Sometimes I hate to admit it, but I love college football. I grew up in Nebraska. It was all we had really. So even though I’m old enough to know better, I still spend way too much time obsessing about the Cornhuskers. This Saturday offered ample proof.

The football team was playing the Kansas Jayhawks in a Big 12 North contest. To most casual college girdiron fans, the game had all the sex appeal of a Colgate vs. Furman match-up. Not for me. Fox Sports Net was offering the game via pay-per-view, but as far as I could tell, I couldn’t buy it on Comcast, so I started calling sports bars. I’ve been down this road before. I’ve been told at least three other times that a certain bar would carry the game, so  I would dutifully drive there, order a beer and some grease, only to find out that, oh sorry, they don’t have my game after all. It really pisses me off.

On my third attempt to find a viewing spot on Saturday, I got a hold of the Green Turtle, a sports bar in the Verizon Center. The woman on the phone said they would have the game. I asked if she were sure. She said yes; they carry FSN and all its games. I emphasized that this was a pay-per-view game, not a regular FSN game, and I really emphasized that it’s a long way for me to drive there. She told me not to worry; they’ll have it.

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Kelly Young, City Paper’s former operations manager and a beer geek nonpareil, took my original question (”Will the move out of the state affect your opinion and/or purchase of Old Dominion beer?”) and gave me a master’s thesis on the importance of drinking local. An edited excerpt is below.

Now there are myriad decisions I make when purchasing brews. I like to try new and exotic things and explore this country and the world via its fermentables, but I always keep a special place in my heart for the local; after all this is, to me, what brewing is about at its core: a locally produced foodstuff. I think back to when I travelled frequently and there was nothing more disheartening than being at some far-flung locale and there being no local flavor at all. Stipmallism. [i.e., strip-mall-ism] One of the points of pride I had when visited here by fellow beer drinking brothers and sisters was introducing them to Tupper’s or Oak Barrel Stout (still in production, sort of). We could lay claim to it as ours, a truly local product. You could go to the brewery and drink out of the fermenters. You could talk to the actual human beings that brewed your beer. Now if you want to drink Dominion out of the fermenter or talk to the human that brews your “local” beer it’s 100 miles one way to Dover. BTW all their talk of environmental concern is bullshit. If they wanted to be truly green they’d leave ODBC alone and let them drive the 30 miles to downtown from Ashburn and sell their other product in Delaware. Bit of rant that.

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Someone just forwarded this ad for a Gin and Juice night at Smith Point, sponsored by LNS of course. I’m not sure exactly which design elements make the image so offensive. Perhaps it’s the randomly chosen photos of shirtless rappers? I have to wonder if the organizers just don’t realize that ironic/nostalgic references to Snoop lyrics come across as racist when the people making said references are best known for their trembling fear of Ethiopians. Or maybe it’s so meta I can’t even understand.

Just Asking: Which prolific local blogger is also an accomplished break-dancer? Spotted doing a perfect worm on the floor of a bar that would give it all away if I said the name.

Until this weekend, I thought the Washington City Paper had really cornered the market on news about D.C. -area young drunkies and things they do while drinking.

Now, I’m not sure.

Behold this month’s Washingtonian magazine, which includes a story that—I kid you not—features these things:

• A lead image of a girl (kind of chubby) giving a lap dance to a drummer.
• This first quote: “I just made out with a blonde!”
• A main character named Easy E.
• A photograph of a fridge with nothing but beer. JUST BEER. Where are the proteins? Where are the legumes? Where is the local B-list celebrity smiling nearby?
• A paragraph examining the male equivalent to cougars. “‘Do I want to have sex with 20-year-olds?’ ponders one 48-year old man from Fairfax. ‘Yeah, but not every weekend.’”

Well, this is certainly a change of pace. I am disappointed to report this article does not feature any high-ranking members of congress or campaign leaders (damn!). Read the rest of this entry »

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Last week, I wrote my Show & Tell column about two goth nights, Spellbound and Midnight, held within blocks of each other on Saturday nights in Farragut North. A few of the comments on the piece accused me of kicking up some controversy within the goth scene with my side-by-side comparison of the competing events. “Shame on you, city paper,” wrote one reader. “Nothing informative about the djs, the promoters, the spaces….but such emphasis on stirring up ‘goth scene drama.’”

For those commenters’ benefit, I’ve drafted this totally innocuous* report of L Street’s basement goth scene.

The Dark Nights: Inside L Street’s Dueling Peaceably Co-Existing Goth Parties

On Saturday nights, there are two places where you can go to dress up like a goth and hang out with other people dressed up like goths: Midnight and Spellbound. They are really close together and both have great DJs, promoters, and spaces. Did you know that Midnight is just as good as Spellbound, and that both are just as good as any other goth party that’s ever existed anywhere, and any other goth party that’s ever existed anywhere is just as good as any other niche scene event that’s ever existed anywhere? It’s true. Insider tip: Spellbound and Midnight love each other so much that they are going to get married. But don’t take my word for it. Ask the goths!

A goth: “Midnight has cake. But sometimes I don’t want cake. Sometimes I do, though. I just can’t choose!”

Another goth: “Both are so great!!!!!1″

Now for a more comprehensive inventory of how great they both are:

Midnight: Great.

Spellbound: Same.

Got Something for Show & Tell? Send tips to show@washingtoncitypaper.com. Or call (202) 332-2100, x 473.

* completely untrue

I just got a new apartment at 16th and Irving Streets NW. After dropping off the security deposit, measuring a space for a desk and figuring out where my records would go, I had one more decision to make: Where to celebrate?

I turned down Irving and made it to Mount Pleasant Street. I knew it well having lived in the neighborhood years ago.

The problem: The strip hasn’t changed all that much since I left. Gone: the wildly expensive organic grocery, the amazing pho place and the diner. Still around: laundry joints, cluttered discount shops, a great hardware store, a terrible-but-beloved bakery, and crummy restaurants aimed at the new homeowners.

The neighborhood joints range from just pretty good (Haydee’s) to always fun (the Raven). It’s the new places that are such disappointments.

A salad, a pizza, and two beers comes to $50 at Radius. Only the beer is worth it. Their pasta seems inspired by elementary-school cafeterias and Wheat Thins-covergal Rachel Ray.

Dos Gringos. Even the name is offensive.

Marx Cafe is the worst restaurant on the strip. I’ve eaten there twice. When it first opened, I tried a tofu dish that managed to be both bland and salty. A few months ago, I ended up there and attempted their hummus. It was the worst hummus I’ve ever eaten. It tasted like it came out of a can.

Tonic is pretty decent. But it’s bar food. Skip their brunch. Service is kinda slow and the food is pretty bland. Nothing inventive.

After some tense moments, we ended up at Radius for their pasta special. Big mistake! We grimaced through the greasy pasta. I came away thinking we should have just eaten in a different neighborhood. We could have walked down to U Street.

There has to be better food options on Mount Pleasant Street. Is the neighborhood only known for Laurie Collins, bad food, and people hating on Dos Gringos?

Last year, Mount Pleasant restaurant Tonic opened another outpost in Foggy Bottom, smack in the middle of The George Washington University’s creeping campus sprawl. Despite the name of the joint, Tonic co-owner Jeremy Pollok had a hard time getting the okay to use his beautiful new bar to serve campus regulars anything stronger than grape juice.

“We were open for the first six months with nothing,” says Pollok, who graduated from G.W. in 1994 with a Psych degree. Last winter, though, Tonic was freed to sell some tonics—beer, wine, and Bloody Mary’s for brunch. “We got a full license from the city, but we had agreed with the University to start off with just beer and wine to see how the students reacted and to see what sort of purveyors we were,” says Pollok.

After a successful semester, Tonic has finally earned a passing grade with the U., and is free to start stocking the harder stuff. Still, the Foggy Bottom outpost won’t offer up all the options of the Mount Pleasant location.

“We won’t be carrying Red Bull, we are not going to be serving shots, and we won’t have things like Jagermeister—you know, the foo-foo stuff,” says Pollok. “We are trying to reduce the risk of students—or anybody, for that matter—over-indulging. We are aware that we’re on a college campus, so we want to keep that at the front of our minds.”

It looks like PB&J Television’s proposed Late Night Shots reality show is really going to happen. According to the Examiner, this District ‘Hills’ is currently fielding “offers from three television stations,” and a deal is expected to be made within the next few days.

Who are the lucky instant television stars?

One thing is set in stone, however: the first cast members. They are local socialites / hotties / 20-somethings Katherine Kennedy, Krista Johnson and Sophie Pyle. Johnson’s younger sister, Alexa Johnson, may also play a role in the show. (Both Johnson sisters are alumnae of South Carolina’s College of Charleston, Kennedy graduated from Loyola Marymount and Pyle is taking a semester off from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.)

Hotties! Tell me more:

“It’s all going to be about our real lives,” said Krista Johnson, who is a partner at the Georgetown boutique We One You Two. “It’s going to be in the same vein of MTV’s ‘The Hills’ but ours is going to be more realistic.

Realistic reality? Oh, well. At least there are hotties.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.

(photograph by Pilar Vergara)

Hang on to your mats, gentrifiers. The much-anticipated revival at the former Church of the Rapture at 14th and T is getting closer and, this time, won’t involve the laying-on of hands…unless that’s some new yoga move? Boundless Yoga is moving into 1840 14th St. NW, where it will share third-floor space with City Dance; the second floor will be a comedy dinner theater; and the ground floor is planned as a Diner/Tryst hybrid.

At least that’s the plan. Constantine Stavropoulos and Co. have to get by Dupont Circle’s ANC 2B first. Stavropoulos, owner of The Diner and Tryst in Adams Morgan and Open City in Woodley Park, is giving a presentation about plans at Wednesday’s meeting at the JCC, 16th and Q, around 8 p.m. Things could get sticky, we’ve heard.

The large space across from Café Saint Ex has been basically vacant since the church moved out a few years ago. We wrote about dashed condo dreams there at the cusp of the bust and, more recently, about artists kicked out because of the open elevator shaft.

That shaft will remain a defining feature of the building, which used to be a Model T assembly plant in the 1920s. (According to Stavropoulos, bumpers and lights were installed on the third floor, they’d paint cars on the second, and showcase them on the first, moving the parts with the giant elevator.)

The restaurateur and AU grad says unlike Open City (which is more Diner than Tryst), the new place will be a true blending of the coffeehouse/lounge/makeshift office that is Tryst and the 24-hour eggs-shakes-and-alcohol that is The Diner. They’ll be separate-but-not, he says, so Diner people can still be Diner people here and Tryst people can still grab a couch, but there will be opportunity for Diner/Trysts meet-cutes and whatnot. There’ll be a full bar, too, along with outdoor seating, pending liquor board and ANC approval.

So far, neighbors seem stoked, according to Stavropoulos. “Every single person I met, and I was out there all day Saturday, in some cases chasing after people as they were walking out of their homes, said ‘It’s about time,’” Stavropoulos says. One dropped what she was carrying “and hugged me.” The owners of the respective businesses are working as a team and using the same contractor, although they may open at different times. Stavropoulos says he hopes to open his yet-unnamed venture in March or April of next year.

It’s a bit of a gamble for Stavropoulos and not exactly cheap—it’ll probably cost him $2 million or more by the end. “The landlord is putting up some allowances, but it is going to be quite a bit of an investment. I’m leveraging everything, the businesses, the house, the dog, the cat, everything… but we’re excited. We’re hoping this will have a positive impact on the neighborhood.”

Ever pass some new sleek club or divey pub and wonder what beers lie inside? As new bars pop up around the city, it can be hard to stay up on beer selection. So in keeping with my reputation as an enabler, here’s a few of the interweb’s finest sites to help you strike liquid gold.

Ratebeer and Beer Advocate are your best bets on finding the good  stuff. Their directory sections (called “Places” and “Beerfly,” respectively) both offer extensive reviews of bars and stores, and Ratebeer even has a neat Google Map mashup. What puts these sites at the top of the list is their community — the thorough reviewers can get down and nerdy, but these enthusiasts tend to offer the best tips on the web.

We realize it’s not all about quality, though. Save your booze dollars (or just stretch them further) with happy-hour finders like Bar DC and DC Happy Hours. There’s a panoply of these sites online, but these two have some of the more comprehensive listings. We also give kudos to the younger DrinkGuru. It seem to be still building its database, but it sports the cleanest, most navigable design of the bunch.

Meanwhile, keep an eye on Unthirsty and MappyHour. Both seem to be in beta mode, but also feature Google Maps interfaces.

We want it now: Beer Menus is the site we crave more than anything — a beautiful, simple directory of beer menus and prices all around the city. The problem? That city is New York. Damn yankees.

(Thanks in part to Webware)

Got a question about beer? E-mail the Beerspotter.

Last week, we reported that D.C.’s Best Dance Night would be moving on up to Club Five this Saturday. Now, it looks like the event will by moving across the street to MCCXXIII, at 1223 Connecticut Ave. NW. Club Five had its license suspended earlier this month after a stabbing occured in the club. Five was set to open again June 18th; according to ABRA, that suspension has now been extended indefinitely.

Miami Horror and Gameboy/Gamegirl are still set to play on the Nouveau Riche bill, but the move to MCCXXIII brings some changes in the event’s time, cover charges, and dress code, says DJ Gavin Holland. The details: The show starts at 10 p.m. Entry begins at $10 and jumps to $20 at midnight. The dress code, while relaxed to include sneakers, does stipulate some no-no’s. Writes Holland:

They have relaxed their normal dress code for us, sneakers are okay. However, no shorts, no sandals, and sadly no totally wacky shit. Basically, dress well by your own standards, but you don’t need to wear fancy shoes or any of that silly ‘club’ attire. You should be lookin’ snazzy for Nouveau Riche anyway, so this should be no different. My heart goes out to Life Preserver Dude from the 9:30 Club, you will not be able to wear your life preserver.

Local artist Adrian Parsons has revealed himself as one of the stars of ANC Commissioner Frank Winstead’s now-infamous clandestine ping pong youtube video, shot outside of Comet Ping Pong. Parsons says he recognized himself and opponent Karl Southgate immediately when he saw this video of the sidewalk match-up, posted last summer on DCist:

“At first i wasn’t really thinking it was all that harmful,” Parsons says of the video. “I thought it was sort of playful, that it was Winstead’s opinion and of no legal consequence. But when it started to look like the video might be a problem for Comet, I thought, ‘Well. That sucks.’”

Adds Parsons, “I was concerned that my face was on this advert that might serve to hurt James [Alefantis, Comet owner]. It was not something that Karl or I were interested in being involved in.”

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On Tuesday, downtown D.C. nightclub Platinum surrendererd its Alcoholic Beverage Control license in a hearing in front of the ABC Board. Platinum, located at 915 F Street NW, is owned by Abdul Khanu, who also owns Southwest Waterfront club H20 Restaurant & Lounge. The decision has also put a chill on Khanu’s proposed third nightclub, The Big Chill.

According to a memo from Sgt. Joseph Massey of MPD’s 1st District, which covers the neighborhoods of both Platinum and H20:

At the end of hearing, Platinum surrendered their ABC license and officially closed for good. The ABRA board decided that Mr. Abdul Khanu can hold only one ABC license in the District of Columbia (currently H20). This action places a hold on the new establishment which Mr. Kahnu was attempting to open in the 5th District (The Big Chill).