Your last chance to see George Pelecanos in the D.C. area for—eh, a couple of weeks—is tonight at the Borders Baileys Crossroads, where he’ll be reading from his new novel, The Turnaround. If you’re a “real Washingtonian,” consider studying up.

Roosh V, no longer the blogger known as the DC Bachelor (he’s moved on over to Rooshv.com), finds that since he quit his job as a microbiologist to, among other things, self-publish a book about how to get laid, is still getting laid. It’s just by another type of girl. One who doesn’t care about money and doesn’t hang out at, say, Lima, Park, or Indebleu. A girl Roosh V will, for lack of a better turn of phrase, call a “down-to-earth hippie girl who likes hummus and art.” These girls, according to Roosh V, hang out at, say, Bossa, Marvin, and the Reef. Just FYI.

Also FYI: Roosh V is following his bang-up book Bang (no subtitle by intention so that dudes can read it in coffee shops without everyone knowing they’re losers looking for advice on how to get laid) with another as-yet-untitled book about how to get laid in South America. Roosh V—a 29-year-old U of M grad now living in his dad’s basement in Silver Spring—took an extended trip there upon leaving the soul-sucking existence some call a job. Brazillian “game” will be interspersed with some travel writing, he says.

“Brazillian girls, they’re completely different,” says Roosh V. “They’re warmer. They’re more sensual. They don’t expect you to do anything but show up.”

He’s still deciding if he should self-publish the sequel or try and go for it within the soul-sucking existence some call legitimate publishing. In the meantime, he is chronicling the “14 Problems With Americans in One Picture.” No. 2: Bad Hair—”Men who dip their heads in buckets of pomade wax. Women who don’t let their hair grow out to proper feminine length (small of back).”

(photo courtesy of bangfieldguid.com)

If you haven’t quite finished nerding out on George Pelecanos, you have a couple more options in addition to his readings this week. Today Akashic Books (founded by Johnny Temple, frontman of the onetime D.C. band Girls Against Boys) announced a pair of readings attached to D.C. Noir 2, a collection of classic District-set fiction. Pelecanos edited the book, and he’ll appear at a pair of readings for it. The first is September 9 at Busboys and Poets, where he’ll be joined by Marita Golden and other contributors. The second is September 23 at the Friendship Heights Borders; other guests for that reading haven’t been announced.

Holly Hughes, editor of the much-loved Best Food Writing anthologies, has discovered what we here at City Paper have known for some time: Tim Carman is doing great work when it comes to telling food stories.

We also have to agree with Hughes that Carman’s Young & Hungry column in defense of fat and the processed food he dares to love is among his best. “Fat’s What I’m Talking About,” which ran in the March 28 edition, will appear in Best Food Writing 2008.

Here’s a sample:

Ever since that Crisco cookie, I’ve reconnected with some of the foods, or some of the places, I used to like before I felt the need to squirrel away my pedestrian eating habits. You know what? I still really like the Burrito Supreme at Taco Bell, particularly when the pimply kid pumps the sour cream evenly across the beans, shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, ground beef, and diced tomatoes. I also can’t believe how much I drool over the crumbly biscuits at Popeyes; they’re even tastier after you slather them with strawberry jam squeezed from a packet. And I swear that some days the cracker-crust pizza at Stained Glass Pub in Silver Spring tastes better than any of those boutique pies—especially when you can play Buzztime trivia while eating.

The book, out in the fall, compiles the best writing from newspapers, magazines, and, in recent years, blogs. Past editions have included well-known food writers Ruth Reichl, Jeffrey Steingarten, R.W. Apple, Calvin Trillin, and Todd Kliman (former columnist at City Paper and current dining editor at Washingtonian), among others. We’re delighted that Carman, who has been writing the Y&H column since March 2006, is in their deserving company.

On July 23 Stuff White People Like author Christian Lander discussed his blog and book at Politics & Prose. I confess I’m one of the people who doesn’t get the gag, partly because I’m one of those grumpuses who’s annoyed at how readily he conflates race and class (an act that in itself might expose white privilege—discuss), but mainly because the guy isn’t particularly funny. (Yes, it’s possible to write a funny book about America’s class system.) Anyway, Lander seems like a well-meaning fellow who got caught up in a whirlwind of attention he never meant to generate, on the evidence of footage from his talk, which is now available at Politics & Prose’s Web site. Discussed: gifted children, “raising awareness,” unpaid internships, Moleskine notebooks, etc.

Those not interested in attending Richard Peabody’s Politics & Prose dudefest this evening can head over to the Hillyer Art Space, where they will find a more femme-oriented event. There will be ladies on rollerskates.

Tonight, local lit mag Barrelhouse celebrates the release of its sixth issue with a Rollergirl-power themed party featuring the D.C. Rollergirls, “roller derby artist” (yep) Cory Oberndorfer, and discounts on the new issue of the mag—also roller-derby-themed. Catch local author and Barrelhouse editor Dave Housley at both events—he’ll read first at Peabody’s release, then head over to Hillyer on the late night tip.

Along with its usual offerings of fiction, poetry, and pop-culture musings, the new issue will include the winners of Barrelhouse’s “Roller Derby Invitational” contest, which Housley says provided for a knock-down competition. “The roller derby people are really organized, and they’re online,” says Housley. “We got a lot of submissions. Some were normal stories that happened to be set in the world of roller derby. Some were essays about the difference roller derby had made in their lives. A fair amount of submissions were guys who were just in love with roller derby girls because they can kick their ass.”

If you happen to be one of those guys, you’re in luck: Barrelhouse confirms that the roller derby team will be available for arm wrestling. However, note that the mag’s mention of “roller derby girls with 34-inch pythons” should not be taken literally. “I think it’s pro-wrestling talk,” explains Housley. “There will not be snakes. There will definitely be real girls there, though.”

Photo by mookielove

It sucks to be a guy in D.C., according to Richard Peabody: It’s a place where “nine out of ten men have bite blocks because their jaws are clenched so tight,” he writes in the intro to Stress City, a new collection of short stories by local male writers. Peabody, the editor of the Arlington literary journal Gargoyle, has been working the gender angle for a while: Last year he published his third collection of D.C.-area women writers.

But Stress City isn’t strictly a collection of stories about neurotic guys, let alone neurotic D.C. guys: True, the guy in Alex MacLennan’s “Touching the Pole” has some issues with germs, but he’s doing all that worrying in San Francisco. And one of the collection’s best pieces, Dave Housley’s “Goliath,” imagines the grown-up boy from the how-to-be-a-good-Christian animated show Davey and Goliath getting lectured by the dog for shacking up with an attractive woman:

“Dear Jeeeeesus,” he says. “Daaaavey is lost again. Please help Daaaavey, Jeeeesus. Help him find the light. Like that time we were lost in the old silver mine and I said…”

“You gotta stop this,” I say. “I can’t have this shit going on much longer.”

Peabody and a few contributors to Stress City–Housely and MacLennan along with R. R. Angell, Juan H. Gaddis, Brian Gilmore, Charles R. Larson, Richard McCann, and David Nicholson—read tomorrow night at Politics and Prose.

Just in time to save us from debating a New Yorker cover that left so very many of us so very confused (was Michael Eric Dyson really expounding on the intrinsically unsatirical nature of fist-bumps on the News Hour?) here’s an uncomplicated picture of Barack Obama holding a three-legged puppy dog at the Lincoln Memorial. The picture is on the side of the bus promoting a book by Jana Kohl about puppy mills—Baby, the ridiculously cute dog in the photo, was rescued from such a place—and both Baby and Kohl are in town for the next few days. On Saturday Kohl will be signing books at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City, as part of the Taking Action for Animals conference. No word on whether it’s available as a poster.

Tonight at 6 p.m., Busboys & Poets hosts a reading and discussion of Underground America: Narratives of Undocumented Lives, a collection of interviews with the people who make up the latest wave of immigrants to the United States. Justin Moyer recently reviewed the book for City Paper.

This morning’s Shelf Awareness has a few details from Olsson’s Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing. The local bookstore chain claims $929,428 in assets and $1,951,629 in liabilities. The usual reasons are cited for the downturn, but controller Terence McCann expressed confidence about the future of the business in the filing (hence the Chapter 11 claim, not Chapter 7): rebuilding the chain, he writes, “involves raising working capital, seeking investors, reducing overhead costs, adding new merchandise, refurbishing stores, retaining leases where achievable or relocating to communities that will support the concept of an independent bookstore. We still think that Olsson’s has something to offer and can do business in this market.”

Earlier this month, the Bethesda Writer’s Center welcomed a new director: Charlie Jensen, who most recently served as Assistant Director of Arizona State University’s Virginia G. Piper Center for Creative Writing. The 31-year-old Jensen has taken up residence in Silver Spring after seven years’ exile in the desert.

Jensen takes over for Gregory Robison, who vacated the post last month. Two weeks into the new gig, Jensen says the job is “great” and that Silver Spring is “beautiful.” (Jensen’s writing utilizes some more inventive descriptors).

Jensen is also the founding editor of LOCUSPOINT, an online poetry ‘zine that focuses on a new city’s talent with each issue. Coming up: A District edition, edited by local wordsmith Sandra Beasley.

The Library of Congress has just announced the lineup of authors for the eighth annual National Book Festival, which takes place on the National Mall on Sept. 27. Among the names that leap out: Tiki Barber, Dionne Warwick, Neil Gaiman, Jon Scieszka, R.L. Stine, (former CP-er) Louis Bayard, Geraldine Brooks, Marisa de Los Santos, James McBride, Richard Price, Francine Prose, Salman Rushdie, Alexander McCall Smith, Tony Horwitz, Walter Isaacson, David Maraniss, Cokie Roberts, Bob Schieffer, Daniel Schorr, Paul Theroux, Eleanor Clift, and that cupcake guy. More info at the fest’s Web site.

That book you see up there? Not a children’s book. John-John’s Greatest Gift looks like it might be some guide to coping with a parent’s death through the story of John Kennedy Jr.—hey, stranger kids’ books are out there. But it is, in fact, the creepiest thing ever.

Written by North Potomac resident John B. Arnett Sr., the book speculates about the fate of John F. Kennedy Jr. after he died on July 16, 1999. (To be fair, it also speculates about the fate of his wife, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, but her gift clearly wasn’t good enough to make the cover.) What happens? They enter a magical cloud-filled land populated entirely by Kennedys: “‘It’s Mom!’ I saw, and almost froze. ‘There’s Uncle Bobby, Grandma Rose!’”

Right. It rhymes too.

I’m struggling to figure out who the market for this might be. I suppose there are Kennedy followers not unlike the folks who obsess over British royalty, and those people might be wishing for more drawings of Jackie O with a halo. Perhaps you’re somebody who’s finished collecting every issue of George magazine and needs a little something more. Are you one of those people? Have at it.

Tucked in the end of local poet and Egen Award winner Sandra Beasley’s report from a recent reading is this interesting tidbit: “She will be debuting a column in the Washington Post Sunday Magazine on Sunday, July 13, as part of a new feature called ‘The XX Files.’” Over at C.M. Mayo’s blog, Beasley fills out the story: “In mid-July I will be making a foray into the world of prose writing when my column, “The Art of the Bluff,” appears in the Washington Post Sunday Magazine. This new feature in the magazine, called “The XX Files,” will be comprise short essays written by a rotating set of urban, female writers.”

The Post’s Web site has a chat page for the feature ready to roll.

Willy Vlautin—whose second novel, Northline, I reviewed in City Paper a little while back—reads tonight at Olsson’s in Dupont Circle. He’s joined by British novelist and tipping-fraud investigator Ross Raisin, whose first novel, Out Backward, has just come out stateside. The D.C. angle: George Pelecanos will introduce the reading. (There’s more Pelecanos in the pipeline: His next novel, The Turnaround, has an Aug. 1 publication date, and he’s edited the second volume of D.C. Noir, featuring stories by Edward P. Jones, Marita Golden, Ward Just, and more. It comes out on Akashic Books in September.) —Mark Athitakis