In a craigslist ad posted today, there’s a listing for a 400 sq.ft. efficiency for $1250. That’s a tough sell. There’s not a lot you can do in that tiny space: push-ups, drinking a six-pack, watching “Law & Order” on a medium-sized TV, make eggs, read a book—maybe not Infinite Jest—in an Ikea chair, use a cellphone.

But the small space does include a Murphy Bed:

What an old-school space saver! But I’ll pass. I know I will never put the bed in the upright position.

If you thought Dupont Circle might lose one of its 50 Starbucks locations, you were wrong. If you thought Starbucks will not remain a building block in every neighborhood next to the FedEx/Kinko’s and CVS, you were wrong.

Of the 600 stores that will serve its last Strawberries & Creme Frappuccino, only one Starbucks will lose its District address: 2101 L Street NW.

In a surprise note, Starbucks is pulling out of a College Park address. I guess college kids have grown tired of burnt coffee.

[Read what an ex-Starbucks employee-turned CP writer thought of working there].

Msnbc.com posted an article today about New York City’s new legislation requiring city restaurants to post calorie counts in the same size and font as the food price.

New Yorkers have been in the throes of sticker shock since this spring when the Big Apple became the first city in the country to implement a law forcing chain restaurants to post the calorie count of each food in the same size and font as the price. … Many New Yorkers are finding that even the foods they thought were lower calorie really aren’t. … Outside the Forest Hills’ Dunkin’ Donuts, Juan Restrepo, the 45-year-old owner of a construction company, said he was quitting corn muffins — 510 calories! — this time for good. … Vicki Freedman, who lives in Manhattan, watches her weight and always tries to choose a light option when eating out. But the 26 year old just discovered that the Friday’s pecan-crusted chicken salad, served with mandarin oranges, dried cranberries and celery, has 1,360 calories.

I think this law is brilliant. Those three- or even four-digit numbers displayed next to innocent-looking cookies, frappaccinos, and even salads will surely bring accountability back to eating. Those who dread stepping on the scale may be most daunted by the new law, but I think it’ll do us good. This law may be a catalyst for restaurants to choose healthier ways of preparing dishes.

It might make some people upset to have their meals “ruined,” but that frustration would be short-lived. Eating healthy and giving up the fettuccine alfredo can be a drag, but it’s like exercise: you don’t want to do it, but you feel pretty good later for doing it.

The article mentions similar laws being implemented in Seattle, Santa Clara and San Francisco by the end of the year, which is absolutely fantastic. I think DC should follow suit. Plus, if we already had a law like that here, I probably wouldn’t have eaten (and now feel so sick from gorging on) a burger and milkshake for lunch.

Tired of accessing the Internet through the Internet? Head to calltheinternet.org to, well, call the Internet. On the telephone. Remember those? The Website for calling the Internet lists only a local number—(202) 470-6789—a status—”live” or “offline”—and this description:

Thank you for expressing an interest in placing a phone call to the Internet. The Internet’s phone line is always accepting calls, unless we are assisting other Internet users, or are out of the office. Check the bottom of each page to find out the status of the Internet’s phoneline. Live means we’re in the office and taking calls, if the line is busy, try again later. Offline means we’re out of the office.

I recently placed a phone call to the Internet. Excerpts from the transcript after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Washington Nationals are withholding stadium rent from the city because, they say, the stadium isn’t finished. Well! I’ve been to a couple games, and I see a fully-functioning stadium. And it costs $11.50 for a beer and a bag of peanuts!

Fellow D.C. taxpayers, listen to my plan: So long as the Nationals withhold money from the city, I’m going to withhold money from the Nationals. The stadium allows outside food. So next time I’m offered a free ticket (which happens weirdly often), I’m going to smuggle all the beer I need by hiding it in a bag along with peanuts and other legitimate items. I predict that this will have no effect whatsoever on the franchise’s deadbeat doings, but I will enjoy myself righteously. Join me!

I’ve heard of all sorts of real estate blogs. Oh yes, there are blogs about Northern Virginia real estate, MoCo real estate, the real estate bubble. Housing blogs galore. But, an empty properties blog? Now, until this week, I had not heard about that. In my many months writing our weekly Buyers Market feature, I’ve talked to countless real estate agents. This week, one mentioned DC Vacant Properties to me. Given the context of our conversation, I can understand why this would pop into her brain.

This week’s property is a classic Petworth rowhouse. We’ve written about more than one of those. The concept of the feature—to, each week, focus on a new home that has undergone a significant price reduction from its original listing price—requires me to search out the sales that haven’t been too successful. But frankly, I’ve always wondered why the Petworth home prices plummeted to such lows. I mean the neighborhood has a Metro. It seems next in line to receive some attention and redevelopment (although we didn’t call it “Notyetworth” for nothing!) And even if it doesn’t get a surge of new businesses in the next couple of years, Columbia Heights is right next door, and that Target isn’t going anywhere.

So, what’s the deal? Read the rest of this entry »

I live in a very affordable and convenient apartment building in Arlington. My friends give me shit about living in the suburbs and I tell them to shut up: my building is just as economically and racially diverse as most of the blocks my friends live on in D.C., and there’s pho within walking distance. Anyway, now I have another element of street cred: my building is falling apart. Well, at least the elevator is. The single car, which I rely on to reach my 8th floor apartment, breaks down several times a week. Sometimes the repairs happen in an  hour, sometimes it takes a day. Occasionally, I’ve had to use the stairs for several days. I called the local inspection office and they told me I had no recourse: so long as the management company fixes the problem, I have no standing to file a complaint. Can this be right?

(photograph by Pilar Vergara)

Hang on to your mats, gentrifiers. The much-anticipated revival at the former Church of the Rapture at 14th and T is getting closer and, this time, won’t involve the laying-on of hands…unless that’s some new yoga move? Boundless Yoga is moving into 1840 14th St. NW, where it will share third-floor space with City Dance; the second floor will be a comedy dinner theater; and the ground floor is planned as a Diner/Tryst hybrid.

At least that’s the plan. Constantine Stavropoulos and Co. have to get by Dupont Circle’s ANC 2B first. Stavropoulos, owner of The Diner and Tryst in Adams Morgan and Open City in Woodley Park, is giving a presentation about plans at Wednesday’s meeting at the JCC, 16th and Q, around 8 p.m. Things could get sticky, we’ve heard.

The large space across from Café Saint Ex has been basically vacant since the church moved out a few years ago. We wrote about dashed condo dreams there at the cusp of the bust and, more recently, about artists kicked out because of the open elevator shaft.

That shaft will remain a defining feature of the building, which used to be a Model T assembly plant in the 1920s. (According to Stavropoulos, bumpers and lights were installed on the third floor, they’d paint cars on the second, and showcase them on the first, moving the parts with the giant elevator.)

The restaurateur and AU grad says unlike Open City (which is more Diner than Tryst), the new place will be a true blending of the coffeehouse/lounge/makeshift office that is Tryst and the 24-hour eggs-shakes-and-alcohol that is The Diner. They’ll be separate-but-not, he says, so Diner people can still be Diner people here and Tryst people can still grab a couch, but there will be opportunity for Diner/Trysts meet-cutes and whatnot. There’ll be a full bar, too, along with outdoor seating, pending liquor board and ANC approval.

So far, neighbors seem stoked, according to Stavropoulos. “Every single person I met, and I was out there all day Saturday, in some cases chasing after people as they were walking out of their homes, said ‘It’s about time,’” Stavropoulos says. One dropped what she was carrying “and hugged me.” The owners of the respective businesses are working as a team and using the same contractor, although they may open at different times. Stavropoulos says he hopes to open his yet-unnamed venture in March or April of next year.

It’s a bit of a gamble for Stavropoulos and not exactly cheap—it’ll probably cost him $2 million or more by the end. “The landlord is putting up some allowances, but it is going to be quite a bit of an investment. I’m leveraging everything, the businesses, the house, the dog, the cat, everything… but we’re excited. We’re hoping this will have a positive impact on the neighborhood.”

The presidential candidates have spent plenty of time introducing and debating their economic polices. For a short-term boost, they should look no further than their own names for help. They are being used to sell products that have nothing to do with the campaigns. And I suspect, in most cases, the gimmicks work quite well.

For the past few days, Medaterra in Woodley Park has been serving the Obama Rama Martini and the Sugar McCain, and advertising the drinks on a sidewalk sign. Both are on the normal menu. The Obama drink is a Banana Rum Martini, with banana liquor, vodka, and cranberry juice, and the McCain drink is fresh lemonade, Stoli and Cointreau.

I called up Medaterra to see how the drinks were selling. In short: good. Martini sales are up overall, estimates waitress Andrea Tehan. “Everyone keeps asking who’s winning,” she says, adding that staff have been monitoring the drinks sales and have noted that the Obama Rama Martini has outsold its Republican counterpart by a 4-1 ratio, despite the McCain drink being more popular under its normal name. Which is to say this entire thing is pretty dumb, and pretty smart from a business perspective.

This got me thinking. Who else has recently jumped on the campaign commerce bandwagon? Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Landlord Dude:

I saw your ad in the Post and called you yesterday afternoon. The apartment you were offering sounded good enough: 1700 block of Corcoran, $1900, one-bedroom described either as “sunny” or “cozy” or “featuring hardwood floors.”

I thought: I just can’t swing that kind of rent. Not even sharing that kind of rent. No way. Not unless I want stomach aches and no fun for the rest of my life (or at least through the terms of a one-year lease). But screw it. You told me to meet your guy at 5 p.m.

When your guy called my cellphone at 4:30 p.m. to ask where I was, I explained the 5 p.m. meeting time. I was “sunny” on the phone. I told your guy I could change our meet-up time to 4:40 p.m. I showed you—or your guy—that I could be whimsical, flexible, and carefree. I showed that if say the A/C didn’t work I could play along, adjust my schedule to fit your schedule. That’s just the kind of person I am: “sunny.”

But anyway. Thanks for wasting my time. Your ad said nothing about the rundown closet, the stove that looked like it had last given heat to a crack pellet, and the hardwood floors being just the right shade of beat up. Nor did your ad promote the view from the small living room: a Supercan.

I wouldn’t normally care. But you kind of ruined my afternoon. We renters take your ads as truth. They swiftly become the start up points for little dreams. Not big dreams of flat-screen televisions and warm glasses of cocoa. But simpler stuff like being able to live reasonable and sort-of content. We think of all the good times we’d have with your hardwood floors and central AC. So when we show up to find our dreams replaced with the outlines of a slum, we can only be disappointed. Deeply disappointed.

I ended up leaving your rental after about 10 seconds inside. I didn’t need to inspect the small closet to realize I ain’t ready for a $1900 un-sunny junior one-bedroom with view of Supercan.

Walking away, I filled 17th Street with whispered curse words about fairness and the impossibility of living here. Talk about crushed dreams. Two years ago, an ambitious resident could find a two-bedroom dump for $1900.

Not any more. Now there are only over-priced one-bedroom dumps.

Sincerely,

Jason Cherkis

P.S. 17th Street NW hasn’t changed in at least 10 years. It still sucks. Charging $1900 to live within walking distance of one of the worst Safeways in the city is almost criminal.

You don’t have to be PoP to obsess about homes that are not yours. This is one of the city’s great pastimes: walking its blocks and gawking at its homes. We are all rubberneckers for a great built-in library, interesting stained-glass, a well-manicured yard, a big, well-lit living space.

Then there are the mystery buildings–the places that either look like rundown embassies or the once-grand quarters of some senator or freaky cult. I’ve spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out the large Grey Gardens-style joint at 1720 16th Street NW.

The building has 15 bedrooms, 9.5 bathrooms, and covers 6,700 Sq. ft. And a big-ass horror-classic gate. Inside, there must be a candelabra or two, a player piano, some Anne Rice books, and of course, Magick.

I could be wrong about the Magick. The building rarely appears occupied. On only one occasion did I find people hanging out on its stoop. I took this as my big chance to find out what goes on inside.

I carefully walked past the gate. I asked as politely as I could a variation on “What the hell is up with your building?”

Unfortunately, the kids decided to be snotty about it and refused to tell me. Now the building is for sale. List price: $7.5 million.

For this week’s S&T, I spoke to Bill Duggan, owner of Adams Morgan anagram bar Madam’s Organ. Since 2000, Duggan’s been sparring with the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration over the issue of occupancy in his bar: ABRA said he was limited to 99 patrons, the number of seats on his restaurant license’s certificate of occupancy; Duggan contested that he could pack up to 393 patrons in, his fire marshall approved capacity. Earlier this month, the D.C. Court of Appeals ruled in Duggan’s favor.

This isn’t the first time that Duggan has dealt with issues of occupancy. For the past decade, Duggan and Madam’s Organ have organized a beach trip for area kids to Dewey Beach, Delaware. Each year, Duggan takes 20 to 40 District kiddies, along with 10 to 15 adult volunteers, for a weekend of bonfiring, crab-hunting, and beach-housing.

Dewey Beach didn’t always like that. “The second year of the trip, I was arrested for disorderly conduct,” says Duggan. “I made sure to tell the local [authorities] that the kids were coming, and they said it would be fine. They said ‘Hey, this is 1999, not 1969.’”

But Duggan says the beach cops were ready and waiting to kill the party. “Sure enough, there they were, hiding in the bushes, waiting for us,” he says. “They didn’t like having a bunch of black kids on the beach … The beach cop, he was like the leader of the Aryan nation: starched shirt, blonde hair, white eyebrows. He kicked us off the beach.”

That’s where Duggan’s pint-sized occupancy issue comes in: “Technically, the permit said only 25 kids at the bonfire at one time. And we had 35. But they were coming and going! Some were playing on the beach, others were at the house; they weren’t all at the bonfire at one time.”

But unlike the D.C. Court of Appeals, the beach cops didn’t buy Duggan’s maneuvering. “They put me in the paddywaggon,” says Duggan. “I said, ‘Fine, but the kids are coming with me.’”

After a brief lock-up and some negotiation, Duggan was released to continue spearheading the kiddie beach adventure. According to Duggan, the experience didn’t put a damper on the kids’ summer trip. “Oh, they loved it,” he says. “They kept shouting, ‘Mr. Duggan! You got locked up!’”

Photo by Charles Steck

Local artist Adrian Parsons has revealed himself as one of the stars of ANC Commissioner Frank Winstead’s now-infamous clandestine ping pong youtube video, shot outside of Comet Ping Pong. Parsons says he recognized himself and opponent Karl Southgate immediately when he saw this video of the sidewalk match-up, posted last summer on DCist:

“At first i wasn’t really thinking it was all that harmful,” Parsons says of the video. “I thought it was sort of playful, that it was Winstead’s opinion and of no legal consequence. But when it started to look like the video might be a problem for Comet, I thought, ‘Well. That sucks.’”

Adds Parsons, “I was concerned that my face was on this advert that might serve to hurt James [Alefantis, Comet owner]. It was not something that Karl or I were interested in being involved in.”

Read the rest of this entry »

On Tuesday, downtown D.C. nightclub Platinum surrendererd its Alcoholic Beverage Control license in a hearing in front of the ABC Board. Platinum, located at 915 F Street NW, is owned by Abdul Khanu, who also owns Southwest Waterfront club H20 Restaurant & Lounge. The decision has also put a chill on Khanu’s proposed third nightclub, The Big Chill.

According to a memo from Sgt. Joseph Massey of MPD’s 1st District, which covers the neighborhoods of both Platinum and H20:

At the end of hearing, Platinum surrendered their ABC license and officially closed for good. The ABRA board decided that Mr. Abdul Khanu can hold only one ABC license in the District of Columbia (currently H20). This action places a hold on the new establishment which Mr. Kahnu was attempting to open in the 5th District (The Big Chill).

Photo: The interior of the Bryan School, courtesy Lance Horsley

If you look carefully, you’ll notice a peculiar trend in D.C.: there are school buildings everywhere. Some are still operating in their original mode, while others now serve different functions. Take, for example, Joshua R. Giddings Elementary School—or as people call it these days “Results: The Gym” at 315 G St, Southeast. Or Franklin Pierce Elementary School, which is now an apartment building and occasional event venue.

Both sites are featured in “Capitol Hill Converted,” a new coffee table book by first-time author Kristen A. Dennis, a neighborhood resident. Dennis became interested in the transformation of various old educational facilities when she began looking for a public school for her young daughter. She couldn’t afford the private school options, and the area’s charter and public schools were either inaccessible or not up to her standards. Dennis ended up sending her daughter to Thomson Elementary at 1200 L Street, Northwest. But, over the course of her search, she became interested in the abundance of old converted DCPS buildings scattered throughout her neighborhood. (More pictures below.) Read the rest of this entry »