Boise State’s spectacular victory over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl Monday night was more than an instant classic, a rebuke of the BCS system, and a reaffirmation of hope and beauty. It was also the first real test of how ingrained George Mason University has become in the sports lexicon.

Since this March, just about every little team (or player) that could—or even might—has invoked comparisons to the Patriots’ incredible run to the Final Four. When Trinidad and Tobago tied Sweden in this summer’s World Cup, they were branded the George Mason of the soccer tournament. Kentucky Derby longshot Platinum Couple’s owners decided to race him on the reasoning that “if George Mason can do it, why can’t we?”

Well, because there’s a difference between a longshot and an underdog. That’s why even though George Mason could do it, Platinum Couple, Trinidad and Tobago, and all the other Mason wannabes couldn’t. But Boise State could. Like George Mason, the Broncos were articulate, good-humored overachievers with a killer instinct, led by an imaginative, gutsy, and principled coach (who sent a senior player back to Boise for violating curfew).

Commentators have rightly compared Boise State’s achievement with George Mason’s; some have even said that it trumps what Mason accomplished. College football now has its very own George Mason with which to compare future gatecrashers. But will the Broncos transcend their sport? Will Boise State eventually replace George Mason as the touchstone of choice when describing an athletics upstart?

No, thanks largely to a friendly gesture of goodwill (and serendipitously brilliant marketing strategy) from George Mason. Last week, the university took out a full-page ad in Boise State’s hometown newspaper, the Idaho Statesman, congratulating the Broncos on their season and wishing them luck in the big game. The ad, signed “From one Cinderella to another,” ran on Saturday, Dec. 30. Just about every media story that covered the game mentioned this ad, and Fox ran a short segment on it during the game. And each time someone brought up the ad, it subtly reinforced the fact that as sports Cinderellas go, the Patriots were the vanguard.

It all started about two weeks ago during the build-up to the Fiesta Bowl, when George Mason president Alan G. Merten noticed the media describing Boise State with the same kind of words as they had used during the Patriots’ Final Four run this spring. Merten, who has a heightened sensitivity for ascendant schools, decided to get in touch with Boise State President Bob Kustra to give his regards. The two presidents had a nice chat, and after a few moments of reflection, Merten called George Mason vice-president of university relations Christine LaPaille and suggested she put in ad in “the local paper in Boise.”

LaPaille designed the ad, got the thumbs-up from Merten, and a few days and several thousand dollars later, Fairfax had a sister city in Idaho.

Statesman advertising director Travis Quast was surprised to take an ad from George Mason. “It’s not unusual for schools to wish one another well, but it usually comes out of your own conference,” he says. “I think it was a very classy move for a university that went through the same grand thing of being a Cinderella.”

Merten had no idea that a spur of the moment gesture from one non-BCS school to another would generate so much attention. Since the game, he’s received dozens of calls and e-mails from people from Idaho to Iraq. “Yes, it was a great marketing success, but when I picked up the phone to call the president of Boise State, it was the farthest thing from my mind,” says Merten. “Did I sit down and think, how can we get our name referenced on Fox? Of course not.”

In fact, Merten didn’t even know Fox was going to run a piece on the ad until he was at home, about to turn on the television and received a phone call from his son-in-law in New York. “They just showed your ad on TV,” his son-in-law reported.

“Then I watched the rest of the game,” Merten says. “What a game.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

AdamsMorgan
December is the season of giving. And taking. Lately, posts about thefts in Adams Morgan have been flying like the first snowballs of winter. One resident reports a stolen Mercedes. Another reports five thefts-from-auto. This prompts a third resident to remind everyone that it’s not just carolers belting out off-key tunes: “When you hear a car alarm, it could be yours!” And Josh chimes in that even well-sheltered belongings aren’t protected. “The basement of our building (1791 Lanier) has been broken into three times in the past month,” he writes. The thieves made off with bikes the first two times, then returned with bolt cutters to break into storage cages. And police seem to be more interested in making their lists than checking them twice. Chris had some jewelry stolen from her home and trying to get recover the cherished items has been nothing but frustration. “We know who stole the items and where they were pawned, and then just NOTHING from the police,” she writes. The whole experience has turned her into a bit of a Grinch. “I don’t mean to be cynical,” she concludes, “but I wish you luck on finding the person who stole the property on Lanier Place.”

concerned4DCPS
Congress’ recent decision to increase the income limit for school vouchers sparks a lively discussion in this education forum. Bonnie wonders if the schools participating in the voucher program are performing any better than the public ones. That’s a difficult question to answer, but one member doesn’t care to make the distinction. “If anyone can name another federally funded program wherein $60k is the bar for ‘low income’ I will eat my hat!!” writes the member. “Once again your tax dollars and this city’s children are being used to carry out an agenda that has nothing to do with the welfare of the children involved in this scheme.” Helen says not to blame the Man. “Anyone who cares for children should look to the cure instead of pointing fingers at ‘the man’ (read Republicans) who is behind this nefarious plot to hurt public schools,” she writes. “Public schools have done a darn fine job of hurting themselves. They don’t need any help from ‘the man.’” Jedxn blames the system, and in a roundabout way ends up blaming the Man. “Ones education determines class,” writes Jedxn. “You can buy your way up through private school. How do you think that numbskull in the White House got his job? Phillips Academy and Yale! Not DCPS and UDC.”

tenleytown
One resident suffering from a case of buyer’s remorse solicits advice. “Help!” she writes. “I’ve signed on for a wonderful trip with an old friend—but now remember she snores loud enough to wake the dead. By the end of the last trip we took together I was contemplating murder most foul. Anyone know of REALLY good earplugs I can buy?” “Try a sports store where they have items for fishing and hunting,” writes Amy. “Target shooters wear earplugs.” Lorrie says a travel-sized white-noise machine might augment her defenses while Fred suggests asking her friend to wear Breathe Right strips. “My wife says they really help,” he writes. Doris says that if poster is truly a good friend, she’ll take the snorer to get checked for sleep apnea. “No ear plugs or device can block out the sound of intensely loud snoring,” she writes. “I know. I now use a breathing machine and travel with it. My husband sleeps soundly and my blood pressure has returned to the normal range. Also, I no longer feel drowsy. Good luck.”

On the morning of Nov. 11, Yvonne Smith was driving through Hillcrest on her way to work at the Metropolitan Police Department. Along the 2200 block of Branch Avenue, an orange dump truck belonging to the Department of Public Works pulled out in front of her. Smith was shocked to see a legless, busty mannequin wearing a racy black top strapped to the truck’s grille.

This wasn’t the first time that someone has found a DPW driver’s aftermarket adornment to be tasteless. Two weeks ago, another resident saw a garbage truck displaying a Dora the Explorer doll like a roadkill trophy. That resident couldn’t catch the truck’s license-plate number, but Smith was more determined: She made a U-turn, wrote down its tags, and then called the city to report it.

“I was offended because of all the issues we have about domestic violence,” says Smith. “And because of the big boobs and the little top the mannequin was wearing, it was in my opinion a form of sexual harassment against the neighborhood.”

Smith was transferred around DPW, but no one seemed to take her complaint seriously. When Smith, a Prince George’s County resident, got to work, she went onto the Hillcrest Internet group and recounted what she had seen. Within an hour, the truck had been located, the mannequin had been removed, and a DPW supervisor had phoned Smith to apologize for the incident and promise that disciplinary action would be taken against the offenders.

DPW spokesperson Mary Myers says that while the employees were told in no uncertain terms that such behavior was unacceptable, the agency doesn’t break down what is and what isn’t appropriate for drivers to put on their trucks. “I don’t think an incident like this has ever come up,” she says. “We don’t have anything specific on mannequins.”

A few weeks ago, dog walker Kelly Marshall led his seven dogs to an open field between 38th and 39th Streets NW in Glover Park. Though the field is officially a spur of Rock Creek Park and owned by the National Park Service (NPS), it’s a de facto dog park widely used by the army of walkers that service the Northwest quadrant. The drinking fountain in the park’s southwest corner, installed by the NPS, even features a ground-level water bowl so doggies can lap water along with their masters.

Marshall says that as he approached the park, two park rangers removing an old mattress from the woods stopped him. “Are you a dog walker?” the ranger asked, according to Marshall. “Because it’s illegal to run a business on federal land without a permit.”

The ranger told Marshall that he was not allowed to take the dogs into the park—leash or no leash. When Marshall asked how he could obtain a permit, the ranger told him that the NPS doesn’t issue them for dog walkers. Earlier that day, another walker who had his dogs off leash was threatened with the impoundment of his dogs.

“The things that people get harassed or ticketed for are for having dogs off leash,” says Marshall. “This is the first that I’ve ever heard of people harassed for having a business on federal land.”

NPS spokesman Bill Line says that the ranger was correct in his interpretation of the law. “If someone wants to operate a dog-walking business and make money off it…and you are using the park on a regular basis to walk the dogs, you’re coming pretty close to or crossing the line of constituting a business,” he says.

Since all the canine traffic could harm the park, the NPS has the authority to require a permit. “Many people who do walk dogs don’t pick up their dogs’ poop,” Line adds. “Is it fair to the next visitor to walk in that dog’s poop? Would you want to walk through that poop?”

Line says that permits can in fact be obtained by calling the NPS’ Office of Park Programs. Marshall, however, merely waited until the rangers loaded the mattress into their truck and then sauntered into the park. “I was like, whatever,” he says. “As soon as…they had left, I took the dogs off leash.”

Before the George Mason University men’s basketball team’s home opener against Wichita State on Saturday, the sold-out crowd at the Patriot Center in Fairfax was treated to the unveiling of a sign commemorating the team’s Final Four berth. But not all the Patriots fans in attendance were so jazzed about the banner hoisted to the rafters.

Ticket holders in Row Z of Section 106 had their views of the scoreboard and the far basket blocked by the 16-foot-by-14-foot flag. Mark Sharp, a frequent GMU basketball attendee, had driven up from Oak Hill, Va., with his daughter and her friend. He hoped the banner would move at tipoff, but it didn’t.

“The seats were fine until they raised the banner,” Sharp says. “Then you realize that you can’t see the game, and it’d be like this the entire time. I had no idea it’d be like this when I bought the tickets.”

Sharp moved to some vacant seats, but about five minutes into the game, the rightful seat-owners showed up. An usher shooed them away, but not before Sharp demanded that his party be moved to some unobstructed seats. Despite the sellout, the university holds a block of seats for just this type of situation, and Sharp et al. were relocated to new, and much better, seats.

John Besanko, assistant general manager of the Patriot Center, says that the facilities staff, new to the whole basketball royalty thing, had only been able to make a test run of the banner-raising the morning of the game.

“This was all brand-new to us,” he says. “It’s our first time going to the Final Four, the first time raising a banner.…If we’ve got only 16 seats needing to be relocated, that’s pretty good.”

Besanko also says that the snafu was a one-time-only thing; after the game, the banner would be moved to a less intrusive location.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

TakomaDC
Those turning leaves look real pretty this time of year, but once they start to pile up on the ground, they send residents into a discussion on proper leaf disposal. Alice reminds that “it is not legal to sweep leaves from your property onto the street. When it rains they end up clogging the gutters, then the city has to send a separate crew out to clean the gutters. Put them on the tree lawn.” But not everyone gets the memo. “today as I was strolling my son to Safeway, I saw some guys cleaning the leaves from someone’s yard (I think it was 7th & Van Buren) and actually raking the leaves into the gutter,” one resident reports. “Didn’t seem right, but wasn’t 100% sure, so I didn’t say anything.” Pam on Underwood writes, “Someone should tell the people across the park…I travel over there every day to pick up my granddaughter from school, and there are huge piles of leaves in the streets!” Another resident worries that she might not be doing enough: “In front of my home, we have a ton of leaves in the street because, well, that’s where they fell. Should I plan to rake those up into the tree box, too?”

concerned4DCPS
LeRoy has had enough of school-board hearings and the accompanying lip service about fixing the litany of problems with the city’s schools. “I get the feeling I’m watching a meeting of robots,” he writes. “Dull proceedings designed to lull us to sleep. My impression from watching them is there is no real problem in the school system. No emergency, no urgency, nothing to get excited about, no problem. Watching this absolutely dysfunctional school board operate on cable TV, you would not know that most of the children and teachers are in seriously deteriorating conditions. Maybe the board members have a different meaning for words.”

So he decides to create a list of those definitions. A sampling:

Drop-out means smaller class size.
Co-location means boys and girls in the same classroom.
Excess space: Developement opportunity.
Parents: 3 minutes of irritation for school bd. that members put up with at hearings. Children: Something to talk about when running for public office.
Charter Schools: Education Condo Conversions for future Yuppies who may have children
Board of Education: Entry level for City Council
Developers: Bribe Givers
City Council: Bribe Takers

Every Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

cleveland-park
It’s no secret that Cleveland Park parents often go beyond the call of duty for their children. There’s Laine, who’s looking for “high recommendations (or warnings) about co-ed sleepaway camps…for a boy who’s not a jock, but great at rocketry, web design, water sports, archery.” There’s Gilah, who seeks “a drum set for my 10-year-old future rock star.” Victoria is “ISO Indoor Soccer League for 12-year-old boys.” And then there are Pete and Beth who are looking for “Any soccor opportunities for a 2-1/2 boy – very fast, understands kicking and dribbling well (a little young for the concept of ‘passsing’ and ‘give-and-go’ plays)- but hoping the passing will come quickly while playing with other kids as a team or group.”

HillcrestDC
Kathy reports that a neighborhood police officer performed two civic duties on Election Day. “Our own Officer Cunningham caught an armed robber Tuesday night when he was returning home from voting (Cunningham was voting, not the robber!),” she writes. “A car being driven erratically happened to cross in front of Cunningham around 33rd and Camden, almost hitting Cunningham’s cruiser. Cunningham chased and caught him. Turns out the driver and his passenger had just committed armed robbery in PG County at a check-cashing store.…The passenger escaped (but may be caught by now). There were piles on money in the car, and a witness from PG County came out and identified the robber.…One can’t help but wonder why someone who just committed armed robbery would attract attention by driving crazy. Not rocket scientists.”

AdamsMorgan
Since the holiday season starts after Halloween these days, 17-year-old Brian Wong offers some advice for shoppers. “Because stores will be crowded during holidays seasons, it is in my best experience that one does shopping online or ask their loved ones in advance for their gift wish list,” he writes. “For example, my birthday is Wednesday, August 16, 1989. My grandmother could ask me on August 19, what do you want for Christmas. I tell her. Come September, she goes out and purchases it. Then when it comes Christmas shopping season, she doesn’t have to brave the long lines and high prices, regardless online or in person. Then after Christmas come September the following year, she asks me again. Then the routine would come again. My grandmother doesn’t really do this. I am sure she would, given how financially conservative my maternal grandparents are.”

On Sept. 19, Cleveland Park resident Amy Longsworth called the city to report an enormous gray pickup truck with Maryland tags that had parked within inches of her driveway, blocking her view of oncoming traffic when she backed out. The offending truck was gone by the time a parking officer arrived 45 minutes later, but to Longsworth’s surprise, the officer placed a ticket on her husband’s car, a silver Buick with D.C. tags.

Longsworth says she tried to explain that this wasn’t the vehicle she had called about, but the officer replied that she had a headache and was just following orders. When Longsworth pointed out that neither reason was grounds for ticketing her husband’s car, the officer suddenly said that the car was parked less than 5 feet from (Longsworth’s own) driveway, and was thus in violation. Longsworth got a tape measure to prove that the car was actually more than 6 feet from the driveway, and the officer agreed, but she refused to take back the ticket. A call to the officer’s supervisor, Erica Woodhouse, was no help. The officer, in front of Longsworth, told Woodhouse that the car was parked less than 5 feet from the driveway. When Longsworth protested, the officer repeated that she had a headache and drove away. The ticket, which included a request for towing, remained under the wiper. Longsworth called Woodhouse back and was told that the officer’s job was not to look at tape measures but to enforce violations.

“I was stunned and amazed,” says Longsworth. “It was frustrating because there was no appealing to reason in the situation. And when [the officer], right in front of me, had no problem getting on the phone with her supervisor and lying—talk about the Twilight Zone.” (Full disclosure: Longsworth writes occasionally for the Washington City Paper.)

Once Longsworth’s blood pressure dropped out of the red zone, she sent an e-mail to the Cleveland Park Internet discussion group. Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner Nancy MacWood forwarded the information to the city’s director of parking enforcement, Teri Adams, who replied in an e-mail that her agency had “investigated, counselled and disciplined both the Supervisor as well as Parking officer involved in this incident.” Bill Howland, the director of the Department of Public Works (DPW), also called Longsworth to apologize, and the ticket was dismissed. “This isn’t something that we condone,” says DPW spokesperson Mary Myers. “It’s unacceptable behavior.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Brookland
A California transplant needs roach advice. “For the last month, every week or so I have been finding three or so beetle looking things in my bathroom,” she writes. “Yesterday, I turned on my oven and 15 or so of the little beetle things came running out from the small gap between my counter and my oven and maybe 5 HUGE roaches ran out after them! Will they multiply and take over my condo? Is it a terrible idea to let them live in their crack?” Yes, residents respond. They suggest roach poison, boric acid, baking soda, and keeping a spotless kitchen—just don’t cede any ground to the harbingers of decay. “Roaches are not live and let live creatures,” writes a former New Yorker. “You just have to get rid of them.

shepherdpark
From assorted 4th District police reports: Sibling rivalry is a bitch: “[Complainant 1] REPORTS BEING INVOLVED IN A VERBAL DISPUTE, [Suspect 1] THEN BECAME ENRAGED AND HIT C1 IN THE FACE WITH AN AXE. THIS CAUSED A LACERATION TO THE LEFT SIDE OF C1′S FACE. C1 AND S1 ARE BROTHERS.” Now, Borf—there was an artist: [Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT UNKNOWN SUSPECT PUSHED OUT THE REAR BASEMENT WINDOW OF THE LISTED LOCATION. THE UNKNOWN SUSPECT THEN ENTERED THE LOCATION AND SPRAY PAINTED THE INTERIOR WALLS WITH THE WORD “BITCH.” Next idea—sell ice to Eskimos: [Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT [Suspect 1] CAME TO C1 DOOR AND ASKED IF C1 WOULD LIKE TO BUY A PLANT. C1 REFUSED. AS S1 LEFT THE LOCATION, S1 GRABBED A PLANT FROM THE FRONT OF C1′S HOME AND FLED.

HillcrestDC
What’s in a name? That’s what one resident wonders as he muses about the negative stereotypes associated with the moniker “east of the river.” “’East Washington’ has been a vernacular that has now seeped into the conscienciouness of many,” he writes. “Therefore, I ask, is it time that the East of the River magazine change its name, perhaps to something like East Washington News?” “This is total bs,” Orandra Cotton replies. “If these people are so disgusted and disturbed about living in SE-DC than they all should just move to another side of town. I assume they made a conscious decision to move to southeast- East of the River…what we need to be focusing on is how we as a collective community are going to move forward and rid ourselves of the growing thug mentality of our children who are terrorizing each other and eventually the adult population with their barbaric acts of violence.”

Nearly 100 city fire hydrants were out of service as recently as Aug. 23, according to D.C. Water and Sewer Authority records. That represents more than 1 percent of the 8,700 city-owned hydrants.

One of them was involved in a fire two weeks ago in Stanton Park. On the afternoon of Aug. 12, firefighters responded to an electrical blaze on the 1300 block of Emerald Street NE. According to witnesses, when firefighters tried to tap the nearest fire hydrant, located just a few doors down, nothing came out. A second company of firefighters ran down the block, across 13th Street, and connected the hose to another hydrant about 600 feet away.

That the only mid-block fire hydrant on the street didn’t work came as no surprise to residents. Of the five hydrants in the vicinity, Lacey Bigelow, a resident since 1971, says he knew of only one that worked. “We used to joke that if there’s a fire, it’s gonna be hell,” he says.

The hydrant misstep didn’t prevent firefighters from successfully extinguishing the fire. Once the scene had calmed down, another neighbor asked a fire technician to test the hydrant. No water. The technician told her that it wasn’t uncommon for there to be dead hydrants in the city.

According to fire department spokesperson Alan Etter, WASA has sole responsibility of inspecting and maintaining the city’s hydrants. When WASA finds a hydrant in need or repair, it notifies the fire department’s communications division, which then relays the information over the radio. Firefighters at the affected stations typically write down the location of the hydrant on a chalkboard. The same process occurs then the hydrant comes back online.

“Obviously, we’d like to have all of them working, but it’s not a perfect world,” says Etter. “We understand that when you maintain 8,700 hydrants, some will go out of service. You do the best you can.”

But, as Lt. L.A. Matthews of Engine Company 21 in Adams Morgan says, “Even one [inoperable hydrant] is too many, especially if it’s in front of my house.”

WASA currently has a two dedicated crews repairing and replacing hydrants on a daily basis, supplemented by six crews that flush the water mains, which involves opening up fire hydrants. Last August, the agency embarked on a massive evaluation of the city’s hydrants, hiring an outside contractor to inspect and make minor repairs. The goal is to maintain over 99 percent operational.

After the fire, a WASA crew investigated the Emerald Street hydrant, along with hydrants at 13th and E, 14th and F, and 16th and E, and found all to be in good order. Spokesperson Michele Quander-Collins says she could find no record of any of them malfunctioning. “I just don’t know what they’re talking about,” she says. “We cannot find any inoperable hydrants in that area. We can’t explain why it was reported as not working. We didn’t get a call from fire department or a citizen, which is usually how we find out about these things. That’s not something we’d leave as a longstanding problem.”

Look for a detailed investigation into the city’s broken hydrants in next week’s City Paper.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

metropets
Kelly, a dog walker and trainer, says that she comes across so many strays that she always carries around a spare leash. And being prepared has its benefits: “On Friday I was driving to an appointment when I saw a Siberian Husky mix trotting quite briskly towards the woods, with no owner in sight,” she writes. “I swerved over, called the dog, and offered him treats. He finally came over, wolfed down the treats, and I quickly and quietly put my extra leash on him. While he was eating the treats, I read his collar and called the owner. Who it turns out was looking for him. He rode up on a bike about 5 minutes later. Very grateful, and it turns out, very handsome.”

tenleytown
In light of the recent bomb scare, one woman wonders how much earlier she’s going to have to get to National next Sunday for a 6:15 a.m. flight to Houston. “3 hours in advance—the generic advice that came from the vendor—seems insane under the circumstances,” she writes, “but?I’m willing to believe that an earlier than usual arrival is called for.” Not much earlier, it turns out. “I just flew home to TN last week and to tell you the truth I saw no difference at all from a few months ago,” a neighbor writes. “I was there an hour and a half before my flight left and I had plenty of time. I was not all that inmpressed by any new security measures which seemed to consist of security people telling passengers, “No liquids” and that was about it.” BWI, however, might be a different story. “I arrived at 4:30AM for a 6:00AM flight and barely made my flight,” writes Fred. “The main problem at BWI was the line for United, not security. (I’ve never seen so many people before at 4:30AM!).”

RunWashington
With the Marine Corps Marathon just two months away, Max offers Washington runners a mental exercise to help pass the roadwork: Rate the MCM on a scale of 1 to 5. “I know I’m going to get crap for this…but I rate it between a 3 & 4,” writes Debi. James thinks those numbers are reserved for Boston. “I agree that it’s more difficult than many realize,” he says. “[But] something like San Fran or Big Sur or even NY with all the bridges I think would rate higher (having never run any of those courses).” Debi’s response: “A lot of people expect to run a PR at MCM, and end up being totally kicked in the A$$ because it’s a SNEAKY hard. Looks flat, looks easy, but man..what the heck happened to my legs at mile 15?” Nancy requests clarification on the scale: “Is a 5 like Badwater in Death Valley with hangnails?” she asks. “Or Pike’s Peak double with blisters? Is a 1 like pancake-flat Shamrock on a non-windy, overcast, reasonably warm March day?”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

AdamsMorgan
Ward 1 Council candidate and Listserv troll Chad Williams writes an open letter to his community in which he touts his ability to…chat with gang members. “We need a councilmember who truly understands how to reduce the criminal activities of gangs in Ward 1. We need a councilmember who is comfortable speaking to members of 640 (Park Morton Apartments), 35 Double O (3500 block of 14th Street), MS-13, Pussy Pound and others. That Councilmember must have the resolve to persuade gangs and enlighten these adolescents to ways of better economic opportunities than a life in crime.” One resident calls bullshit. “Okay, so you have ‘spoken with’ the various gangs,” she writes. “When? How many times? How did your speaking with them reduce crime in our neighborhood?…Do you have any empirical evidence to support your assumptions? Did you come to these conclusions after ‘speaking with’ the various gangs? Please tell us how you have persuaded the gangs in the past; and why you think the gang members will opt for a different lifestyle once they are enlightened about ‘better economic opportunities than a life in crime.’”

LDSAbstractSingles
This week, local Mormons tackle illegal immigration. Xenophobic rants ensue: “Really, its becoming more and more clear that the U.S. is getting lost in the cultures of all the other countries out there,” JC writes. “Nobody even knows what the United States stands for anymore unless they are talking about high divorce rate, lots of fat people, and increasingly less morals (Pres. Clinton).…I can’t walk down the street without being bombarded by some other language on a sign or billboard.” Blake responds: “Yes we should be in better control of immigration, but the fear of losing ‘our culture’ is silly. And try not to forget that these 10 million illegals are not sitting around asking for a handout.” JC, however, is not to be talked down to—and he also remains oblivious to the fact that his command of written English would barely pass TOEFL requirements. “I’m really somewhat surprised to see how liberal some people in the church have become,” he grumbles.

TakomaDC
The battle over the Piney Branch Road Safeway’s alcohol license continues. “I am a fan of being able to do one-stop-shopping at Safeway for a meal snd beverage (including alcohol),” writes Evelyn. “I also understand the concerns of not wanting to be a 24 hour liquor store. What I am concerned about is that we don’t make alcohol purchase an option of only the wealthy and well-to-do.” But Judy finds the discussion tangential. “I don’t think I care if the Safeway sells alcohol,” writes Judy, “but I wish they would care more about the shoppers’ experience in the store.” Hence her calls for Safeway to “stop selling farm-raised fish” and “stop their Sunday hot dog grilling, which can only be wasting more $ than it is raising”

On July 9, panda cub Tai Shan celebrated his first birthday with a party befitting the child emperor of the National Zoo. Over in Chinatown, it was just another Sunday for Washington’s other Tai Shan, the restaurant at 622 H St. NW. Manager Nancy Wu, who didn’t even know it was the panda cub’s birthday, says the 12-year-old restaurant enjoyed a slight uptick in traffic when he was first born, only to return to the “same as before.” Not that Wu expected any benefits to sharing a moniker with the animal formerly known as Butterstick. The panda’s name is Mandarin for “peaceful mountain,” but Wu’s Tai is Cantonese, sharing the same root as “Taiwan” and referring to her hometown in Guangzhou. Those distinctions, of course, are lost on the occasional fanny-pack-wearing lao wai. “They say, ‘Oh! Your restaurant have same name as panda,’” she says, chuckling. “Well, maybe my restaurant is lucky, or maybe my restaurant’s food is good.”

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

colonial
Who says Mormons are square? While boozing is a well-known no-no, and some Mormons won’t even set foot in a bar, a group of Colonial ward singles organizing a Family Home Evening (a Monday night gathering to talk gospel shop) are willing to ignore the debauchery at Whitlow’s on Wilson for the sake of cheap eats. “For those unfamiliar with the delights of WoW, it is a ‘college-esque’ beer and burger joint in Clarendon, and on Monday nights they offer half price hamburgers,” writes the organizer. “So dust off your ID…and come join us for lots of fun conversation and great burgers.” In a separate post, a single Mormon dude is—gasp—looking for fly honeys as roommates, another big no-no. “Hi, i’m looking for cool coed’s.…females down with living with a fun guy!” he writes. “I know there must be tons of cool girls okay with living with a guy(s)…as there seemed to be endless numbers of girls living with guys down at duck beach for a week(end). Cool girls need only respond. Thanks.”

shepherdpark
The weekend’s crime reports are in. For some, robbery appears to be just another errand: “C1(H,M,21) AND C2(H,F,25) RPT S1 APPROACHED C1-2 AS S1 TALKED ON A CELL PHONE. S1 THEN TOLD THE PERSON ON THE PHONE, ‘HOLD ON.’ IN SPANISH. S1 THEN PULLED OUT A KNIFE AND IN SPANISH STATED, ‘GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT.’ C1-2 COMPLIED. S1 FLED WEST ON TAYLOR ST NW.”

TakomaDC
While the city celebrated the Fourth of July, some Takoma Park residents were inside just waiting for it to end. “I’m writing to find out if anyone knows about a time limit for setting off fireworks in DC,” one woman writes. “Right now, it sounds like a war is going on outside our windows, and my three year old has his pillow wrapped around his head…and is scared stiff.” But some think folks need to loosen up a little. “It’s a festival,” writes another resident. “A celebration. Enjoy it. God knows, it should happen more often!” “Unfortunately this is really hard to do when you have a screaming child,” says another, who then offers a bit of advice: “My only suggestion with noise is to desensitize the child someway—allowing him or her to make sudden loud noises or to see them made so they become understandable. They seem to go on for weeks around here.”

Like many teenagers, Vanessa Romero will be spending part of her summer back at school. Each weekday morning until Aug. 4, the 15-year-old Palisades resident will rouse herself before 8 a.m. and head to Woodrow Wilson Senior High, where she’ll begin her freshman year in the fall, for a District of Columbia Public Schools (DCPS) summer “bridge program.”

All the self-discipline comes with a payoff. And not just that satisfaction-of-a-job-well-done crap, either. For every hour she puts in, Romero will be compensated $5.15, which works out to about $100 per week. “Some people do it because of the opportunity to get a head start on high school,” she says. “But most likely it’s because of the pay. I’m doing it because of the pay and because it’s a good opportunity.”

The program, designed to ease the transition to high school, debuted last year at four schools; for the current session 2,100 students have enrolled, spread out among all 17 District high schools. As with last year, DCPS will pay the students so they, and their parents, wouldn’t have to choose between work and school. “We understand that there are some parents who can’t wait until their kids turn 14 so they can get a job,” says Dora Taylor, marketing and communication specialist for the DCPS office of Career and Technical Education.

The payment component also offers a tool to motivate slackers. “When they’re late and stuff, we encourage [the teachers] to say, ‘This isn’t school. This is work, and you’re late for work,’” Taylor says. “The circumstances would have to be extreme, but you can also be fired.”