Today’s Washington Post article about pro-life pharmacies refusing to dispense birth control pills and condoms, and ambulance drivers refusing to take women for abortions, raises important questions, like: Are women really taking ambulances to their abortions? I’ve never heard of that before.

I called American Medical Response—an ambulance company in Northeast—to ask if they’d ever heard of a woman being taken by ambulance to get an abortion. A dispatcher named Kiesha sounded flabbergasted at the suggestion.

“An ambulance? To get an abortion?” she said. “No, I’ve never heard of that.”

My sample of one having said her piece, I wonder—have you ever heard of anyone taking an ambulance to get an abortion? And if it turns out that no one takes ambulances to get abortions in the first place, does it matter if ambulance drivers are refusing to take women to their abortions?

Two years ago, when Brennan Proctor opened Uncle Brutha’s Hot Sauce Emporium in a stand-alone store, he knew he was entrusting his profits to impulse buyers. People don’t make a special trips just to buy condiments, at least not the way the masses converge on the market for cookies and produce and fresh meat.

But in 2006, when Proctor signed the lease on his shop on 7th Street SE, the area around Eastern Market was booming and he felt confident the crowds would toss enough cash his way to make the rent. The fire last May changed that. With the precipitous drop in foot traffic, Proctor says, he hasn’t been able to maintain growth. When his lease ends at the end of this month, Uncle Brutha’s will close.

“The local community has continued to support us but it’s just not enough,” he says. Proctor says he will go back to hawking his signature No. 10 (the red one) and No. 9 (the green one) sauces at various market stands and is working on getting his sauce on tables at local restaurants. So far, he’s sold bottles to B Smith’s, Bread and Chocolate, and the Nationals Park. Uncle Brutha’s will also soon reappear on the shelves at area Whole Foods, which haven’t carried the hot stuff for a few months because Proctor was having a problem with his distributor.

Dear Spike:

I saw you on Saturday walking up 18th Street NW—just a few days after you were eliminated on Top Chef for the mistake of thinking you could make something edible from frozen scallops. Oh, Spike. We passed each other in front of Tryst. Maybe you saw me, too. I definitely noticed you because you were wearing one of your trademark hats, the kind of hats maybe a Beastie Boy would have worn back in the day. Maybe that look still works in Williamsburg. I don’t know. I don’t get up there all that much except for shows.

I also picked up the fact that you were clutching a clipboard. Did you need me to sign something? You should have asked. I am generally against wars, generally very pro-environment, and definitely have a thing or two to say about meters in cabs. But if you had asked, I probably would have told you that I couldn’t sign my name to such causes because I am a journalist. You would have thought I was a righteous jerk. You may have then muttered something about my free weekly seeming smaller than it used to be. So I’m thankful that we only passed each other on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Don’t worry this is not going to turn into one of those ads frequently found in the back of this publication. Nor can this be a Gawker-stalker style piece. You have probably long since left 18th Street—so what would be the point?

You are probably wondering why I am bothering to write about seeing you. I’m writing because you just looked so down. Maybe you are sore about losing to that chef who makes gross faces at the judges during elimination rounds. Maybe you are still upset that your frozen scallops didn’t beat out her peanut-butter mashed potatoes. Maybe you are tired of wearing those hats.

I am full of speculation because we didn’t talk. We just passed each other. I was too chicken to say anything.

I’m here now to tell you to chill out. You still have your burger restaurant opening, your “pilot” that will surely launch a burger franchise. You still seem like a pretty good chef with a passion that translated well at least on television screens. Don’t worry. There’s no way that you turned into this guy.

Anyway. So when is that restaurant opening here? And who do you think will win Top Chef?

–Jason Cherkis

How do you strike out on your own if your dad already sells bling? Jon Mervis says selling t-shirts is a lot like selling diamonds. They’re both “emotional products.” To be honest, my emotional reaction to most of these Tee’s is, Uuuuggghh. But, you gotta hand it to the kid for going all the way in terms of silk-screening the worst one-liners of co-ed life, like: “I’m not a carpenter, I just bang a lot,” “Classy girls deserve pearls,” and “Freshman girls: get ‘em while they’re skinny.”

Some I don’t understand: “my roommate is gay.” ?

Below, the old adage: two buns for every sausage.

Last week, the National Cathedral announced it would be cutting 15 percent of its work force, or 33 jobs, as part of both a new strategic plan and the reality of an economic downturn. Margaret Bergan Davis, associate dean of the Cathedral, confirms the greenhouse employees are among the cuts and that the greenhouse itself will close June 29.

This has some in the neighborhood a little worked up. Sioban Farey writes the “Cathedral greenhouse and nursery is too valuable to our community to lose…we need to find ways that we could work with the Cathedral to keep it open for many reasons….”

The small greenhouse, in need of repair even to an indifferent observer and located on the south side of the Cathedral grounds, is more than a retail store, Farey contends. In a pitch to fellow members (some 6,400 of them) on the Cleveland Park listserv, Farey argues they can work with the cathedral’s staff to reverse the decision.  “It is absoulutely congruent with the Cathedral’s mission to minister to all people of all faiths and none—what is more universal than plants/nature?”

Davis says that while she appreciates the appreciation of the surrounding neighborhoods, the decision will stand.

“I know the loss of the greenhouse is sad for many peoople,” she says. “I hope they understand that the greenhouse is from an era when the Cathedral needed that structure to grow its own plants and flowers. With the many different garden centers, the Home Depots in the area, etc., as beautiful and wonderful as the people are there, the idea of having plants for sale truly is not part of the foundational mission for the future,” she says.

Davis declined to say how many people who now work at the greenhouse will be laid off. She also said that the stragic plan cited as the primary reason for the changes was realeased 18 months ago, so some of these changes have been coming for some time.

Early next week is one of the great annual events in District politcking: the trip to the yearly convention of the International Council of Shopping Centers in Las Vegas. There, from Sunday to Tuesday, local politicos, bureaucrats, and developers do their damnedest to land commitments from big-time national retailers.

In past years, Mayor Anthony A. Williams was a frequent attendee, as well as then-council economic development committee chair Vincent Orange and occasionally a couple of other councilmembers. This year, the delegation has grown: eight councilmembers—Chairman Vincent C. Gray, Ward 2’s Jack Evans, Ward 4’s Muriel Bowser, Ward 5’s Harry Thomas Jr., Ward 6’s Tommy Wells, Ward 7’s Yvette Alexander, Ward 8’s Marion Barry, and At-Large Councilmember Kwame R. Brown—and seven council staffers are slated to attend, in addition to Mayor Adrian M. Fenty, Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development Neil Albert, and three of his staffers.

And, as with so many instances of intergovernmental relations these days, there are apparently some issues. The council has had a hard time getting a complete schedule of meetings from the executive branch. That’s important, LL’s sources say, because it gives the impression that the mayor is calling the shots as far as who can attend which meeting with which potential retailer.

“We want to be on the same page, so were disappointed the executive is making the sole decisions,” says Alexander. “We don’t want to look like we’re disorganized.”

Gray, a source says, requested a full schedule from a mayoral staffer at a meeting yesterday but has yet to receive one. LL is also told that Brown, current chair of the economic development committee, was none too happy with the snub. Reached by LL, though, Brown declined to feud with Hizzoner. “There’s no problem,” he says.

UPDATE, FRIDAY 1:16 P.M.: Gray’s chief of staff, Dawn Slonneger, calls to say a full schedule was provided by Albert’s office last night. Everyone’s happy again!

Today, Mayor Fenty announced that the city had finally figured out what to do with the old convention center site: sell it to a giant luxury hotel for out-of-towners.

For a long time, as many readers know, a great debate raged about using the space to build a new central library. This library would essentially replace the historic MLK library. We wrote about the debate in a super cover story [which I can't seem to find] and we ranted about the libary back in the day. Oh how the civic discourse flourished!

Well, not really. While this city desperately needs a new library, hearts and minds shifted towards retail! Yeah! Other cities have used a new library as a cultural hub. Instead, we will be stuck with MLK Memorial Library forever. I’m fine with keeping the hunk of modernism. But it would have been cool to actually get a real up-to-date library.

Of course, the new hotel will have retail on the first floor. And the city gets final say on which chain will get to move in (Ruby Tuesday or Five Guys? Fedex/Kinko’s or CVS?). It would have been a nice move if city officials went with the greater civic good instead of a luxury hotel.

The hotel benefits none of us. (Except for the 10.6 jobs given to District residents).

Fenty was in full hype mode when discussing the project. The Post reported: “It is time we start calling this place what it is, our City Center,” Fenty (D) said in a statement. “CityCenter DC is going to be a true retail and entertainment destination — the heart and soul of our dynamic new downtown.”

Say what you want about Mayor Anthony Williams‘ tenure. But at least he had the guts to propose a new central library. How can the soul of our new downtown be a luxury hotel?

Several years ago, during a staff meeting, I stood up Obama-like [OK--Kerry-like] and declared that we needed to call for an end to business as usual in Washington. The paper needed to let me write a gazillion-word rant–or at least a 100-word item–against flip-flops.

Flip-flops should not be worn when walking city streets. They are ugly. Sandals are OK. But flip-flops are stupid. I just think those shoes are not meant for cities. If we aspire to a certain gritty good time, flip-flops shouldn’t be part of the landscape. You can wear them in college. You can wear them at the beach. You can wear them in your gym’s locker room. But that’s about it.

Maybe you all can see why I wasn’t allowed to write my rant. In fact, I was pretty much laughed out of the room. The response to my rant idea was brutal.

But now comes DCist with a report on the Black Cat banning the offensive shoes. Finally, there are people out there who agree with me.

DCist marks the one year anniversary of the fire that gutted much of Eastern Market. Apparently, the renovation project will be finished months and months behind the promised deadline of January 2009. So what’s stalling this project? The blogger notes several important issues and does a good job illuminating them. One biggie: Interest has faded.

Some of this can be attributed to the simple fact that we all just move on to the next big news story: the fight over the school closings, Banita Jacks, a crime spike, Sean Taylor, Nationals Park opening, the Mount Pleasant fire, etc.

But I also think that maybe—just maybe—people don’t really care about Eastern Market. Every other neighborhood seems to have a farmer’s market. And some of them are better–and actually sell local produce from local farmers–than the Cap. Hill mothership. If you can pick out a good cut of lamb or a tasty apple a few blocks from your front stoop, why bother with Eastern Market? Before the fire, Eastern Market was the place you took your parents.

So there are delays. And still, no one has figured out the actual cause of the fire.

D.C. Foodies has a nice little scoop on Murky Coffee, which City Desk has been following like a lost dog. It appears many of Murky’s assets have been bought by a local businessman who plans to open a coffee shop near the Big Chair in Anacostia. A little digging unearths the Big Chair Coffee Business Plan, put together by sole owner Ayehubizu Yimenu, who appears to live in Greenbelt, Md. Left a message for him, but here’s the deal:

• The coffeeshop will open at 2122 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave. SE and plans to serve sandwiches, salads, and pastries. Customer base includes employees across the street at D.C. Lottery and the Taxicab Commission.
• It’ll be open Monday through Friday until 6 p.m., closed Saturday, and open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday, “delivering superior service to a community other coffee shops do not operate in.” Indeed Big Chair Coffee counts as its only competition a carryout deli half a block away.
• Beverage prices will range from $1.64 (12 oz coffee) to $3.92 (20 oz latte). Beans will come from California Coffee Roasters. Cold sandwiches made in-house will go for $5.49, salads run to $6.29.
• There will be indoor and outdoor seating.
• Employees will include two managers and four to eight more workers. Free samples and a marketing blitz are planned for the neighborhood.

Photo by jgoldmania

Fisher today stands up for bags, free bags of any kind. Since Whole Foods is effectively getting rid of plastic bags today, the Post columnist argues that the question: “Paper or Plastic?” was a great conversation starter at checkout lines everywhere.

Fisher writes: “I’ve found that ever since ‘How are you?’ became so ubiquitous and so routinely ignored as entree to conversation with strangers, it has taken words such as ‘paper or plastic’ to shake people out of their blank stares on the cashier line. A small thing, to be sure, but I usually end up enjoying those brief exchanges with the supermarket workers, and I often learn something from overhearing the conversations ahead of me on the queue.”

Let us now all worry about Marc Fisher. Mr. Fisher, let me just say, you seem to be a really nice guy and a great journalist. You appear to have a lot of sources and enough time to attend games at your beloved Nationals Park. Surely, you must have great conversations outside of the checkout line. So chin up!

Maybe this is how Fisher gets his story ideas. Or maybe he just gets lonely waiting in those long lines. Maybe the Nats aren’t the universal citywide conversation starter like the Redskins are. Then again, maybe the loss of this question will actually make the lines move faster.

This past Saturday was National Record Store Day. So vinyl nerds and Yo La Tengo fans [OK they are the same] were finally given a special day to scuttle out of apartments, discover day light, and join the masses hungry for free shit, discounts and live in-stores.

The Day turned out to be more fun than seeing nerds in sunlight. It was actually more fun than all the pre-day hype.

The Day wasn’t necessarily aimed at the nerds. Nor was it pitched toward exposing the freeloaders to something they haven’t yet sendspaced.

The A-and-B listers called on to provide testimonials and flog the event have long ago started averaging three stars in Rolling Stone. In other words, we’re talking Paul McCartney and the Boss. Or they were as old-timey as Chuck Berry and Henry Rollins. Or they were Joe Satriani and the drummer from Flipper. Not exactly preaching to the ones who need converting.

I had worries that the whole thing was going to feel like one of those sermons the industry now provides late in the Grammy telecast. You’ve heard it before: the industry is dying, stop stealing music, etc. Even Metallica was participating. Or it would turn into an excuse for the industry to give away last year’s crap no one bought.

But this Day was aimed at the people the industry screws the most: the indie record store owners. If the music biz wants to save itself, they could do better than giving the stores a special day. The industry could stop giving sweetheart deals to the Big Boxes, and stop listing new records at inflated prices. At least on Saturday, the big labels paid attention to the little guy!

I was able to check out Smash and Crooked Beat. Both Adams Morgan stores were crowded and festive. Crooked Beat reported giving away all of its grab bags within an hour of opening up. Sales appeared brisk; the new releases seemed mostly sold out. It was great to hear the store crank up The Argument. So yeah, the nerds got to nerd out. And maybe the store got some new customers.

But now that the day is over, let the debates begin. One has started up over on our music blog.

–photo of Crooked Beat’s Bill Daly courtesy of mudsugar.com.

Prince of Petworth hears a rumor that a new CVS may open up on a Georgia Avenue lot near Princeton Street. This is the sight of the old Farmer’s Market. So no upgrade for sure. Some comments posted are extremely polite or even joyous. Which is a surprise because let’s face it: Is there a place more hellish than a CVS?

Still. A lot of good comments. Comments like: “My vote is for the empty lot” and the suggestion to replace the lot with a badminton court or “lazer tag arena.”

Who could be against Lazer Tag?

A few weeks ago, Mr. T in DC complained about the new crossing guards posted at the DCUSA’s Big Box Heaven in Columbia Heights. Mr. T writes:

In one sense, their deployment is a remarkable show of efficiency and planning by the DC government. In addition, the city repaved a bumpy stretch of 14th just north of Target, and laid down new crosswalk striping at some of the key intersections in the vicinity….

However, it seems to me the crossing guards are actually slowing things down for both vehicular and pedestrian traffic. The mere presence of people in the middle of the road, wearing bright yellow, waving arms, and blowing whistles is causing some hesitation, especially when they contradict the traffic lights. For pedestrians, they are slowing everyone down by insisting on strict but unrealistic compliance with the walk/don’t walk signals.”

I think Mr. T has a point. I know I hesitate just a little bit when turning on to my street. Hey! I don’t want to hit and/or piss off one of those whistle-blowing crossing guards! Still. At first the traffic wasn’t terrible with the new Target. It just meant that nearly every day felt like Sunday. Instead of churchgoers parking on my block, we have shoppers clutching huge reams of toilet paper.

The traffic has become terrible. I noticed with the opening of Best Buy, 14th Street NW became what we all thought it would–a huge headache. This past Saturday, a line of cars stretched from 14th and Irving to well past the old Giant. Basically, the traffic was backed up as far as the eye could see. It was around noon.

Read the rest of this entry »

Harris Teeter announced that it’s following right in line with Fenty’s plan (and fat tax incentives) to make NoMa a reality and not just a silly name used in press releases. In a press release, ‘Teet officials say they’ve actually been sizing up NoMa “for the past several years” and plan to open a full-service grocery at First and M Streets NE in the winter of 2010.

This will be the third Harris Teeter in the District, none of which are actually open. The first one, which as we all know was supposed to open on Kalorama in Adams Morgan two years ago, is now scheduled to open on April 26, according to a spokeswoman. She also said that the store going up on Jenkins Row in Capitol Hill will be ready by mid-May.

The NE store will spread out over 50,000 square feet on a single level of Constitution Square, most of which will be occupied by the Dept. of Justice. Also going in: 440 new apartments, the requisite “retail space,” and 150 parking spaces.

“It is quite unique for a high-end, full-service grocery store like Harris Teeter to commit to a new store so early in the development of an emerging neighborhood,” says Elizabeth Price of the NoMa BID. “You just have to look at how grocery stores have transformed neighborhoods in other parts of the District to realize the significance of this lease.” Cue our guy, Mr. Renaissance.