Author Archive for Joe Eaton

Behind the Red Doors

They keep the water bongs out front at B & K News Stand in Adams Morgan, but sex and Tom Clancy, it seems, trump weed. For that you've got a pay a buck.
Several times during the past two weeks, I have stopped by the store looking, unsuccessfully, for the September issue of Outside.
Each time, after [...]

Tenants to Landlord: Don’t Fix Our Apartments

Many tenants would be happy if their landlord installed a new kitchen, new wiring, and new heating equipment in their apartment. But the tenant association at the Dorchester House in Adams Morgan says their landlord can keep the upgrades.
When the association learned in July that the 395-unit apartment building would soon undergo major construction, it [...]

Immigrant Song?

John Cox maybe be long-shot nut job numero uno in the race for the Republican presidential nomination, but the activist from Chicago seems to have decent taste when it comes to lifting background music for his weird anti-immigrant song. Does Robert Plant know about this?

Tatts Amore

Over the past two weekends in Ocean City, I have learned a bit about the world of underground tattooing.
Two weeks ago, I met man with P-A-U-L tattooed on his knuckles. He went by Pauly (not enough knuckles, I guess). Over a beer at a biker bar, Pauly told me that he survived prison by working [...]

Stupid Criminals Try Craigslist

At least one juvenile learned a lesson last weekend about fencing stolen bikes: Craigslist might not be the best place to sell them.
On July 28, that teenager was arrested after a Silver Spring woman found her stolen Schwinn beach cruiser advertised on the site.
The problem began two days earlier when a teenage boy in a [...]

Hemp: Not Just for Shirts Anymore

No word yet on Whole Foods Market stores in D.C., but lucky longhairs in Maryland and Virginia may soon be able to duck out of the upscale food chain with baggies of...hemp pretzels.
And what better way to improve the taste of dough and salt than by adding a little rope material to the mix? It's [...]

Seepage Part II

It is commonly known that bad smells have the ability to ruin a person's mood. What may be less known is that a continuous foul odor may have the ability to destroy a person's sense of empathy.
At least it is so in my case. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how the new [...]

Message to Vick: Try Idaho.

Media reports on Michael Vick's indictment on charges related to running a dog-fighting operation invariably mention that yes, dog fighting is illegal, and yes, it's a felony in 48 states.
I've never seen an organized dogfight, but since reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews a few years back, I've spent more than a normal [...]

I Hate Seepage

The cockroaches I could stand. The mice too. But in the last couple of weeks, a new type of vermin has invaded my third-floor apartment: the smoker downstairs.
I'm not the kind of reformed smoker who's absurdly sensitive to a whiff of tobacco smoke. Truth be told, I'm the kind of reformed smoker who's often tempted [...]

Metrocheks Still Up for Grabs

It happened to me the first time a few weeks ago outside the Fort Totten Metro station. Two teenagers walked up, pulled out five or six Metrochek fare cards and offered each for half their $20 face value.
If I hadn't already paid for a monthly pass, I might have bargained. Instead, as they walked away, [...]

Moonshine Is Calling

The billboards advertising dead bodies are gone at the Metro Center station, replaced with spots for West Virginia, where the only thing without a pulse is the economy.
The advertising campaign "West Virginia is Calling" has plastered posters touting the state next door as a vacationland escape from city living.
I've only been to West Virginia once, [...]

Behold the Autorickshaw

With the charity marathon long since passé, what's a socially conscious D.C. adventure girl to do? Well, in late August, Rajshree Solanki and Jen Cook plan to battle heat, monsoon rains, and insane traffic on a 1,200-mile race across Southern India in a three-wheeled autorickshaw.
Call it Baja 1000 meets Race for the Cure. The Mumbai [...]

The Parrothead Youth Brigade

You don't have to be wasted away, it seems, to ride the booze bus to Buffett. On Craigslist, the D.C. Boomerang Nightlife Party Bus is pimping a trip to the Jimmy Buffett concert on June 28 at the Nissan Pavilion.
Instantly, I had visions of canned island beats pumping from competing ghetto blasters, drunk old people [...]

Mayor Who?

Tired of the Fenty administration? Longing for a leader with a bit of hair and maybe a bowtie?
Then cruise over to the Department of Health's Web site.
Who is that man up in the right-hand corner?

Dis-Carded

I have a difficult time picking out Hallmark birthday cards, but not, apparently, as hard a time as Robin, whose card to her man I found the other day next to Dumpster behind the Marie Reed Community Learning Center in Adams Morgan.
"Someone once said that a good man is hard to find, but I know [...]