise in the 3rd district” and civic-minded folks “at a loss as to what to do,” Kenneth announces the unveiling of a new “Pink Hat Patrol” to supplement the current brigade of orange-hat and blue-hat patrols around the city. True to its hue, the pink hats, comprised of young women who are “former or potential gang members,” will spend their time patrolling crime-prone pockets around town and passing out literature to at-risk kids. “The ultimate goal of this effort is to assist in deterring crime,” he writes. Unclaimed colors for your own neighborhood hat patrol now include yellow, green, and magenta.

tenleytown
Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner Avram Fechter has devised a novel method for determining the worth of D.C. Council candidates: “At the Ward 3 candidate’s forum last night only Sam Brooks and Robert Gordon would promise not to litter our public spaces with their campaign signs.…Candidates who are unable to gain the name recognition they need without littering our neighborhoods do not deserve my vote.” Mel, however, finds Fechter’s anti-sign invective to be somewhat undemocratic: “Campaign signs in public space have been part of the American scene since the earliest days of our democracy. I have no objection to the ‘visual pollution’ at election time.” Matt simply finds it ironic: “In light of [Fechter's] message below, I [was] amused yesterday to see a Robert Gordon sign affixed to the public space in front of the Tenleytown metro, where Mr. Fechter was passing out literature on Mr. Gordon’s behalf.”