Just kidding. But while you’re waiting, why not consider someone else who’s yet to officially quit but still has no chance whatsoever?

Eve Zibart told mediabistro.com that she’s taking the buyout offer from Washington Post management.

This is not good news. Zibart’s been a food writer at the Post forever, but I’m too busy eating to read about food. So I haven’t read much of her later work.

But before forever — back in the 1970s! — she wrote about rock and roll. I was a paperboy for the Post for most of the decade, and I remember sitting on my stacks of Sunday papers before delivering ‘em one morning in August 1978 and reading her feature story on the front of the Show section about Bruce Springsteen.

Eve had gone to a Michigan show and written about the experience. She made it all seem so exciting.

Springsteen was going to make his first Capital Centre appearance a couple days later (tickets were $8.80, he didn’t sell out), after a long, post-”Born to Run,” litigation-inspired hiatus from performing. And I was going to see him for the first time.

Springsteen was my Jonas Brothers back then, and up-to-date intelligence on your favorite rock stars was tough to come by. I saved Eve’s story, and still have it, brown and tattered.

If any article meant more to me before or since, I can’t think of it.

A friend of mine and occasional Caps ticket buyer got a taped phone message over the weekend from owner Ted Leonsis, asking folks to purchase playoff tickets ASAP, before the first-round pairings had been decided. Leonsis’ recorded pitch was aimed at keeping opposing fans out of Verizon Center, specifically fans of what at the time was the Caps’ most likely opponent, the Philadelphia Flyers.

Leonsis has gotten in trouble before for trying to stymie out-of-towners’ attendance. But I can’t quibble with his goal here. The great Dan Steinberg posted earlier this week about Philly fans and their habit of taking over the Caps’ house, which dates all the way back to the team’s founding in the 1974–75 season, which happens to be the last time the Flyers won the Stanley Cup.

Hockey meant a lot more to me then then it does now, and though the rivalry was totally one-sided throughout the 1970s—the Caps as a franchise didn’t even make the playoffs until 1983—the Flyers games always provided the most intense moments of the season. Not for what went on on the ice during the contests, but for all the fan violence in the Capital Centre grandstands.

Steinberg’s post and all the hype leading up to tonight’s series opener got me thinking about yet another a nostalgic column I wrote some years ago of how excited a kid I grew up with used to get when the Flyers would come to town. He knew he was going to brawl with at least a couple fans who’d beer-bused down to Largo from Philly with just as bad an attitude as he had.

And I used to get excited just knowing I was going to watch him brawl. Good times.

Kojo had a pretty interesting discussion today about the plan to let people sign away their rights and let police come search their homes for guns. The deal offers amnesty for the guns — ostensibly belonging to rascally grandsons — but not for anything else. And if the gun’s connected to crime, well, that’s that. I was pretty horrified to hear callers spouting nonsense about ‘if you’ve got something to hide, you deserve to get caught,’ and ‘crime’s so bad, we have no other choice.’ The dude from the ACLU tried to point out the problems with the plan but I don’t think it gets through to people. The whole “fear of crime” thing (what a weird, wiggly concept) seems to have finally trumped actual crime trends in determining appropriate sacrifices of our civil liberties. Most people actually believe the police have every right to enter your home, voluntary waiver or not. D.C. already wants to throw out the Second Amendment, maybe we’ll toss out the Fourth too.

I think they had a pie-eating contest in our student union when I was in college. This story reminds me it’s been a while since I was in college.

Spotted on Calvert Street NW this morning: Some rocket scientist riding a Vespa sans helmet. Normally I cheer on attempts to lighten the gene pool of IQs like his, but, seriously, Einstein—how about giving some thought to those of us who may be collateral damage when you have the inevitable accident on your fancy green moped?