Yes, that’s right–you kept putting it off, putting it off, and now you’ve only got three days to get to all those shows you meant to see. Or maybe you never meant to see any shows at all. Maybe you were just lying to yourself. Whatever, here’s a roundup of some recommendations from the Fringe & Purge blog (in addition to the ones I listed here last week). And if you’ve got any of your own, put ‘em in the comments. Because we value everyone’s opinion.

Prototype 373-G
Trey Graham says:
See it if: You’re attracted to frivolity for its own sake — or you’re an sucker for tight ensemble work.
Skip it if: Whimsy makes you queasy, and no quantity of stagecraft will settle your stomach.

Born Normal
Glen Weldon says:
See it if: Your bookshelf leans more Chris Adrian and Kevin Brockmeier than Clive Cussler and Nicholas Sparks.
Skip it if: In your estimation, the complex psycho-social terrain of the Normal-Child-in-Wacky-Family dynamic has already been mapped, and definitively so, by The Munsters.

Slave Narratives Revisited
I say:
See it if: You like stuff that’s good.
Skip it if: You dislike stuff that’s good.

Carnal Node
Brett Abelman says:
See it if: You’ve never seen anything with more risk - and possibility of reward - than a bar band.
Skip it if: You don’t go listen to music live unless you can already sing along to the CD.

Children of Medea
Sheffy Gordon says:
See it if: You love your mother.
Skip it if: You’re a budding female playwright and dramatic solo performer but you can’t handle new competition in town.

Week one of the Capital Fringe Festival has come to a close, and we’ve reviewed 35 shows and counting on the Fringe & Purge blog. There have been some gems, but there has also been some, well, crap. As you head into a weekend packed with more theater than the frickin’ City Dionysia, here’s a smattering of the best and worst Fringe offerings we’ve seen thus far:

FUEGO
7(x1) Samurai
Trey Graham says:
See it if: You grok that, far from being an outdated discipline to sneer at, the rich nonverbal language that is mime informs contemporary entertainments from Broadway’s Lion King to Pixar’s Wall-E.
Skip it if: You’ve got better things to do than be charmed by a witty concept and a first-rate performer.

The Chalk Boy
Glen Weldon says:
See it if: Um… you have a pulse? Look, I got nothing: Just see it, is all.
Skip it if: You were totally on your high school’s Spirit Week Committee, and Crazy Hat Day? Your idea.

MANIFESTO!
I say:
See it if: You’re bored; you’re excited; you’re sad; you’re silly; you’re angry; you’re happy; you’re rich; you’re poor; you’re communist; you’re magical realist; you’re on the verge of death; you’re a newborn; you’re sick; you’re sullen; you’re sullied; you’re Santa Claus….
Skip it if: dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada.

Mothers of Invention
Tabitha Kenlon says:
See it if: You still have nightmares about Olestra.
Skip it if: The stuff George Jetson ate always looked good to you.

Black Jew Dialogues
Sheffy Gordon says:
See it if: You liked Avenue Q but didn’t understand that the “monsters” were people of color… or if you want to learn how to wear a yarmulke on a Fro.
Skip it if: You’ve got something else so important that you can’t take an hour from your busy schedule…I’m not your mother so I can’t tell you what to do, but you’re only hurting yourself (and you’ll be haunted by Jewish guilt for the rest of your life).

After the jump, the stuff you may want to avoid.

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The third annual Capital Fringe Festival opens tonight with a slate of 120 productions over 18 days at 20 venues in theaters, bars, tents and defunct Italian restaurants around town.  City Paper will be covering the chaos on its Fringe & Purge blog, with veteran critics like Trey Graham and Glen Weldon, online producer Ted Scheinman and myself, as well as a phalanx of guest bloggers who will help us report back on the good, the bad, and the ugly of this year’s festival.  

I’m actually at Fort Fringe as I type–formerly known as A.V. Ristorante Italiano–which the festival folks have artfully transformed into their guerilla headquarters, complete with offices in a crumbling bar, a two-tiered tent deemed the Baldacchino in the parking lot, and a permanent black box theater in what used to be a meat-curing pantry.  I will be blogging live from here until the shows begin this evening–so if you want to know if the toilets will be working in time for the opening night party later, you know where to look for updates.

Oh yeah, there’s a party: 9 PM at Fort Fringe, 607 New York Avenue NW.  But really this festival is all about the performances, so turn off your computers, get off your rolling chairs, and go check out a show or two or twenty.  Then visit Fringe & Purge and let everyone know what you thought.  

This past Thursday, to prodigious applause and a minimal throwing of old fruit, the City Paper launched its 2008 Fringe & Purge blog.

Ever since, we’ve been positively inundated with questions, compliments, and offers of a decidedly salacious nature. Rather than responding individually, I’ve decided to offer some answers right here, for all to see.

After the jump:

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Right when you thought the Lincoln Theatre was all cashed out, Mayor Adrian M. Fenty announced earlier today that the District plans to develop two city-owned properties behind the theater and use a portion of the funds generated by the properties to support the theater’s future operations.

Fenty says its his hope that the two properties on the 90,000-square-foot parking lot will bring in enough revenue to help keep the cash-strapped 88-year-old theater afloat.

Early last year, Lincoln officials threatened to shut down the once-popular theater due to lack of finances until the D.C. gov put up a $200,000 grant to keep the doors open. The District also spent another $1.5 million last year for capital improvements that are nearly complete.

Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham and At-Large Councilmember Kwame R. Brown also attended the announcement today outside the theaterss U Street entrance.

“We want to bring the Lincoln Theatre where it should be,” said Graham, who has been on the theater’s board for 10 years.

It was a shame the announcement did not take place in the back parking lot so everyone could see where all the action was taking place. The District is requiring that any development will provide ongoing financial support for the theater and include at least 7,500 square feet of flexible event space. Bids for the site are due by July 18 and construction is scheduled to begin by October of this year.

Opened in 1922, the Lincoln Theatre is known for hosting big-name performers, including Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. Early next month, Maya Angelou is scheduled to celebrate her 80th birthday there. Maybe she can give over her birthday cash to help out?

—Whitney Boyd

Earlier, LL reported the city is planning to give $10 million to Ford’s Theatre—that’s the biggest line item of the $27 million in pork contained in Mayor Adrian M. Fenty’s proposed budget.

Here’s some more answers on the Ford’s money:

• A statement released today by the theater itself says that “District support will help us launch a new Center for Education and Leadership, as well as expand the depth and breadth of our existing educational programs, so District residents of all ages will have an enhanced opportunity to learn about Civil War Washington, Abraham Lincoln and his ongoing legacy.”

  The theater, which is run jointly by the National Park Service and the private Ford’s Theatre Society, is amid a capital campaign that aims to raise $40 million for renovations and expansion.

• On the city side, William Singer, Fenty’s top budget wonk, says the earmark is in keeping with similar projects that the city has funded in the past through earmarks, including Arena Stage and the Corcoran Gallery of Art.

  “In different years there’s different projects that stand out,” he says. “It’s not unusual for the District to support an organization’s large capital request.”

Full statement from Ford’s after jump.

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The feds aren’t the only ones who practice pork-barrel politics: District politicos aren’t so bad at it themselves, thank you very much. Buried in the yearly Budget Support Act are various line items funding nonprofits and other projects. This year, the draft BSA submitted by the mayor [PDF] includes about $27 million earmarked for various causes. Here’s the biggest of them:

• $10 million for Ford’s Theatre
• $2 million for THEARC
• $1.5 million for Southeastern University
• $1 million for the Washington Ballet
• $1 million for the DC Economic Partnership
• $1 million for Peaceoholics
• $1 million for “the Ward 4 BID Demonstration Project and capital improvement grants to businesses on Georgia Avenue or Kennedy Street NW”

LL’s made some calls to inquire about the Ford’s Theatre money. He’ll report back as soon as he gets some more information.

Meanwhile, peruse the full list of earmarks after the jump—including the $50,000 for the High Tea Society!

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In today’s paper you’ll find a chart put together by our theater critics Bob Mondello, Trey Graham, and Glen Weldon (who decided they didn’t want a byline). It’s a guide to the August Wilson’s 20th Century festival at the Kennedy Center, and rather than being a scoresheet with “must-sees,” etc., it features lists of notable D.C. productions of Wilson’s work, alongside plot synopses and quotes from his plays. I’m especially proud of the photos with it, which, even though they print about as big as postage stamps, come from productions past and present and couldn’t have been gathered without the help of Liane Jacobs at Studio Theatre, Kirstin Lunke at Arena Stage, and John Dow at the Kennedy Center.

I’m especially fond of this Joan Marcus photo of John Cothran Jr. and Cynthia Martells in the 1991 Kennedy Center production of Two Trains Running.

They were announced last night. The local theater awards will be presented on April 28.

Performances of the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s “Tamburlaine” have been cancelled through December 23: Lead Avery Brooks has fractured three ribs. “It’s hard for him to breathe or talk right now,” says director Michael Kahn.

It’s not the first bout of bad luck that’s hit Kahn’s mounting of the Marlowe play. Recently, Brooks’ understudy was forced to abandon the production due to a family emergency.

“We’re working on preparing his new understudy,” says Kahn. Under-understudy Bill Christ will be tied up in rehearsal until the theatre can re-asses Brooks’ condition and determine who will go on. “It’s a gargantuan role to learn,” says Kahn.

The theater hopes to make a decision on the remainder of the run by Friday.

I’ve been on a mission lately to fall in love with theater. In theory, this should be easy. I was a literature major for Christ’s sake. But it’s been a tough road. It’s been more of a love/hate kind of relationship. And I think the problem is my low tolerace for all things cheesy. (With the exception of Christmas, of course. I love my giant colored lights.) And if I feel a play gets cheesy or overdramatic, I instantly hate it. And the actors turn back into actors and not their characters. I start wondering what their day jobs are or if they feel silly wearing such ridiculous makeup. But last night, things took a positive turn; I saw Shining City at Studio, and I’m excited to report that this play, or rather one actor, has put me back on the path to love. So thank you, Edward Gero, for your astounding performance. Never once did I wonder where you buy your shoes or try to guess where you grew up or worry whether you get enough sleep. Because you were only John, a widower who was seeing ghosts. I will continue my mission.

Here’s what someone who actually knows what he’s talking about has to say about the play.

Most 9-to-5 office drones know the feeling of being trapped in a mundane existence that is punctuated by daily routines—and the only way to survive is by the blind hope that tomorrow will somehow be better. Of course, being figuratively buried in paperwork hardly compares to the plight of Winnie, the protagonist of Samuel Beckett’s 1961 play, Happy Days—who begins the play, quite literally, half-buried in a pile of earth. Winnie doesn’t question how she got there; she just goes about her ritualistic business of being there and prattling away to whoever will listen—which, in this case, is her inattentive husband, whose terse responses aren’t nearly as important to her as is his simple presence. As time passes, however, so does whatever hope Winnie has of pulling herself out of her sinking situation: By the time Act II rolls around, she’s buried up to her neck—a development that should provide audience members with plenty of material for their next water-cooler chitchat. The performance begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Kennedy Center’s Terrace Theater, 2700 F St. NW; see kennedy-center.org for a complete schedule. $65. (202) 467-4600. —Matthew Borlik

…and all the men and women, merely frivolous consumers. If you’re in the market for miscellany, head over to Arena Stage this Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m, where objects no longer fit for the theater audition to receive an extended run in the cruel theater of our lives. Arena Stage’s discarded costumes, props, and yes, office furniture, could be yours!

Arena Stage is located at 1101 Sixth Street, SW

When Bruce Buono and his wife moved from St. Louis to Alexandria last year, he was excited about D.C.’s theatrical offerings. Going through the Warner Theatre’s Web site, he found a Broadway-based series and paid $570 up front for a pair of season tickets to see the touring productions of shows like The Producers and Sweet Charity.

But Buono and his wife didn’t see a single show. Right before Thanksgiving, the Warner Theatre announced that The Producers, which was supposed to run from Nov. 21 to Nov. 26, had been canceled. At the time, general manager Barrett Newman said ticket holders should contact Ticketmaster for refunds, noting that “the Thanksgiving week proved to be challenging for ticket sales.” In a sympathetic nod to the ticket-holders’ plight, Warner looped some lyrics from The Producers on their telephone line. “Unhappy. Unhappy. Very Unhappy,” the hold message sang.

That was just the beginning. In March, the Washington Post reported that, of the five shows composing the series, none had been produced. Apparently, Baci Management, the Baltimore-based booking agent, had botched the whole program. Worse, ticket holders hadn’t received any refunds. Buono says he has no idea what’s going on with Baci. “I’ve never been ripped off that way…It really soured our mouths.”

As for Baci, it doesn’t look good. The phone line at the company’s Baltimore office has been disconnected. And last week their furniture went up for auction. The trustee listed for Baci by American Auctions & Appraisals Inc., did not return calls for comment.

In his budget for Fiscal 2008, Mayor Adrian Fenty has proposed $250,000 be set aside for the Lincoln Theatre, half of what the theatre requested. The sum would come from the fiscal 2008 budget for the D.C. Commission on Arts and Humanities, the Budget Support Act says.

But according to executive director Janice Hill, without a $500,000 sum from the city, the theater will be forced to abandon its subsidized programs–programs that are either free to the public or are produced by nonprofit organizations. That means no more high school graduations at the theater, no more free dance performances for middle schoolers, and no more annual events commemorating the Holocaust, Hill says. “It’s not good…I’ve asked for the city’s help. They have responded by giving us half of what we asked for.”

In January, the Washington Post reported that the 85-year-old Lincoln Theatre had $1,362 in the bank and might close unless it received an influx of cash fast.

Now, the theater is operating in the red. “We’ve borrowed deep into our credit line,” Hill says. “We are robbing Peter to pay Paul. This does not help us. Like all similar historical institutions, we cannot make it through rentals alone. This does not provide adequate help, nor assist in providing funding to re-tool the theatre to be a primarily, commercial facility.”

In February, the Fenty administration facilitated a grant from the Department of Housing and Community Development, Hill says, to provide cultural enrichment programs for underserved students and seniors, but that money was not earmarked for operational costs and cannot be used for the endangered nonprofit programming.

Meanwhile, the theater’s lease, under the U Street Theatre Foundation, is up in June, Hill says. And while the Office of the Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development has proposed that a developer take over the historic theater, Hill says “that strategy would have to be handled very cautiously.” She worries a developer with commercial interests would have a “tough time responding to the original mission of the theater.”

Cutting the subsidized programs also threatens the theater’s mission, Hill says. These programs are “highly valued” and are part of the theater’s commitment to providing services to the community. For example, she says, 1,200 middle school students attended the Capitol Movement Project dance performance for free March 29. The Lincoln Theatre has also held graduation ceremonies for Cesar Chavez Public Charter School for Public Policy, Booker T. Washington Public Charter School, and Roosevelt High School.

“The new administration…may not be educated or sensitized to the value, the passion, the energy the community feels,” about the theater, Hill says.

The mayor’s budget also proposes $500,000 for the Source Theatre, whose financial woes made headlines last year.

Carrie Brooks, spokesperson for the mayor, says that, in addition to the money included in the budget, the two theaters will be able to compete for additional funding through the city’s competitive grant process.