Author Archive for Emily Kaiser

D.C. Pandas Don’t Care About Earthquakes

Thanks to the District's excessive use of social media, we've pretty much heard how every person here (or the entire East Coast) reacted to the earthquake yesterday. Thanks to the National Zoo, we now know how the animals in captivity weathered the 30 seconds of terror.
The Zoo staff released a list of some of the [...]

Saturday: Capital Pride Parade

It's the last weekend of Capital Pride and that means it's time to head down to the annual parade Saturday evening. The procession starts at 5:30 p.m., heading through Dupont Circle and ending at 14th and N NW. Check the route map for specifics and watch for the Washington City Paper float. Some of us [...]

Video: Bin Laden’s Death Gives Bros a Reason to Party

If you chose to stay in last night and enjoy a full-night's sleep, you missed out on one heck of a brotastic party at the White House. When news broke that Osama bin Laden was dead, crowds started to gather in front of the White House with American flags, beachballs, and Bush/Cheney campaign signs. Cheerleaders [...]

Tonight: Jesus Will Be Carried Through Streets of Columbia Heights, Mt. Pleasant

It's Good Friday and that means Shrine of the Sacred Heart church on 16th and Park will do the traditional procession through Mt. Pleasant and Columbia Heights. The procession begins at the church at 8:30 p.m. Darrow Montgomery has a great set of photos from last year's procession, but it's worth seeing for yourself.

Valentine’s Day Poll Web Traffic Pageviews Now Please!

Just trying to get in on the Valentine's Day traffic grab.

Ice Cream Guy Survives Polar Bear Plunge

After the Washington Post's Ice Cream Guy turned into an incredible meme last week, we couldn't resist the opportunity to add him to Matt Dunn's already-hilarious photos from the Annapolis Polar Bear Plunge. Enjoy!

Illustrations by Brooke Hatfield, original photos by Matt Dunn.

News4’s Pat Collins Looking for 15 Inches of Fun During Thundersnow

News4 reporter Pat Collins is looking for a little more than a good snowball fight tonight. He wants '15 inches of fun' while he's out there. Can't wait for the follow-up to this report:

Fighting Moms: Best DCUM Story Comments

Have you read this week's cover story about the Mommy Fights on the D.C. Urban Moms message board? If not, let some of the best commenters entice you in. We've collected our favorite comments from our site and Fark that really sum up the horrid underbelly of the District. It's a place where rich parents [...]

D.C. Urban Moms Hate Your Stroller Because They Aren’t Getting Laid

As a young woman living in D.C., this week's cover story on the horrors of the D.C. Urban Moms message board further convinced me that D.C. is a wretched place to reproduce. I couldn't stop wondering why these women spent all of their time judging others on stroller choice, what school their over-privileged snob got [...]

TBD Tries Softcore Porn!

Looking for a new site to help you get the juices flowing? TBD might be able to help you out (with photos and video!):
Gaitán asked me to start with a slow dribble out of my mouth. “Try to look sad,” she said. I let the corn syrup pass through my lips, and down my chin, [...]

Same-Sex Skype Wedding Rejected By D.C. Marriage Bureau

Last month, Mark Reed and Dante Walkup wed in Washington D.C. from a Dallas, Texas hotel. Although gay marriage isn't legal in Texas, the couple had Sheila Alexander-Reid (Washington City Paper's business development manager) officiate the wedding from a Washington, D.C. hotel via Skype. The wedding video and story went viral, but last week the [...]

Chandra Levy Murder Trial: Ingmar Guandique Guilty

During the fourth day of deliberations, Ingmar Guandique was found guilty of first-degree murder in the 2001 murder of Chandra Levy. The announcement came less than two hours after deliberation resumed Monday.
Guandique originally faced another count of first-degree felony murder for allegedly sexually assaulting Levy in the trial that started Oct. 25.  The kidnapping and [...]

TBD Envisions National Mall of Menstruating Fake Protesters Desperately Searching for Tampons

I'll admit: Washington City Paper (along with many other sites across the country) is in quite a tizzy over this fake protest thing on the National Mall this weekend. Perhaps so obsessed with it that the idea of attending Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's planned mayhem is starting to sound a bit lame. Why? Because [...]

Zoo Poll: 67 Percent of Lion Cub Cam Fans Watch for 2+ Hours Daily

So the new lion cubs at the Smithsonian Zoo are pretty damn cute. Look at that cub. Did your ovaries explode?
But when we express our extreme love of the lion cub photos, our creepy baby-animal obsession stops there. Apparently for many of the Zoo's super fans, that is totally not the case. Some of the [...]

D.C. Cab Drivers Aren’t Fond of Blind People with Guide Dogs, Study Shows

Seeing person or blind person with a guide dog? A recent civil rights watchdog group study showed that D.C. cabbies will pass by the blind person and their dog in favor of a sighted person down the road 50 percent of the time. Busted!
The Equal Rights Center study was based on 30 tests in the [...]