From an anonymous tipster, not a wire report:

Guy leaves the Washington Post building, carrying a printout with the unmistakable header of something from the Post CMS. He starts editing it, using a nearby Express box as a writing surface.

Pedestrian squeezes past apparent staffer and pulls out an Express.

Postie: [Deadpan] You know, I strongly encourage you to buy the paper.

Pedestrian: [Totally taken off-guard] Um, I subscribe to the Sunday edition, I swear!

This week, we one-up Elmore James, with the most fearsome Fuego/Frio to date. Pay close attention as Wemple discusses apocalyptic prophesies in the Atlantic, superb investigative reporting from the Post, and a circulation scandal at the Express.

Don’t touch that remote!

There’s a nice piece in Express‘ Fit section today about Phoenix Bike Shop in Arlington, which I picked as Best Bike Shop a few weeks ago. That wasn’t an easy choice—I frequent a few bike shops and am deliriously happy with most of them. City Bikes, right near our office, is a classic local bike shop, with great stock, friendly clerks, and perhaps the greatest wrenches in the city. Spokes Etc. in Alexandria is also a fine shop, and I hear great things about the Bike Rack and pretty much every other LBS in the area.

What makes Phoenix great isn’t the fact that you can get a fully rehabbed bike with a nice ’70s lugged frame for less than $100, it’s that kids in south Arlington, which comprises some of the poorest areas of the county, can earn a sharp ride just by helping out around the shop. The shop’s director, Colin Dixon, and chief mechanic, John Harpold, take kids out on rides every week. “I just have always seen bikes and used bikes not as a lifestyle but as the best part of how to get things done,” Dixon told me. And that’s why I think his shop is the best, even with such stiff competition.

This week: Politico, the Atlantic, and a double-dose of the Express. While one reporter finds himself a bit tied up, the Pope’s at a loose end…meanwhile, Al Franken gets the serious treatment and some impressionable high schoolers get “turned on” to caffeine.

Too much going down on an Easter weekend to waste any time in this space. Let’s get right into roundupping:

*Folks at Washington Post Co.’s Express appear to have had a nice weekend, as this feature on the ins and outs of ceviche is still fronting the commuter paper’s Web site.

*Don’t really understand why they’re doing it now, but Washingtonian chimes in with an essay on the turning points in D.C. history by a guy named Larry Van Dyne.

*The Washington Post has launched its 1,234th blog. It’s on lax.

*The Washington Times, for its part, is talking about just how the fighting between Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama is boosting John McCain.

*Also, for the die-hards out there, D.C. institution and WAMU analyst Jonetta Rose Barras fronts the Outlook section of the Post with a piece in which she distances herself from the rantings of the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright.

As we all know, Ruth Samuelson and Erik Wemple have been taking the local media’s temperature on Fuego/Frío for two decades now. But the following episode, in this viewer’s humble opinion, is the all-time best.

Who’s hot? The Post, el Comercio, the Washington Times, and Express, who took home this week’s award for Outstanding Selection of an AP Wire Story.

And who ain’t? Ryan Lizza, Harry Jaffe, the Current and the InTowner’s headline writer.

Got a story you’d like to see discussed on next week’s Fuego/Frío? Think cupcakes are not, in fact, “so over”? Let us know in the comments.

On my commute home on the Green Line, I found an Express on an empty seat. [Whoever cleans Metro must be super pissed about all those copies of Express left on subway cars]. Anyways…what I read really got me down. Here are the things that depressed me:

1) The author of a book entitled The Geography of Bliss says his “happy place” is a Caribou Coffee in Silver Spring.

2) The WAKA Kickball people have enough revenue to place an ad celebrating its 10-year anniversary. The ad beckons readers to “Visit our website to network with other kickball players, check out gifts & gear…” I’m still deciding on whether I need a $29.99 “Kickball Superstar Folding Camping Chair.”

3) And finally…just reading the phrases “Mix It All Up Hybrid Style” and “Strengthen Your Core” made me sad. I will do no such things as core strengthening and mixing it up hybrid style.

Celebrating the Free Daily’s Gradual Liberation of the English Language

Date: Sept. 5, 2007

Page: 29

Possible Explanation: Express’ campaign against “premier” and its variants escalates today. A couple of handy rules:

• premier: first in importance (adj.); chief official (n.)
• premiere: a first performance, broadcast, etc. (n.); to exhibit or broadcast for the first time (vt.)

And they totally would have gotten it right today, except:

• “i” before “e,” except after “c”

Even better is the explanation of how a television series is broadcast—apparently TBS will show The Office in sequence, beginning with the first two episodes, then following with subsequent eps. Thanks, Express!

Celebrating the Free Daily’s Gradual Liberation of the English Language

Date: Aug. 27, 2007

Page: 10

Possible Explanation: Despite a wealth of errors to choose from— premier as a verb on page 27? the bizarre punctuation in the topper on page 16?—the double-entendre in this headline is today’s winner. And yet why can I not shake the suspicion that high fives were exchanged after this got past the copy desk?

Celebrating the Free Daily’s Gradual Liberation of the English Language

Date: Aug. 22, 2007

Page: 22

Possible Explanation: This typo falls into such a sweet spot of weirdness that it’s frankly impossible to tell whether Kevin Federline will be portraying a member of an influential band or one made up of Native Americans. We’re going to guess the former—making this a sticky mess, if you will.