The allure of spaces like Round House Silver Spring, of course, is that you can do an intimate show in them.

One drawback, however: If you’re running just a teeny bit late for your own show, you may find yourself hurrying past the queued-up patrons.

At 15 minutes before your announced curtain time.

Because there’s not so much a stage door.

Monday, in the theater world, is pretty much universally a “dark night” — meaning theaters don’t schedule performances then. It’s the night actors get to socialize, the night light-board ops get to catch up on their TiVo’d Gossip Girl, the night stage managers get to spend time with their stamp collections.

Except when there’s a benefit, or an awards banquet, or a one-off gala to be staged: Because most theaterfolk work a Tuesday-Sunday schedule, these special-event things tend to cluster on Mondays.

To wit: Tonight’s “Where Are You Taking Me,” the capstone of a day-long musical-theater symposium hosted today by Arena Stage and Georgetown University.

On the playbill: songs from nearly a dozen musicals-in-progress, including Signature Theatre’s Giant. The singers? They include a young man you need to hear: Jobari Parker-Namdar, who’s been doing small parts and cabarets around town, and who’s got the vocal chops and the charisma to make a career out of this thing, if I’m any judge. Show’s at 8, at Georgetown’s Gonda Theatre, and it’s free and open to the public. Wanna go? Call Arena at (202) 488-3300.

Gartshore: Songs of ... experience?

Speaking of cabarets: Will Gartshore (that’s him at the piano, with the hooch … stole that right off his Facebook page) has put together an evening called Perfect/Finite, which the PR types are calling “an hour-long musical scrapbook consisting of unforgettable moments, missed opportunities, and temporary thrills.”

(I’m soooo just gonna let that last item lie there.)

More from the flacks: It’s a night of “stories of auspicious beginnings, messy endings, and love’s beautiful flaws. The program is a bold and eclectic combination of pop, contemporary theater music and art songs and includes gay themes and content.”

It’s also tonight — and next Monday, the 17th, at Round House Silver Spring. Tickets $15, at 240-644-1100 or at the Round House site.

OK, so it’s actually just another attempt at guerilla theater-marketing: Charter Theatre honcho Keith Bridges stars (alongside actor-playwright Chris Stezin) in a 7-minute drama about why Charter won’t be staging Richard Washer’s Quartet, originally announced for the new-play specialists’ January-February slot.

Watch (agog) as Bridges explains his emergency back-up plan to his 3-year-old daughter Rosie: “Sweetie, papa has a brilliant idea. He’s going to save his theater company by inviting Barack Obama to come see his next play, called Am I Black Enough Yet? Isn’t that brilliant?”

Viz:

Choice moment: an “outtake,” toward the end, where Bridges tries to get wee Rosie to pimp the Charter website. She’s so over it that she won’t even wave bye-bye when he finally gives up.

Backstory: Charter lost one of the cast members for Quartet — a play that was already “a tough sell,” according to Stezin. (It’s not a comedy. It’s “a low-key, thoughtful piece,” and its musically-inspired structure is anything but orthodox.)

“Bad mojo started to pile up,” Stezin says, and with every theater in town having trouble putting butts in seats, a postponement seemed the best thing for Quartet.

And as the company’s leadership talked about replacements, they realized that Am I Black Enough Yet?, a 2007 hit, “wasn’t just our best selling show last season — but our best-selling show ever,” Stezin says.

And so, a revival. And, coming down the pipe: More episodes of Charter’s serialized YouTube drama. And with any luck, a newly elected special guest and his family in the good seats.

“You can always dream,” Stezin says. “We’d love to get the attention of somebody on the Obama campaign.”

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

The frost is on the Pay-What pumpkin, mostly ’cause there aren’t that many shows in previews right now. But this Monday night at 7, Solas Nua kicks off a new playreading series at the Savory Cafe in Takoma Park. The first show is Made in China, from Dublin writer Mark O’Rowe, whose Crestfall (at Studio Secondstage) is one of the hottest tickets in town right now; Solas Nua promises an ongoing overview of Ireland’s most interesting contemporary playwrights. Admission is free.

Washington Shakespeare Company launches its Best of the Brits reading series on Monday, too. Shrivings, the first play in the series, is by Peter Shaffer, whose Equus just opened on the WSC mainstage. (This one’s a Pay-What.) Up next: Sarah Kane’s Blasted, on Nov. 13.

And I know I’ve said this more than once, but the best deal in town right now is the always-$10-a-seat Catalyst Theater, making a zoot-suit riot out of The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, Bertolt Brecht’s cautionary black comedy about the Hitler-style rise of a Chicago gangster. It’s gotten rave reviews (including mine)—and it’s been extended to Nov. 11.

Otherwise, here’s what I know about:

• Bulletins from Fatland, Horizons Theatre. Caren Anton in “a darkly funny, poignant and occasionally shocking” solo piece, portraying “a female sumo wrestler, an African American pastor, an East London housewife, and a Big Easy waitress—all struggling with body image, acceptance, redemption,” and of course the dreaded F-word. Pay-What previews Friday at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday at 3 p.m. At Warehouse Theatre Second Stage, 1019 7th St. NW.
• Equus, Washington Shakespeare Company (regularly $25-$30). The play about the horse-fucker. (Well, sorta kinda.) Lee Mikeska Gardner directs what’s actually a major piece of 20th-century theater (by Amadeus author Peter Shaffer); it mourns the banal tyranny of the “normal,” and it involves sex, obsession, religion, and yes, a naked young man on the back of a horse. Pay-What matinees every Saturday at 2 p.m. At Clark Street Playhouse, 601 South Clark Street in Crystal City.
• Communion, Horizons Theatre. “Uses stories excavated from the back pages of the newspapers and interviews with women from all walks of life to examine the intersection of spirituality and sexuality as it lives in women’s bodies.” Pay-What preview Saturday at 7:30 p.m. At Warehouse Theatre Second Stage, 1019 7th St. NW.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, sing along with the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

It bears repeating (for another week or two, anyway): The best deal in town right now is the always-$10-a-seat Catalyst Theater, making a zoot-suit riot out of The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, Bertolt Brecht’s cautionary black comedy about the Hitler-style rise of a Chicago gangster. It’s gotten rave reviews (including mine), and it’s been extended to Nov. 11.

Otherwise, here’s what I know about:

• Red Light Winter, Studio Theatre (regularly $40-$48). Adam Rapp’s “engagingly convulsive drama” (sez Mondello) “begins with a comically inept suicide attempt and evolves into a bleak if frequently laugh-provoking chronicle of romantic yearning.” Joy Zinoman directs; FREE performances tonight, Thursday, and Friday at 8 p.m. Reservation required; call 202-332-3300 and mention CuDC. At the Zinoplex, 14th and P Streets NW.
• Never the Sinner, Actors Theatre of Washington. (Regularly $31.50) John Logan’s crime-scene-and-courtroom drama about the Leopold & Loeb murder. Mondello weighs in here. Pay-What performances tonight, Thursday, and Friday at 8 p.m., plus Sunday at 7 p.m. At the Source Theatre space, 1835 14th St. NW.
• Equus, Washington Shakespeare Company (regularly $25-$30). The play about the horse-fucker. (Well, sorta kinda.) Harry Potter himself (meaning Daniel Radcliffe) stars in a flashy London revival in March; locally, and now, the accomplished Lee Mikeska Gardner directs what’s actually a major piece of 20th-century theater (by Amadeus author Peter Shaffer) involving sex, obsession, religion, and yes, a naked young man on the back of a horse. Critics see it next week. Pay-What previews this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (whoops) Monday at 8 p.m. At Clark Street Playhouse, 601 South Clark St., Arlington.
• Monster, Rorschach Theatre (regularly $21.50). Neal Bell’s adaptation got an Olney Theater production a while back; now come some of the District’s youngest, Turk-iest theatrical Young Turks with their take. Critics see it Monday; a YouTube preview is here. Pay-What previews this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at 8 p.m. At Sanctuary Theatre/Casa Del Pueblo, 1459 Columbia Road NW.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Warmed-over plug from last week: The best deal in town right now is the always-$10-a-seat Catalyst Theater, making a zoot-suit riot out of The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, Bertolt Brecht’s cautionary black comedy about the Hitler-style rise of a Chicago gangster.

Otherwise, here’s what I know about:

• Orange Flower Water, Didactic Theatre. “Romantic chaos…moral ambiguity…two couples…an extramarital affair”—yup, sounds like Six Feet Under scribe Craig Wright (whose plays Grace and Melissa Arctic had their world premieres in D.C.). I’m seeing it Sunday. Pay-What preview tonight, Thursday, at 7:30 p.m. At DCAC, 2438 18th St. NW.
• Jon Spelman’s Frankenstein, Round House Theatre. The noted storyteller/performer retells Mary Shelley’s Gothic parable from the Creature’s point of view. Critics see it next week. Pay-What preview tonight, Thursday, at 8 p.m. At Round House Silver Spring, 8641 Colesville Road.
• Never the Sinner, Actors Theatre of Washington. John Logan’s crime-scene-and-courtroom drama about the Leopold & Loeb murder. Bob Mondello liked the atmospherics of a 1997 Ethan McSweeny staging a bit better than the play itself, but I hear this one might be interestingly disturbing. Pay-What preview tonight (regularly $31.50), Thursday, at 8 p.m. At the Source Theatre space, 1835 14th St. NW.
• Spring Forward/Fall Back, Theater J. A premiere from theater titan Robert Brustein, founder of Yale Rep and longtime New Republic theater critic. From the theater: “A deeply personal new play about successive generations of fathers and sons and their continuing conflicts over music. An esteemed conductor is compelled to visit the formative stages of his life, returning to the rich, immigrant culture of an Upper West Side tenement filled with love and dissension.” Critics see it next week. Pay-What previews Sunday and Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. At the DCJCC, 16th and Q Streets NW.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Remember there are (or were) $10 seats, limited availability, for the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Enemy of the People—tonight, Thursday, at 8. Offer good by phone only (at 202.547.1122, option 3; mention promotion code 3437).

Also: The local edition of the global Samuel Beckett Centenary Festival continues. If you missed the “listening party” this past Monday (they staged four of the radio plays), you can download podcasts of the Warehouse Theatre performances here—but only through Oct. 15, so get ’em now. A free festival-style screening of excerpts from the superb “Beckett on Film” collection continues through tomorrow, Friday. Meanwhile Solas Nua and Forum Theater collaborate on stagings of Rough for Theatre II and other short plays and poems at the Warehouse Second Stage this weekend; tickets are $15.

And the best deal in town right now is the always-$10-a-seat Catalyst Theatre, making a zoot-suit riot out of The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, Bertolt Brecht’s cautionary black comedy about the Hitler-style rise of a Chicago gangster.

Otherwise, here’s what I know about:

• The Insect Play, SCENA Theatre. He gave us the word “robot” (or maybe his brother did), not to mention a body of work that dazzled no less dazzling a figure than Arthur Miller. Here, Czech playwright Karel Čapek sets the beetles, the butterflies, and the ants to debating philosophy in a blistering satire on totalitarian politics. Critics see it next week. Pay-What previews Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m and Sunday at 3 p.m. At the Warehouse Theatre Mainstage, 1021 7th St. NW.
• iMusical, the Improvised Musical, Washington Improv Theater. Ummm, it’s improv, so your guess is as good as mine. Travis Ploeger of Chicago City Limits directs. Pay-What preview next Wed., Oct. 18, at 8 p.m. At Flashpoint, 916 G St. NW.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Worth noting this week: The local edition of the global Samuel Beckett Centenary Festival. Freebies include a “listening party” next week at the Warehouse (they’ll stage four of the radio plays), plus a festival-style screening, from next Tuesday to Friday, Oct. 10–13, of excerpts from the superb “Beckett on Film” collection—from the 6-minute Catastrophe to the 84-minute Endgame.

Plus, if you haven’t gone to see Josh Lefkowitz’s show, you should. It’s great, and it’s a $15 seat—through Sunday in the rehearsal room at Woolly. Book now; it’s a small space.

And here’s a reminder we like to trot out occasionally:

• Lots of D.C. theaters offer rush seats (sometimes called stampede seats or Hottix or some other silliness) a half-hour or so before showtime. Theater J’s, for instance, are $15 on weekdays and Sundays, $20 on Saturdays, available 30 minutes before curtain if a show’s not sold out.
• Studio Theatre, I gather, is actively looking for new ushers right this minute. (See this page—and be nice to Solomon, ‘cause he’ll hook you up.)
• And remember there’s always TicketPlace, the half-price day-of-show outlet down in Penn Quarter.

Otherwise, here’s what I know about:

• The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, Catalyst Theatre. Brecht’s in exile, writing about the Germany he’s just fled—but he wants the world to listen, so he sets his parable about Hitler’s rise in gangland Chicago, circa 1930. And it’s a comedy, natch—blacker than black, but a comedy nonetheless. Scot McKenzie stars; critics see it Saturday. Pay-What previews tonight, Thursday, and tomorrow, Friday, at 7:30 p.m. At Capitol Hill Arts Workshop, 545 7th St. SE.
• Enemy of the People, Shakespeare Theatre Company. Henrik Ibsen’s titanic whistle-blower drama, directed by an actual Norwegian. CP says: “The play’s a fierce attack on party politics and self-interested timidity, but it’s also a study of a terribly flawed hero … and [Kjetil] Bang-Hansen’s production focuses mercilessly on the latter.” $10 seats tonight, Oct. 5, through Oct. 12; calendar is here. Offer good by phone only: Call 202.547.1122, option 3, and mention promotion code 3437. At the Lansburgh Theatre, 450 7th St. NW.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Just the one Pay-What this week, but there are plenty of cheap seats and freebies and one-offs coming up in the next few days.

Ferinstance:

• The VSA arts Playwright Discovery initiative (yup, the same program that pegged Phoebe Rusch as a startling new talent) stages the one-act by this year’s winner, 18-year-old Floridian Jonathan Mayer, at 7:30 tonight, Thursday. The play: Mistakes, Inc., which “challenges the audience to imagine what would happen if they could have their mistakes erased simply by calling a 1-800 number.” Paul-Douglas Michnewicz (who staged Theater Alliance’s luminous production of Rusch’s 3/4 of a Mass for St. Vivian) directs. Tix are free, if any are left.
• Speaking of Theater Alliance: They’re putting up another cabaret evening this Saturday at 8. Singers Joanne Schmoll, Rob McQuay, Jim Breen, and Judy Simmons are on the bill for The Women of Tin Pan Alley; tix are $15.
• Busboys & Poets, meanwhile, has booked in the Strike Anywhere Performance Ensemble with a theatrical vaudeville called 10 Brecht Poems. One show Saturday at 10:30 p.m., two on Sunday, at 4 and 10:30. Tix are $12 at the door.
• Ford’s Theatre has commissioned a one-scene show about the Lincoln assassination—told from the POV of one of the three brothers who owned Ford’s on the day that gave it its extra-theatrical reputation. One Destiny opens this Monday, Oct. 2, and runs for three weeks; Stephen F. Schmidt (the Helen Hayes–winning Officer Lockstock in Signature’s Urinetown), plays Harry Ford. Seats are free for all shows, or $1 if you want to reserve in advance.
• And Journeymen Theatre is apparently offering half-price seats at all remaining performances of the well-reviewed Spinning Into Butter, which runs through Saturday. Check TicketPlace. Which, it’s worth noting, is always a good idea if you’re looking for discount seats.

As far as straight-up Pay-Whats, here’s the only one I know about:

• Stripping Don Juan, Teatro GALA. The infamous seducer gets his, courtesy of a savvy young woman who hits him where it hurts: Squarely in the macho. Written Ana Caro Mallén de Soto, one of a handful of female playwrights from Spain’s 17th-century theatrical golden age. Gala boss Hugo Medrano updates the play with a modern setting; in Spanish with English surtitles. Critics see it Saturday. Pay-What preview tonight, Thursday, at 8 p.m. At Gala Theatre-Tivoli, 14th Street and Park Road NW.

And remember: Tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Just the two Pay-Whats this week, but here’s a sexy little development: Josh Lefkowitz (right) is bringing his Fringe festival hit back for eight shows in that rehearsal hall off the main lobby at Woolly Mammoth—and tix are only $15 each.

The title is Help Wanted: A Personal Search for Meaningful Employment at the Start of the 21st Century, which sounds dreadful—unless you can hear Lefkowitz’s dryly funny voice delivering it. And really, you should hear this fledgling monologist: His timing’s precise, his writing’s witty and sharp, and his technique is really impressive. (Plus there’s a fairly funny joke at Michael Kahn’s expense.)

Help Wanted was easily one of my favorite Capital Fringe outings—and while I’d be glad to see any festival show get a post-Fringe booking, I’m doubly pleased to see this talented sprout get another shot at a D.C. audience. (He’s worked at Woolly and Signature, in case you’re thinking he looks familiar, but he’s based in New York these days.) Plus, it’s nice to see Woolly using the rehearsal space as a public performance venue. (Howard Shalwitz says they’re in it for the long run, too; theyr’e talking about hanging a lighting grid in there.)

Lefkowitz’ run starts tonight, Thursday, at 8:15 and goes through next Sunday, Sept. 24—full schedule is here. Get yer $15 tickets online (there’s a fee) or just get yerself to Woolly Mammoth, at 7th and D NW. Seriously: Don’t miss it.

Aside from Lefkowitz, here’s what I know about:

• Spinning Into Butter, Journeymen Theater. Hate mail sparks an uproar (and some painful self-examination) on a supposedly liberal college campus. Jeff Keenan directs; Mondello likes Maura McGinn’s “attractive, forthright and utterly persuasive” performance as a conflicted academic. Pay-What performances every Wednesday (until it closes) at 7:30 p.m. At Clark Street Playhouse, 601 South Clark St. in Crystal City.
• A Prayer for Owen Meany, Round House Theatre. John Irving’s sprawling novel (about a boy who may or may not be a latter-day messiah, but certainly is an accidental killer) gets the stage treatment. Critics raved in London, but your humble locals don’t see it until the 18th. Pay-What performance this Saturday, Sept. 16, at 3 p.m. At Round House, 4545 East-West Highway in Bethesda.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Dry spell’s over, and suddenly it’s a busy theater weekend, with four openings (and I’m in Miami). Here’s what I know about:

• Spinning Into Butter, Journeymen Theater. Hate mail sparks an uproar (and some painful self-examination) on a supposedly liberal college campus. Jeff Keenan directs; critics see it tomorrow. Pay-What preview tonight, Thursday, at 7:30 p.m., and Pay-What performances every Wednesday (until it closes) at 7:30 p.m. At Clark Street Playhouse, 601 South Clark St. in Crystal City.
• MacBird!, American Century Theater. LBJ meets the Scottish Play in this ’60s-era satire. It’s a musical, and the off-Broadway original starred Stacy Keach. ’Nuff said. Critics see it Saturday; Pay-What preview tonight, Thursday Sept. 7, at 8 p.m. Call 703-553-8782 or e-mail info@americancentury.org and use the code “JFK” if you wanna reserve in advance.
• Red Light Winter, Studio Theatre. “[C]haracters always at the bottom of life, actions always the harshest and ugliest”; that’s Village Voice critic Michael Feingold on Adam Rapp’s plays, at least until he encountered this one. There’s still a lot of ugliness, apparently—but Rapp supposedly betrays his inner romantic, too. Critics see it Sunday, and we’ll have a review for you next week. Pay-What preview Saturday, Sept. 9, at 2 p.m. At Studio, 14th and P Streets NW.
• A Prayer for Owen Meany, Round House Theatre. John Irving’s sprawling novel (about a boy who may or may not be a latter-day messiah, but certainly is an accidental killer) gets the stage treatment; critics raved in London, but your humble locals don’t see it until the 18th. Pay-What performance Wednesday, Sept. 13 at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday, Sept. 16, at 3 p.m. At Round House, 4545 East-West Highway in Bethesda.

“There needs to be a sense of gargoyles …”

Rorschach Theatre put up a reading of Jennifer Maisel’s “urban fairy tale” (wait, didn’t Rorschach just do one of those?) at 2 o’clock today. I lasted through the longish first act, then fled.

Not because I didn’t want to find out whether Maisel’s stockbroker Prince Charming (James Denvil) would survive the downward spiral he seemed to be starting.

And not because I didn’t wanna know whether the show’s Cinderella-with-a-past (Lindsay Haynes) would successfully transform the strangely knowing homeless guy (Jason Linkins) from frog-stinky to Wall Street-worthy.

Mostly I left because I was freezing my ass off in the Kennedy Center Family Theater. (And I have to say, Maisel was taking her sweet time with the rising action.)

And because out on the Millennium Stage, Synetic Theater (you remember, the Georgian lot with the movement thing) had started an open rehearsal of its upcoming Frankenstein adaptation. (It launches Synetic’s season later this month, upstairs at the Terrace Theater. Which reminds me that Rorschach’s doing a Frankenstein adaptation this fall, too–Neal Bell’s Monster, which opens at Halloween.)

So I parachuted into the Synetic thing just as the cast was doing vocal warm-ups: Theophilus Thistle, the famous thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Or words to that effect. And so on, before a quick run through an opening ballroom-dance sequence and the through-the-icebergs passage.

Director Paata Tsikurishvili sat with a script at on onstage table while production manager Anna Lane filled the near-capacity crowd in on Synetic’s mime-and-dance-infused style, and described some of the sets (a stage-wide wire curtain) and props they weren’t seeing–not least the electric chair Victor will be using to bring the monster to life.

Meanwhile at the other end of the KenCen’s long grand foyer, a lone aerialist with the hair of Boticelli’s Venus spun silently above the stage — warming up for Taffety Punk’s take on Shakespeare’s The Phoenix and Turtle, maybe? The velvet ropes were up, so I couldn’t find out for sure.

There’s more here tonight — Venus Theatre, Art Riot, Washington Improv, and the Bouncing Ball troops (that’s the bunch who brought you Lunch at Capital Fringe), among others.

But you’re on your own for those: We’re off to get a little food, and then I’ve gotta go review the world’s longest play about a whistle-blower. See ya tomorrow…

“It’s like pilot season for theater.” —Fiona Blackshaw

It is, kinda. The Kennedy Center’s Page to Stage new-play festival, which runs through Monday, partly serves up previews of stuff you’ll see on D.C.-area stages in the coming season. Signature Theatre, ferinstance, will be showcasing a new Underground Railroad musical by Nevermore composer Matt Conner.

But Page to Stage is also a kind of mini-Fringe, with local artists and companies trying out stuff that may never get another airing. It’s got a Fringe-y critical-mass vibe going on: Everywhere you look, there’s an actor or a director or a producer killing time, waiting to go on, or go in to watch a colleague’s staged reading, or go out for a bite with a friend who’s just finished a showcase.

And like Fringe, it’s the kind of place where things don’t always go as planned.

Forum Theatre and Dance, by way of example, scheduled a staged reading of a little comedy called The Adventures of Ali and Ali and the aXes of Evil. Then they discovered, once they got knee-deep into rehearsal, that a comedy written by a trio of smartasses named Yousseff and Chai and Verdecchia was a lot less funny when you put a couple of pale males in the leads. Less funny, in fact, than downright offensive.

So they scrapped Ali and Ali—at least until they can find the right actors. And Forum’s 2 p.m. slot on the Page to Stage schedule was occupied by? Animal Remains, by New York-based writer Justin Tolley, a member of the Neo-futurists playwrights collective who studied at JMU with Forum’s Michael Dove.  It’s a dark little story about three high-school friends still bound by the shared memory of a long-ago trauma. The actors got their first look at it yesterday—and played it to an audience of about 85 this gray, rainy afternoon.

In one of the four o’clock slots, a sprawling history play about a gang of Nazi saboteurs (and the never-mind-the-habeas-corpus treatment they got from FDR’s government) drew an SRO crowd of 100 or so in the South Atrium Lobby upstairs. SCENA Theatre’s Robert McNamara, who scripted the heavy-on-the-contemporary-parallels drama from a true story, wasn’t on hand—he’s apparently in Germany, whence he was e-mailing script updates as recently as yesterday. (From the beer garden, or so one cast member cracked afterward. Which might explain some of the circularity in some of those speeches.)

And another capacity bunch (hey, it’s all free, and the weather’s foul, but still: hooray for crowds) turned up for the 6 p.m. Millennium Stage showcase of a little item that’s already had a cabaret outing at Theater Alliance–and may turn up again in a full production at Metro Stage one season soon. D.C.-based actor/director/choreographer Michael Bobbitt has put together a revue of songs by Stephen Schwartz —the shameless populist behind Wicked, Pippin, and Godspell. Local musical-theater heavies including Erin Driscoll and Eleasha Gamble belted candy-corn songs like “Defying Gravity” and “When You Believe;” Priscilla Cuellar  put a torch to “Since I Gave My Heart Away,” from that excruciating Disney-ABC Geppetto starring Drew Carey. And everyone got a swat at cleverer stuff, including Working’s “It’s an Art” (done as a competitive duet) and a mashup of Pippin’s “Good Time Ladies Rag,” Godspell’s “All for the Best.”

Bobbitt and collaborator John L. Cornelius (who did the arrangements for the Schwartz project) also previewed a new musical they’re working on: The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings is based on William Brasher’s novel about a star Negro League pitcher who gives the finger to his team’s owner and tours with his own barnstorming band of baseballers.

Schwartz, whose presence made the crowd go Oooooh and clap a lot, isn’t the only celeb who’ll be on hand for Page to Stage.  If you’re going, keep your eyes peeled for Schindler’s List author Thomas Keneally, who’s workshopping a play (about an SS officer, go figure) with Theater J; it goes up Monday at 2 p.m.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

So—the theater season’s still not back into full gear, though things do pick up this weekend with openings at the Shakespeare Theatre and Woolly Mammoth. (Let me just tell you now: Buy your tickets now for In the Continuum at Woolly. Bob Mondello’s back from his six weeks of vacation, the bastard, and he’ll be reviewing it in next week’s paper, but I saw the show earlier this year, and it’s superb. And it’s only here for four weeks.)

No Pay-Whats for either of those shows, though. Here’s what I know about:

• In the Mood, Olney Theatre Center. A new play from D.C. writer Irene Wurtzel asks what happens when “till death do us part” gets tested by bipolar disorder; a sculptor and her diplomat husband wrangle with her growing fame and his growing illness. Chris Lane, MaryBeth Wise, and Halo Wines are in the cast; critics see it Sept. 9. Pay-What previews Tuesday, Sept. 5 at 7:45 p.m. At Olney Theatre Center, 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Rd. in Olney, Md.
• Spinning Into Butter, Journeymen Theater. Hate mail sparks an uproar (and some painful self-examination) on a supposedly liberal college campus. Jeff Keenan directs; critics see it next Friday. Pay-What previews Wednesday and Thursday, Sept. 6 and 7, at 7:30 p.m. At Clark Street Playhouse, 601 South Clark St. in Crystal City.
• MacBird!, American Century Theater. LBJ meets the Scottish Play, in this ’60s-era satire. It’s a musical, and the off-Broadway original starred Stacy Keach. ‘Nuff said. Critics see it next Saturday; Pay-What preview next Thursday, Sept. 7, at 8 p.m. (call 703-553-8782 or e-mail info@americancentury.org and use the code “JFK” if you wanna reserve in advance).
• Oh, and we don’t typically review ’em, but if you’re into the National Players (the venerable touring troupe based out at Olney), they’ve got an Importance of Being Earnest going up. Pay-Whats are next Wednesday and Thursday, Sept. 6 and 7, at 7:30.

Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Well, this feature has officially run aground: It’s the deadest time of the theatrical year, with the possible exception of the week between Christmas and New Year’s. Almost nothing is opening this week. And because Pay-Whats tend to be offered during previews, just before openings, well…almost nothing is being Pay-Whatted.

There is this Hatchery Festival thing, which wraps up this weekend—and as with the last two weeks, there are a couple of Pay-What performances associated with that. See below for details.

And it bears repeating that all the Hatchery performances are pretty cheap. Technically these are workshops, which are all about giving promising young playwrights a chance to see their possibly rough work on its feet—so you pays your money and you takes your chances.

Still, the festival is right here in Adams Morgan through this Sunday, Aug. 20—and if you’re a DCAC member, admission is the same $10 you’d spend on a movie. (It’s only $15 for non-members.)

So think of it this way: Even if what you see isn’t so hot, it’s probably better than…wait, what shall we pick on this week?…Oh, I’ve got it: Talladega Nights. So go check out a show, then come back here and post your review as a comment.

Here’s the rundown on the final Hatchery show:

• The Woodpecker, The Hatchery. Set in Arkadelphia, Ark., hometown of 25-year-old playwright Samuel Brett Williams. A “pitch-black comedy about endangered species and Guantanamo.” Gee, by “endangered species” do we mean democracies, civil liberties, and enlightened discourse? Nope, apparently we mean actual woodpeckers. Though I’m guessing there’s a metaphor in there somewhere. Rorschach regular Grady Weatherford directs. Pay-What workshop performances Saturday and Sunday at 3 p.m. At DCAC, 2438 18th St. NW.