Metro Deputy Police Chief Mark Olson says reports of violence and disorderly conduct on the transit system are actually down this year. But trouble spots remain. Olson lists the District's most unruly transit hubs as Tenleytown/AU, Minnesota Avenue, Anacostia, Brookland-CUA and Fort Totten.

In related news: The Examiner reports that Metro's recent fare hike isn't doing enough to cover the rail system's budget shortfall:

The reason why Metro is in such straits is because it fell short of its ridership estimates in each of the first nine months in the current fiscal year, for a 9 percent ridership drop below expectations...

Perhaps they should start charging riders extra to watch all these "Metro Gladiators" in action.

The Virginian-Pilot reported Saturday that the seal on Cuccinelli's staff pins is different from the one usually used by the state. While the typical seal has Roman goddess Virtus baring one breast, in Cuccinnelli's version, both mammaries are covered with armor. How very John Ashcroft of him! When he passed out the pins, Cuccinnelli said the new version was more modest.

WaPo has Cuccinnelli saying he was joking, but that doesn't stop porn mustache cultivator Larry Sabato from dropping in for a laugh at Cuccinelli's expense:

The joke might be on him, said University of Virginia political scientist Larry Sabato.“When you ask to be ridiculed, it usually happens. And it will happen here, nationally,” he said. “This is classical art, for goodness’ sake.”

WAMU's Kojo Nnamdi, who is never modest in his loud shirts, gave outgoing Loose Lips Mike Debonis a Bud Light-inspired "Real Kojo Guests of Genius" send-off on Friday. Highlight: calling Debonis the "warlock of the Wilson Building."

Meanwhile, the Unification Church is looking for buyers for the Washington Times. Former editor John Solomon is listed as a potential buyer, but I've got a better idea.

Philip Anschutz, the conservative mogul behind the Examiner and the Weekly Standard, should buy it. He gets a marginally more respected publication, and a higher-tier stable of conservative pundits. It's the perfect opportunity to dump Gregory Kane!

Last time we at City Desk wrote about the endorsement, we capped on the Examiner for swallowing the rhetoric of the Republican party and putting it straight onto its pages, as follows: "It is for times such as these that men like John McCain are made, to put country first so that it can be put right in its time of need."

Today, however, we are capping on the Examiner for swallowing the rhetoric of the Republican party and putting it straight onto its pages, as follows:

While no candidate is perfect, presidents like Harry Truman remind us that defending and enriching America's place in a dangerous world often requires the sometimes rough-hewn character of men and women who always put country first, no matter the cost to them personally. It is precisely for times like these that America needs John McCain and Sarah Palin.

That's right–at least twice in the same editorial, the Examiner, once known as a bastion of original thinking (or maybe not, actually), recycles a campaign slogan with a perfectly straight face. Perhaps next time, they should put it in capital letters, just because.

In the beginning I took my column pretty seriously, shouting out stories I'd written for other publications, and including some original content. It quickly became a slog. My hits were 200 or 300 a day, not terrible, but translating to pennies (or perhaps quarters) per day. Then, around the time of the Republican convention it occurred to me that the idiots who dial up Examiner don't want to read about Jamie Lidell or whatever, they want to read about Sarah fucking Palin. And so I began posting about her, every day. My hits went way up, well over 1000 for this Sarah Palin drinking game.

I was immediately told by an editor — a different one — that this was unacceptable, that I had to write about music only. I pushed back, noting my agreement with the first guy. But he couldn't be swayed, and since I was near a payment threshold I capitulated. I silently vowed to get over the threshold as quickly as possible, and to entertain myself in the process. And so I began to blog about nothing but Lil Wayne and boobs — Katy Perry's, mostly — in as absurd a manner as possible. Oh, and I still talked about Sarah Palin via ridiculous musical tie-ins. "Katy Perry and Sarah Palin to wrestle in Jello?" one was titled.

My hits stayed high, probably because nearly every post included a picture of Katy Perry with her tits hanging out, which were splashed across the site's front page next to headlines like "Katy Perry voted biggest boobs in music." (The first line of that particular post was, "By my friend Darryl"). After about a week of this they cut me off. My page is still up, but as of Saturday I can't post to it anymore. This annoyed me at first, but this morning I got paid so I'm over it.

Westhoff's post includes links to his Examiner posts, but they're all dead now.

Even so, there are plenty of good things to say about McCain. Which raises a question: Why does the Examiner, in its McCain endorsement, feel compelled to regurgitate a Republican campaign slogan? I am talking about this passage:

America is at war overseas and in an economic crisis here at home. Many of her citizens believe the country is on the wrong track. It is for times such as these that men like John McCain are made, to put country first so that it can be put right in its time of need. For this reason, The Examiner endorses McCain for president and his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, for vice president.

And at just the moment when it has become a staple of American comedy, the Examiner invokes that "M" word: "Ever the maverick, McCain selected Palin because her record mirrors his own in courageously standing up to corrupt special interests regardless of party and cutting government waste."

Hey Examiner, can't you do some original thinking here?

*This'll explain why Henry Paulson had such a nice weekend.

*OK, so the post is a week old, but it so embodies the humanity of the young professional class in the District.

*Maine: Preparing not for winter–but a hurricane?

*McCain is right: Could that have been the blunder of the 2008 campaign?

*The Examiner gives local theater some good play.

Watch in awe as Erik gives the cold shoulder to the Dupont Current, the InTowner, and the Examiner. The Washington Hispanic is en fuego, naturally, while Erik himself is back on the attack...sporting a dashing new haircut.

Don't touch that remote!

[FF Bonus: Scroll down after watching to discover what the Examiner's cover really says!]

Trouble viewing? Try the YouTube version.

[...and the Examiner says... "Palin's Slapshot." Zing!]

Yet Shepherd Park resident Don Squires came up with perhaps the most original protest. At an advisory neighborhood commission meeting earlier this year that addressed the unwanted deliveries, Squires showed up with a bag of Examiners that'd landed on his front lawn. He proceeded to dump them in the meeting room, provoking a commissioner to declare him out of order.

Squires responded that he was just making a point: No one wants a pile of trash in their space. Watching all of this was Examiner Publisher Michael Phelps.

Phelps also absorbed some blows on the very candid Shepherd Park listserv, which boiled over with nastiness about the free newspaper. Wrote one neighbor:

Recently, we were out of town for 10 days and our home was broken into. In our absence, The Examiner had been delivered and was littering the sidewalk to our house (I stopped the Post). For 2 years, I have begged and pleaded for delivery to stop, repeatedly voicing my concern about this being a home security issue. I have contacted Mr. Phelps and the head of circulation numerous times; I have called the 800 number; and, I have filled out the "Stop Delivery" function at The Examiner (all suggested by Mr. Phelps himself during his ludicrous ANC appearance).

The Examiner also got some pressure from the office of Councilmember Muriel Bowser, which acted as an intermediary between Phelps and the angry residents. Phelps was unavailable for comment.

These days, less newsprint is getting thrown around in this stately D.C. neighborhood. Squires reports that for the first time since mid-July, he's not getting the deliveries. One big help is that the Examiner around that time bagged its nearly daily deliveries and went with a twice-weekly schedule. "I think it was done with an eye toward not bothering people as much," says Squires.

Chapter 7 in the Chandra Levy series also hit the streets Sunday, and I am starting to withhold less and less judgment. I mean, whatever new stuff is in this episodic disaster is marginal. So marginal, in fact, that when I come across things that I think may be new, I check my memory in search of what I knew before the series. Most of the time, I can't quite remember, but I do know this: The series has yet to tell me anything way above and beyond what I knew before, or at least enough to justify throwing multiple reporters on the thing for a whole year. I mean, the Post is verily boasting of sinking that much time into the thing. I'd think they may be embarrassed to admit as much.

Examiner profiles first gun registrant, saying that Amy McVey didn't seem like the "typical" owner of a firearm. And the paper's conservative editorial page slams Pelosi.

So what else is going on, aside from the heat?

Well, there's former Washington City Paper Editor David Carr's book, The Night of the Gun," excerpted in the New York Times mag. Carr is a close friend, by way of disclosure, and I helped a bit with the book, so attach whatever weight you choose to my opinion that the book is a compelling page-turner.

So what's the big deal? The Washington Examiner, whose attempt to hustle readers merits a whole new category.

Fuego, frio...falso?!? Tune in to see what all the fuss is about.

Arrriba!

Trouble viewing? Try the YouTube version.

Meanwhile, FF doles out generous props to the Brookland Heartbeat, and to the Examiner for heeding some sound advice.

The glue stick is back, the stories are hot—or not!—and Erik is in top form. Don't touch that remote!

Trouble viewing? Try the YouTube version.

Headline pun courtesy of Amanda Hess.

Oy!

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It looks like PB&J Television's proposed Late Night Shots reality show is really going to happen. According to the Examiner, this District 'Hills' is currently fielding "offers from three television stations," and a deal is expected to be made within the next few days.

Who are the lucky instant television stars?

One thing is set in stone, however: the first cast members. They are local socialites / hotties / 20-somethings Katherine Kennedy, Krista Johnson and Sophie Pyle. Johnson’s younger sister, Alexa Johnson, may also play a role in the show. (Both Johnson sisters are alumnae of South Carolina’s College of Charleston, Kennedy graduated from Loyola Marymount and Pyle is taking a semester off from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.)

Hotties! Tell me more:

“It’s all going to be about our real lives,” said Krista Johnson, who is a partner at the Georgetown boutique We One You Two. “It’s going to be in the same vein of MTV’s ‘The Hills’ but ours is going to be more realistic.

Realistic reality? Oh, well. At least there are hotties.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.

Watch in awe as Erik assails the Washingtonian for hamhandedness, the Washington Hispanic for gun-nescience and the Washington Examiner for treading on well-trodden ground.

El Pregonero, meanwhile, gets some love for a paradigm-shifting day-laborer piece.

Plus: props to the New York Times for beating Wemple on the Brauchli story.

Trouble viewing? Try the YouTube version.