A friendly LL reminder to you prospective District voters: Today is the deadline to register to vote in the Sept. 9 local primaries.

So go REGISTER NOW to have your vote counted in races for at-large councilmember, councilmembers in Wards 2, 4, 7, and 8, shadow representative and senator, and local party leadership slots.

And, if you do it online, you get to enjoy the Board of Elections and Ethics’ sweet new Web site!

For those still waiting for a final pronouncement on the cause of the Eastern Market fire of April 30, 2007, be prepared to wait a little longer…maybe forever. As the City Paper reported in December (Cover Story, “Was This Really an Accident?”), various D.C. Fire & EMS personnel believe (and a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives report insinuates) that the three-alarm fire started on the outside of the building—a synopsis that contradicts the publicly stated opinions of District Fire Chief Dennis L. Rubin, who believes the inferno was caused by an electrical problem.

Eight months later, things are still muddled.

In the most recent issue of the Hill Rag, Rubin appears to be hanging tough with his original conclusion. Referring to a “final report” on the market fire, he explains that the blaze  “was determined to be electrical in nature with four or five suspected sources, but accidental in nature.”

But the report Rubin is referring to, authored by D.C. Fire employee and certified fire investigator Sgt. Phillip C. Proctor, doesn’t corroborate Rubin’s outlook. With 10 pages of painstaking detail followed by a one-paragraph conclusion, Proctor’s report is, at the very least, noncommittal. “Based on a systematic fire scene examination,” it surmises, “witness statements, and all the available information to date, it is the opinion of the undersigned that the origin of the area of this fire is near the west wall (Side C) of the structure. The exact point of origin has not been identified at this time. The cause of this fire has not been determined and is currently still under investigation.”

Not exactly the wrap-up a “final report” would merit.

The most damning blow to Rubin’s electrical-accident hypothesis, however, isn’t found in the ambiguity of the report’s conclusion, but in a bit of juicy info appearing on Page 8, where Proctor mimics—verbatim-0z–a bullet found in the ATF report on the fire:

All evidence of electrical activity found during this investigation was a victim of the fire and not its cause.

Fire department public information officer Alan Etter says in an e-mail he doesn’t think Chief Rubin’s statements and Proctor’s report are at odds.

“I think while the cause of the fire has not been definitively determined, anyone who’s looked at [the report] thinks it was caused by malfunctioning electrical equipment,” he writes. He adds that Chief Rubin was just “saying what everyone who’s looked at [the report] is sure of.”

—Rend Smith

(Photograph by Arthur Delaney)

In April, lawyers for both sides of WAKA LLC v. DC Kickball filed
paperwork with the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia asking for the case to be dismissed.

The motion was granted.

And so ends the Greatest Kickball Lawsuit of All Time™.

The federal case was originally filed in February 2006 and involved the folks responsible for turning DC into the adult kickball epicenter.

WAKA, also known as the World Adult Kickball Association, alleged that Carter Rabasa, founder of DC Kickball, had violated copyright laws because his league used the same kickball rules as WAKA.

Those are also pretty much the same rules used by third graders everywhere. No third graders were named as defendants.

The complaint also alleged that Rabasa, a former WAKA volunteer, defamed WAKA by calling the group “the Microsoft of kickball” in a 2005 City Paper story.

Rabasa countersued, alleging in his filings that WAKA used monopolistic tactics on the way to becoming, um, the Microsoft of Kickball™.

No terms of the settlement are included in the court filings.

However, the DC Kickball website holds clues that Rabasa, who lacked the deep pockets of the, um, Microsoft of Kickball™, hit his knees.

First, there’s a disclaimer from Rabasa saying that no “defamatory and/or disparaging remarks regarding WAKA” will be allowed on the DC Kickball site.

Then there’s this syntax-challenged announcement labeled as “Apology to WAKA“: “Carter Rabasa, DCKickball and DCK Sports LLC regret and retract the defamatory and/or disparaging statements made regarding WAKA Kickball. Those statement were in error.”

(“Those statement,” huh? Is that a typo, or some sort of juvenile,
kickball-age appropriate “I had my fingers crossed when I said I’m
sorry!” trick?)

Even with Rabasa’s apparent fold, it’s hard to declare any winner here.

But the losers are legion: Anybody hoping that this case would reach a trial stage, so grownups would argue in a public courtroom over kickball—or Kickball™—is diminished by its early denouement.

For this week’s cover story, I decided to check out the personal homes of a few of the city’s so-called slumlords. Some of them were typical fat cats: dudes with mansions in Potomac who made their fortunes renting run-down apartments in the city.

One guy turned out not to be a slumlord at all—he has a nice house in Cap Hill and some pretty nice affordable housing in Southeast. What surprised me was the number of alleged slumlords who live in pretty crummy cribs. Lots of peeling paint and chintzy furniture. The star of my adventure was Rufus Stancil, who lives in a big, beautiful house on upper 16th. It really needs a new coat of paint. Most of the landlords I talked to were open and tried to make a case for themselves. Stancil wanted me out. Here’s a photo I shot of him after he shoved his arm in my face:

Also: a bit of opining that didn’t end up in the story: Many of the tenant advocates I spoke with were worried that the city’s recent lawsuit against several landlords had been hastily thrown together, that it was more political posturing than dedication to fixing a problem. I did find two serious mistakes in the suit: the city is suing two dead people. They say they’re going to fix that.

The on-going battle over vending operations around Nationals Park took a step toward a resolution this afternoon. A D.C. Superior Court judge ruled against three vendors seeking to halt the Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs‘ current practice of assigning vendors to sites outside the stadium via a lottery.

Judge Brook Hedge denied the vendors’ motion for a preliminary injunction against DCRA.

The vendors had serious gripes against the city agency for a number of reasons–some of which were sketched out in the motion, some were not. The city took too long in formulating a system for assigning vendor sites at Nationals Park, they say. After emergency legislation was passed for some 40 possible locations, DCRA awarded only 28 locations–and all the locations were north of M Street. Most of the sites would be lucky to get a handful of Nats fans let alone make any real profit. You can see the 28 locations with this handy map.

Another 14 sites had been awarded in a lottery last week. Those sites were closer to Nationals Park. Another lottery is scheduled for today.

Update 5:19 p.m.: The vendors had argued before the court that DCRA should not have held the lottery–that the D.C. Police Department should be in charge. There also needed to be more back-and-forth over the lottery process itself.

Judge Hedge wrote in her opinion: “Plaintiffs’ claims rest on shaky ground. Contrary to plaintiffs’ arguments, on April 23, 2008, the Mayor did issue a delegation of authority for the vending site and vending selections at Nationals Park to the Director of the DCRA…The proposed regulations do not require that non-R.F.K. Stadium-vendor-applicants be licensed prior to entry into the lottery.” The Judge went on to write that the vendors weren’t losing that much money since working the Nationals Park was only a part-time job. And that the vendors’ gripes were minor.

Judge Hedge wrote: “It is evident from the legislative history discussed above that this was a fast-moving situation and that, in order to maintain peace and tranquility, given the prior events which led to the vendor moratorium, and that the City Council expected vendor sites to be allocated for the full baseball season, that emergency regulations were necessary…”

The city plans to spend over $2 million on a vacant lot in Shaw to move forward on rehabbing the historic Howard Theater.

The parcel, behind the theater at 1830 Wiltberger Place NW, is assessed at about $1.25 million. Under the contract submitted for council approval, the city proposes paying $2,012,500 for the lot. That’s a premium of 60 percent.

The land is needed, according to city documents, to construct “back-of-the-house facilities” and loading areas for the theater, to which the city has committed up to $15 million in grants and tax breaks. Now anyone with a modicum of real-estate knowledge knows that assessed valuations are always well underneath market values, but a 60 percent premium is noteworthy—especially in the current real-estate market.

The lot’s owner, Himat A. Gulajan of Centreville, was not available for comment; a person answering his phone said he’s out of town until Monday.

Sean Madigan, a spokesperson for Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development Neil Albert, says the price is tied to an appraisal that puts the value of the land at $1.75 million. As for the 14 percent extra the city is paying, Madigan says it “isn’t uncommon to pay a premium in circumstances like this,” where a parcel is needed for a larger project.

LL is going to take the departure of D.C. Department of Transportation Director Emeka Moneme as an opportunity to mention a problem that he knows is being solved by Moneme’s old agency in a thoughtful and thorough manner but has been such a longstanding menace to LL’s quality of life that he feel compelled to rant about it to no particular end.

Seriously, what the hell is up with Columbus Circle?

OK, DDOT, LL knows that you’re aware of the problems and you’ve done a painstaking redesign, but let me tell you: As he rides his bike across the cracked and bus-deformed asphalt in front of Union Station, almost popping his tire there for the 900th time in his life, He had to wonder: What in AASHTO is taking so long?

The thing isn’t just a menace to cyclists (which it has been for years). When LL drives through there at night, he can never tell if he’s in the proper lane, seeing as (a) the lane markings are severely worn and (b) the lighting is piss-poor. Seriously, coming off Mass Ave from the west after dusk, it’s suddenly like you’re on a desolate stretch of rural interstate highway at 3 a.m. (That probably has something with special lighting regs for the federal core, but Jesus, it’s dark!)

A WTOP article from last summer suggested this whole thing could be done by 2009. DDOT spokesperson Karyn LeBlanc says design work on the plan—which isn’t just about repaving, but re aligning lanes, including “intermodal” features, etc—is now 90 percent complete, and designs will be presented for approval by the federal Commission of Fine Arts and the National Capital Planning Commission in September. Best case scenario, reconstruction starts in January; most likely, LeBlanc says, it won’t kick off till later in spring.

Yarrrgh!

The WaPo’s Lena Sun and David Nakamura are reporting that city transportation director Emeka Moneme is resigning to take Metro’s chief administrative officer post. The scoop is attributed to “sources”; here’s the juicy part:

The Fenty administration was said to be angered by Metro’s grab of Moneme; the news comes with Fenty out of town on vacation this week. But Moneme was said by some government sources to be irked by Fenty’s hands-on managing style…

Fenty spokesperson Dena Iverson confirms the news and says press releases will be forthcoming from the city and Metro around 2 p.m. As far as any Fenty frustration, she says, “There are no hard feelings.”

UPDATE, 1:50 P.M.: Let the replacement speculation begin! According to folks LL has consulted, the likely and safest choice for at least an interim replacement would be Kathleen Penney, the agency’s chief engineer, who has subbed for Moneme at public appearances he couldn’t make. Or will City Administrator Dan Tangherlini pluck someone with director experience at one of the city’s smaller agencies to do one of the highest-profile jobs in city government (and one Tangherlini once held himself). Clark Ray, perhaps?

UPDATE, 2:45 P.M.:The CW was wrong: Frank Seales Jr., DDOT’s general counsel and a generally unknown quantity, has been named interim director.

It’s that time of the election season: When political candidates gang up on each other and try to knock the competition off the ballot.

How does this happen exactly? Well, to get a ballot position, you’re required to collect the signatures of a certain number of registered voters. Anyone can challenge those signatures by claiming they don’t belong to a registered voter, are forged, or that there were irregularities in the collection process. Most of the challengers are typically associated with a rival campaign.

Today, preliminary hearings on petitions for the Sept. 9 primary ballot were held at the Board of Elections and Ethics headquarters at One Judiciary Square. Ward 8 council candidate Sandra “S.S.” Seegars disputed the petitions of no fewer than four of her fellow Barry challengers, and managed to knock off at least one, economic-development consultant Yavocka Young.

The issue with Young’s petitions was that the date of the circulator’s signature was dated prior to the dates of the collected signatures, indicating that the circulator signed off on the completed petition before collecting the signatures—a no-no.

Young says she’ll run instead on the general-election ballot as an “indepedent Democrat.” She picked up new petitions after her primary petitions were ruled invalid.

“It gives me much more time to reach out to the people of Ward 8,” she says. “I’m excited.”

Then there’s Ward 1 resident and state committee candidate Lynn C. French, representing the “Obama’s Ward One Democrats” slate, who is challenging four candidates on the competing Obama4UnityBeatsMcCain slate. Among the challenged candidates: Ian Martinez and Jason Barry, who happen to be actual live Obama staffers! Also noteworthy is that one of the signatures that French is challenging belongs to Cecily E. Collier-Montgomery, director of the Office of Campaign Finance. She forgot to fill in her address, French alleges. The initial word is that French’s challenge will not stand.

The real show, though, is in the shadow senator race. Current Shadow Sen. Michael D. Brown and former Shadow Sen. Florence Pendleton are challenging the petitions submitted by Phil Pannell, the ubiquitous Ward 8 activist who is challenging two-term incumbent Paul Strauss.

Brown, who is not up for re-election until 2012, says the effort is about making sure that Pannell’s signatures are “up to snuff,” and says that the challenge was led by Pendleton.

“Florence wanted to do this, and I wanted to back her up,” he says.

Strauss, both Pendleton and Brown report, had nothing to do with the challenge, though Brown has no trouble admitting he has a horse in the race. “I’d like to see Sen. Strauss re-elected,” he says. “I’m not hiding my loyalties.”

Pendleton, for her part, says her challenge was motivated by not only what she sees as faulty petitions, but her distaste for the candidate who submitted them. “I think Phil Pannell lacks the qualities that are necessary for him to be the senator. He just lacks what I think he should have. But I don’t want to go into it.”

Brown speaks in similarly oblique terms: “This is not something that I enjoy doing, but I think this is an important thing. It really has to do with the personalities involved as much as anything else.”

Allow LL to parse their words: Pannell is enjoying a taste of his own medicine. Two years ago, when Pannell ran for a shadow senate seat, he challenged incumbent Pendleton’s petitions and managed to knock her off the ballot, clearing the way for Brown’s victory.

Pannell says his efforts against Pendleton in no way resemble what she’s doing to him. “The thing about my stuff is that my stuff is very well-based. Mine wasn’t to throw out charges and hope something sticks,” he says.

The initial ruling today held that Pannell has the requisite number of signatures to get on the Democratic ballot, but word is that Pendleton and Brown will press further in a public hearing tomorrow, trying to prove charges of forgery on the part of Pannell’s circulators.

“This is really adversarial,” he says. “They still want to push it. They just want to mess with me.”

ANC Commissioner Robert L. Whiddon wrote in to the MPD-4D Listserv this morning to complain about the problem of “idle cops”:

Every so often I’ll run home, running along Park Place along the reservoir.

I’ve noticed a squad car, officer inside talking on a cell phone, idling at I think Park Place and maybe Monroe on several afternoons between 5:00 and 6:00 p.m. …

With the recent murders in my SMD I’m even more concerned than usual about idle cops. There is much to do to help improve public safety in our community and chatting on a cell phone, in an idling squad car, far from the action, doesn’t seem like it’s very helpful.

Assistant Chief of Police Diane Groomes‘ response:

Sir - I would like to advise you that the car on Park Pl is the PHOTO RADAR car that is stationary and used to enforce the speeding issue on Park Pl - usually they are on Park Pl two times a week and are not on routine patrol..

The “lawns” of the National Mall are notoriously dustbowl-esque.

But for a few glorious months, several acres of grass were looking pretty swell. (They’re easy to find in the photograph above. Hint: look toward the top.) This spring, people were even spotted taking off their shoes and running around.

The reason? SafeLawns.org, a Maine-based nonprofit, was managing two roughly two-acre plots of land, using only organic products; meanwhile, the National Park Service had replanted and cultivated another plot of land.

Then sadly and abruptly, part of SafeLawns’ new lush carpet of green turned to a depressing brown mat. Employees at Safelawns discovered the change in May. The effects were traumatic for, well, some. Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, D.C. Superior Court issued 100 bench warrants to residents who failed to show up for jury duty and had failed to appear before a “show-cause” hearing to explain their absence. It had been years since the court had utilized the bench-warrant tactic. But it provided this result:

Earlier this week, five residents were taken into custody, according to court spokesperson Leah Gurowitz. These five spent some time behind bars. At least some, appeared before a judge—to explain their jury-duty failings—in shackles.

In an e-mail, Gurowitz explained the court’s actions:

“The Superior Court issued bench warrants only for those people who had ignored two court orders: a jury summons and an order to appear at a ’show cause hearing’ to explain their failure to appear for jury service. Our goal is not to arrest people, but to underscore the requirement of obeying court orders and the importance of jury duty. It is not fair to those who do serve jury duty for others to simply ignore it.

“Anyone concerned that they may have a bench warrant issued in their name as a result of ignoring jury duty and show cause notice should call the Jurors Office at 879-4604. Anyone who has recently skipped jury duty should do the same. The Court has made great efforts to make jury service as convenient as possible: you can register and defer on-line, there is a child care center at the courthouse, and there is a quiet room and WiFi for those who want to work while serving jury duty. But for those who shirk their civic duty, there are consequences.”

More than a dozen other residents responded to the bench warrant in some fashion without being arrested. This means there are still plenty more residents with outstanding warrants for their arrest.

I guess I need to say it again. People: Jury Duty Is No Joke.

Update 3:34 p.m.: According to Gurowitz, all five residents who were arrested, appeared before Chief Judge Rufus King III. They appeared before the Chief Judge in shackles. “Those taken into custody ‘involuntarily’ are in ankle shackles until released,” Gurowitz explains. 

OK, it’s really the ANC 2B meeting last night, where Diner/Tryst/Yoga/Comedy fans pulled off the impossible: standing-room-only at an ANC meeting to hear a 15-minute presentation mostly laid out here. The commissioners did not weigh in. There was no time for questions. In other words: Stay tuned.

David Nakamura got a sweet little tip: There’s an abandoned recording of tax scammer Harriette Walters‘ voice still extant on the District voice-mail system. You could (a) call (202) 442-6762 while it remains or (b) listen to it right here:

From the Brookland neighborhood Listserv: Concerned citizen Andrea on Taussig isn’t getting any love from 311. After finding a discarded handbag in an alley, the poster called the non-emergency number to report the missing item. She writes:

I called 311 to report the found bag and got a very strange response. The lady who answered first told me to call the person, since I have their checkbook & license . . . When I told her I couldn’t find a phone number, she told me that I should “pull a CSI” and try to figure out how to get in touch with the owner. She then told me that if I turned in the handbag to the police, she didn’t know what might happen to it.

Note to Andrea: Please make it a CSI: Miami.