What to do when a group of lazy, lunch-delivering schoolgirls brings spoiled food to the school band, causing them all to get food poisoning? Well, force those brats to pick up some instruments and take the band’s place, of course. That’s the premise of Japanese director Shinobu Yaguchi’s 2004 comedy, Swing Girls—and, if it doesn’t [...]
Well, here we are folks. After a disastrous start, a coaching change, a sudden surge through the standings despite long-term injuries to key players, and an MVP-worthy season by franchise left-winger Alexander Ovechkin, the Washington Capitals find themselves in a position to make the playoffs for the first time since the 2002-2003 season. Not only [...]
I want a sweet picture of the members of Congress pointing and laughing at the people who live in the capital of a nation that denies them one of the very rights this country was founded on. The rest of the country probably won't get it, so you might as well add the old "Taxation [...]
On November 23, 2007, newly-promoted Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau worked his first game behind the bench in the National Hockey League. That night, the cellar-dwelling Capitals—who were in last place in the Southeast Division—beat the Philadelphia Flyers in overtime by the score of 4-3, earning Boudreau his first NHL win. Last night, Boudreau and [...]
Mount Pleasant Street and Irving Street NW, February 3.
Fuck you, Bill Belichick, you cheating dipshit assclown, for "Spygate."
Fuck you, Bill Belichick, you classless prick, for running up the score against the Washington Redskins.
Fuck you, Bill Belichick, you worthless failure of a human being who took an undefeated New England Patriots team to the [...]
U2 3D (aka U2 3D: The First Live-Action 3D Concert Movie, Featuring U2 ...): It's like seeing U2 live, in three dazzling dimensions, except it's on film. U2 3D opens today at the National Museum of Natural History's Johnson IMAX Theatre, 10th St. & Constitution Ave. NW.
Also, that dude still seriously calls himself "The [...]
Shhh. Shut your yapping mouths for a minute, Pittsburgh. Let me enjoy this moment.
The Washington Capitals have finally beaten the Pittsburgh Penguins. In Pittsburgh, no less. Which, you know, hasn’t happened since dinosaurs walked the Earth. (Note: I’m pretty sure that the Weekly World News reported a T-Rex sighting in southern Florida in 2002—which IS [...]
Hockey fans, meet the Ottawa Senators: A team that went to the Stanley Cup Finals last season. A team with the best record in the Eastern Conference. A team with a lot of pride.
A team that just can’t admit that the lowly Washington Capitals fucking own them.
Last night, the Capitals beat the Senators [...]
Last night’s announced crowd of 16,168 people at the Verizon Center for the Washington Capitals’ match against the Colorado Avalanche was one of the largest I’ve seen there all year. Which was great, but where the hell did all of you people come from? Is it because the Caps are suddenly winning, going 12-6-4 since [...]
Courtesy of Wilmington, Delaware's The News Journal:
Urinating man tumbles off overpass into river
By Terri Sanginiti, The News Journal
Posted Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 10:48 am
A 51-year-old Wilmington man who stopped to urinate over an overpass on Del. 141 this morning and toppled 40 feet into the water is being treated at Christiana Hospital for hypothermia, [...]
There is a steaming pound of meat on my desk and I don’t know what to do with it.
Okay, that’s not true. On my desk, there is actually a ticket stub from yesterday’s New Year’s Day matinee match-up between the Washington Capitals and the Eastern Conference-leading Ottawa Senators, whom the Caps beat by the [...]
Congratulations to Bruce Boudreau, whom the Washington Capitals organization named Head Coach For Serious in an officially official statement released earlier today. Since Boudreau was named interim coach on Nov. 22, the Caps have gone 7-5-3 and seen improvements in offensive production, special teams, and winning percentage. Which is to say that the team still [...]
The holiday season is a time for families to gather, celebrate, and drink the shit out of some serious hard liquor in order to tolerate each other—and to forget how much the whole gathering-and-celebrating thing is a major pain in the ass. So, here is my special gift to you, dear readers: After the break, [...]
As the latest round of suburban riots indicates, France has done an inadequate job of integrating its immigrants and their children. Yet foreign-born characters are better represented in recent French films than in their American counterparts. Director Pierre Jolivet’s Zim & Co, for example, is set in a multicultural youth subculture as diverse as the [...]
Okay so yeah, the Caps are still totally in last place in the Eastern Conference. But they are totally not dead last in the NHL.
According to inside sources, when asked about the Washington Capitals, Washington City Paper City Lights Editor Matthew Borlik said, "Fuck yeah, 29th best team in the league! Suck it, L.A. [...]
