Author Archive for Joe Eaton

R.I.P., ‘Heavy T’: Remembering a Big Kid

The first time I heard of Terrell Hunter, he was a success story—a 15-year-old from Southwest who had dropped more than 200 pounds and was learning to box at the YMCA. It was 2007, and I was a new writer at Washington City Paper, reporting at a conference on childhood obesity. After the talk, I [...]

Hot Job — Sports Book Writer

The Bureau of Labor Statistics released a projected list of the 30 fastest growing occupations in the next ten years. Among the predictable healthcare and computer nerd work, a few occupations stand out, none so much as gaming and sports book runners and writers, which fall in at number 14 and are slated for a 28% increase.   If [...]

R.I.P. Evel Knievel

Right of Boom!

Here's my vote for bad ass amateaur video footage of the year.

Glad to Be A Renter

It's a rare day when I'm happy to be a 35-year-old who still black holes a monthly rent check to the landlord.  But according to housing woe projections from Fortune on CNN Money, it looks like my lack of buying power might bring smiles for at least the next five years. According to their crystal ball, an $856,000 home in the Washington [...]

Real Estate Collapse

At around 11 p.m. on Nov. 26, Ronald Thornton was watching a home improvement television show when he heard what sounded like a truck smashing at high speed into a building. Then he felt the floor tremble.
Thornton and his neighbors in Mount Vernon Square filed onto Ridge Street NW to see what had happened. Across [...]

Go “Falling Down” on an Airline Employee, Pay $100 — Sign Me Up

As the Washington Times reports, Rep. Bob Filner of California got fined $100 for some minor violence he let go on a United Airlines baggage employee at Dulles this summer.
Filner entered an Alford plea in the case, allowing there is sufficient evidence to convict him on the charges, but not actually admitting guilt. Good for [...]

Washington Elite Shop at Costco and NYT Readers Seem to Give a Shit

I’m a fan of the most e-mailed lists in the online versions of most newspapers. The lists provide a quick route around the top headlines (what editors think is important) to the stories readers enjoy.
Of course, when the people speak, crap sometimes settles to the top with the gems. Consider Sunday's New York Times story [...]

Examiner Staff Cuts Out Early for Thanksgiving, Turns Editorial Page Over to NRA

Want to lower the District murder rate? Get yourself to a Virginia gun shop poor folk, lay down cash on a nine and take back the neighborhood.
If only that were legal. That's the message of today's  sloppy logic editorial in The Examiner, which argues the D.C. gun ban is to blame for the  number of homicides [...]

Silly Boots

 It's cold out. Time for orange and red leaves, miniskirts and absurd footwear for women.  

Stoned on Crap, Likely Story

Regardless of whether or not the supposed drug jenkem warranted the buzz it generated in the last few weeks, the story of kids spaced out on fermented piss and feces proves once and for all an eternal truth: Regardless of how toxic, brain deadening or simply disgusting a substance may be, tell a 16-year-old it [...]

Jammin’ Me

Not even on the so called ‘quiet car” on the MARC train from Baltimore to Washington can a rider enjoy a book without a cell phone screamer breaking through. This morning I was forced to listen to a woman with an annoying Virginia accent (all Virginia accents are annoying to varying degrees) complain about her [...]

End of Days

At 5:30 p.m. on Sunday, car headlights slashed through the dark streets. It felt like 1 a.m. Daylight Savings Time is over. Standard Time, shit time, no time at all, is back.
President Bush's smartest act came in 2005, when he signed the energy policy that beginning this year gave us four more weeks of Daylight [...]

Ask an Urban Mother

Forget the Post’s advice columnist Carolyn Hax and her advice for lovelorn singles on the Dating Hamster Wheel of Despair (DHWD). Not interesting. Forget Dan Savage and this week’s fringe fetish.
The perils (love and otherwise) of the District’s married with offspring and a decent lump of cash set make for a far more [...]

Odd Man Out

Garrett Mays figures he got played as a sucker. He runs Specialized Services and Associates, a D.C.-based builder. In 2006, Mays met Orlando Sales, a Baltimore construction contractor who was preparing to bid on a contract worth more than $1 million to replace 90 windows at Shepherd Elementary School in Northwest. Sales asked Mays to [...]