Dear Landlord Dude:

I saw your ad in the Post and called you yesterday afternoon. The apartment you were offering sounded good enough: 1700 block of Corcoran, $1900, one-bedroom described either as “sunny” or “cozy” or “featuring hardwood floors.”

I thought: I just can’t swing that kind of rent. Not even sharing that kind of rent. No way. Not unless I want stomach aches and no fun for the rest of my life (or at least through the terms of a one-year lease). But screw it. You told me to meet your guy at 5 p.m.

When your guy called my cellphone at 4:30 p.m. to ask where I was, I explained the 5 p.m. meeting time. I was “sunny” on the phone. I told your guy I could change our meet-up time to 4:40 p.m. I showed you—or your guy—that I could be whimsical, flexible, and carefree. I showed that if say the A/C didn’t work I could play along, adjust my schedule to fit your schedule. That’s just the kind of person I am: “sunny.”

But anyway. Thanks for wasting my time. Your ad said nothing about the rundown closet, the stove that looked like it had last given heat to a crack pellet, and the hardwood floors being just the right shade of beat up. Nor did your ad promote the view from the small living room: a Supercan.

I wouldn’t normally care. But you kind of ruined my afternoon. We renters take your ads as truth. They swiftly become the start up points for little dreams. Not big dreams of flat-screen televisions and warm glasses of cocoa. But simpler stuff like being able to live reasonable and sort-of content. We think of all the good times we’d have with your hardwood floors and central AC. So when we show up to find our dreams replaced with the outlines of a slum, we can only be disappointed. Deeply disappointed.

I ended up leaving your rental after about 10 seconds inside. I didn’t need to inspect the small closet to realize I ain’t ready for a $1900 un-sunny junior one-bedroom with view of Supercan.

Walking away, I filled 17th Street with whispered curse words about fairness and the impossibility of living here. Talk about crushed dreams. Two years ago, an ambitious resident could find a two-bedroom dump for $1900.

Not any more. Now there are only over-priced one-bedroom dumps.

Sincerely,

Jason Cherkis

P.S. 17th Street NW hasn’t changed in at least 10 years. It still sucks. Charging $1900 to live within walking distance of one of the worst Safeways in the city is almost criminal.

You don’t have to be PoP to obsess about homes that are not yours. This is one of the city’s great pastimes: walking its blocks and gawking at its homes. We are all rubberneckers for a great built-in library, interesting stained-glass, a well-manicured yard, a big, well-lit living space.

Then there are the mystery buildings–the places that either look like rundown embassies or the once-grand quarters of some senator or freaky cult. I’ve spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out the large Grey Gardens-style joint at 1720 16th Street NW.

The building has 15 bedrooms, 9.5 bathrooms, and covers 6,700 Sq. ft. And a big-ass horror-classic gate. Inside, there must be a candelabra or two, a player piano, some Anne Rice books, and of course, Magick.

I could be wrong about the Magick. The building rarely appears occupied. On only one occasion did I find people hanging out on its stoop. I took this as my big chance to find out what goes on inside.

I carefully walked past the gate. I asked as politely as I could a variation on “What the hell is up with your building?”

Unfortunately, the kids decided to be snotty about it and refused to tell me. Now the building is for sale. List price: $7.5 million.

Photo: The interior of the Bryan School, courtesy Lance Horsley

If you look carefully, you’ll notice a peculiar trend in D.C.: there are school buildings everywhere. Some are still operating in their original mode, while others now serve different functions. Take, for example, Joshua R. Giddings Elementary School—or as people call it these days “Results: The Gym” at 315 G St, Southeast. Or Franklin Pierce Elementary School, which is now an apartment building and occasional event venue.

Both sites are featured in “Capitol Hill Converted,” a new coffee table book by first-time author Kristen A. Dennis, a neighborhood resident. Dennis became interested in the transformation of various old educational facilities when she began looking for a public school for her young daughter. She couldn’t afford the private school options, and the area’s charter and public schools were either inaccessible or not up to her standards. Dennis ended up sending her daughter to Thomson Elementary at 1200 L Street, Northwest. But, over the course of her search, she became interested in the abundance of old converted DCPS buildings scattered throughout her neighborhood. (More pictures below.) Read the rest of this entry »

Sources tell LL that more than a dozen people were laid off last week from the Washington offices of MacFarlane Partners, the development company owned by San Francisco real-estate magnate Victor MacFarlane. MacFarlane also owns the D.C. United soccer squad and has been pushing a soccer stadium at Poplar Point in Anacostia since buying the team in early 2007.

The most telling casualty is Linda Mercado Greene, the former top aide to Ward 8 Councilmember Marion Barry who became MacFarlane’s VP for public affairs and community relations in the summer of 2006. Greene was a crucial connection in securing Barry’s support for the Poplar Point soccer stadium and convincing other leaders in Ward 8 to follow.

According to LL’s sources, the only executive remaining in D.C. for MacFarlane will be Dana Bryson, once a top aide to former city administrator Robert Bobb.

The downsizing comes at a crucial time, with three crucial elected officials—Mayor Adrian M. Fenty, Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray, and finance committee chair Jack Evans—all reticent to support the $225 million in public financing that MacFarlane has reportedly been seeking. Only Barry has been pushing hard to get a deal done, and with Greene out, it’s likely that will no longer be the case.

Meanwhile, investors and politicos in Maryland have been attempting to lure MacFarlane out of the District to sites in Howard and Prince George’s Counties.

It is unclear whether the layoffs were immediate; Greene’s assistant answered the phone at the company’s regional office on Connecticut Avenue this morning. Greene and other MacFarlane representatives have not returned repeated phone calls for comment.

UPDATE, 4:20 P.M.: MacFarlane spokesperson Julie Chase says Greene hasn’t been laid off, but rather that “her role has been moved.” The move in general, Chase says, isn’t a downsizing, but a “restructuring.” More to come.

UPDATE, 7:53 P.M.: The positions being cut, 14 of them, were not in the D.C. office only, Chase says, but also included the New York and San Francisco offices. As for Greene, she says, MacFarlane “no longer has a need for the role that Linda Greene was filling in D.C.,” which included responsibility for securing support for the soccer stadium. But Chase says that Greene has been offered a position with D.C. United itself “that would allow her to continue to focus on the team’s stadium in DC and Prince George’s County.”

This afternoon, I was again stuck in the rain. At least this time, I could take refuge in my car before most of the big drops fell. But jeez, not 30 seconds into riding back to WCP from Congress Heights (where myself and our resident filmmaker were doing some on-location business for our upcoming neighborhoods issue), I noticed an already downed tree.

Thirty seconds into a thunderstorm and a dead tree.

The tree was a neighborhood tree. It wasn’t part of the National Mall. It had been planted along a row of squat red brick apartments. It had survived the crack epidemic, neglect, and piss-poor area schools. And now because of a quickie thunderstorm it was gone.

That’s pretty weak. I saw more scattered leaves, branches, and tree guts along MLK Ave. And near the on-ramp to 295, the limbs of another tree were blocking the road. Weak.

I thought to myself: “D.C. has some pretty weak-ass trees.” Trees: Please step it up.

First, let me explain this strange, barely discernible image. The blue rectangle: that’s a pool. The green blobs: those are trees. The dark gray parts: asphalt, and the big intersection at the top left side of the picture is the crossing of 18th Street NW and Columbia Road in Adams Morgan.

Now that you have your bearings, let’s discuss that lined structure in the center: a boutique hotel occupying the space currently home to the Washington City Paper and Pacifica radio’s offices.

A hotel deal has been in the works for quite some time now, as we reported last fall. But, this spring, developer Brian Friedman has been making the rounds to various neighborhood associations to talk about his vision. Recently, the local advisory neighborhood commission endorsed the idea of the project, though members oppose the 90-foot height of the building, which would set a new precedent in the area. The Reed-Cooke Neighborhood Association took a similar stance.

“I’m in favor of the preservation of the building and the idea of a hotel. My problem is the bulk of it and the height of it. It would be asking Champlain Street to absorb an awful lot—the traffic, the cabs,” says Denis James, head of the Kalorama Citizens Association, who attended last week’s ANC meeting. James said he knew the height of the building was going to be a hot-button issue for his group, so he told developer Friedman to bring plenty of plans showing the size.

That, apparently, was a no-can-do.

“I met with him for two hours. I pointed out four or five different things. He didn’t bring any of them,” says James.

Of course, City Paper itself will not be affected by these concerns, should the hotel plan be approved. We will be gone—hopefully, in a funky converted warehouse in some part of town that is both Metro-accessible and not terribly conducive to random employee muggings. At least, that is the dream, says our real estate agent Susan Cohn.

Read the rest of this entry »

LL seems to have made a serious mistake.

For months, he has been avidly following the candidates lining up to challenge four-term incumbent Carol Schwartz for the non-Democratic at-large seat. He’s been spending all his time charting the fundraising endeavors of Adam Clampitt, Dee Hunter, and Michael A. Brown. Just last week, he blew up rumors that Marie Johns might enter the race.

But the true threat to Schwartz’ sinecure might be, gasp, a fellow Republican! Patrick Mara, the 33-year-old Columbia Heights resident planning to challenge Schwartz, announced in a press release minutes ago that he’s raised just over $50,000 in two weeks of his campaign, with virtually all of it still on hand.

That’s an absolutely flabbergasting figure, probably enough to fund an effective direct-mail campaign to every Republican voter in town. It also makes him the best-financed non-Dem at-large candidate.

LL took a quick glance at his June 10 finance report. Some things that caught his eye: Maximum donations from Federal City Council chair Terry Golden and wife Kathleen. Thousands and thousands from downtown parking interests, including Doggett Enterprises, Atlantic Parking, and MarcParc. Max donations from donors affiliated with construction outfits like Miller and Long and MC Dean. Max donations from White House communications aide Tucker Eskew and his wife Lisa.

LL is going to go ahead and call this the big-business backlash that Chamber of Commerce types had been promising ever since the Sick and Safe Leave Bill passed earlier this year.

LL’s call to Mara was not immediately returned. There will be massive followup tomorrow!

UPDATE, 8:05 P.M.: OK, how bout massive followup right now:

Mara calls back to say you ain’t seen nothin’ yet: “August is going to be an even more impressive showing,” he promises. Checks from friends and family not sensitive to the publicity demands of a filing deadline failed to get their checks in on time, and Mara plans to throw a major fundraiser later this month at a restaurant TBA.

The Golden donations, he says, came after he started making the business community rounds. Terry Golden, he says, offered advice on his run: “We had a great discussion.”

Besides the fundraiser, Mara, as LL speculated, plans to do a mailing by the end of the month. He also says to look for him in this weekend’s Capital Pride parade.

22 West is a nine floor condo building practically overflowing with luxury amenities at the corner of 22 and M Streets downtown. Images on the building’s website show a wondrous world of sun-drenched wood floors, floor-to-ceiling windows, round and healthy trees built into balconies and a stunning minimalist rooftop pool. The cheapest one-bedroom units go for the mid $800,000s. The most expensive near $4 million. In other words, we’re talking big money here. An attempt at perfect urban living. An investment worth throwing around quite a few dollars.

Unfortunately, even the District’s most deep-pocketed housing tycoons are no match for Exxon. Long before developer EastBanc Inc began constructing its new building, an Exxon station occupied the corner of 22 and M Streets. When it came time to sit down and negotiate the rights for the land, the oil company refused to budge, says EastBanc Executive Vice President Mary Mottershead. For roughly a year, the developers tried to cajole the oil company and station operator to leave. What happened next?

Simply put, this:

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve seen some far-fetched real estate advertisements in my day. But, this one takes the cake. I give you D.C.’s very own “$359900 RARE FIND 3BR/2BA LUXURY CONDO (NE, DC, Trinidad )” and the agent’s remarks on craigslist (with a few blogger annotations in bold).

If you’ve never experienced the thrill of hearing gunshots as you sit down to dinner, then THIS RARE FIND is for you. Oh yes, this 3BR/2BA CONDO, INCL PARKING just in case you ever need to get away! JUST REDUCED $20,000! ONE YEAR CONDO FEE AND ALARM MONITORING–-sort of a necessity–-PAID BY SELLER! Convenient access to public trans, Florida Ave, North Cap St, NY Ave/295. Spacious and comfortable living with over 1400 sf of oversized rooms and XTRA LG BDRMS, providing plenty of space to distance your beds from incoming bullets and/or put up barricades by the windows. Offering a modern lifestyle w/top-of-line gourmet kit, great nat lite, crown molding and much more, A MUST SEE!

For more pictures, see the advertisement…

I can’t imagine two things more essential to a D.C. dweller than a supermarket and a Metro stop. The Kelsey Gardens apartments, located at the intersection of 7th and P Streets, had both of them practically right next door. The Giant is literally across the street, and the Shaw/Howard University stop is just up the block north of Rhode Island Ave. The location is in that gentrification border area where fully renovated, newly painted houses sit side-by-side with mangled fences and crumbling brick facades. The Kelsey Gardens apartments, Section 8 housing, had a reputation for being a big neighborhood drug spot and crime magnet. In January of 2007, a man was murdered in the front stairwell area of the 1512 building. But, the apartments were also the target of a building manager’s manipulative efforts to remove residents, as we wrote about in 2005.

Well, that Kelsey Gardens is no longer. The buildings have been emptied out to make way for a new project. (Last I heard, there were a few lingering residents. But the place was basically vacant.) And just recently, a real estate agent source sent me this link about the proposed replacement:

Read the rest of this entry »

Today, Mayor Fenty announced that the city had finally figured out what to do with the old convention center site: sell it to a giant luxury hotel for out-of-towners.

For a long time, as many readers know, a great debate raged about using the space to build a new central library. This library would essentially replace the historic MLK library. We wrote about the debate in a super cover story [which I can't seem to find] and we ranted about the libary back in the day. Oh how the civic discourse flourished!

Well, not really. While this city desperately needs a new library, hearts and minds shifted towards retail! Yeah! Other cities have used a new library as a cultural hub. Instead, we will be stuck with MLK Memorial Library forever. I’m fine with keeping the hunk of modernism. But it would have been cool to actually get a real up-to-date library.

Of course, the new hotel will have retail on the first floor. And the city gets final say on which chain will get to move in (Ruby Tuesday or Five Guys? Fedex/Kinko’s or CVS?). It would have been a nice move if city officials went with the greater civic good instead of a luxury hotel.

The hotel benefits none of us. (Except for the 10.6 jobs given to District residents).

Fenty was in full hype mode when discussing the project. The Post reported: “It is time we start calling this place what it is, our City Center,” Fenty (D) said in a statement. “CityCenter DC is going to be a true retail and entertainment destination — the heart and soul of our dynamic new downtown.”

Say what you want about Mayor Anthony Williams‘ tenure. But at least he had the guts to propose a new central library. How can the soul of our new downtown be a luxury hotel?

DCist marks the one year anniversary of the fire that gutted much of Eastern Market. Apparently, the renovation project will be finished months and months behind the promised deadline of January 2009. So what’s stalling this project? The blogger notes several important issues and does a good job illuminating them. One biggie: Interest has faded.

Some of this can be attributed to the simple fact that we all just move on to the next big news story: the fight over the school closings, Banita Jacks, a crime spike, Sean Taylor, Nationals Park opening, the Mount Pleasant fire, etc.

But I also think that maybe—just maybe—people don’t really care about Eastern Market. Every other neighborhood seems to have a farmer’s market. And some of them are better–and actually sell local produce from local farmers–than the Cap. Hill mothership. If you can pick out a good cut of lamb or a tasty apple a few blocks from your front stoop, why bother with Eastern Market? Before the fire, Eastern Market was the place you took your parents.

So there are delays. And still, no one has figured out the actual cause of the fire.

Right when you thought the Lincoln Theatre was all cashed out, Mayor Adrian M. Fenty announced earlier today that the District plans to develop two city-owned properties behind the theater and use a portion of the funds generated by the properties to support the theater’s future operations.

Fenty says its his hope that the two properties on the 90,000-square-foot parking lot will bring in enough revenue to help keep the cash-strapped 88-year-old theater afloat.

Early last year, Lincoln officials threatened to shut down the once-popular theater due to lack of finances until the D.C. gov put up a $200,000 grant to keep the doors open. The District also spent another $1.5 million last year for capital improvements that are nearly complete.

Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham and At-Large Councilmember Kwame R. Brown also attended the announcement today outside the theaterss U Street entrance.

“We want to bring the Lincoln Theatre where it should be,” said Graham, who has been on the theater’s board for 10 years.

It was a shame the announcement did not take place in the back parking lot so everyone could see where all the action was taking place. The District is requiring that any development will provide ongoing financial support for the theater and include at least 7,500 square feet of flexible event space. Bids for the site are due by July 18 and construction is scheduled to begin by October of this year.

Opened in 1922, the Lincoln Theatre is known for hosting big-name performers, including Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. Early next month, Maya Angelou is scheduled to celebrate her 80th birthday there. Maybe she can give over her birthday cash to help out?

—Whitney Boyd

D.C. Foodies has a nice little scoop on Murky Coffee, which City Desk has been following like a lost dog. It appears many of Murky’s assets have been bought by a local businessman who plans to open a coffee shop near the Big Chair in Anacostia. A little digging unearths the Big Chair Coffee Business Plan, put together by sole owner Ayehubizu Yimenu, who appears to live in Greenbelt, Md. Left a message for him, but here’s the deal:

• The coffeeshop will open at 2122 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave. SE and plans to serve sandwiches, salads, and pastries. Customer base includes employees across the street at D.C. Lottery and the Taxicab Commission.
• It’ll be open Monday through Friday until 6 p.m., closed Saturday, and open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday, “delivering superior service to a community other coffee shops do not operate in.” Indeed Big Chair Coffee counts as its only competition a carryout deli half a block away.
• Beverage prices will range from $1.64 (12 oz coffee) to $3.92 (20 oz latte). Beans will come from California Coffee Roasters. Cold sandwiches made in-house will go for $5.49, salads run to $6.29.
• There will be indoor and outdoor seating.
• Employees will include two managers and four to eight more workers. Free samples and a marketing blitz are planned for the neighborhood.

Photo by jgoldmania

May you never darken the door of the Columbia Road Safeway again.

This morning, the long-awaited Harris Teeter grocery store opened in Adams Morgan, at the corner of 17th Street and Kalorama Road NW (three blocks from our offices). Mayor Adrian M. Fenty, Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham, developer Douglas Jemal, and Harris Teeter prez Fred Morganthall all showed up to cut the ribbon.

The speechifying was pretty much by the book: Fenty gave some credit to his predecessor, Anthony A. Williams, and talked up the 82 full-time jobs at the store. Graham talked about all the frustrations getting the five-year-plus project done and gave backhanded props to Jemal: “When Doug Jemal buys something, he waits and he waits…until he has just the right purpose—and maybe the right price, because this is America—then he moves forward.”

Jemal, for his part, had some trouble with the store’s name in his brief remarks, referring in his Queens accent to what was either “Harrison Teeter” or “Harris & Teeter.”

Enough of the pomp. Here’s what you need to know: fine looking meat and fish counters, an honest-to-god deli, big well-stocked wine selection, superb beer selection, awesome (though low-ceilinged) dairy, artisan bread counter, best cheese selection north of the P Street Whole Foods, hot bar, antipasto bar, salad bar, “Asian bar,” melon bar, sandwich bar, sushi bar, plus several other bars I’m sure.

And then there’s the produce. The produce! No more Safeway-style wilted and decaying greenery:

According to the grocery chain’s communications director, Jennifer Panetta, the 37,000-square-foot store—located in the “Citadel,” a former skating rink owned by Jemal since the mid-1990s—is smaller than the typical 48,000-square-foot HT, but packs in more than the usual amount of merchandise. That’s accomplished, she says, through higher racks, deeper shelving, better use of wall space, and “just putting on a creative hand.”

Fenty appeared to leave without making a purchase, but Graham shelled out $28 for a pastel-frosted yellow cake. “Isn’t it about the most sinful-looking thing?” he inquired of bystanders.

Will be returning shortly for lunch. Will report back.