People still don’t get it: Man with H.I.V. sent to prison for trying to contaminate a police officer with … his saliva.

California high court approves Satan’s plan.

Did two people need to die here? A former diplomat shot and killed his sickly wife after finding her collapsed on the sidewalk. Then he shot himself.

The Smithsonian pimps itself out.

Woe to Gossip Girl fans world-wide, the CW is in trouble, and it’s all your fault.

Fun document from Princess Sparkle Pony: An appeals case from Texas in which the deadly weapon is none other than Baby Jesus!

*Edwards backs Obama. “The reason I am here tonight is the voters have made their choice, and so have I,” he tells the crowd.

*Marie Cocco of the Washington Post also writes a post-mortem on the Clinton campaign. But, her angle is quite different: “Misogyny I Won’t Miss” reads the headline.

*And the next Leonard Downie is…The Politico’s Michael Calderone writes about some possibilities floating out there.

*Barack Obama calls a female reporter ’sweetie, then apologizes for it, according to a Politico blog. One commenter response: “I can confirm that yesterday in Missouri he called a 9-year-old girl ’sweetie.’ He isn’t lying when he says it’s a habit.”

*Another person has been charged in the Sean Taylor murder.

*Marion Barry goes on The O’Reilly Factor. No joke.

* Via WTOP: D.C. ranks fifth on the national road rage scale. But rejoice! The District is still the “No. 1 place for drivers to slam on their brakes at the last possible second.”

* Item! Reliable Source keeps the snoozy Jenna Bush wedding deets coming: H.W. in seersucker! Housekeeper’s granddaughter-turned-flower girl! Ask Argetsinger and Roberts: “Think we can close the book on this wedding now?” Yes.

* For those who missed last weekend’s avant-alterna-mud fest, check out BYT’s Radiohead photoset.

* Prince of Petworth, pushing the boundaries of his “[item] of the [amount of time]” formula, posts a new Tattoo of the Week. File this one under “Obscure Reference of the Week”: “He mentioned it had something to do with Richard Pryor. Does that ring a bell with anyone?”

* Vice Magazine combines two fan favorites, cats and outfits, in this special feature on cats in outfits (complete with a positively haunting series of feline photographs). An interview with cat tailor Takako Iwase yields many gems, including this one:

Cats love to be complimented. You can’t be half-assed about it either. Yov’ve got to be like, “OH MY GOD, you are so CUTE, you’re the best cat EVER!!” and they will actually feel it and feel better about wearing the clothes.

* Oh, just put it all off and check out Slate’s procrastination issue.

Photo by Ralph Hockens.

New Columbia Heights starts a new series called Beer Run. While the Heights Life “investigates” a new wine shop. And Prince of Petworth writes that a tavern is coming to U Street which may or may not boast live reggae bands.

Mr. T in DC finds $20 on a Metro platform: “There wasn’t anyone nearby who may have dropped it, and my first instinct was to bring it to the station manager in case anyone claims it. However…” Go to the gentleman’s site to find out what happens next!

Penn Quarter Living wonders: What’s the frickin’ deal with big umbrellas? Pop Cesspool offers extensive coverage of a very wet Jazz Fest.

Your wake-up morning song: “We’re Through” By James Pants. (Thank You, Pop Cesspool).

Americans are still paranoid about seeming pink. The fine arts commission threatens to veto planned statue of MLK because it looks too confrontational, like Social Realist art from totalitarian Communist regimes. Puh-leeze.

I’m calling bullshit on this out of the gate. White House “study” links teen marijuana smoking to the risk of mental illness later in life. Wah? Any evidence that marijuana actually causes mental illness? How about a study showing that kids who listen to Nick Drake are more likely to suffer from moodiness? Or write crappy love notes? Zero skepticism from the Post.

An example of what sounds like Munchausen by proxy in Frederick, Md. The local paper also has a whodunit main story on several garden gnomes that appeared in front of downtown businesses yesterday.

And Now, Anacostia updates the Salvation Army construction. The assessment: “this is turning into somewhat of a hodge-podge monstrosity.”

Artomatic starts tonight.

Obama’s starting to assume a win.

• Today, the Post leads with this strange headline: “Did Rush Limbaugh Tilt Results in Indiana?” The Obama camp is charging that a radio crusade by Limbaugh dubbed “Operation Chaos” encouraged Republican voters in Indiana to vote for Clinton in the Democratic primary in order to prolong the nomination process. “Rush Limbaugh was tampering with the primary, and the GOP has clearly declared that it wants Hillary Clinton as the candidate,” whined Sen. John Kerry. People really do what Rush Limbaugh tells them to do?

• Prince of Petworth gives you an alternative to this: “Bit O’ Lit,” a new feature on newsstands which publishes excerpts from new fiction and non-fiction works, and includes dates of upcoming literary readings in the area. Bit o’ Lit claims it “provides a selection of top fiction and non-fiction excerpts each issue, allowing you to sample and evaluate books on your own terms.” The Prince has a good point: “Ok, but I’m not sure on who’s terms I was evaluating books before…”

• George Mason University has raised tuition by nearly 10 percent, the Examiner reports. In-state tuition and fees are now $7,512; out-of-state costs are $21,648. You’ve got a long way to go, baby.

• Slate’s Explainer explains who controls the contents of the D.C. Madam’s suicide note, which was released to the media on Monday. Law enforcement does—either the medical examiner or the sheriff—which means pesky journalists can FOIA those final words into full FoxNews.com PDFs. The physical property of the notes themselves are owned by the estate of the deceased.

*The North Carolina and Indiana democratic primaries took place yesterday. No doubt, results, colorful charts, and things of that nature are covering the front page of the New York Times website today.

*Alas the situation is looking reeeeeeallly bleak for Hillary Clinton, according to Slate.

*Perhaps, it’s time to concede the win and visit Charlottesville for some rest and rejuvenation, not to mention some great food there: “sushi worthy of Nobu in New York (the chef, Bryan Emperor, trained there), rustic but transcendent tapas, plus all the other things a great food town requires: standout bread, real espresso, artisan chocolate and locally brewed beer.” Yes, nothing but a “rustic but transcendent tapa” to get over your bowing out blues. The story’s in the Washington Post.

*But let’s not forget that Hillary isn’t the only empowered blondie out there getting a lot of attention. Barbara Walters, promoting her new book, is EVERYWHERE. Just look here, here, and in the newest Vanity Fair for proof.

*Michelle Rhee is also making quite a few public appearances for her job, according to the Washington Post. Unfortunately, her presence (and discussion about her decision to close so many schools) is engendering D.C. to Baghdad comparisons: “This is like the war in Iraq. Let’s invade, but we have no plan for the occupation.”

TPM questions Hillary’s sanity.

Renewshaw celebrates the opening of Corduroy: After digging the decor, they write: “Now on to the food. One word: delicious. Everyone at our table was basically licking each of their plates from start to finish.” We have our own post on the restaurant where we point out: the trendy spot is not handicapped accessible. Oh, we are such downers!

Penn Quarter Living notes that a creation of a new voting precinct is up for review on May 7. Here’s the reason for the possible new voting precinct: “With an influx of residents into the Mount Vernon Triangle and the lower and eastern part of the Penn Quarter, there have been calls for another voting precinct to be carved out of Ward 6 with an accompanying PQ voting location. Right now, PQ Ward 6ers have to trek over to Capitol Hill to vote.”

In Shaw finds the opposite of gentrification in….Florida.

Wonkette reviews the latest Obama ad and declares the candidate sucks at fighting. This leads to one priceless comment: “Why don’t they just show thirty seconds of kittens tussling in a basket full of yarn balls, then say that Barack Obama approves of these kittens? Same tone and damn near same message.” But Obama has Hanks!

And Obama has an early ’90s indie band ending its hiatus to rally for him! Just watch:

I actually got chills watching this. Maybe it was the fact that Superchunk played “Throwing Things.” I am so old.

The Grounds Crew checks out the MillerLite Beer Pen at Nationals Park.

Your morning wake-up song: Ponytail’s “Beg Waves” from its upcoming Ice Cream Spiritual. One of the best live bands going. Another great band from Baltimore. (Thank you Said the Gramophone).

The D.C. Madam had alluded to suicide before.

No big surprise, officers cleared in the shooting of DeOnte Rawlings. Still no explanation of how the boy got shot in the back of the head.

Has the election gotten boring? Lots of stories lately about poverty and the environment. (Not that this stuff isn’t newsworthy, the Wax Museum is evening cutting ticket prices!)

Mild May Day. Protesters fail to burn things or break windows.

Prince of Petworth reports on the “temporary” closure of the 14U coffee shop at 14th and U. What’s a cafe gotta do to survive in this city? Also, unrelated, my friend thinks the cafe’s name is pronounced, “One four U” (”One for you.”)

Something to inspire the birds and bees this lovely spring day: Salman Rushdie gets fresh with Scarlett Johansson

News for your mood:

GOOD NEWS:

*Happy: Some Cinco de Mayo activities are starting before May 5, according to Washingtonian magazine’s website.

*Happier: Salt lovers rejoice! Enough with the fussing about sodium intake, says an article in Esquire.

*Happiest: A dog in a scuba suit. Baby ducks. A five week old male lion. You win Washington Post, you win. : this will make the people happy.

BAD NEWS

*Sad: Zoe Cruz, “one of the most powerful and highest-paid women—people—in finance,” thought she would be the first female CEO of a Wall Street firm. Then, she was fired. New York magazine has the story.

*Sadder: “At least 41 children seized from a polygamist ranch in West Texas in April have had broken bones, and some young boys may have been sexually abused, Texas officials said Wednesday,” according to the New York Times.

*Saddest: Hands down, this New Yorker story about Moldovan women trafficked in international prostitution rings.

* The Post has the update about yesterday’s shooting at the Excel Institute. The shooter, identified as 27-year-old Wesley Johnson, shot two people and injured another with a car (he stole two). All are expected to survive. The motivation behind the shootings is unclear.

* Check out local writer Holly Jones’ March update in her Dispatches from the Anacostia series, which follows District youth in the Earth Conservation Corps Program. [via McSweeney’s]

* Earn Prince of Petworth bragging rights—and a t-shirt!—by entering PoP’s new logo design contest. Prince of Petworth makes t-shirts?

* Intangible Arts wonders about the new Pete’s New Haven Style Apizza that opened up on 14th & Irving earlier this week. Namely, what’s “New Haven-style” apizza? And, while we’re at it—what’s “apizza”?

* Tonight, hear Mount Pleasant—and help out fire victims—at the Mt. Pleasant Fire Victims Benefit Concert at La Casa. The line-up of seven local bands includes Wild Fictions, The Coats, and Ra Ra Rasputin [via BYT].

* I’ve just stumbled across this 2005 list of awesome weatherman names via The Morning News. Weatherman name lister Clay Risen (ever think of going into meteorology, Clay?) places WUSA’s own Topper Shutt at No. 3, but first prize rightly goes to Atlanta’s Flip Spiceland. Writes Risen:

If Flip Spiceland is a made-up name, then the Atlanta area’s leading weatherman deserves a Nobel. Had Faulkner invented a character named Flip Spiceland, he would have put down his pen, lit a cigarette, and said, “There, I’m done. All my genius exists in that single name.” But he didn’t, and so we have Flem Snopes instead. Fortunately, we also have Flip Spiceland, bearer of the best weatherman name ever.

Prince of Petworth attempts to solve this problem from a concerned reader: “I just moved to Petworth this past weekend. I got a warm welcome from a family of raccoons last night.” Yikes! Hmm. Can a blogger—even a blogger as well informed as PoP—really solve this problem?

And Now, Anacostia offers an update on development 1901-1919 MLK Ave with photos!

New Columbia Heights snapped a great photo of some Target-related traffic oops. Is it me or is Columbia Heights sprouting bloggers with each new store opening? Anyway, this blog seems pretty on the ball.

14th & You spies lots of police activity.

Upset the Setup posts a clip of Head-Roc on gun violence. A worthy listen considering this past weekend’s crime spike.

I discovered my new favorite radio station.

Your morning wake-up song(s): White Denim’s Daytrotter Sessions.

*Washingtonian tells the story of a tiny little old lady working as a prep cook at Circle Bistro. She’s 81, and still going strong.

*Hillary Clinton: File this article under “stories to ignore.” The New York Times says Barack Obama would do equally as well as you in the general election.

*Remember this past fall when there was a much-publicized hate crime nearly every week? Well, here’s an update on one (from DCist) that involved Georgetown students.

*This Texas polygamy story keeps getting stranger.

*Affordable housing advocates want an additional $15 million in the budget for the development of low-cost units. Give ‘em $30 million! says Marion Barry. The story’s in this morning’s Washington Post.

*The Arizona Republic reveals the secret of how to make serious money if you work in the alt-weekly business…

* Hey, can I get a transfer? Former metro official Marcia Anderson will appear before court today to answer to charges of stealing half a million dollars in metro cards and bus tokens [via The Post].

* Happy Administrative Professionals Week (formerly Secretaries Day). Why Slate’s Melonyce McAfee hates this:

The confusion over who qualifies as a secretary creates social anxiety about either over-celebrating the holiday or under-celebrating it … Mail-room guy, copy clerk, typist, receptionist, administrative secretary, executive assistant—are you low enough on the totem pole to merit a gift? Or are you too low?

* Prince of Petworth guest poster Eric Nuzum offers up recipes for drinks inspired by the Columbia Heights, Adams Morgan, Mount Pleasant, and Petworth neighborhoods. They all look gross, but “The Mount Pleasant” might make you a bit sick to your stomach for other reasons:

“The Mount Pleasant”
Ingredients:
1 oz 100 proof Cinnamon Schnapps
Dash of pepper
Dash of Tabasco sauce
1 book of matches
Instructions:
Mix shot. Light match. Drink shot. Extinguish match on tongue.

* In related news, mark your calendars for a Mt. Pleasant Fire Victims Benefit Concert at La Casa, featuring seven local bands (including Wild Fictions and Ra Ra Rasputin), one week from today [via BYT].

This is why blogs are important. This is why blogs should not just focus on the latest condo/fake-dive-bar opening. Please read this post from Brightest Young Things. [Yeah, I know DCist already linked it. But it’s that good]. And now for more posts on bars, art openings, and sports….

The Sports Bog notes that Philly fans really suck. One Caps fan reports: “We weren’t even 100 yards from our car before the first A-Bomb and F-Bomb hit. Can you write we were sodomized verbally? That’s the way I felt.” Still, The Caps Prevail. The Verizon Center is going to be crazy for Game 7. Having been to three Caps games in my life, I am almost starting to care. I actually checked for updates on the game several times last night!

Metrocurean reports that the Hotel Monaco Alexandria is hosting a dog-friendly happy hour every Tuesday and Thursday where pooches will get “complimentary gourmet treats and bowls of fresh water.” Humans can choose from the usual cocktails and pick food from the human menu.

The Bloomingdale blog really, really wants you to visit 52 O Street Studios this coming weekend: “TWENTY-FOUR ARTISTS, in one building, working in a wide range of media and styles open their studios for a rare glimpse into the process behind their art. This free event provides the visitor the opportunity to purchase artwork and meet the artists in a relaxed, inviting atmosphere. Occupying 28,000 square feet, over four floors, 52 O Street Studios is one of the largest and oldest buildings dedicated to the practice of Fine Arts in Washington, DC.”

Penn Quarter Living reminds readers to attend the Pennsylvania Quarter Neighborhood Association breakfast meeting tomorrow(!) at Bar Louie. Councilmember Jack Evans is the guest speaker!

Tommy Wells trumpets his Ward’s strong showing in our Best Of D.C. Issue.

Your morning wake-up song: “Walk it Off” by The Breeders (thank you Fluxblog).

*photo courtesy of Prince of Petworth.