Here's the thing with automatic transmission in America: People get lulled into the notion that driving all cars is pretty much the same. Here's the other thing: In the snow, that notion flies out the window. Cars that have a lot of power and—hey!—ballast shouldn't be the ones fishtailing in and out of snowbanks. This weekend, you saw vehicles with epithets like Highlander, Tundra, Expedition, All-Powerful Yeti, and so on, skidding pell-mell into street signs, other cars, leering snowmen, &c. Which can be funny, but would definitely make for a lame Chevy commercial.

It's amazing what you can do with a manual transmission and a bare minimum of common sense. I don't expect these addled SUV pilots to read a word of what follows, but here's hoping:

Read More "District Driving in the Post-Snowpocalypse: For the Love of God, Please Learn to Helm Your Sport Utility Vehicle!" »

If you said there'd be hell to pay at the Safeway in Adams Morgan, you were right! There isn't a bagel to be found in the place. It's a maelstrom, people—looting and other acts of outrage...rolls of toilet paper flying, kitty litter strewn athwart aisle 7, sausage casings used to garrote innocent children...we'll let the footage speak for itself.

There is no time for pleasantries this morning. There is time only for panic.

If you haven't begun to panic, it is too late. True panic must begin early. Otherwise, it is not true panic. And it doesn't help.

Anyway, listen up, City Desk!

The good folks over at the National Weather Service are also panicked: They have issued a winter storm warning from midnight tonight through 6 a.m. Sunday morning.

 Read More "Morning Roundup: The Panic Edition" »

The District of Columbia is about a month away from having to pay five cents a pop for its plastic bags, and some details are yet to be worked out.

Such as: What about the self-checkout facilities increasingly populating city supermarkets---how are they going to work with the bag fee? After all, there's no human to control the bagging process there. Who's to stop some earth-hating customer from triple bagging his junk and absconding with 45 cents worth of free polyethylene?

Human oversight? Defeats the point of self-checkout. Honor system? Would certainly be dishonored. Complicated technological contraption? That would be complicated.

City Desk phoned the two largest operators of self-checkout facilities in the District---Safeway and Giant. Neither, according to their respective spokespersons, have yet figured out how to implement the bag fee at self-checkouts.

Read More "Unsolved Mystery: How Will Bag Fee Work With Self-Checkout?" »

What the hell, City Desk readers? President Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize! Even though he's done nothing for peace! Brief thoughts on this: Norwegians are much, much more sentimental, European, and borderline-retarded than anyone realizes. Also, Obama won, basically, for not being George W. Bush. How else to explain the fact that he had been in office for a little over a week when he was nominated for the prize, and had yet to officially do nothing to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Incidentally, the Taliban are also disappointed in the Norwegians:

"We have seen no change in his strategy for peace. He has done nothing for peace in Afghanistan," Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid told AFP....

"When Obama was elected president, we were hopeful he would keep his promise to bring change. But he brought no change, he has continued the same old strategy as (President George W.) Bush.

I don't mean to further offend the sycophants on the prize committee, but I have to say, the Taliban kinda sorta have a stake in this. Granted, they are shitty and stupid and regressive. But they're also getting bombed and shot by USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: Prez Obama Further Alters the Nature of Reality" »

Full trailer will debut ahead of Bandslam, opening Friday. Until then, squeal accordingly:

In reporting out our story on Sharon Bowen, a woman linked professionally and personally to Ward 8 Councilmember Marion Barry, it was difficult to figure out what she exactly did for the residents of the District.

Between spring 2007 and spring 2008, Barry had awarded her $50,000 in taxpayer-funded contracts. From our sources, we kept hearing two things: Bowen was a "class act" and Barry's girlfriend. None of our sources could talk with deep knowledge about her actual work. All city records have to show for it are invoices written by Bowen and the Barry-approved personal services contracts.

We are just supposed to know that Bowen worked in the areas of poverty reduction (specifically on organizing a Poverty Summit), working with the Ward 8 Business Council, and to "ensure that the vision of Councilmember Marion Barry is fulfilled."  Does this seem like $50,000 worth of work?

When asked about Bowen's work, Ward 8 Business Council Executive Director James Bunn admitted it wasn't rocket science. He said Bowen essentially went door-to-door to identify Ward 8 businesses. If she made a report on her findings, he didn't see one.

Read More "Councilmember Barry: What Did Sharon Bowen Actually Do?" »

This clip of Brett Erlich and Ellen Fox's "Anyone Else but You" parody is about a month old, but I caught it on Current TV's birthday special and was reminded how spot-on it is.

Especially satisfying after so much failed quirkiness this year:

You know the dog days of summer are upon us when the Washington Post’s television highlights include tonight’s The Yes Men Fix the World, a new HBO documentary about those zany activists/performance artists, who go around impersonating corporate executives.

Their particular form of protest comes from poking fun at serious issues such as world trade rules, corporate greed and the human role in global warming. And, they are so good at it that the suits usually don’t know the joke is on them until it’s way beyond face-saving time.

They’ve pinioned officials at the World Trade Organization, FEMA and Halliburton. In my book, I included their 2007 antics at a Canadian oil convention. Impersonating executives from ExxonMobil and the National Petroleum Council, The Men had a roomful of industry types on their feet and solemnly lighting candles made from what they claimed to be the next big renewable energy source: Vivoleum, a “fossil fuel” supposedly made from the human flesh of people killed in hurricanes, floods and other global warming-related disasters.

Given what's on TV this time of year, there are many worse ways to spend a Monday night. But even before seeing it, I have a complaint for the filmmakers: the title. The Yes Men certainly make it more fun to fret about corporate corruption and lack of political will, but change the world? At best, they call attention to its many dysfunctions.

In 1993, gallery and atelier owner David Adamson became one of the first digital print makers in the world. Since then, he's worked with Robert Frank, Chuck Close, and Annie Leibovitz, among many others. On Friday, July 24, the Adamson Gallery held a private reception for Velvet Underground frontman, photographer, and living legend Lou Reed--the artist behind the gallery's latest exhibition, "Romanticism." Last week, Washington City Paper spoke to Adamson about his work with Reed and the technology behind the ethereal prints.
Read More "David Adamson Discusses the Art of Lou Reed" »

We interrupt your regular schedule of news that matters to report that video-game maker Konami, the brains behind Dance Dance Revolution, Metal Gear Solid, and Silent Hill, has partnered with the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, the entertainment goliath behind Tim and Eric, Venture Bros., and Squidbillies, to release a video game for Xbox and Playstation based on the hit show Metalocalypse, according to a release from Cartoon Network Enterprises.

According to Brendon Small, the show's creator, Konami and Adult Swim went "above and beyond and found the biggest nerds in the industry to help develop and deliver what will without a doubt be the most successful downloadable cartoon death metal game in recorded history.”

But wait, there's more.

Read More "BREAKING: Metalocalypse Gets Its Own Video Game" »

Here's what our dear, dear Jule Banville--just gimme a sec to dry my eyes--had to say about tonight's musical offering at the Rock & Roll Hotel:

If Elizabeth and the Catapult hit its debut a touch sooner—and landed an iPod commercial, of course—it’d be Elizabeth Ziman, and not Leslie Fiest, singing with Tweedy on the new Wilco album. Instead, Ziman’s folksy, jazzy chamber-pop trio has built a loyal downtown following in New York, where Ziman grew up, and packed the Red and the Black last month at the start of the Taller Children tour.

JESUS! Did somebody say WILCO? WILCO ALERT! Lizzie and her Cat-o-pole playing music after the jump. Show deets right this way.

Read More "Tonight in City Lights: Elizabeth and the Catapult" »

Still, this video showing the Fuhrer reacting to news of Michael Jackson's death is brilliant.

Good morning, City Desk readers. Did you miss me? Dave didn't--dude told me to "bring it hard" this week, and I will. I'll start by saying all this love for Michael Jackson seems pretty fucking bizarre. Last time this guy was in the limelight, 2/3 of the country was outraged that he got away with child molestation. Now MJ kicks the bucket and all we can talk about is Off the Wall and Thriller? What about the wine? The touching? The kids-only ranch?
Read More "Our Morning Roundup: Let The Michael Jackson Idolatry Begin" »

Kudos to Borderstan who appears to have scooped every blogger on the central issue of our time. Borderstan has found the location of the Real World D.C. house---2000 S Street NW. We can only add to their scoop with our own reporting!

According to D.C. government documents, the property is valued at $5.69 million (that's the proposed 2010 assessment). The house was purchased on January 1, 2001 by DLB 20th LP. It appears that MTV or some Real World company is renting the house.

Read More "Real World D.C. House Identified" »