* The Post catches up with some Viking enthusiasts with a pretty serious RPG. Just don’t dish out pirate slang: “‘Wrong fantasy,’ muttered Viking enthusiast David Tristan” when confronted with an “Avast, ye matey,” the Post reports.

* Prince of Petworth stumbles upon a mailbox that doth protest too much.

* Mr. T in D.C. gets spied on at the gym: “Normally, I’m a strong supporter of photographer’s rights, in our post-9/11 security paranoia. On the other hand, I don’t want any photos of myself posted on upshortsflabbywhiteguyspumpingriron.com .”

* Upset the Setup has a new catchphrase for the Obama campaign, after campaign volunteers at a Detroit rally told two Muslim women not so sit behind the podium to reduce their visibility in photographs and on television: “That’s not change—that’s brand management.”

* m4intern finds possibly the douchiest craigslist missed connections ever:

You: You’re back. You Georgia Belles, you Texas cowgirls, Midwest farmer’s daughters, California girls, spunky New York girls. You’re all back. Back to rescue me from the dark, bleak winter months. After 9 hours at my desk, I walk out and there you all are. Walking around the Hill in your skirts and flip flops. At bars, tossing your hair and smiling at me from across the room.

Me: I’m that 20-something hill staffer. I have waited for this day for nine months. And now, you are back, Beautiful, you are back.

Photo by NCinDC.

* Enough already with the saccharine Russert tributes! says Jack Shafer of Slate.com.

*Onto a proper analysis of his “Meet the Press” replacement, says FishbowlDC. Here are the website’s contenders: David Gregory, Chuck Todd, Chris Matthews, Tom Brokaw, Gwen Ifill, George Stephanopoulos, Brian Williams, and Andrea Mitchell. Is anyone literally placing bets yet?

*Ugh, solid Keith Olbermann profile in the New Yorker. The “ugh” is for my  conflicted, uncomfortable state of mind while reading the piece. Great writing. Abrasive, frightful character.

*It’s summer. It’s about time someone covered the heat from this angle.

*And speaking of the year’s most leisurely period, it’s getting rather late to book your vacation. The Atlantic Monthly has a travel suggestion that might still have some vacancies.

*And while you’re over at that website, be sure to click by Hanna Rosin’s illuminating piece about poverty on the urban fringes.

The Heights Life finds a dude passed out on its front stoop: “On Saturday morning around 7:30 am, I found a guy sleeping on the front stoop of my building. No shirt, no shoes, but cell phone in hand. We had a lovely conversation.” Thankfully conversation jotted down for others to now read.

Penn Quarter Living appears thankful that Platinum has closed. Responses to the post want a more “appropriate” use for the “historic” building. (As one commenter astutely pointed out the Platinum space has been a club forever–or at least since the ’70s). The rest of the reactions went like like this one: “i am not one to go out dancing but i sure am doing a celebration dance right now here in my condo at this news!!!! yeah!!! i have been sleeping better since they closed their doors.”

So yeah, Typical. Look: You bought a condo in Penn Quarter. What did you expect? Ugh. Stop being whiny babies and realize you live downtown. Deal with it or move.

And Now, Anacostia notes that Eleanor Holmes Norton talked about east-of-the-river development. The Colbert Report star talked up Homeland Security moving on to St. E’s campus. Woo. Is this really something to brag about?

Metrocurean has had enough deep fried soft shell crabs: “Almost every soft shell I’ve stuck a fork into this season in a restaurant has been hiding in a cocoon of deep fried coating. Why do so many chefs batter the hell out of the poor, delicate creatures and toss them in a deep fryer?”

Eckington (Way Better Than Spotsylvania) celebrates the closing of the KFC at Florida and North Cap.

Tommy Wells appears to celebrate the death of a public school.

D.C. Foodies writes on making your own potato chips.

Your Morning Wake-Up Song: “Fuck A Perm” by The Coup (thank you Moistworks).

Police have ended the checkpoint in Trinidad. This a day after they said they would extend the checkpoint through Sunday, and a few days after they said the checkpoint would shut down on Wednesday. Chief Lanier has called the exercise a success: there was no violent crime in Trinidad while the checkpoint was up. The rest of the city was another story.

Metro is a mess again.

Maybe the Japanese are onto something: government-mandated waistline measurements. Only problem is the Times doesn’t say what the limit is for women.

Christians believe in aliens.

The Supreme Court believes they have the right to habeas corpus.

Did they play D&D in ancient Rome?

* The checkpoint continues, says the Examiner: Lanier has extended the Trinidad checkpoint from Wednesday to Sunday.

* Oooooh, buuuusted: textbooks at a private school in Fairfax County operated by the Saudi government have been found to “contain material promoting violence and intolerance.” When the books were made available to the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom for inspection, “there were indications of revisions—cutting and pasting of passages, and words whited out,” but some questionable passages remained, the commission said:

Particularly alarming passages were discovered in a 12th-grade Tafsir (Koranic interpretation) textbook and a 12th-grade Tawhid (monotheism) textbook, both of which clearly exhort the reader to violence, the commission said … Several passages in other textbooks promote intolerance toward members of the Ahmadi, Baha’i and Jewish faiths, as well as Shi’a Islam, according to the commission. [the Examiner]

* Prince of Petworth continues its series of interviews with area home renovators. This interview, with Stacey and Dan, is conducted by e-mail “due to scheduling conflicts (I kept getting too drunk and sleeping too late over the weekends),”writes the Prince. Photo extra: Big pile of rocks!

* McSweeney’s contributer Ken Saji imagines If A Unicorn Were On the National Security Council:

The unicorn presents a briefing memo written in watercolored rebuses. It’s 630 pages long. The unicorn states that it’s no small feat writing out “operational malfeasance” in pictures, and the president says, “Well, ain’t that the truth.”

* The Washington Post said “nipples.”

Photo of the scene outside hillary Clinton’s concession speech by adamsofen

*From the Washington Times: New Vineyard Will Be Maryland’s Largest

* From the Root: Young, Black and in Decline in the Obama Age? Teaser: “In the face of a changing national racial environment and on the heels of two presidential cycles, affected by mass voter disenfranchisement, there has been a considerable decline in the value of this demographic’s voting importance to the broader electorate.”

*Proving once again that you can always count on a couple wise, dispirited old people for quotes, Courtland Milloy writes about the contrast of urban violence and Obama’s success in his column this week. From the Washington Post: Shining a Harsh Light on Trinidad Neighborhood.

*From Esquire: 2008 Father’s Day Gift Guide. Yup, the big day is Sunday.

*Gasp! All these years we’ve been tragically misled. We don’t need eight hours of sleep after all.

DCist kills us and just about everyone else with its coverage of the Great Orange Line Train Derailment of ‘08 (When is a Gypsy Eyes band going to write a folk song about this Event?) It’s what blogging should be about.

Pop Cesspool says F(!) you(!) Boston and your spring-like climate!

New Columbia Heights spots this summer’s crop of interns. And they’re riding the Metro: “They’re easy to spot - blue collared shirt, khakis, confused/excited look on their faces, and always talking with their new co-interns about how many more stops they have to go.”

Apples and Bananas are anti-tomatoes right now. Boy did I look dumb last night at a Subway shop. I ordered up a veggie delight and really got stuck on the no tomatoes. I’m like: “Where are the tomatoes?” And then in my mind I’m all ranting about how the Subway–this one on MLK Ave–was inadequate because of its location, etc., racism, etc. The clerk had to tell me that in fact tomatoes are now poison, that he was saving my life by not putting three slices over my lettuce shreds. Thank you, Subway clerk. Sorry I thought the worst of you. In other veg-related news, a new vegetarian spot is set to land at 14th and Q Streets NW.

Metrocurean reports that some local big names won a few James Beard awards.

Intangible Arts goes hyper-local to cover WASA!

Your morning wake-up song: “Gonna Take A Miracle” by Alton Ellis. (Thank you Soul Summer).

*Photo of my brother and his wife. They leave for Honduras this Sunday. They will be gone most of the summer. I will miss them.

Obama and Clinton hold a secret meeting, right under our noses. Meanwhile, get ready for ClintonsforMcCain.com.

More details on this weekend’s checkpoints in Trinidad.

The Prince of Petworth noted this precious quote from a local drunk in a meeting transcript on North Columbia Heights:

Anonymous resident (self-described drunk who hangs out in the park): people in the park aren’t that bad, come on into the park, we welcome kids, we welcome the church.

Must-have from Craigslist: decapitated dolls! (Found by Mark Pike.)

Who’s for hose? Jezebel considers the very D.C. fashion question.

Congratulations! You didn’t get struck by lightning last night! Welcome to the morning.

*Read all about the storms here from the Washington Post.

*This is it: “Clinton to End Bid and Endorse Obama.”

*So, Clinton lost the nomination because she wasn’t ballsy enough? Meghan O’Rourke at Slate.com is suggesting that.

*Politico considers the Obama/Clinton ticket from numerous angles.

*And just for good measure, let’s throw into the mix this republican story from the New Yorker. It’s about political consultant Roger Stone.

*On the local front: Trinidad is becoming a police state.

* Barack Obama wins the nomination. With The Anacostia Diaries Blog throwing its support his way, he just might make it!

* Hillary’s nonconsession speech has Slate’s XX Factor seeing redheads:

Unfortunately, I kept thinking of that Gilligan’s Island episode in which Ginger acts out an excruciatingly long and melodramatic death scene. You keep thinking her every last gasp is really it. But then she keeps rolling around and twitching because she’s been peeking through her fingers all along and knows you’re still watching. 

* Local writer Holly Jones has a new Dispatch from the Anacostia, which follows the lives of volunteers in the Earth Conservation Corps. The April update follows Gemini’s dentist drama, introduces an unwanted long-legged text-messager, and reveals a new family development: “I’ve got to move out of that house. You know I found out that woman [her housemate] isn’t even my cousin?”

* Shocker: D.C. isn’t one of the 10 greatest towns for working artists. You’re better off moving to a bunch of places I’ve never heard of. [via Daily Campello Art News]

* All Our Noise follows Dave Nada and Jesse Tittworth on tour; Tittsworth promises Jesus appearance on next album.

* Photo of a loose Georgetown puzzle by rpongsaj

Intangible Arts visits “Trash People” a series of sculptures currently squatting in the National Geographic building’s courtyard. IA writes that works were “originally installed in 1996 in Germany and included one thousand such human figures, constructed from items retrieved from a dump in Cologne.” Close up, they look like mummies covered in gum or some old Manchester scene art. Pretty cool.

D.C. Sports Bog gets some pictures a lucky dude took crashing an NFL VIP party room. Why aren’t photos like this in the Washingtonian? I know. It’s almost cliche to spout off against this magazine’s choice in photo spreads. How many times have I debated this subject over beers at the Raven? OK. Never. But do we really need a photo spread devoted to a Ford’s Theatre gala? Or does anything with the word “gala” get the photo treatment: ladies in ball gowns, silver-haired gents in tuxedos. Boring!

Hey Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr.: Your website’s homepage sucks. Your ward is going to hell and you have a press release on your page from October 2007! It’s about a golf tournament you hosted to benefit kids learning to play…golf. Awesome. But is that really all you can do? Really.

And Now, Anacostia has some pretty sweet pictures of brickwork at 1909-1919 MLK Avenue SE.

Your morning wake-up song: “Collapsing At Your Doorstep” by Air France. (Thank you Gorilla vs. Bear)

Our president is a bro’: witness the chest bump. The guy who initiated the ritual man boob smack says he gave Bush “a little body language so he knew what I was about to do, so I didn’t knock the president on his rear.”Average is getting cheaper. Fancy more expensive.

The Post reports on a strange series of burglaries from deaf students near Gallaudette.

Apples and Bananas reminds us that strawberries and asparagus are here, and not for long. Time to stand in line at the farmer’s market.

Another happy reminder from WashCycle, as of Monday, DC won’t require cyclists to register their bikes, which almost none of them do anyway.

*Bumbling spokesperson no more, Scott McClellan is causing quite the uproar…what stage of it are we on now? The reaction to the reaction? Or the reaction to the reaction to the reaction?

*New York Magazine writes an entire article about a blog, which reminds me ever so slightly of Prince of Petworth. First the Emily Gould piece, now this…

*Washingtonian writes about brilliant brothers Rahm, Zeke and Ari Emanuel. Move over Foer family!

*Men: skip ahead to the next line. Women: here’s a link to the best drinks to have before Sex and the City. And here’s the Washington Post’s Ann Hornaday’s take on the movie.

*Intern season has commenced. Check out this list of places they might be heading if you want to avoid the crush.

* Shake some Old Bay on this: The Post gives the Old Man and the Sea treatment to Chesapeake Bay crabmen in a story about fishin’ ‘n Jesus. “In some other industry, some other place, all this might drive a man to drink,” writes David A. Fahrenthold. “On Tangier, it drove Eskridge to the Old Testament.”

* Former White House press secretary reveals President Bush “relied on an aggressive ‘political propaganda campaign’ instead of the truth” to … Zzzzzzzzzz [via WTOP].

* Daily Campello Art News’ Lenny Campello is thinking about rolling out a new picture. Let him know what you think. Advises one commenter:

i like the idea of updating a dated a photo, but unless you are trying to toughen up your image with the kris kristofferson (sic) dui mug shot aesthetic, i would keep searching for a better picture.

* A City Paper letter to the editor (Maternal Flame, 5/21) has caused quite a stir in the go-go community. The letter was penned by the mother of the manager of a go-go group called T.E.M.P.O. (who, mama says, “really cranks”). Still with me? The mother has the following beef with Justin Moyer’s One Track Mind on Mambo Sauce’s “Welcome to D.C.”:

Mambo Sauce is CERTAINLY NOT the “original go-go band that plays only all original music.” This is false and a ploy they use all the time to try to boost their group . . . Mambo Sauce does not acknowledge T.E.M.P.O, who my son, Charles, manages, because they know that they are soon to make their debut and fear what could happen knowing full well what T.E.M.P.O is going to bring to the table.

The 12 pages of responses posted on a TMOTTGG thread range from amazement at T.E.M.P.O’s very own postage stamp to lamentation that “Sumbody mother ready fuck their image up.”

Photo by Erin MC Hammer.

R.I.P. Sydney Pollack.

Penn Quarter Living climbs aboard the BoltBus trend. And discovers a block-long line to board the bus. We wrote about the new bus line back in March. But PQL has a photo (!) and endured the long line! Why travel to NYC when you could have witnessed Rolling Thunder? Honestly, those motorcycles don’t get old. Except when you are trying to get from Dupont Circle to Eastern Market (total time in the hot car: 1 hour). [I know, I should have taken Metro]. It was still fun to see all those Harleys. One more thing: DPW was out in force on Sunday towing cars near Barracks Row. So beware.

The Heights Life finds one of the best listserv posts ever.

Bloomingdale posts a letter from Harry Thomas Jr. inviting folks to a roundtable discussion tonight on the single sales of alcohol beverages. Frozen Tropics has the scoop on this event, too. Hey Councilmember, good luck. This is an oft-debated topic and one that will surely splinter into arguments over a) noise; b) panhandling; c) abandon properties; d) beer vs. wine vs. hard alcohol; e) neighborhood markets vs. neighborhood liquor stores. Here’s mine: If Giant can carry loose cans of Natural Light then why can’t the little guy?

And Now, Anacostia scoops everyone with this: HGTV and a cheesy-named organization were supposed to build a playground for the Bethel Christian Fellowship Child Development Center. Instead, at least for a while, the center just got playground parts. Worth a read. I wonder if the playground every got built.

Apples and Bananas reports that a new Thai restaurant is coming to Dupont Circle.

Your morning wake-up song: Joe Higgs’ “Life of Contradiction.” You can also find the MP3 by clicking here.