I’m a sucker for a good graduation speech. I mean, you have to sit through the service anyway. You might as well get a little inspiration. I remember the good speeches. And then, I remember hating certain speeches, though I can’t recall anything about them.

The address I heard last night—at a family member’s graduation—will surely fall into the later category. Dear lord, the speaker was awful. A few of his words of wisdom: “Avoid the herd mentality,” “Keep asking tough questions,” “Don’t look the other way in the face of injustic,” “True patriots are those that ask hard questions.” Can you tell this man was a politician? (After a while, I started writing down his litany of banal instructions.)

A family member told me not to blog about the speaker by name. But, as my attention began to wander, I couldn’t help but think: for god sakes, this suffering is unnecessary. I’d experienced both ends of the spectrum. There is a simple formula to use to ensure people will not hate you for prolonging their time sitting in uncomfortable chairs. Here are some tips:

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The University of the District of Columbia’s law school is surging in the U.S. News & World Report specialty ranking for the “clinical training” category. The UDC David A. Clarke School of Law, which won full accreditation from the American Bar Association only three years ago, has tied Stanford for 13th place (and clobbered 19th-ranked Harvard) on the 2008 list.

“It is a very big deal,” says dean Shelley Broderick, who notes that UDC law is the only law school in the United States without its own building (the school operates on two floors of a building at the university’s Van Ness campus). “If you look at how richly resourced the other programs are, you know we’ve got it going on at UDC.”

A legal clinic is a teaching method in which law students, under faculty supervision, learn the trade by representing actual clients in court. Broderick says that UDC requires more clinical credit hours than any other school in the country. The school’s predecessor, the Antioch School of Law, pioneered clinical legal training from its co-founding in 1972 by current UDC faculty member Edgar Cahn. Most law schools nowadays offer a clinic of some kind.

Broderick hopes the national recognition will “help us win the hearts and minds of those funding major capital projects” so the school can have its own home. She says the school wants to share a space near D.C. court buildings with other providers of legal service to the poor.

As you all know, the anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings is today. We wrote about the massacre’s immediate aftermath. The Roanoke Times did great work then and continues to do so today. The paper has a blog dedicated to today’s events, both big and small. It’s worth checking out if only to realize that yes, people are still thinking about this tragedy, that there really is no “moving on” or such a thing as “closure.”

Apparently, yes. Call me not Catholic (accurately), but I’d never seen the guy’s special-made vehicle before.

So, yeah, the Pope’s in town. Here’s some more information on his routes through the city and his schedule and engagements during his trip. Also, Dr. Gridlock at the Washington Post has some tips on how to avoid pope-related traffic jams.

It seems that the Post—along with its gazillion other blogs—now loves event blogging (for the new Nats stadium, for the Pope’s upcoming visit). Now we get to read its Virginia Tech blog marking the one year anniversary of the school shootings. The blog is being written—or at least this entry—by Tech student Austin W.G. Morton. So what’s Morton’s relevance? He was Seung-Hui Cho’s R.A.

After reading his serious, reflective post, I hope his entry doesn’t get too lost in the Post’s massive Web site. He begins his entry with a set of startling facts:

Forty. That’s the death tally for 10 months’ worth of shootings at universities. Arguably, three more - the number of student shooters - could be added to the total; although, whether they are included depends on whom you ask.

Since the April 16 shootings at Virginia Tech, three fatal shootings occurred on various college campuses around the United States: Delaware State University, Louisiana Technical College and Northern Illinois University. The cost in human lives is equivalent to that of one person per week.

And then Morton goes on to wonder if school shootings are preventable—he doesn’t think so. (Though he does endorse one prevention measure—serious at-risk assessment by campus medical staffers). It’s a conclusion, we made last year as well with this story.

Earlier this week, Slate ran its annual Teams We Hate feature. I’m a longtime contributor. Back in 2005, I took a lot of shit from Vermont fans who seemed utterly astounded that someone would actually hate Vermont. They didn’t come to that realization with a lot of grace. Last year, I hated on Notre Dame. Didn’t hear much back on that one, I suppose, because the Domers are used to being hated.

This year, I did West Virginia and USC (Southern California, not South Carolina). USC fans I’m pretty sure aren’t even fully aware they have a basketball team, but I was worried about the West Virginia fans. I took a low-blow shot about “Larry the Cable Guy aficionados” that I figured wouldn’t go over too well. I prepared to be shamed for indulging in such base stereotypes.

However, this particular e-mail chain—between a fellow Teams We Hate contributor and an irate ‘Eer—proves WVU fans deserve all the low blows they get:

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Hey, remember William Morva? The Dude-Ball-playing, barefoot, raw-meat-eating coffeeshop regular of Blacksburg? It took a jury under four hours to give him the death penalty. Can’t get enough? Check out Roanoke Times‘ online package “Homicide on the Huckleberry,” if purely for the title alone. —Jule Banville

Several sports blogs are reporting that O’Connell center Frank Ben-Eze has rescinded his commitment to play for Tommy Amaker and Harvard.

A lot of attention has come Ben-Eze’s way since a recent New York Times story about the changing state of Crimson basketball under a big-name coach. Ben-Eze would be the big prize of Harvard’s greatest-ever recruiting class.

Amaker, a fabulous high school and college player, hails from Falls Church. He should have attended my high school, Falls Church High, based on his address. Falls Church won four games in a good year.

But Amaker somehow ended up out-of-zone at W.T. Woodson, which, by amazing coincidence, had one of the best basketball programs in Northern Virginia.

I haven’t been able to root for him since.

Books, Inq., a blog by former Philadelphia Inquirer books editor Frank Wilson, points to an interesting post last week by Michele L. Simms, who’s taught at the University of Michigan and University of Rochester. She’s now teaching at Howard University and Prince George’s Community College, and she’s noticing a difference between reading habits at her previous employers and at historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs):

While I am far more tolerant of my students in the community college who are less likely to read a short story I assign since the majority of the students are at the college because they have not proven to be high academic achievers, I am intolerant of my students at Howard University, who are supposed to represent our communities’ best and brightest. Like so many blacks in my generation, Howard University has been positioned as the Harvard of the HBCUs. Although it may be somewhat conceivable for a white student to matriculate and graduate from Harvard without reading, I don’t have a Black friend who graduated from Harvard without reading. In fact, all of my friends and colleagues who are Harvard alumni are avid readers. I know that the majority of my students at Howard would not last one semester at Harvard without reassessing their commitment to reading, attending classes, studying, and improving their writing skills.

Announced today by the Nats and The George Washington University: That august institution’s baseball team will have the honor of being the first hardball squad to play at Nationals Park.

A March 22 game will pit GW versus St. Joseph’s in riveting Atlantic 10 action. Oh, and according to the GW press release, “The match between the Colonials and the Hawks will serve as a test run for the Nationals’ staff as they prepare for the 2008 season in their new stadium.”

Sweet! A chance for the interested fan/D.C. taxpayer to buy a ticket and see the stadium without the huge major-league/papal crowds, right?

Wrong:

The game will be privately ticketed and is not open to the public. A limited number of general admission tickets will be made available to the GW community after March 10. A valid GWorld identification will be required. Details will be released separately.

Not an auspicious beginning for our $611 million of public money, have to say. Chime in the comments with your own outrage!

Press release after jump.

EDIT: Right, so this was in the Post on Tuesday. I’m still pissed about it now!

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E. Ethelbert Miller is a poet and the director of the African-American Resource Center at Howard University. He is the author of numerous books of poetry and a memoir of fatherhood.

When I contacted Miller about this portrait, we discussed the quality of the natural light in his office.

“Does your office face south?” I asked Miller. “In Washington, D.C., southern windows get good light.”

“My office faces Mecca,” Miller informed me.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Which way is Mecca again?”

“I’m just kidding,” Miller said.

“Your guitar is ready for pickup,” a representative of Atomic Music informed me. We were communicating via cellphone.

“Do you mean the Gibson bass I dropped off last week?” I queried. “The yellow Gibson bass with loose electronics, and a possible microphonic problem?”

“Yes,” replied the Atomic representative. “This guitar has been repaired.”

“Excellent,” I replied. “I hear Barack Obama is speaking at the University of Maryland. Though I have lent my support to neither Barack nor Hillary—nor John McCain, for that matter—I am a sometime journalist, and I suspect that this Obama event may prove newsworthy. Though I will be late to the rally, it may be in my interest to attend. Because you are located near the University of Maryland, I can see Mr. Obama speak, then pick up my guitar.”

“Well,” replied the Atomic representative. “Your guitar will be here.”

“Capital!” I exclaimed. I donned a winter coat, exited my home, climbed into my black Toyota Matrix, and pointed the sleek vehicle in the direction of the University of Maryland. The Toyota cut through the crisp February air, a graphite-colored knife through butter. After thirty minutes of competent driving, I arrived at the labyrinthine parking lot of the University’s 18,000-seat Comcast Center. I parked in Lot FF and walked to the grand stairway that adorned the Comcast Center’s façade.

“Here for Obama?” inquired a University security guard. “Line starts three-quarters of a mile back there,” he replied, pointing to a obscure location over a distant hill.

“Is there a press entrance?” I inquired. “You may not realize that I am a member of the press,” I added.

“Press entrance closed already,” the security guard replied. “Where were you?”

“I suppose I was late,” I admitted. Though my whereabouts at any given moment are not really your business, I thought, but did not say.

“Well, you can enter with the general public,” the University security guard offered.

“I do love the public,” I agreed. I walked to where the guard had pointed—down a hill, over a bridge, up a hill, around a dorm, over another bridge, and up another hill—and joined a politicized caravan of bearded College Park students eager to hear Mr. Obama’s message of hope. The front door of the Comcast Center was in sight when an unidentified voice called out.

“They’re closing the door!” I heard. “Run!” The bearded students and I broke into a sprint, pushing forward at all costs to enter the Comcast Center. All sense was lost in the stampede. Backpacks filled with expensive textbooks were tossed aside. The overweight and handicapped fell behind. A half-finished Starbucks latte dribbled into the grass. Then, as suddenly as the mad rush had begun, it ended. I was swept through a glass door, whisked by a cadre of security guards, and thrust up an escalator towards the stadium’s cavernous space. I heard the cheers of the crowd and found a seat. Obama was about to speak.

After all this, I still have to pick up my guitar, I remembered. But has the microphonics problem has been addressed? What will the repair cost?

For years, I’ve been hearing about these big-time security breaches where hackers or somesuch mischievous types grab a hold of a whole bunch of social security numbers and crap like that. And for years I’ve been yawning and going about my business.

UNTIL TODAY!

Georgetown University, my alma mater, had some 38,000 names and SSNs stolen from the student activities office in the Leavey Center (GU’s wholly subpar student center). Friends have gotten this e-mail:

Dear Current or Former Students, Faculty and Staff:

We are writing to inform you that you are among a group of individuals whose personally identifiable information such as name and social security number may have been exposed due to a recent computer theft on campus. We regret this incident and wanted to alert you via email as soon as possible after completing our investigation of the nature and scope of the data at issue. Recognizing the seriousness of this incident and the concern we share for the personal security of those within our community, we are making arrangements to provide free credit monitoring services for you….

A thorough internal investigation of the data that was contained on the hard drive has now determined that the hard drive included personally identifiable information for students enrolled and some faculty and staff from 1998 through 2006. Since the files related to a range of cross-campus student financial transactions processed through the Office of Student Affairs, it pertained to students enrolled at the Main, Medical and Law Center campuses. No financial information, such as bank account or credit card numbers, was contained in the hard drive. This incident is limited to this one hard drive and does not extend to other University systems and services where personal data may be stored or updated.

Currently, I’m freaking the fuck out, fixated on how all my dreams of home ownership and car ownership and career success and old age and are all but certainly going up in flames! WHAT WILL I DO!?!?!

(Actually, I’m pretty chill, ’cause for all those years I’ve been hearing about these huge security breaches, I’ve yet to hear a single story about some dude who got his identity stolen because of it. And, hey, free credit monitoring! Long live blissful ignorance!)

This morning I was checking out an ad from Georgetown University in the Washington City Paper. Turns out that the U. is promoting some programs under its Georgetown Public Policy Institute. There’s the Master of Public Policy (MPP), there’s the Executive Master of Policy Management (MPM), and there’s the Master of Public Policy Evening Program (MPP-EP).

On that last one: How many graduates do you think leave off the “-EP” when it comes time to write up their resumes?

Ytit Chauhan is a sophomore at George Washington University. According to campus newspaper the GW Hatchet, he is also a former candidate for the city council in Atlantic City, N.J. Although he lost the race this year, there are future gains to be had! Chauhan is apparently going to be in a documentary about “young adults—five men and women ages 18-20—who are running for public office in different states,” according to the film’s IMDB page. The movie is being produced by David Letterman’s company Worldwide Pants Inc.

“At the beginning it was very hard to get used to,” said Chauhan, a sophomore. “They would film me from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. But it eventually became second nature,” Chauhan told the Hatchet.

Here’s a bit more from the Hatchet article:

Besides being a young candidate, Chauhan faced other problems including a lack of funding and organization, he said.

“I was focused on big issues, issues of corruption and bringing in change,” Chauhan said. “Since I was running for city council in a medium-sized city, people weren’t worried about the big things. It’s really the small issues that matter.”

He added, “If you are interested in running for office, you have to study the issues. You don’t have to have positions on every issue, but just know what the issues are. (People) don’t want someone who has all the answers, they just want someone they can trust.”