In the past year I’ve received something like 10,000 items in my RSS feed about net neutrality. I’ve ignored every single one of them. I feel bad about that—I like to think I’m a good citizen about these things, and every post I’ve scanned and then ignored gave me the impression that this is something Very Important. But holy crap is the Wikipedia page on the subject long. I was hoping that maybe Rock the Net: Musicians for Network Neutrality, a new CD from the D.C.-based Future of Music Coalition might help me out. True enough, it paints a not-so-pretty picture. (Disclosure: Casey Rae-Hunter, a CP contributor, works with FoMC, but didn’t nudge me to write about the disc.) Here’s the indie-rock-pocalypse that’s coming: “The big telecom companies want to charge content providers a fee for the faster deliver of their sites. It’s simply another corporate shell game—do business our way, or don’t do business at all.”

OK, though I get a little skeptical about rhetoric like “corporate shell game.” And Wilco’s no help: The lyrics to “Impossible Germany,” a live version of which is on the CD, are as abstract as anything Jeff Tweedy’s coughed up. So I gather that it’s a corporate battle—except when it isn’t. Help!

Photo from a Canadian net neutrality rally by JasonWalton.

While most of the feedback we at Washington City Paper receive from readers comes via e-mail, we occasionally get that amazing voicemail message that’s worth the menial chore of transcribing.

This is such a message. It comes in response to an arts feature about a group of kids that launched a go-go band. The leaver of the message didn’t identify herself.

Yes, hi, uh, we get your paper here at our building, and I just want to comment on this week’s…the picture on page 40, about…the kids …with the microphone, with his jeans down around his butt and his underwear showing and some of the other kids, the way they’re posing. I think it’s disgusting and in poor taste, OK? Don’t put those in there. It’s not right.

Photograph by Charles Steck

I stopped by Orpheus Records in Arlington yesterday and owner Rick Carlisle says he’s staying open way past his first drop-dead date. Turns out his landlord’s deal to sell property on the block went totally sour. The other tenants have already left and relocated. But since Carlisle had decided to just quit the business, he stuck around. Now he’s in limbo. Go browse! The place has that lovely old record smell, plus plenty of old gems–most at half-price–and new releases.

D.C.’s Best Columnist Marc Fisher last year wrote a nice “Raw Fisher” item about Butch Warren, the legendary jazz man who’s gone through several rough spells (Fisher once visited him in a mental ward in Maryland). On a recent Saturday, Warren, a bassist who’s played with all of the truly greats—including Thelonious Monk—was out promoting himself in Dupont Circle. He handed me a blue flier for his Wednesday shows at Columbia Station in Adams Morgan. He was wearing a bike helmet, although he was not on a bike. He looked a touch touched.

I recognized him because I caught his act, The Butch Warren Experience, at the aforementioned Columbia Station one night. Since I’m not a big jazz head, it wasn’t his playing that struck me, although I’m sure it should have and I’m sure you should go and hear him for yourself. But what I really remember is his drink of choice: a tall, frothy glass of half-and-half. Butch Warren, by all accounts a jazz genius, drinks pints of half-and-half and walks around wearing a helmet. There’s a story in here somewhere. Fisher’s told some of it, but what’s the rest?

While contemplating, here’s Butch:

The AFI Silverdocs Festival kicked off last night with screenings of All Together Now. The documentary tells the story of Love, the Cirque du Soleil/George Martin collaboration, from conception (it was George Harrison’s idea) through rehearsals (with a cast and crew of 500) and diplomatic quagmires (Yoko complained that director Dominic Champagne had no appreciation for John’s songs) to a blissful opening night (complete with shots of Paul & Ringo singing along from the audience). The music is phenomenal, the camera work is solid, and George Martin & son steal the show.

On the whole, a neat process to watch—one that prompts Paul to remember that “we were a fucking great band.”

Will Mitchell, apparently, had a good time as well.

This month, D.C.’s Best Dance Night (as decreed by yours truly) will move from its station at DC9 to the bigger, badder Club 5. That means that Nouveau Riche—with DJs Gavin Holland, SteveLove, and Nacey—will now span three floors, and last from 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. Eight hours: Some might call that a “work day.” Gavin Holland was nice enough to field five questions about the nouveau Nouveau Riche, which debuts at Club Five on Saturday, June 28th.

CP: What have you guys got planned for those extra two hours?

GH: Well, to the public, it will appear that our friend Spiggy from Sleaze will be rocking the mainstage during that time. But secretly, I will be holding an introductory aerobics class on the main floor, while Steve and Nacey will be heading up a personal finance seminar in the bottle service area. Plus we expect all of our DJ friends to come by for the after-hours fun (or else!), and we hear that certain rockstars who shall remain anonymous may be heading to Five as well…

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Right below the band’s name on the online promotional poster for Band of Annuals’ five-week tour is the phrase “Over America.” Whether that’s simply a reference to the band’s tour schedule—which takes the Salt Lake City-based six piece from Spokane, Wash., to New York and back—or an indication that they’re just done with the U-S-of-A remains to be seen. But one thing’s for sure: Band of Annuals certainly isn’t over Americana. Tracks such as “Ain’t Looking Back” and “Don’t Let Me Die” on the band’s 2007 release, Let Me Live, show an undying fondness for the kind of folksy, wistful alt-country that defines the genre. Dubbed “best alt-country music to ever come out of Salt Lake City” by a hometown magazine, Band of Annuals provides the perfect soundtrack for some whiskey-drinkin’, porch-sittin’, and yearnin’ for the better days of yesteryear. Band of Annuals performs with Birdlips and J. Guden at 9:30 p.m. at the Red & the Black, 1212 H St. NE. $8. (202) 399-3201. —Matthew Borlik

Russian-born Icelandic conductor and pianist Vladimir Ashkenazy will be moving from Japan to Australia to direct the Sydney Symphony, but not before closing out his two week stint in Washington, D.C., with Norway’s greatest, Edvard Grieg. Peer Gynt remains Grieg’s best-known work, far outshining the Henrik Ibsen play he composed the piece to accompany, though its prominence is cemented in a perhaps undeserved association with cartoon camp. Audiences might recall Wile E. Coyote and Sam the Sheepdog clocking into work to the tune of “Morning Mood,” while “In the Hall of the Mountain King” is notable for having inspired the “Inspector Gadget” theme song. Rounding out the kitsch value is actor John de Lancie (“Q” from Star Trek: The Next Generation), who narrates. The National Symphony Orchestra performs at 7 p.m. Thursday, June 5, 1:30 p.m. Friday, June 6, and 8 p.m. Saturday, June 7, at the Kennedy Center’s Concert Hall, 2700 F St. NW. $20–$80. (202) 467-4600. –Mike Paarlberg

Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos are the best example of the mechanical elegance of baroque music: a perfectly scripted, rapid-fire conversation carried from instrument to instrument that’s just a little too glib for its own good—like an episode of The West Wing. Which isn’t to say the scripts are nearly as predictible, however; with the Fifth, Bach introduced history’s first keyboard concerto, while the Sixth takes out the violins completely to give the violas—the string orchestra’s perpetual neglected stepchildren—a rare spotlight. Concertmaster Jonathan Carney leads the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra through the last and best three of the concertos, plus Bach’s double violin concerto at 8 p.m. Thursday, June 5, at the Music Center at Strathmore, 5301 Tuckerman Lane, Bethesda. $21–$84. (877) 276-1444. –Mike Paarlberg

Attention District RSS Feeds: Make way for another D.C. music site. Last Thursday saw the launch of All Our Noise, part blog, part ‘zine, part D.C., part … not.

“We wanted to help highlight the indie electro DJ scene here in DC,” says founder Miguel Lacsamana, who conceived the site with his partner-in-electronic-folk, Stamen & Pistils bandmate Raul de Leon. Later on, “We decided to expand it a bit further and have it be a broader music blog, D.C.-based but not necessarily D.C.-centric.”

Says Lacsamana, “It’ll have your standard blog fare, music and show reviews, interviews, and features.” So far, that fare includes a Time Machine interview, a couple podcasts, and a Weezer “Blue Album” birthday retrospective. In the future, All Our Noise promises to develop remixes, podcasts, and video, but hopes to stay low on the self-indulgence. “We won’t be focusing too much on the ’scene,’” says Lacsamana.

Lacsamana and de Leon recruited a bevy of local contributors (check out sexy shots of portions of their faces here) to help with the project, and got the backing of two local labels: Lacsamana’s own Echelon Productions and Shelby Cinca and Håkan Johansson’s Swedish Columbia. According to AON, “We all have our own projects going on at any one time, but this is our baby. We’d like to see it grow up and mature into a bright, bouncing youngster.”

BrightestYoungThings has got the latest Fort Reno scoop: According to an e-mail from Councilmember Mary Cheh:

The tests are showing there is no public health threat, as will be announced at a Mayor’s press conference tomorrow. We will use our best efforts to get the National Park Service to open the park (they have jurisdiction and control over the park).

I share your eagerness to get things back on track.

Arsenic shmarsenic! Still waiting on word from the NPS.

Keep it open all day. It’s very useful.

The Alphabetical Order, District four-piece and subject of CP’s very first What’s Your Problem? feature, has decided to split up. The reason? Their problem–inability to hold on to a drummer—proved unsolvable. “Remember when you wrote that story on us way back, about how we couldn’t keep a drummer?” writes Order guitarist Gavin Dunaway in an e-mail. “Another one quit, and we just didn’t have the energy to train another person.”

My god—could this be the beginning of a rash of What’s Your Problem?-related artistic mishaps, in which the local artists featured in the column are systematically ruined by order of publication date? Only time will tell. Watch out Dan Amitai, Ivan Khilko, and Adrian Parsons—your dubstep happy hour could be next. (My money’s on the 9/11 theorists).

While we’re waiting to see if the theory pans out, catch the Dismantling of The Alphabetical Order this Saturday at IOTA. Or, send me your own problems (artistic only, please) at problem@washingtoncitypaper.com.

11th Hour Reminder: Hanson, everybody’s favorite former boy band, hosts one of the shortest charity walks in history today in Falls Church.  

The one-mile walk kicks off at 3 p.m. outside the State Theatre. The former boys hope the Hanson One Miler cures poverty and AIDS in Africa.*

“One mile? Hell, I could finish that!” said Rosie Ruiz , when told of the Hanson One Miler.**

*We really love Hanson, and despite all this mockery do hope their event cures poverty and AIDS in Africa 

**This quote is made up

Today, another battle has been decided in the ongoing war over live music in Mount Pleasant, and both sides are claiming victory.

For the past year, Mount Pleasant restaurants Don Jaime’s, Haydee’s, and Don Juan’s have been working with neighborhood group Hear Mount Pleasant to terminate their voluntary agreements with the Mount Pleasant Neighborhood Alliance. The voluntary agreements, or VA’s, restricted hours for live entertainment and prohibited cover charges and dancing. Catch up on some background here.

In yesterday’s ruling, the ABC board amended the MPNA’s voluntary agreements with Don Jaime’s and Haydee’s , but did not terminate them (a ruling on Don Juan’s voluntary agreement is slated for next Wednesday). Under the new agreement, hours for live music have been significantly expanded: The restaurants may host entertainment Sundays through Wednesdays until 11:00 p.m.; Thursdays until midnight; and Fridays and Saturdays until 1:00 a.m. Dancing is now permitted, as are cover charges.

In a press release, Hear Mount Pleasant declared the ruling “a major victory.” In their own release, the MPNA focused on the fact that the ABC board “denied the request to terminate voluntary agreements.”

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So, you may have heard that our Best of D.C. issue is out. If you haven’t heard: Are you living out of a box in Rock Creek Park or something? Go get one! Even though the issue is the largest in memory for the City Paper, there were some items that just wouldn’t fit. To wit: the classic D.C. Go-Go Band, Mambo Sauce. All of Mambo Sauce (of “Welcome to D.C.” fame and the stars of local label Red C Records) were included in our Classic D.C. Archetypes feature, but didn’t make it to the print issue. For this, we are sorry, because these people are pretty, they’re talented, and they love them some D.C., so here they are, along with their answers to the burning question: What is the Best of D.C.?

Andy White: Ben’s Chili Bowl

Black Boo: We’ve got our own swagger. We march to the beat of our own drum.

Keyboard Chris: We have our own form of music native to our area (until Mambo Sauce spreads it to the rest of the world)!

Pep: Go-Go!!!

Twink: My family

Yendy: The city’s rich African-American history.